A New Beginning
Chapter 1: On the Run
"Harry, you need to eat something," Fred said, worry clouding his voice and face as he and George sat opposite him in the café they were in.
"I know, Fred. But I can't," Harry whispered, his hand resting on his stomach as he tried to battle the nausea, exhaustion, and fear that he was feeling.
It had been a long two months.
Nearing the end of June there was, as always, a fight against Voldemort. Voldemort and some Death Eaters had arrived in Hogsmeade on the last Hogsmeade trip of the year, and battle had ensued. It had ended rather abruptly, on Harry's end anyway, when Lucius Malfoy sent a spell at him which hit him at the same time as a blast of pure magic from Voldemort.
This lead to Harry passing out due to the torturous pain in his stomach. When he woke up he was told he was fine but his stomach was a tad bruised. It had been sore for a few days but manageable. He was able to complete his fifth year without too much trouble.
Then he went back to the Dursleys two weeks later, and things were fine other than the starvation and slaving away for them, as well as the occasional beating from his uncle.
Then the sickness started. He was puking in the morning, every morning. But not just in the morning, it would creep up in the afternoon and evening every now and then also. He thought, at first, that it was just the lack of food and his body not adjusting to going from eating three meals a day at Hogwarts to eating barely a snack each day as quickly as usual.
But then he passed out whilst working on the front garden and the Order member that was spying on him took him to Headquarters.
When he woke up he found Dumbledore, Pomfrey, Tonks, Moody, as well as Sirius and Remus standing at the end of his bed, there was a gold magical shield around him, and he felt sick.
"What is wrong with me?" Harry asked as he sat up slowly, trying not to puke.
"Nothing to worry about, my boy, we will sort it out just as soon as you remove your shield," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling but Harry could see anger and disgust in them also.
Something felt very wrong about the situation.
"Why can't you just tell me what is happening? It is my body after all, I think I deserve to know what has been making me sick the last week or so," Harry said, raising an eyebrow at his godfather who looked rather sheepish. The disgust in his eyes hurt Harry, though, "Sirius, what is going on?"
"You're pregnant," Sirius blurted out, which then led to the other adults in the room glaring at the immature man.
"What? But I'm a man. And I haven't had sex," Harry said, shocked. He didn't know that male pregnancy was possible in the wizarding world.
"Well, some wizards can get pregnant. And you are," Sirius ground out, annoyed, the disgust still lingering in his eyes.
"And how am I pregnant if I haven't had sex?"
Pomfrey sighed, glaring at Sirius, "The curse that Lucius Malfoy sent you, that hit you at the same time as the blast of magic from You-Know-Who, allowed this to happen. You are pregnant with You-Know-Who's… foetus," she shivered in disgust.
Harry swallowed, looking at the adults in the room and not liking the way they were staring at him. His hand unconsciously went to his stomach, where his child lay within him.
"Okay. Well then, why is there a shield around me?" Harry asked, not liking the situation at all.
"The shield appeared when we tried to abort the baby for you," Sirius said.
Harry didn't know what to think, what to feel.
They tried to kill his baby. Without him even knowing. Without his consent.
They tried to kill his baby.
"You tried to kill my baby," Harry said quietly, curling into a ball to better protect his belly.
"Harry, my boy, it is Voldemort's… child,"
"It is my baby,"
"Harry, you can't possibly want to continue this, what would your parents think?" Sirius screeched, Harry cringed at the pitch.
"You mean my parents who died to protect me? I think they would be okay with me wanting and protecting my child,"
"That monster killed them and you want to have his child," Remus growled.
"No, I want to have my child. Mine. My baby,"
"My boy, you are only nearly sixteen, a bit young to have a baby, don't you think?"
"Yes, I am young. But that doesn't mean I won't love and look after my child. I am having my baby,"
"You are still in school, Harry, how can you finish your education and have a child at the same time?" Tonks said, there was a kindness in her voice but her face, her eyes, told a vastly different story.
"I don't know, but I think I have the right to bloody well figure it out if I want to," Harry growled.
Harry growled even more, even as he flinched at the spell that ricocheted off the shield. The spell which came from a very angry Sirius.
"You are not having that… thing, Harry. Your parents would be turning in their graves at what you are doing to repay their sacrifice. You shouldn't even be considering keeping the thing," Sirius spat, and Harry's heart hurt the more the man said.
"That thing is my baby, too. It is half me. I have every right to have my baby. You can't force an abortion on me. I don't want an abortion. I want my baby," Harry said, trying to fight back the tears as Sirius lunged at him only to fly off the shield, "Please, just let me have my baby,"
"We will come back when you have had time to properly think about this, my boy," Dumbledore said before leading the angry hoard out of the room. But Harry knew he wasn't going to be left alone.
And he wasn't left alone. They told the rest of the Order (apart from Snape and Kingsley), and the Weasleys and Hermione, about the baby, and all of them minus Bill, Charlie and the twins actively shot abortion charms at him whenever they saw him. Some of them got creative and started putting a potion in his food and drink to try and make him lose the baby.
