Jen: (in British accent) 'Ello, and welcome to Chapter Four of A Little too Personal. I am your hostess Jen813. Please sit tight as I babble on about how I do not own Teen Titans.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. But I will someday. I WILL SOMEDAY! Sigh, who am I kidding?
And…here is chapter four:
Assistants Take Action
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With a sigh and a head shake at Robin, Alyssa returned to her seat and everyone resumed eating dinner.
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Beast Boy was sleeping soundly when:
"GET UP! YOU LITTLE MAGGOT!"
A whistle blew as a very dazed Beast Boy fell out of his bed. He looked up to see Emily dressed in a camouflage outfit, complete with army boots.
"Ugh…what…time is it?" Beast Boy asked.
"Time to GET BACK INTO REALITY! YOU WORTHLESS GRASS STAIN!"
B.B. stood up, "Well, you don't have to call names."
"Just for that little remark…I want you at attention when I am talking to you!" Emily yelled.
The shape-shifter put his feet together.
"Right." She said, "Now, just for that little remark you're gonna do laps around this tower until you have made a permanent dent in the floor!"
"Jeez." Beast Boy said, "Miss Moody."
"MOVE!"
Beast Boy did as he was told without hesitation.
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Robin woke up to the blurry image of Alyssa hovering over him.
"Get UP!"
Robin's heroic-ness kicked in and he sat straight up, "Why? What happened?"
Alyssa held up a clipboard, "We are four minutes behind schedule!"
"Right. You get the Titans and I'll…" Robin stopped, "Wait, we're what?"
"Behind schedule!" Alyssa cried, "It is my first day on the job and I will have no slacking off! Hurry! Brush your teeth and take a shower!"
"Alyssa, you're supposed to assist me." Robin said, "Not wake me up at all hours of the night and…"
"Robin! It's 6:09!" Alyssa glanced at her watch, "No! 6:10! We're five minutes behind schedule!"
"Let me see that!" Robin said, grabbing the clipboard. It read:
Agenda
6:00AM-6:05AM wake up/brush teeth
6:05-6:25AM shower
6:25-7:30AM morning workout
7:30-8:00AM free time
8:00-8:30AM cook breakfast
8:30-8:50AM eat breakfast/mingle
8:50-9:25AM Starfire time
9:25-10:25AM work on image w/ Emily
Robin stopped reading, "What's that?" He pointed to the 8:50-9:25 time slot.
"Oh, Starfire time? I wasn't sure if thirty-five minutes was enough, but the rest of your schedule was very tight and…"
"No. What do I do when it's Starfire time?"
Alyssa blushed, "Well…Robin, you…uh, you do what…um, you do what you would normally do."
"What?" Robin said, "Why would you…"
"I did not think you would be so angry, Robin." Alyssa said, "I was simply allowing you time alone with your girlfriend."
"SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
"Goodness." Alyssa said, "There's no need to yell. Besides, I have spoken with Michel and…though it took much persuading…he has agreed to leave you and Starfire alone during that time to…do whatever it is you may do."
Robin sweat dropped.
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Cyborg yawned, "What time is it?"
"Ah, 'bout eight thirty." Came Boris' voice.
Cyborg got up and stretched, "Oh. You want some breakfast?"
"Sure."
The two left in an awkward silence, headed towards the kitchen.
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Raven slowly opened her eyes. She sat up.
Phew, she wasn't in here.
Raven was hoping to make it to breakfast with out Bambi annoying the heck out of her.
After showering and dressing, Raven grabbed one of her Poe books. She was starting to read one of his short stories entitled, "The Pit and the Pendulum."
She slid the door open and jumped back when she heard the overly perky voice.
"Oh, Raaaavie!" Bambi said, "C'mon, you need to eat a healthy breakfast if you want to stay, like, healthy!"
Raven groaned as Bambi dragged her out of her room.
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Starfie felt someone tickle her sides. She sat up laughing to see Mike's cool face.
"Get up." He said, "You need to eat."
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All the Titans and assistants (save Beast Boy because he was running laps around the tower and Emily who was following him) met at the breakfast table. Robin put a huge plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit, and pancakes drenched in syrup on the table.
Bambi's eyes widened in terror, "Noooo!" She screamed and dove on the food to keep them from eating it. She glared at Robin, "What are you, like, trying to do, poison us!"
"It was just breakfast." Robin said.
"Just, like, breakfast!" Bambi yelled, "Do you, like, have any idea how much, like, calories and saturated fat is in one of your grease-covered bacon strips!" She paused, "Too much!"
Everyone gaped at her.
Bambi got of the food and took it of the table. She walked into the kitchen, "I'll fix you, like, a proper breakfast." With that, she went to work.
