A few hours later the gang was finally ready. Conrad again took the lead and took everyone down the elevator to a stretch hummer waiting for them.
"Oh my," said Angel "what all comes with this?"
"A good time and a rough ride" said Conrad, stepping in first.
"Oh la la" said Collins as he nudged Angel. Lauren was frantically patting her hair, trying to keep it flat. She'd finally decided on a skirt and shirt, but she still felt out of place. Rhi looked so beautiful, and Palmer just looked herself in a multitude of colors. Frustrated, Conrad whipped out a can of hair spray from her bag and sprayed it all over Lauren, including over her glasses and in her mouth.
"There, that should keep it down for a bit, don't cha think?" said Conrad, shooting out a glare.
"HAIRSPRAY! MY EYES!" Mark screamed. "HAIRSPRAY IN MY EYES! I MIGHT GO BLIND!"
"Oh shut the fuck up," said Roger, "You're already half blind anyways, just look at those thick glasses. Maybe that hairspray will get the rest of the job done." Lauren gasped.
"Oh god you killed him!"
"No! I can still breathe!" said Mark reassuringly.
"Can you see me? Does anybody have water and a paper towel?" she took off his glasses. Collins looked around.
"I've got Vodka..."
"Oh baby, don't waste my Vodka." coaxed Angel.
"You're right baby, that's for us later." said Collins with a wink. Lauren frowned.
"Mark, try not to blink, it'll connect your eyelashes." Rhi rolled her eyes, while Roger started to laugh.
"Eyelashes are the least of my worries right now, thanks." said mark, trying to regain his sense of sight.
"Well if your eyelashes connect together, you won't be able to open your eyes!"
"Oh, really?" said Mark, now suddenly sitting with his eyes wide open.
"Here.." said Palmer, reluctant to give up her bottle. "Its purified mineral water from Canada, please don't waste it.
"Thanks," said La as she pulled a lense cloth from her purse. She slowly began to wipe the hairspray off Marks glasses and face. Right as the hummer went over a ditch, La's hand jammed right into Marks eye. "Oh shit!" she gasped.
"MY EYES!" screamed Mark. Rhi lost it; she started to gasp for air, while Roger was wiping tears from his eyes.
"POOR BABY!" screamed Roger, before bursting back into guffaws.
"Oh god, I'm sorry!" She put a hand to her mouth.
"Here, darling, lemme take care of this" said Angel in a comforting tone as she took the cloth and water from La and began to work her magic. Lauren slumped back in her seat, bright red.
"Oh hun," said Conrad, just barely giggling as usual. "We're almost there anyways. JAMBIN TUK PERE!" she screamed to the driver. He immediately turned right and pulled right up to the party sight.
"Whoa, you speak Swahili?" said Palmer, "And you didn't tell me!"
"I learned some of it for the trip. Again, I must be prepared cause I know you guys won't be." Conrad said, with that same smug smile she always wore. They all got out of the car, and Lauren hung back. Mark was blinking, trying to regain his vision. His left eye was red and slightly puffy.
Oh...god...I'm sorry. I should have...this is all my fault..."
Oh no, don't worry about it. Stuff like this always happens to me anyways." Mark said, trying his best to put on a happy face.
Conrad stuffed some paper bills into the pocket of the driver and told him to wait here until they came back, unless he had something better to do. She also said he could join the party, all in Swahili of course. They went into the party. Mark's vision had apparently returned, because he gasped. "HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS, LOOK! A MENORAH!" Collins just shook his head.
"We're all the way out here in the middle of Africa and Mark still wants to celebrate Hanukkah!" Angel laughed and said
"Hey, Mark, did you bring your camera to document the Kwanzaan menorah?" Mark felt his blood run cold.
"SHIT THE CAMERA! I LEFT IT IN THE ROOM!" Lauren laughed, and handed him hers.
"I knew you would."
"Oh my goodness, how can I thank you?" said Mark.
"Oh, just give me a reason to kick Rhi out of my suite tonight... I MEAN!" said Lauren suddenly blushing a shade of deep pink realizing she had just revealed her innermost fantasy.
