Chapter 14: Muggle Safari
In the blink of an eye, it was time to go to Cypress. We left after class Thursday, after wishing Harry luck, of course. The Portkey was just outside the gates, and in a flash we were in the witch's haven of Scaliko. It was a bit dodgy, but that seemed fitting. We wasted no time getting to the boat. It was a Muggle cruise line run covertly by witches. All night long I puked my guts out, until Severus was able to sneak a potion down my throat between heaves. At three in the morning we arrived in Rashid and began to search for Bill.
Bill Weasley was standing by a jeep looking very anxious. "Ellie!" He saw me and waved happily. He helped Severus with our luggage and told me his bad news. "We were supposed to have an enchanted truck, but it broke down on the way here. This is all I could get. I have no idea how to operate it, though."
"No worries, I can drive. All that Muggle time must be worth something." I exclaimed and climbed into the driver's seat then started the engine. Bill hopped into the back, but Severus just stared at me. "Severus, get in the damn jeep." I scolded. "You forget I can do nearly everything. Stop acting like a git and climb in!"
Bill was laughing, but stopped as soon as Severus got in. "Buckle up, boys, this is gonna be fun!" I showed them how to fasten their seat belts and off we went.
Severus looked apprehensive at first but eventually looked pleased. "I haven't done this in ages. This reminds me of driving on the beach during spring break from college. How are you doing back there, Bill?" I called.
"Great, this is fun!" Bill answered.
"How many hours to Tura?" I asked.
"About three at this speed."
I accelerated. "We'll make it in just over two," I replied.
"Is that really necessary?" hissed Snape.
"You are in my world now. Try and enjoy it." I sang out.
OOOOOOOO
True to my word, as the sun began to rise in Africa we pulled into Tura. "How will you get on from here?" I asked Bill as we unloaded our things.
"I am Apparating back to the goblins. I'll be fine." He hugged me. "Be very careful, the three of you," he said as he patted my belly. We assured him we would and then he left us.
Severus hugged and kissed me. "Well, this is it," he whispered. As we were kissing…
"Chokey! Hey, Chokey!" I heard Rob call out. Severus and I stopped kissing but held on to each other. Snape wanted to see who was addressing me in such a manor.
Severus whispered under his breath, "Chokey and Tokey… save us all."
"You're pregnant! I see how you two are; making out in public! Ellie!" Rob held out his arms and I ran to him.
"Rob, oh I missed you! You look great!" We pecked on the lips. "Come and meet my husband!"
"The man who captured Kinsington!" Rob joked happily as he shook Snape's hand. "Wait a minute, is this him? The one you always talked about when we were high? The one you said you were madly in love with?" he asked excitedly, a dawn of recognition rising on his face.
"The one and only. Rob Milner, this is my husband, Severus Snape."
"I knew it! She talked about you like you were the prince from Sleeping Beauty, man. She had it bad for you." Rob chucked Severus on the shoulder.
"Well," Severus mumbled, looking at me, "I 'had it bad for her' as well."
"The two of you are perfect! God, Ellie, I love this guy!"
"I knew you would, Tokey. Oh, how I've I missed you!" I squealed and I hugged the two of them together.
Severus seemed more comfortable than I had seen him in ages. "Milner, is there anything to eat?" he asked.
Rob smiled and replied, "I always loved that accent. Yeah, grubs cooking on the campfire. Come on."
"I like this Milner," Snape began. "I believe we can indeed place our trust in him." I squeezed his hand. "So, you spoke of me to him in college?"
"I loved you so much, Severus. I could hardly think of anything else."
"I love you more everyday, Chokey," he growled, which made me laugh. "Everyday."
OOOOOOO
We sat on the ground around the campfire eating our eggs and bacon catching up. We told all our old stories of parties and studies.
"Hey, Snape, did Ellie ever tell you about the trip we took to Florida for spring break?"
"No. I believe it involved my wife and three men," he spat.
"Yep, that's the one!" confirmed Rob. "It was so much fun! I think you would get a kick out of it."
"Hm…do tell," Snape said sarcastically.
"Rob, he doesn't want to hear about it."
"Come on…it's a good story!" whined Rob.
"Fine," spat Snape, "but I reserve the right to stop you at any time."
"That's cool," agreed Rob. "Well…we were twenty one and our third year of college when it happened…"
Thank gods, spring break is finally here!
