A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this is late. No matter how short, family trips do not work in anyone's favour. x.X; And the night before, the site was down for some dumb reason. Hmph. WELL. Anyway. FIC!

I'll disclaim it again, but I think it's kinda dumb, because how likely is it that Nomura writes fanfiction? (It would be really cool, though)

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Xaldin swore under his breath. "The Superior's gonna kill me if I don't find Xigbar!" Xaldin had never been so nervous in all his life. He didn't want to die either. He hadn't found that special someone yet! Or finished his novel, more importantly. What's in that novel, you ask? I do not know. Anyway. Xaldin had to find Xigbar. What would happen if he was too late is not a pretty thought.

He fast-walked through a good portion of the park, getting lost in the process. Generally, this is where he'd 'ride the wind,' but since there were humans who would think he's some alien freak in the park like a disease, he decided it's in his best interest to not wind up like the X-Men.

Somewhere in an alternate universe, Wolverine hissed and called Larxene and her nifty daggers a wannabe.

Thankfully, he found some dude wearing a Sea World shirt, and ran up to him. "Excuse me, sir! Where do you keep the turtles? This is an emergency!"

"Say, aren't you that elf from earlier, who had a one-eyed friend with him...?" Ah, yes. The employee from chapter one was back.

"Yeah, and I lost him. God only knows what he'll do to your turtles. So where are they!"

"That way." The employee guy (checking his name tag, Xaldin found out his name was Herman) pointed in the direction Xaldin was headed in. "Head straight for a while, then make a right somewhere along there..."

"Thank you!" Xaldin continued his fast-walk. Yes, people stared at him. Yes, he didn't care. He had to save those turtles!

"So. What should we do now?" Marluxia pondered. Luxord was building a card pyramid while Larxene was stuffing her face with a hamburger. Ugh, how could she eat those things! They're so... disgusting! Marluxia watched Larxene pig out in utter disgust. Not only was she eating meat, but she was eating it like a caveman. Marluxia, being the nature fanatic that he was, could not loathe the idea of eating meat any more.

"Dunno. Hey, Larxene! Don't you DARE touch my cards!" Luxord slapped her hand away from his pyramid, which was pretty good, considering Luxord had no artistic talent whatsoever.

"HEY, didn't your mommy ever teach you not to hit girls!" Larxene snapped. In her frustration, she took a nice long sip of her soda. Marluxia mirrored her movements and took a sip of his own. What a day. Being stuck with an apparently NOT PMSing Larxene was not fun. And he hated roller coasters. That... that thing ruined his hair! Oh, and he slaved over it for so long, too! The wind gave it tons of knots and split ends, while the water... ohhh, don't get Marluxia started!

"Let's go watch that pet show thingy," he suggested, avoiding eye contact with Larxene's burger, as well as trying to sound cheerful.

Luxord twitched and his pyramid fell into ruins. "Oh hell no."

"Okay guys, I think you've bought enough shit," Axel commented, sipping his drink. He watched in boredom as Demyx and Roxas were finishing their smoothies. The author sighed and went out of her way to mention to say YES, Axel LOVED the sight of seeing Roxas sipping through a straw. There. Happy? His previous cookie theory did not go as planned; damn Sea World people, using frozen chocolate chips. Who the hell uses frozen chocolate chips anyway! Not only that, but Roxas and Demyx split the cookie in half; those things were bigger than Roxas' head, anyway.

Sighing, Axel suggested, "You guys wanna go see the Shamu show or something?" Smoothie bits came spurting out of Demyx's nostrils and onto the table, his cloak, as well as Axel's. "OMG OF COURSE I WANT TO GO!"

"...I did ask earlier. And how the hell did you manage to pronounce an anagram, in all caps, in dialouge...? And with out going 'oh em gee,' too! It just sounded like 'OHMIGAW.'"

"Shut up. I'm special. Riiiiiiiiiight. I knew that."

No, not special ed. Don't kick the puppy. Sssh.

Demyx could not wait. He loved Shamu. In fact, deep in his closet lay his secret collection of orca related toys and such. Postcards, plushies, novelty cups, you name it, he had it. Normally, Demyx would be rather shameless of his obsession, but he found it in his best interest to hide his stuff from Xigbar ever since Xigbar found a penguin plushie.

