May 19
Heeeeeey! Ole Bats coulda saved his Outside Privileges Brownie Points, cause I never got a chance to use em- my Puddin snuck in and broke me out last night right after I'd finished writing (and was pulling tinfoil balls out from between my sheets). I heard this little voice going "HARley, HARley", and I figured it was just Sewer King- his cell is across from mine and he's taking to bugging me when he can't sleep. So anyways I'm all "Shut up, Sewer"- just a second before I realize this is NOT Sewer King's voice, this is a voice I'd recognize ANYWHERE! "Mr J!" I exclaim joyfully.
"Shut up, you idiot!" he snarls back. Oh, how I've missed that sweet and tender voice!
Turns out he's trying to break us out quiet-like. It almost works, too, but then Sewer King DOES wake up to bother me, and seems not to take kindly to the notion of me not being around to bother. So then it's your standard duck-and-run from the guards, although Mr J does manage to nail a few of them (with great style puddin, I may add!) and in eventuality we're speeding away in a getaway car. By this time stupid Arkie's evidently already called GCPD, and they've got the Batsignal up, but luckily me and my puddin have such a head start that I bet when Bats arrived at Arkie, they couldn't even remember which way we went. Poor ole Mr B probably just paced broodingly for a few minutes and grabbed the nearest convict by the collar. Seems to be his standard procedure when he can't think of anything else to do. Lot of people actually seem to find it comforting- I guess they figure that if anyone is that pace-y and brood-y, he's surely formulating an unbeatable plan.
Silly Bats. He probably just goes home and watches the Late Show in his well-hung porn star apartment.
Anyway, Mr J and I make it home scot-free (and not only are we free of Scottish people, we're free of Bats, too.) The Goons are waiting for us. I guess it was the fat one who tipped Bats off, since he's no longer here and the other Goons seem really jumpy. Still, one of them did bring out my diamante mask for me. I forgot how considerate Mr J's hired help is. They may be lackeys, but they're OUR lackeys!
I change into my work clothes and feed Cerby and Fenny, who ARE looking a little peaked, poor babies! (Speaking of, I'm glad to be back with Mr J. He only feeds me when he's in the mood, and I was getting a tummy from all those Arkham potato entrees.) Once that's all done, I'm kinda tired and I feel like going to bed, but Mr J's got a coupla things he wants me to do. Nothing big, just all the dishes and laundry from those days I was in jail. Bless his heart, he couldn't figure out how to use the machines. Once I did that, and also cleaned the floor (which I must say was FILTHY, the Goons musta been wearing their muddy work boots in the house while I was away) me and Mr J sat down for a bit. He bought a bottle of Sourpuss for us to drink after his daring rescue! My puddin is just SO considerate. So, anyway, after the nookie and Sourpuss (both of which were great!) I find that I've gotta ask the obvious question- "Puddin," I say, "While I appreciate the daring rescue, what gives? You've never been in such a hurry that you couldn't wait for me to get paroled before."
He turns that adorable smile on me and my heart melted like a pat of butter. "Simple, Harley," he grins, "I'm just about to launch a marvelous new scheme- but the preparations are a two-person job." Turns out that whatever he wants to do, he needs this rare flower for- Pica Rosea. Evidently the only place in Gotham State that has a sample is Toxic Acres- you know, Red's greenhouse.
So tomorrow, I'm off to Toxic Acres to find some Pica Rosea for my Puddin. Tonight, though, I'm off to find my Puddin (in bed). Niiiiight!
LOVE HARLEY