Sam's eyes shot open as he heard the door open quietly. Ainsley sighed, seeing she woke him up.
"Hi." she said quietly, shutting the door.
"Hey." Sam rubbed his eyes as he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. "What time is it?"
"Almost eleven. I was worried you... I don't know." Ainsley sat down next to him on the bed and reached for his hand. "We were up pretty late so I'm not surprised."
Sam adverted Ainsley's eyes, embarrassment written all over his face.
"Sam,"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
Sam began to nod, but hesitated and shook his head as he leaned back against the headboard, closing his eyes slowly.
"Mariana is downstairs."
"Just what I needed to hear." Sam muttered. Ainsley moved up next to him and pulled him to her, rubbing his back as she held him. "I don't want to go today."
"We have to."
"I know but that still doesn't mean I want to."
"I know."
"What time do we have to leave?"
"1:30."
"I better get moving then." Sam said, making Ainsley nod. "Where's Gracie?"
"On the phone with Ben." she replied, making Sam roll his eyes. "I'll leave you to get ready but I expect you downstairs."
Sam just nodded and Ainsley kissed him lightly, then got off the bed and left the room. Sam sighed and sat there for a minute, then got out of bed, dreading what the next few hours would bring.
---------------TWW------------
When Sam came downstairs about an hour later, the first person he ran into was Mariana.
"Hi." she stared down at the floor, not looking up at her brother. Sam glanced around, then mumbled a hello. "Do you know where the bathroom is?"
"Upstairs, second door on the left."
"Thanks." Mariana brushed past Sam and disappeared upstairs. He ran a hand through his hair and entered the kitchen.
"Where is everyone?" Sam asked. Ainsley looked up and gave him a smile.
"Gracie is outside playing catch with Liz and Andy and Brad and Sarah are getting ready."
"Were you talking with Mariana?"
"Yes I was."
"Oh." Sam walked over to the counter and grabbed a cup of coffee. He paused, hearing the radio going and Ainsley glanced at him.
"Problem?"
"No." Sam sat down at the table and rubbed his eyes, yawning quietly. "What time did we fall asleep last night?"
"It was close to three I think. You got a lot off your chest."
"This song was playing when my mother called me."
"What?" Ainsley stared at Sam, a confused look on her face.
"When she called me, telling me about him and Olivia, this song was playing on the radio."
"How do you—"
"And it was playing when I slept in Toby's office. It came on when the alarm clock went off." Sam said quietly. He smirked, making a quiet noise. "Story of my life."
"Sam, I don't know what you want me to say to you." Ainsley said.
"I don't know either."
"That doesn't help."
"Yeah I know."
"Sam,"
"I'll be fine."
"You seemed a little better when we went to bed. Maybe we should talk more often."
"We probably talk more than most couples do."
"Probably but it wouldn't hurt to do it a little more." Ainsley said. Sam looked up and stared at her but she gave him a sweet smile. "I mean on personal things. You don't always have to keep things bottled up. I'm here and I understand. I do have ears Sam. I can listen. And I have a mouth as well."
"I am very well aware of that." he said. "But I'm fine. We don't need to talk about it anymore."
"I'm just saying."
---------------------TWW-------------------
Ainsley began to walk away after the funeral was over and was halfway to the car when she realized Sam wasn't with her. She stopped walking, making Gracie stop and look at her.
"What?"
"Go ahead. I'll be right there. Okay?"
Gracie seemed skeptic but Ainsley gave her a look and the teenager stomped off. Ainsley turned around and headed back towards Sam, who was still sitting in front of his father's grave with a dazed look on his face.
"Honey,"
Sam jumped and turned to his right to look at Ainsley.
"What?"
"Everyone's leaving."
Sam looked around, a surprised look on his face to see many of the mourners had left the cemetery.
"Wow. Where the hell was I?"
"Sitting right there."
"Ah."
"Yes."
"Can I... you know, have a few minutes... alone?"
Ainsley stared at Sam for a second and he stared back at her.
"Yeah, sure! We'll be in the car." she turned and again, headed for the car, leaving Sam sitting there alone. He stared down at the grass and frowned, not really sure why he was sitting here by himself.
"I was a jackass." he said quietly. "I know I was but hey, you were stubborn too. Well, maybe not as much. You tried to talk to me about it and I had to act stupid and ignore you. And I know you uh... got that... letter from me and I just... I wish you had called me before, you know, you uh... anyway..."
Sam rubbed the back of his neck and glanced around, glad he was alone. That would make a great headline, the President of the United States sitting in front of a grave, talking to himself. The public would really love that.
"You don't, you don't know how horrible I feel now that you're... gone. Ainsley told me this would happen but I refuse to listen to her and God I wish I did. I... I'm sorry I guess. Everything just... it hurt. It hurt real bad. And I wish we had, we had been closer. But I guess that couldn't," Sam swallowed back tears and continued to talk, "that couldn't happen after your... affair came out. And... I know I didn't try to rebuild our relationship but you did and I wish you didn't give up on me. But knowing me I would have never have come around and you would've just been wasting your time. Then again, you always told me that you'd always be there when I needed you. Where were you last year when your granddaughter was missing and I nearly died?"
Sam let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes, his head bowed down so he was staring at the ground.
"And I just... I don't know how to react to all of this, even after all these years. One side of me wants to still be mad at you because of all the things that you caused and how you let me down. But the other side... I..." Sam bit his lip, pausing for a minute. "I blame myself. Everyone was right. I was just being stupid. Everyone else got over you and Olivia. I could too. I just refuse to. So I don't blame you for not wanting to be around me."
He stood up and quickly headed for the car, glad to be heading back to DC. He got into the car and sat down next to Ainsley. She reached over and rubbed his neck gently as he shut his eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.