"Saïx?" Xemnas asked, a blush falling upon his tan face.

Saïx turned to face his boyfriend. "Yes, what is it?"

"I-I have something important to ask you..." Xemnas lifted his head up a bit, smiled gently, and his head fell back down to help his hands in the search of something in his pocket.

Oh my god, Saïx thought. For one thing, I sound like a freakin' teenage girl like this. Xigbar, too. Oh gods, I think he's reaching for a ring! Yes, yes, YES, YES! Saïx fought a blush that fell upon on his face as well.

While Saïx was still in his happy place, Xemnas dug out what he was searching for. He dug up a small note that said "KICK ME, MY NAME IS MANSEX" on it. Undoubtedly Xigbar's doing. Why is the author blaming everything on Xigbar, you ask? He's a clever little sneak if you know what I mean.

"Do you... do you think that my name is really Mansex?"

Saïx wanted to cry.

"'Cause I mean... everyone's calling me that now... Even Lexaeus and Vexen, and they're civilized! Tell me Saïx, do you think my name is Xemnas or Mansex? Because I totally didn't have to legally change my name to make it something more... appropriate for a Disney game."

Saïx happy place disappeared for all infinity. Poof! His happy place is now what we feeble humans call "hell."

"Xemnas. The show is starting." The elf pretended to be interested in the show, because now his mind and his (imaginary) heart were broken.

"But Saïx, I need to know...!"

Little did Xemnas know that Saïx was the one who figured out that if you rearrange "Xemnas" you get "Mansex."

"RUN FREE, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, RUN FREEEEEEEEE!" Xigbar cried, raising his hands over his heads. If he had began jumping around like an idiot, Xaldin wouldn't have been able whether he was doing jumping jacks, attempting to fly, or just looking like an idiot.

Xaldin ran up to the turtles' exhibit and found Xigbar standing on top of their glass cage (Kingdom Hearts II intro much?). "RUN FREE! DON'T EVER LET ANYONE CATCH YOU EVER AGAIN! GO HOME, TO THE OCEANS! TO THE DESERTS! TO... GODDAMMIT, GO BACK TO WHEREVER THE HELL YOU CAME FROM!"

Xaldin had oh so much fun raining on Xigbar's parade. The first thing he did was knock Xigbar on the head and knock him off of the glass thing.

"Eew, dude, not cool. There's salt water down there. And glass bits, and aw fuck," Xigbar spat out a shard of glass. "There's turtle crap too!"

"Your fault, dumbass. You released them. You deserve it."

"But I should have good karma for releasing my brothers and sisters!"

Xaldin bonked him again. Hey, this is fun! "What made you think you could free them anyway!"

Xigbar rubbed the growing lump on his head and spat out another glass shard. "Fuck, I'm bleedinggggg! Well, if I'm free to do as I please, surely my brothers and sisters should be too!"

Xaldin slapped Xigbar. Now I know why Larxene spends so much time in her torture chamber! This is great! "Xigbar, for the eighty trillionth time, you. Are. Not. Related. To. Turtles."

Xigbar pouted. "Am too!"

"You're never watching Finding Nemo again. I'm telling Axel to burn it. AND all the little toys of it you got at McDonalds."

"Hey – you're always the one who says to NOT encourage Axel and his burning stuff obsession! And you can't! Crash is my FAVOURITE LITTLE BROTHER EVERRRRR!"

The two elves paid no notice as the sea turtles continued dying because of a lack of water. Damn lazy employees. Too busy flirting with someone's mom to realize the turtles are in danger!

Xaldin slapped Xigbar again and grabbed his ear. "Maybe I'll get Zexion to brainwash you while you're at it... Maybe I'll make him make you sophisticated. Should've done that a long time ago."

"Ohhhhhh? Don't deny it. You like me as I am." Xaldin couldn't tell whether Xigbar was winking or just blinking. But since he was trying to sound all seductive and stuff, Xaldin thought it was safe (er... as safe as it can get) to assume that Xigbar was winking. And for the first time in his non-existent life, Xaldin blushed. "W-whatever. You're still going to be punished for this. I will make sure Saïx sees to it."