An alarmed Alyssa looked at her watch, "Please hurry up, Bambi! We're already behind schedule!"
"God, don't, like, have a cow."
"I beg your pardon!"
"So," Robin interrupted, "On my schedule it said we were going to work on image today."
"Where are Emily and Beast Boy?" Starfire asked.
As if on cue, the doors slid open and Beast Boy, followed by Emily, came running through the them.
"YOU CALL THAT RUNNING!" She was shouting, "MY GRANDMA RUNS FASTER!"
"Emily!" Alyssa called, "Emily!"
Emily stopped, "PRIVATE!"
Beast Boy stopped as well, "YES MA'AM?"
"ATTENTION!"
Beast Boy's feet instantly went together.
"DISMISSED!"
Beast Boy fell to the ground panting, "What a workout." He muttered.
"What did you want, Alyssa?" Emily asked sweetly.
"What time are we going to work on the Titans' image?" Alyssa answered.
"Oh…uh, I suppose right after breakfast."
"Who are we working on first?"
"I actually wanted to do Raven first, you know, get the hard work over with?" Emily said.
"What?" Raven asked, "I'm not changing my image."
"Of course you're not." Emily spoke as if Raven was a little child, "I was thinking of adding more color to her wardrobe."
"Well, of course." Alyssa said, "But if we add color there, we'll have to take away from somewhere else. I was thought we might want to dye her hair black."
"No!" Raven said, "You're not touching my hair or my clothes."
"Breakfast is, like, served!" Bambi happily dropped five plates in front of the Titans.
On each plate was a brown-orange, gel-filled pill, coated in peanut butter.
"Uh…" Cyborg said, "Where's the meat?"
Bambi looked at him and laughed, "Meat? No, no, no. Peanut butter has, like, just as much protein, without the fat."
"What's in the pill?" Beast Boy asked.
"Fish oil." Bambi answered as if it was the most normal thing on the planet.
Beast Boy's face would have turned green if it wasn't already.
"What about our food." Mike said.
"Oh…the assistants can, like, just fix up whatever." Bambi said, "Their diet is not my problem."
"Good enough for me." Mike said as he hurried into the kitchen to devour what Robin had made.
All the assistants except for Bambi followed, "Enjoy." She said.
"Wait!" Cyborg yelled desperately, "This is all we get for breakfast?"
"It's all you need!" Bambi gave a wave and joined the other assistants.
Cyborg slumped in his seat, "That little lady and me are gonna have a problem."
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Raven couldn't believe Emily and Alyssa had actually convinced her to let them change her image. Well, she was paying for it now. She had just stood in the middle of a room for twenty minutes while Emily circled her like a shark and Alyssa stood shaking her head as if Raven was a near impossible task to take on.
Emily finally stopped and produced a clipboard from out of nowhere, "New clothes." She said out loud as she scribbled down what she wanted, "Goth…not preppy…no yellow." She resumed circling.
"That's it?" Raven said in disbelief, "You circle me for Azar knows how long and all you get from it is that you shouldn't put me in yellow!"
"Yes." Emily's face lit up, "I've got it!" She turned to face Alyssa, "What do you think of an…Avril Lavigne look?" Emily closed her eyes, as if she could already see it, "You know, like a ballerina-punk?"
"Ballerina!" Raven yelled. Something broke.
Alyssa shook her head slowly, "I don't know. You're talking all black?"
"Of course."
"I don't think that would work with her complexion." Alyssa said, "You look at Avril Lavigne and what do you see? A fair-skinned girl with light hair. Raven…"
Alyssa was interrupted by a knock at the door.
"Come in." Emily said.
An angry looking Cyborg stormed in. He lifted up Beast Boy, who looked terrified beyond all belief, and tossed him at Emily's feet.
"Next time you want to go around randomly pushing buttons, STAY AWAY FROM THE T-SHIP!" Cy yelled and left.
"Uh…" BB said, "Do you mind if I stay in here for awhile?"
"Not at all." Emily said.
"I mind!" Raven said.
'Why do I mind?'
"Nonsense, Raven." Alyssa stated, "I'm sure Beast Boy will be honored to give us his opinion." She looked at Emily, "Now as I was saying, Raven's skin is more of a gray color."
"I wouldn't say gray…" Emily argued.
"What do you mean? It's gray!" Alyssa wrinkled her nose, "It's a sad, gloomy, ugly, gray color and I'm saying that all black would be entirely too depressing."
Raven blushed. She had never thought that she was ugly. Not beautiful, she knew, but…ugly?
"And with the purple eyes?" Alyssa continued, "Black could work with that, but the violet hair? Never."
"Hmmm." Emily stroked her chin thoughtfully, "I guess so. The violet hair is a bit much, isn't it? It doesn't really even work with what she's wearing now."