He didn't understand. It was his baby, too. They all knew that all he had ever wanted was a family. This was his chance. His amazing miracle of a chance, and they were trying so bloody desperately to take it from him.
Fred and George were actively protecting him whenever they left the safety of the twins' bedroom, he wasn't safe with Ron, which wasn't all that often as he couldn't be around any of the Order without them trying to kill his child. Bill and Charlie agreed not to be so active about it as they would be helpful spies on the Order for them. But as a result of this Fred and George became targets for some nasty pranks and jinxes which hurt them. Because how dare they try to protect 'the thing'.
About a week ago Bill, Charlie and the twins helped him escape, the twins going with him to help with everything, and because they wanted to escape the things they were being put through, mostly by their own family, before it got unbearable.
Harry was now ten weeks pregnant. He was exhausted. He was sick. He was confused. He was scared. But he loved his baby. He wanted his baby more than anything else in the world.
And they had been trying to kill his baby for about six weeks.
He was surprised he held on as long as he did. But he knew he couldn't hold on much longer. He knew the shield was getting weaker. He knew his magic was getting weaker.
He had to leave. To protect his baby.
To protect himself.
To protect his friends.
But he couldn't eat. He couldn't eat because he wasn't safe. Because he was sick. Because he couldn't handle the thought that maybe his food was poisoned like so much of it was at Headquarters.
He couldn't handle the pain.
They were close to their destination.
Between reading books about male pregnancy which Bill and Charlie got for him, and trying to protect his baby from the people who were meant to love and help him, he had done some thinking. He tried not to be around them, just to be with the twins every second of the day, but they started bursting into the room at random intervals, thinking the shock would make the shield not appear.
A lot of thinking actually.
He wondered, a lot, if things were actually what they seemed to be, at least, before the Order started trying to kill his child. He wondered if the Light side were actually as Light as they pretended to be. And he wondered if the Dark was actually as Dark as they seemed to be.
Clearly things were not what they seemed on the Light if they thought it okay to try and kill his child without his consent just because of who the father was.
But, to be completely honest, he didn't actually know anything about the Dark side. All he knew was the bare minimum that the people he no longer trusted told him. And what young Tom told him in the Chamber.
But could he trust that?
All he knew was that he didn't want to fight. He never did.
All he wanted was for his child to be safe.
So, Harry figured, or hoped, that by going to Tom, because he felt calling his child's father Voldemort just wasn't the right thing to do, even with their history, they would be safe. Or, at least, their child would be safe.
He prayed to Merlin and every God that had ever been thought of that his baby would be safe.
Because he didn't know what else to do.
They were meant to go to Gringotts after leaving a false trail for a day or so, to see if anything could be done about a place to live and such, they couldn't exactly go to the twin's shop, it was still being warded and designed to the way they wanted it, including a flat for the two of them to live in above the shop. However, about two hours after they had escaped they got a Patronus from Bill saying not to go to Gringotts or the shop because some of the Order were going to be in Diagon Alley until he was found.
So this, going to Tom, was really the only option they had available.
Harry supposed he could go to Luna or Neville, he knew they would support him. He had realised that he had a lot more in common with them than he did with Ron and Hermione, and they were his new, secret, best friends.
But he knew that Dumbledore would try and contact them to see if they had heard from him. He might even just show up out of the blue at their homes to talk to Luna's dad or Neville's grandmother. And even though the two adults didn't like Dumbledore all that much, he just couldn't risk it.
He just hoped beyond all hope that he was making the right decision.
"Harry, the train is in fifteen minutes," George said, a sadness in his eyes as he looked at his friend.
Harry just stood and walked between the twins as they left the café and headed towards the last train of their journey. It was a quiet ride, Harry didn't really want to speak about anything, and the twins didn't know what they could do to help him. Harry thought they were already doing enough though, just by sticking with him, protecting him and his child, and caring about him as a human being even against their own family was enough for him.
Merlin knows that the only other people to care for him that way were Bill, Charlie, Luna, Neville, the twins, his original Quidditch team, Lee, and a certain Potions Master who had to pretend to hate them all.
He supposed that really he could have gone to any of them for help. But he knew that Dumbledore could dig his paws into all of them. And there was something niggling at his mind that he should tell Tom about their miracle.
He didn't know what, or even why.
Maybe he was going crazy.
He wouldn't be surprised if he was going crazy given that the last few weeks had been hell, along with just the rest of his life really.
But he needed to go to Tom. Needed to tell him about their child. Needed safety. Even if it was just until after he gave birth. So long as their child was safe he didn't care.
Well, he did. He wanted more than anything to raise his child. He could live with not being able to, however, so long as his child was safe, healthy and happy.
He was terrified.
Terrified that his child wasn't healthy.