Midterm exams had been quite a bitch. Usually I was content to remain in the dorms during any sort of holiday, but this year I decided to go somewhere warm where I could drink myself into oblivion. Key West was the destination I had chosen and, for some inane reason, I decided to suffer through a 28 hour car ride with a German, Rob Milner, and a boy who looked angry even when he was happy. The aforementioned German was in my Organic Chemistry lab and the angry boy was his friend. Lutz, the German, was the very best party animal Harvard had to offer. The angry boy, whose real name was Keith, was called 'Captain' -- apparently due to his fondness for a certain variety of spiced rum.
There we were, just the four of us, piled into my beast of a car: the old Chevy Caprice. I called my car the 'S.S. Kinsington' because fitting it in a space was more like docking a boat than parking it. I took the first driving shift as we set off around six that Friday night in March. The German and Milner were in the back seat with a large cooler of terribly cheap, canned beer wedged between them. Captain was in the front passenger seat and had the job of scanning the radio and alternately putting in cassette tapes to keep the festive music flowing. All in all it was a pleasant journey. Had it not been for the fact that I had a cold and was in a Nyquil induced coma of sorts, it would have been wonderful.
We reached Fort Lauderdale around eight the next morning when I passed the responsibility of driving on to Captain. It was fitting: Captain in command of the S.S. Kinsington. With Captain in control, I took my seat in the back where Lutz had been and promptly cracked open a cold, bad beer. The combination of cold medicine and the very worst of American beer quickly had me in a state of drunken bliss and then drunken sleep.
I would have slept the entire way but when the wheels of the car began to screech, I was quickly jolted from my reverie.
"Son of a bitch!" yelled Captain.
"What the hell was that?" I asked.
"I almost hit an alligator!" Captain replied. "What the fuck, man?" Lutz was laughing hysterically but I was not amused. "Shut up you fucking bratwurst-essen, bier-trinken mistkerl!"
That I found funny. "Excellent command of the German language, Captain. Until about five minutes ago, I didn't even know you could speak English!" I laughed out.
"Reisigbuendelm," muttered Lutz.
Captain turned to me and asked, "What does that mean?"
"Keep your bloody eyes on the road!" I yelled. "I am fairly certain that he just called you a queer."
"Yep. That is what I said," confirmed Lutz.
"I get more pussy in a week than you got when you were coming out of your mother!" yelled Captain.
There was a collective 'Oooo' from the car before I slapped the back of Captain's head. "That was disgusting!"
Several hours and several insults to everyone's mothers later, we arrived at our accommodations in sunny Key West. The hotel was dodgy at best but that really didn't matter. Nearly every waking moment of our vacation was spent stumbling up and down Duval Street; crawling in and out of pubs and clubs.
"Stop right there," demanded Severus. "Were the two of you ever sober during your stay at college?"
Rob and I both laughed hysterically. "We were sober in class," informed Rob.
"I hate to interrupt, but when will the rest of the crew be joining us?" I asked.
"Our crew will meet us here in about four hours. We'll start out for the first site when night falls. It is way cooler and not as many people will be out. I pitched a tent for the two of you so you guys can get some shut-eye," explained Rob. "When are you due? You're not going to squat and spit out that kid in the desert are you?"
I laughed at the look on my husbands face at this suggestion. Snape was rather amused. "No, dumb ass! I am due in late April. I will manage just fine. You know how strong willed I am."
"Strong-willed? I'd say more like stubborn as a constipated mule!" fired Rob.
"Ha!" barked Severus. "How right you are! Milner, you seem to know her almost as well as I. Excellent!"
Rob and I burst out laughing and Severus did that odd laugh of his. "Severus, I have never seen you like this before! You are actually smiling and laughing in public." I was amazed.
"I told you, Ellie, I like this Milner," Snape reminded.
"I like you too, buddy!" admitted Rob happily as he and Severus toasted their coffees.
Next, they will hug and rollup a joint before they toss a football around. I'm so happy they like each other. This is getting fun!
"Tokey, if I could borrow my husband for a bit, we need to rest."
They looked like children who had just been called out of the play yard for dinner. He patted Severus on the back and said, "All right, but don't get too loud or you'll scare the camels." I rolled my eyes as Severus grinned and joined me.
I was fairly sure Severus had never gone camping before and was rather surprised at his reaction when he got into his sleeping bag. I got in mine beside him and we snuggled up. Just before we fell asleep I swear heard him say, "If I were a man who preferred the rod, I would gladly go with Milner."
OOOOOOOO
I woke up before Severus and joined Milner to meet our team. My back was killing me from sleeping on the ground and I feared I would have to find a solution to this problem immediately, as I was only going to get larger. My stomach wasn't really all that large for a woman nearly eight months pregnant, but I sure felt gigantic. Rob handed me some beef jerky and introduced me to our teammates.