Raven slumped a little. Was her hair that bad? Did her clothes not match? Raven glanced at Beast Boy. His brows were furrowed as if he was thinking very hard. Raven almost gasped out loud. Did he think she was ugly?
"And the cape!" Alyssa said disgustedly, "The cape has got to go."
"Well, duh!" Emily cried, "We haven't gotten any further! We know she's in horrible clothes and looks like she just got worked on by a monster movie make-up artist, but we still don't know what we're going to do about it!"
Gee, that made Raven feel better. You know what? Who cares that she had no taste in clothes and was ugly? Not her, that's who! Fashion was pointless, anyway, when everyone died in the end. Everything was pointless, right? No one gets out of life alive so why should she care what other people thought of her? Maybe Beast Boy thought she was ugly. So what? It was so pointless to even consider thinking about that she wouldn't waist another minute on it!
"I don't know about that." Beast Boy said, "I mean…she doesn't look that bad."
"What, are you blind?" Emily asked, "She looks awful!"
"No!" He said stubbornly, "You said you wanted my opinion, right? Well…well, I think she looks…nice."
"Nice." Raven stated as if it was an insult, "Now there's the compliment of the century."
"Hey, I'm on your side!"
"I don't need you on my side!" Raven shot back.
"Look, I'm trying to help you!" Beast Boy was frustrated, "Is it so offensive that I think you're pretty!"
Raven was about to retort when she paused to think about what he said, "Pretty?"
"What? No! I said…"
"You said you think I'm…pretty, but before you said I just looked nice." Raven shot an inquiring look his way, "Why?"
"Because…because…" Beast Boy didn't feel like elaborating.
Raven gave a slight smile as he tried to gather his thoughts.
Beast Boy couldn't let her know that he actually thought she was pretty. Raven wasn't into that mushy stuff, right? "I…misspoke."
The smile disappeared, "Oh." Raven thought she would be angry if anyone ever said something like that, but she wasn't. She really didn't feel anything. It was like she was…numb, "I'm done with this." She said emotionlessly, "My image stays the same."
Emily and Alyssa didn't even get a chance to argue with the Goth girl before she nearly ran out the door.
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Thirty-five minutes earlier, Alyssa was shoving Robin into the living room where he was to have Starfire time with none other than Starfire.
"I told you, she's not my girlfriend!"
"Oh, be quiet Robin!" Alyssa said tiredly as she literally pushed Robin through the doors, "Girlfriend or not, you still like to spend time with her."
"But…"
"But nothing! Oh, Robin!"
"What?"
"Would it kill you to find a decent hairdo!"
Alyssa looked around the room, not seeing Starfire or Mike.
"So…" Robin said, "If this is Starfire time, where's Starfire?"
"Take a wild guess." Alyssa switched on the TV to reveal a view one got from looking through one of the security cameras.
"WITH MIKE!"
"Yes."
Mike's face was inches from Star's as he whispered soft things into her ear. They were just outside the living room.
"He really has no right to do that!" Alyssa said, "Especially during Starfire time! Honestly! I swear if it wasn't completely uncivilized I'd…where are you going?"
Robin answered by merely growling.
Alyssa listened to what Mike was saying for a moment, "Robin wait! Listen."
Robin stopped fuming long enough to hear Mike compliment Starfire.
"You know you're very hot." He said.
"I am…warm?"
"And I think we should, you know, hook up." Mike continued.
Robin's teeth gritted together.
"I am sorry. What is hooking up?" Starfire asked.
Mike sort of half laughed, leaned in really close to her ear, and whispered something inaudible.
Robin was surprised to see Starfire's hand come in quick contact with Mike's cheek. She had slapped him. Ha! Serves him right.
"I do not wish to partake in anything of that manner!" She said, "Please do not ask again!"
Alyssa turned the screen off as Starfire walked in as if nothing had happened and Mike stomped in rubbing the side of his face.
Robin smiled at her, "Hi."
"Hi." She said.
Alyssa tapped her foot, "Well?"
"Well what?" Mike removed his hand revealing a red mark that looked remarkably like a hand.
"You're late."
"Sue me." Mike said, "We have to leave them alone, anyway." He grinned in the way he had been grinning at Star a few moments ago, "In fact, we should discuss this legal matter over dinner."
Alyssa scoffed, "I'd rather dive into piranha infested waters dressed as a meatloaf."
"I'll take that as a yes." Mike grabbed her forearm and hastily pulled her out of the room.
"Unhand me you horrid, lazy, incompetent poser!" Alyssa managed to get out before the sliding doors shut, leaving Starfire and Robin alone.
"Robin! Make haste!" Starfire cried, "We must save Alyssa from…"
"Star, it's okay." Robin said, "Trust me. Alyssa can take care of herself."