He knew that his magic and shields had been getting weaker, it was hard not to considering how many times it had had to come out over the last six weeks. He stopped counting after the hundredth charm thrown at him, and that isn't even taking into account the potions in his food and drink.
Anyone who had to use magic that strong for that long would get weaker, and he was. He could feel it in how tired he was, how his magic felt, how lethargic he acted.
And although the spells and potions didn't kill his child, he knew that much because he could still feel their magic within him, he didn't know if they were healthy. If the spells and potions affected him or her in some way.
The potions were masked in such a way that his body didn't know they were there until the food had touched his stomach, the shield would then pop up and make him chuck up all the food he had consumed, and even after his stomach was purged.
If his baby was hurt because of them, because they thought it okay to try and kill an unborn, innocent child just because of their accidental creation and who their father was, Harry didn't know what he would do.
He would be beyond angry, of course. They had hurt his child, his unborn child.
But he considered many of them family. He trusted them. He loved them. And if they had hurt his child with their actions… he would be beyond devastated. He was already devastated at having lost so many people from his life because they couldn't accept his decision, and for the fact that they had dared to even attempt to kill his child. But if they had succeeded in hurting him or her, the betrayal would be so much worse. So much more painful than it already was.
Why?
Why did they have to do this to him?
They were supposed to be his family.
They were supposed to care for him.
They were supposed to help him.
And yet they did this.
They turned on him because of something that was a complete accident. In all ways. He hadn't even had sex to get pregnant, it was a couple of spells that created this life in him and they wanted to tear it away from him. Tear away this chance at true happiness. This chance for a true family.
He loved this baby more than anything else in the universe, had done since he found out he was pregnant, and yet they wanted to steal them away from him. They wanted to hurt him like that because how dare he want to birth the child of Voldemort.
He didn't see why they couldn't just understand, though. The baby was Tom's, yes. He was young and not out of school yet, yes. He was a weapon, yes, as much as he hated to admit it he realised now that that was how they saw him.
But his baby, who hadn't even been born yet, was innocent. His baby was a new beginning. His baby was half of him, too. Harry. And how could his baby become evil if he was the one to raise it and love it, actually give him or her a decent childhood? Harry knew that nature and nurture was a debate in science of all kinds, but Harry tended to think that nurture was what had the most influence in how a person acted.
Your experiences are what make you who you are, what your opinions are.
Tom didn't have a good childhood, neither did Harry.
But Harry was raised in a specific way, he knew this now, he had caught parts of conversations between Order members and he now knew they were raising him like a pig for slaughter.
Harry thought he had people who loved him but they were using him instead. Controlling him. And how could he be controlled if he had a child? How could he be controlled, manipulated, and used as a weapon if he had something good for once in his life? If he had a family? If he had something, someone, to fight for?
Harry didn't know how much more he could take, but he knew that if his baby was hurt because of what they had attempted, it would tear him apart. He wouldn't love his baby any less, obviously, but his pain would be greater than anything else.
He came out of his mind enough to realise that they were exiting the train station, the twins still on either side of him, protecting him even in that small way.
The walk from the station to the manor where he knew Tom was based on his visions and the baby's magic telling him instinctively where he was, was tense and silent. It took about half an hour but they had used a lot of muggle public transport since they left, weaving around the country to fool the Order, and they needed the time to gather themselves. To gather their courage. Also, walking helped to keep the Order off their trail somewhat. Going from train station to a bus stop however many miles away on foot so that the Order would be confused.
It helped that no one in the Order truly understood Muggles, they would have no clue what to do.
They had arrived at the gates of the Manor.
They looked at the beautiful gardens surrounding the place, and the gorgeous home in the distance.
Harry's hand rested on his stomach.
He was terrified.
But he knew he had to do this.
For his baby.
He rested his hand on the gate, letting his magic tell the owner that he was here. He hoped the man wouldn't just kill him on sight, but at least then he wouldn't be in pain. He would be with his parents, who he hoped weren't actually disappointed in him. He hoped they still loved him for this. For everything.
And he would be with his baby, also.
He would be safe.
But he wanted this to work, somehow. He wanted his baby to live.
And something, he didn't know what, was telling him that this was their chance. Their only chance.
He hoped he was right.
Hiya, I hope you are all well!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I love Second Chances by Slayer_of_Destiny and have wanted to write my own version of it for a long time, so here we are I guess. Obviously there will be similarities, however, there will also be a fair amount of differences. It is my own version of the story after all, and I will be telling it in my own way, with new relationships and events, etc.
I have a Facebook group called Maraudering_Paige which each and every one of you are welcome to join. It is where we can talk about Harry Potter, fanfictions, life, share memes, and more. It is also where, when I am able, I will be posting a sort of update schedule and will be sharing with you what I am working on and such, both original projects and fanfics. I will accept anyone who would like to join, so feel free to come along.
I hope you are all having an amazing day!
Kind regards,
Paige xx