The author totally just realized that she ruined a perfect opportunity to switch to the next group and banged her head on her desk repetitively. Hey, cool! Blood! The reader than turned their heads to little red 'x' button at the very top right corner of the screen...

"What do you think of this one, Vexen?"

"Repulsive."

"And this one?"

"It looks like something shit in its face and then shaved it and fed its remains to a dog."

Lexaeus sighed. Who would've thought Vexen, who he practically idolized, was so immature? And when it comes to animals no less! He was a scientist; why did he hate animals so much? He was disappointed in Zexion, his best friend, as well.

Speaking of which. "Zexion, get back here!"

"Why should I? This place is for little kids, Lexaeus. Come on, I know you crave for something more exciting too."

The author resisted the urge to say 'Lexaeus sighed.' Because for once, he didn't. He shook his head. Oooh, beat that. "We'll get ice cream after this."

Zexion, as talkative as he was, kept his mouth shut for a while. Funny how the master manipulator is also the most easily manipulated.

"Oh yay, I'm SO EXCITED!" Demyx squealed, looking for a camera. "I LOVE the Shamu show!"

"Who would've thought," Axel moaned. He should've counted his blessings; Demyx fangir—I mean, fanboying over things was normal. Roxas and Demyx abusing his wallet was not. Either way, he didn't win. Damn. Demyx was trickier than he thought. Zexion had taught him well.

"C'mon guys, the stadium's right here. Let's get good seats," Roxas said. Wow, Roxas can talk! The author is very proud of herself since this is so not the first time Roxas speaks in this chapter.

"Why can't we just teleport into the stadium, dammittttttttt?"

"Quit whining, Axel! We can't; people might think we're freaks."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Roxas, when was the last time you looked at my hair? They already think we're freaks."

"No, they just think you're a freak."

"You look like a freakin' ninja. You don't think people don't stare at you when we go out?"

"Guys, guys, save it for the honeymoon, please!" Demyx coaxed. Axel fumed.

"You are so lucky that ROXAS is the one telling me to stop, otherwise you'd look like my cooking."

"Oh? So you admit to sucking at cooking!"

"Hey, can it! Your Lucky Charm Surprise isn't exactly the greatest meal of my life either, you know!"

"Guys please stop fighting! The out of character-ness hurts!"

"Whatever. Let's just get into the fucking stadium already."

"A-aa-aaCHOO! I (achoo) HATE you Marluxia!" said – nope, not Larxene, Luxord. "I told you I did not want to come here."

"Eh, we have time to kill," the Graceful Assassin shrugged. A sprinkler went off. "MY HAIR! Ohhh, that thing is so dead! Larxeneeee, do you have a comb?" Marluxia glared at the little circus freaks known as performers and shook his fist.

"Only if you have some tissues! Ew, Luxord, stop sneezing on me!"

"Blame (achoo) Pinkhead! He dragged (achoo) us here, even though he (achoo) KNOWS I'm allergic to dogs!" Luxord snapped. "WHY CAN'T WE GO HOME YET!"

"Um... cheer up... emo kid?" Marluxia suggested nervously.

"Once we get out of here, you are so dead Flowerboy." Another sneeze. More mucus and gross stuff that I will not go into details about fell onto Larxene. "You too, Cardboy."

"I know," Marluxia gulped. Luxord nodded.

"Why are we here again, Lexaeus?" Vexen inquired, tapping his foot; he did not like standing in lines.

"I promised Zexion we'd get ice cream if he didn't run off... and, well, everyone loves Dip n' Dots."

"Not me," Vexen muttered.

GASP! thought the reader. How can anyone possibly hate Dip n' Dots! The author nodded and added randomly, "it should be illegal, or something!"

"Lexaeus."

"Zexion." The glaring contest was on. Lexaeus looked down at the shorter man, who was as unamused as ever.

"...Give me my munny back."

"Why should I listen to you? I am your superior, after all." Lexaeus was stubborn and Zexion didn't like it. Out of the entire Organization, Lexaeus (and Axel, being a manipulator as well) was the most difficult to influence.