"Hmm..well Ill see if I can arrange that" said Mark playfully. Rhi snorted, while Conrad began to speak to the man who seemed to be in charge. Lauren laughed, and Mark turned to film. Checking no one saw her, she did a dance and squealed. However, Roger caught her little dance.
"Sweets, don't get your hopes up," whispered Rodger, "Maureen told me he wasn't really even that good." She threw some grapes at him. "Hey hey!" said Rodger "I'm just saying.." Before anything more could be exchanged, Conrad butted in.
"The man over there says the fire is going to be lit in like 15 minutes, so if we really wanna get the feel for this celebration we should head down there."
"Are you positive that's what he said?" asked Mark.
"Do I look unsure?" Conrad shot back. The group of them walked down, Lauren standing in between Rhi and Palmer.
"He was flirting with me," she sighed. The pair looked at each other and shook their heads. Rhi turned to La and said,
"Hun, I'm just gunna spend the night in Palmer and Conrad's suite, mkay?"
"WHAT! I'll be alone?" said Lauren, sounding scared for her life. Palmer just laughed and said,
"From the way this night is going, probably not." Lauren blushed horribly.
"I...no...that's...crazy. I nearly blinded him! It's...nothing's happening." Mark continued filming.
Conrad, say hi!" Rhi and Palmer just looked at each other.
"Riiiiggghhhhttttt.."
"YOU GET THAT FUCKING CAMERA OUTTA MY DAMN FACE OR ILL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" screamed Conrad. Mark jumped back,
"I'm..I'm sorry.. I didn't..I didn't know.."
"Don't take it personally," said Palmer, "she doesn't deal well with being on camera."
"Ohh.. ohh.. umm ok, none of you guys are like that than?"
"Nope, we've got Conrad to act for all of us." smiled Rhi. Lauren took off her shoe and hit Conrad with it.
"Be nice! First you nearly blind him, and then you yell at the poor thing!"
"Psshh.. like I care anyways" said Conrad as she went to engage in conversation with one of the merchants.
"Dammnnn...she is feisty" said Collins. Angel scowled, and drank some wine.
"Fine stuff they have here," said Angel. "Too bad we can't take it home." Rhi stood awkwardly alone, while Palmer stood in front of the camera, talking about her Kwanzaa experiences. Roger looked at her.
"Hey there," said Rodger, as he slowed moved closer to Rhi, "What's wrong?"
"I'm just lonely," said Rhi quietly. "Palmers always right there, Conrad's so confident she can do any fucking thing, and La's just always flirting. I mean, where does that leave me?"
"Aw, don't be down babe. We're just here to have fun- once in a life time deal. Let's just enjoy it, kay?" Lauren frowned.
"Aww Roger come on...don't lead her on..." she sighed. Mark turned the camera to her.
"And La, apparently enjoying some type of foreign cheese..." Right as he said that, Lauren gagged.
"THE CHEESE! THE CHEESE!" she said, gasping for air.
"Does anyone know the Heimlich?" said Palmer. Conrad popped out of no where and began the Heimlich. After a few punch La coughed up the cheese.
"Uhhh.. err..thanks hun." said Lauren, more embarrassed than ever.
"IS there anything you don't know?" said Collins.
"Hmm.. well, I don't know the state dog of Wyoming, and I don't know what the colors of the flag of Nepal stand for, so sure there are plenty of things I don't know." said Conrad. Roger walked over.
"Did you just film the entire time she choked?"
"Was there something better I could have done?" said Mark blindly.
"Ohh.. I dunno, maybe try to SAVE HER FUCKING LIFE! Gosh Mark you're such an ass." said Rodger as he walked away. A tall man stood on a wooden stand and began speaking a language that no one (except Conrad) understood.
"He's blessing this ceremony," said Conrad in a hushed tone "Stand still and quite until you see everyone start to move again, don't wanna disrespect these people." After he was done speaking, someone got on a ladder and began to light a candle. Mark grinned.
