Thinking 'bout Me, a my so called life fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own My So Called Life or any of its characters. Michael Cabot is a figment of my own imagination. Song is 'Thinking 'bout me' by Brian McKnight

Thinking 'bout Me

Today is your wedding day
And that's a beautiful thing
No use in me going into
The way things used to be
How I cared for you
You cared for me
And that wasn't that long ago
But I can't help but smile
As you walk down the aisle
Cause there's one thing I know,

"Can you believe it, Rickie," Rayanne gushed as the two of them walked into the bride room, "our little Angela is all grown up and getting…getting married."

"I know," Rickie replied, "it seems like only yesterday when we were dying her hair red and helping her get a fake ID."

"Will the two of you stop it already," Angela scowled playfully as she emerged from the bathroom, "You have been saying the same thing ever since I got engaged – that was almost six months ago."

"We can't help it." Rickie said.

"Yea, to think it was only a few years ago in high school when you were crushing on Catalano and…" Rayanne stopped mid-sentence when she saw a haunted look fall over her friend's features. "Angela, are you okay?" Angela just stood there, her eyes glazed over, too lost in thought to have heard Rayanne's question.

Every time you close your eyes at night
You know inside your heart
That something ain't right
And things are not the way that you wish they could be
Even though you're with him
I know you're thinking 'bout me
I know you're thinking 'bout me, yeah

Jordan Catalano. There's a name I'll never forget. It's been six years since that faithful year in high school and yet still I can't get him out of my mind. It's true that I want him and I won't deny it, but in the end I need to think of my future. And plus, Michael's a good man; he's a safe man who won't cause me any unnecessary pain. With Michael I can have a good, safe future. It's not selfish thinking, just plain fact. Right?

I know you think it's easier
To lie to yourself
Even got yourself believing
You're better off with somebody else
So you sacrifice for security
Cause your impatient self did run away from me
And you settle for
The first thing through the door
When you know what you want is me

"ANGELA!" Rayanne said again, finally pulling the young bride out of her thoughts.

"Huh…what…oh, I'm okay…I'm fine…" Angela replied quickly.

"Are you sure? Not getting cold feet or anything?" Rickie asked hesitantly.

"Nope. No cold feet for me. I am totally ready to become Mrs. Michael Cabot."

"Okay, just making sure." Rayanne said, before quickly adding, "Oh and Jordan's here."

"At the wedding?" Angela asked fearfully.

"Uh huh" they replied as Angela's eyes once again clouded over in thought.

He's here. Jordan Catalano is here. At my wedding. But why? I wonder if he's thought about me as much as I've thought about him over the years. Nope, not gonna go there. I'm getting married today. I should be thinking about my husband to be not the pretty blue eyed musician whose hair is so extremely soft and…I must stop this train of thought. I'm getting married and that's final. I'm getting married to Michael Cabot. Right?

I know he thinks you're crying
Cause it's the happiest you've ever known
But girl you'd just be lying
Cause what he doesn't know
You're strong for me
You belong to me
And here's the one last chance for you to go

"It's time," Graham announced as he entered the room. "You ready to take that big walk down the aisle," he asked as he tucked his daughter's hand into the crook of his arm.

"Yup…I'm ready to get married," Angela said quietly as tears, unbeknownst to her, fell silently down her face.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Graham asked cautiously as he gently wiped her cheeks.

"Oh they're just happy tears, daddy," she replied. "Just happy tears," she mumbled to herself.

Cause every time you close your eyes at night
You know inside your heart
That something ain't right
And things are not the way that you wish they could be
Even though you're with him
I know you're thinking 'bout me

The time finally came, as the soft music filled the church, and father and daughter made their way down the aisle. When she got to the alter, Angela made a sweep of the people congregated in front of her. It wasn't long before she found the beautiful blue eyes of her first love.

Closing her eyes, Angela forced herself to focus on the ceremony. 'I can do this,' she told herself.

"It is now time for the bride and groom to say their vows," the priest announced. "Angela will go first." Angela found herself drowning in the blue pools of Jordan's eyes before she forced herself to look into the chocolate brown eyes of her fiancé.

"I…I…" Angela looked at Rayanne and Rickie, who gave her a sympathetic look in return. She then turned her eyes to the priest who looked at expectantly, the same for her soon to be husband. Her eyes then landed on Jordan who had a knowing smirk on his face but his eyes were filled with love and hope.

"I can't do this," she finally said. "I'm sorry Michael, but I love someone else." With that said Angela gathered the skirt of her dress and quickly ran out of the church.

Angela had made it out of the church and was barely leaving the parking lot when the soft call of her name caused her to stop. Turning around, she found herself staring into the face of the man who never seemed to leave her mind over the years.

"Angela, hey…are you okay?" Jordan asked tentatively. Angela just nodded her head before throwing herself into his arms.

"I am now," she finally said after what felt like eternity.

"You want to get out of here," he asked as he brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

She nodded and took his hand to lead him to what would have been her 'just married' limo. "I've been thinking about you," Angela said quietly as she looked into his sapphire eyes.

"I've been thinking about you too," he replied just as quietly before he placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

It may not be tomorrow
But there will come a day
But when you realize I hope its not too late
Cause things won't be the way that you wish they could be
Even though you're with him
I know you're thinking 'bout me