"Alright." She paused, "Um, Robin?…What are we to do in this so called 'Bird Boy time'?"
"Bird Boy time?"
"That is…what Mike addressed it as."
Robin muttered a few dark things under his breath.
"Robin?"
"Yeah?"
"Might you like to go on the roof?"
Robin smiled, "That sounds good."
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Robin and Starfire could've talked for hours, but a very annoyed Alyssa and a Mike who now had two slap marks on his face came and broke them up.
"Come on," Alyssa said, "It's time to work on your image. We are already late!"
Robin smiled and gave Starfire a wave before Alyssa successfully shoved him into the image room, as it has been come to be called.
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Cyborg took a wrench from the toolbox, "How long do you think it'll take to fix the T-ship?"
Boris thought about it for a moment, "I'd estimate about…wow, a few days. Damage is pretty extensive."
Cyborg shook his head, "What kind of an idiot presses a big red button marked 'Do Not Push Unless Doors Are Open' while the doors are closed and not expect to get in trouble for it? Don't get me wrong, I love the little guy, but BB can be so thick-headed sometimes."
"Yeah."
"He's still cool though." Cyborg continued, "Robin…now there's a guy who's uncool."
"Yeah."
"Who does he think he is, anyway? Gets all obsessive over Slade and won't let me get a disco ball and lights!"
"Yeah."
"And how rude that guy can be sometimes!" Cyborg put the wrench down and got a screwdriver, "Especially to Star. Always slamin' doors in her face, amazing to me how she can still have a crush on him."
"Yeah."
"Starfire, there's the sweetest girl I've ever met." Cyborg whistled, "Never gives up. Will keep on fighting 'til she just can't fight no mo'."
"Yeah."
"Star even tried to be friends with Raven…and did it!" Cy wiped some sweat off his forehead, "Man, and those two are polar opposites! Raven's real unemotional, ya know? But at the same time she gets stuff. You could go to her and ask her for advice 'bout something really embarrassing and she would actually give it to you. Wouldn't laugh or anything."
"Yeah."
"You ever heard of the Titans East?"
"Yeah." Boris said.
"Well, their leader, Bumble Bee, now there's a pest!" Cyborg had stopped working and faced Boris, "She thinks she's so cute callin' me Sparky and bein' all…all…Bumble Bee-y, ya know?"
"Yeah."
"She talks like she can control you!" Cyborg sighed, "Man, she's beautiful, though."
For the first time since he arrived Boris smiled, "You like her?"
Cyborg, being the only member of the team mature enough to admit his feelings, answered truthfully, "Yeah." He kind of laughed, "A lot."
"Why?"
Cy had to think for a moment, "I think…I think it's because she's so...I don't know how to explain it, but…the Titans have lived together for two years now. Starfire's too nice and Raven's too…Raven. Bee is…"
"A nice break?"
"No." Cyborg said sternly, "Bee is perfect."
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"No, no, no, no." Alyssa said rather angrily, "You can't put Robin in purple because it is too much like Raven!"
"But Raven wears navy blue!" Emily argued.
"I know! Her hair, however, is what color again?" Alyssa put on a dumb look, "Oh, yes. PURPLE!"
If Robin didn't do something quick, there was going to be a catfight.
"What," Robin said, "exactly, is my image going to be?"
Alyssa smiled excitedly and Emily spoke, "Robin," She giggled, "We plan to make you the hottest guy in Jump City!"
Beast Boy, who was seated on the ground because he had nothing better to do than watch the Titans get makeovers, laughed, "Robin! Hot? That's a good one!"
"We're serious BB." Emily said, "Robin will be the good-looking leader, Starfire is gonna be the cute girlie-girl that all guys like, and Cyborg will go gangsta!"
"What about me and Raven?" Beast Boy asked.
"Raven…we'll figure that out later, and you…you are gonna be not-so-good-looking funny guy." Emily giggled, "The one in clothes that almost match and the one who can never be truly serious."
"Hey!" BB protested, "I can be serious!"
Emily answered by merely giggling again, "Riiiight." She faced Robin, "Hmmm…how about we go for a," Emily paused and put her hands together to gather her thoughts, "bad good-boy look?"
Alyssa looked Robin up and down, "I suppose if we dressed him in some darker colors…"
"…and got ride of the circus sideshow look…" Emily said.
"…WE COULD MAKE HIM THE COOLEST SUPER HERO EVER!" Both girls squealed.
Robin looked around nervously as Alyssa and Emily came at him with bloodthirsty looks…
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Jen: Bwa ha ha! Cliffhanger! What will Robin look like after the girls are done with him? Will Mike succeed in winning Starfire's heart (or at least her body)? Should Bambi die because she's waaay to preppie? I think we all know the answer to that one…Review!