"Then I can run off again!" Zexion unleashed his pouty face. Lexaeus knew where Roxas got his from; the resemblance was obvious (the two were pretty good friends, after all). He laughed lightly. "Then you won't get your ice cream."

"...I hate you, Lexaeus..." Zexion loved his ice cream. A lot. And well, the fact that Roxas, being the emo kid he was, ate all of his ice cream did not help. He had been deprived of ice cream for the past few months. He needed to have some ice cream badly.

"FINALLY. We're next," Vexen sighed. "Zexion, what do you want?"

"...SINCE WHEN DID YOU BECOME AN ADULT AGAIN!" Lexaeus interrogated, eyes wide open. Vexen shrugged. "Since I felt like it. And since you stopped acting like one." Lexaeus facepalm'd and shook his head.

"So, Demyx," Axel grinned suspiciously. "Which is it?"

"Which is what?"

"Which is your hair?"

"What...? It would really help if you would give me the choices."

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean! Is it a mullet or a mohawk?"

"It's... both."

"No!" Roxas interrupted. "It has to be one or the other... it just has to!"

Demyx shrugged. "It's whichever... you guys think it is. Or want to think."

"Dude, it's your hair. So tell us which do you think it is: a mullet or a mohawk, Demyx?"

"Oh, that's easy. I think it's a—"

"Welcome one, welcome all to the world famous Shamu show, everyone!"

"Well. That was... stupid." Xemnas sighed. The clown show was over.

"Seaweed men?" Saïx scoffed. "What was with that? I mean, Pirates of the Caribbean (two) made them look... good-ish... but that... That was just... UGH!"

"I hear the dolphins' and the Shamu shows are starting soon. Wanna go see either?"

"Mmmm... I remember hearing from someone, back when I still had a heart, that the dolphins' show is better, and you get wetter. It's way too hot. Let's go see that."

Xemnas grinned deviously, resisted doing a Mr. Burns impression, and the two set off.

Luxord was recovering from his allergies. Which is good. Yes, it is. Hush you. "Where do we go now?" he asked. Weird, wasn't he supposed to be the leader of their group?

"Er... I hear a Shamu show's starting soon."

"We are not sitting in the soak zone," Larxene hissed. She didn't like water, not at all. Naturally, she didn't like Demyx, either.

...How can anyone not like Demyx!

Errr... Yes. Back to the story.

"Well," Marluxia said, attempting to sound optimistic. "She didn't refuse we go to the show!" He laughed nervously.

"I hate you, I hope you know," Xigbar moaned. Xaldin was still dragging him by the ear. "Why can't you trust me? Or at least let me go, man!"

"Why should I care if you hate me?" Xaldin shrugged. Xigbar was a real pain in the ass. A sexy one, though... No! Stop thinking like that, Xaldin! The sane part of Xaldin's brain (hey, I want one!) mentally slapped him. You are not attracted to your superior. You are not attracted to other elves. You are not attracted to surfers or pirates; you are attracted to SANE people. Sane is good. You are not attracted to XIGBAR of all people! How can someone say that? No one can deny Xigbar's hotness. "And I'm not letting you go. Hey, keeping my arm bent back like this isn't exactly comfortable for me, you know. Believe me, I would love to let you go, but you're not exactly trustworthy."

Xigbar grunted. "I am too trustworthy!"

"Let's just get the fuck out of here. Want to go watch a show or something...?"

Xigbar pouted.

"I hear in the Shamu, the trainers ride the whales like a surfer."

Xigbar beamed.

"Hey, Demyx, which is it? Seriously man...?"

"Demyx? Where are you?" Roxas asked, looking around.

"Shit, he's not next to me, and he's not next to you! We are so fucking screwed," Axel murmured.

A/N, again: Nyahahaha. I so do not have a fetish for Organization members randomly disappearing. Heehee. Anyway! Where on Earth could Demyx have gone? Will Xigbar behave? HOW THE HELL CAN LARXENE HATE DEMYX! When will the author start the next, and probably final, chapter! Gasp! All of these not-so suspensful questions will be answered next chapter!

As always, reviews are encouraged. :3 I will give you... um... naked bishounen? Yes, that's good.