"Yep. Just like Hanukkah."
"Only a completely different culture and religion." said Conrad.
"I don't think she likes me.." said Mark sadly.
"No, she's just paranoid about being photographed in any way, and you tried to do that." said Palmer.
"But I didn't know!" pleaded Mark.
"Oh don't worry, tomorrow she'll realize she was a bitch and she'll apologize." reassured Palmer.
"Really?" said Mark, a little smile dancing across his face.
"Always works that way" smiled Palmer. Lauren stood next to Rhi.
"I've fucked this up majorly. I nearly blinded him, and I almost died."
"No hun, we hardly ever go anywhere without you nearly dying anyways." said Rhi. It was then that all the candles were lit and a cheer fell over the crowd. The fire pit lit up in a great ball of sparks and flames and everyone began to dance. A few hours later and many sore feet and empty stomachs, the crew decided to head back to the hotel. Conrad had bought some food and made great friends with one of the older merchants to get a great deal.
"Come on guys, Ill cook you something when we get back." said Conrad.
"She can cook?" said Collins.
"She's freaking Superman." said Rhi.
"Without the tights" said Conrad. They began to pile back in the car, but Lauren stopped Mark.
"Uh..how's your eye?" she asked, slightly pink.
"All the better to see you with, my dear." he said playfully has Lauren giggled and turned even more pink. They piled in the car, and passed around the Vodka. Conrad and Palmer looked at each other. They knew where this was going.
"I think Ill pass, I've got to work when I get back.." said Conrad.
"Oh come on," tempted Collins, swinging the bottle under her nose, "you work too much anyways.." as he threw back another drink. "And you, little miss?" referring to Palmer.
"Straight Edge, no thanks." she said confidently.
"Straight-what?" said Collins, sounding slightly drunk.
"Straight Edge," corrected Palmer "No underage smoking, drugs, alcohol, and no sex before marriage."
"Sounds more like No Fun to me.." said Collins, squeezing Angel closer as they giggled together. Rhi, however, was throwing shots back with the rest of them. Lauren snorted.
"Rhi...you're gonna get sick."
"Has that ever stopped me before?" said Rhi, "besides I don't have to go to school tomorrow.. or do I? Ahh who gives a flying fuck give me another!" By the time they reached the hotel, Rhi was passed out on Palmer's lap and they were already for bed. Palmer tried to wake her up, but Rhi just pushed her away. Roger sighed.
"I'll carry her upstairs."
"Aww thank you." said Palmer pushing Rhi over towards Roger.
"We won't need your help, thanks" Conrad said kindly to Roger throwing Rhi over his shoulder. "Don't want her to think you're leading her on now do you?"
"Oh Conrad don't be a bitch. Rogers just a nice guy" said Palmer.
"Really, Ill take her, its no big deal.." said Roger quietly. Realizing she was defeated, Conrad reluctantly handed Rhi over to Roger as they headed up the stairs. Conrad again thanked and tipped the driver. She told him shed call in the morning. They reached up to the 13th floor. Rhi was placed on Conrad's bed, mainly because Conrad knew she wasn't going to sleep and they all secretly did want to give La and Mark their 15 minutes together.
"Does anyone want food?" said Conrad, wide awake in contrast to the sleepiness of the rest of the group. Lauren got out of the car, and began to walk towards the door. She tripped in a pothole.
"Ohh baby I just want you right now." said Collins to Angel.
"Ohh baby I love it when you talk to me like that.." Angel coaxed as they both practically ran to their room. "Sure they won't want food?" said Conrad. "I swear, hun, for someone so smart you can be so stupid sometimes." said Palmer shaking her head.
"But they don't want food?" said Conrad again.
"We're not hungry.." they all said
"Good Night all." Roger and Mark went off to their suites, La went to hers, and Palmer and Conrad went to check on Rhi. After everyone had fallen asleep, Conrad smiled insanely has she heard footsteps creep over towards her side of the hall, then a door slowly creek open, and then an enormous squee.