First I met a young married couple, the grad students, Matt and Sarah Idle. He seemed nice enough. Matt Idle was a tall, skinny man with dirty blond hair and brown, horn rimmed glasses. His wife, Sarah, was a pretty petite brunette with perfectly manicured nails. I could tell she was pampered and I doubted she could survive out here. Her shoulder length hair was neatly styled and the dry winds kept fighting against her efforts to keep it in place. Prissy, high-maintenance women annoyed me to the core.
Next I met Micah Ephram, the hippy looking geologist. He was mellow. He had his long graying hair tied in a ponytail which got wispier as it went down the middle of his back. He had a very friendly smile through his bushy gray moustache. His friend from NYU, Phil Crouse was a historian writing a novel on archeological expeditions. Phil was a very handsome and muscular man in his forties with thick, blond hair and bright hazel eyes. Phil had a wife and three daughters. He missed them so much that almost every word out of his mouth was about something one of his girls had done recently.
The biology professor's name was Jonathan Johnson, and preferred to be called Doctor Johnny. Doctor Johnny had red hair and pale blue eyes that blinked more than normal. He had a bit of a twitch and constantly shuffled his feet. The most interesting member of the team would have to be Gilly Moffett, the Saudi archaeologist. She had gorgeous brown eyes that had flecks of green and shiny black hair cut short like a boy. Her tanned, olive skin was flawless and I thought she was stunning. Gilly had an English husband that lived in France who looked after their two sons while she traveled around the world making lots of money. She spoke perfect English and one would never guess she'd grown up in Saudi. I liked her at once and could tell she felt the same about me.
We were all eating, cleaning and loading rifles, and talking loudly when Severus emerged from our tent. What a sight we must have been. We looked like a bunch of AWOL soldiers preparing ourselves for Guerilla warfare. Gilly had a filter-less cigarette dangling from her bottom lip while she drank a beer and loaded her rifle simultaneously. My pregnant belly and I were aiming at an old bean can across the camp with a long sharp shooting rifle. My hair was in a high ponytail and I was wearing cargo khakis, an army green tank top, and an unbuttoned khaki shirt, with the arms rolled up to my elbows. My worn, brown hiking boots I had had since college completed the ensemble. Gilly and I alone were a sight to behold: rogue amazons.
I saw my husband and lowered my gun. "Sleep well?" I asked cheerily. Had I not been here on such pretenses, I would have been in heaven. Snape was eyeing me and my crew suspiciously.
"Excuse me, Madam, have you seen my wife? I believe I left her here somewhere?" he asked cordially. I laughed and gave him a large, wet kiss. "My wife will have your head for that, Madam."
"Snape, how's it going?" Rob asked as he took my gun and inspected it. "Have you met the gang?"
"I have not yet had the pleasure," Snape sneered as he surveyed the crowd. "That woman," he nodded at Sarah Idle, "is she in the right place?" Sarah was putting on lipstick while gazing in her hand mirror. Severus rolled his eyes. "That will not help, you know." I had to laugh.
"Oh, that's Sarah and the goofy looking guy next to her is her husband Matt," informed Rob. "She and Ellie already had words."
Confused, Severus asked, "Had words?"
"I simply explained that she might want to cut her nails before she starts digging in the sand and rocks," I informed. "Then there was the matter of the toilet," I spat.
"Ellie told her there wasn't one and called her 'princess.'" Rob chuckled. "That's our girl, eh, Snape?"
"Hm, my wife always has been…tactful," he replied sarcastically and curled his lip at me. I pecked him on his cheek. "What time is it?"
"Four. We'll be leaving in about three hours," I answered. "Severus, this is Gilly. Oy, Gilly!" I yelled, and then asked her in Arabic to come meet my husband.
"Hello, Severus, great to meet you!" she exclaimed enthusiastically as she shook his hand like a man. "Hell of a woman, your Ellie! I was pregnant on my first dig, you know. She's tough as nails and one hell of a sharp shooter to boot!"
"Really," he asked, looking at me suspiciously.
"Chokey could pick a pea off a cocktail fork from a mile away!" exaggerated Rob.
"Oh, please, Rob! Maybe a half mile." I winked.
Severus shook his head and replied, "She never ceases to amaze me. I had my reservations about leaving my very pregnant wife in the middle of nowhere, but now I see that I may have been misled." He then muttered quietly to me, "Nice outfit, dearest."
"I swear on my mother's grave I won't let anyone or anything touch her, Snape. I've got her back." Rob's hand was raised like he was being sworn into the Boy Scouts of America.
"Your mother's still alive, dick-wad!" I chastised. "Severus, he will take excellent care of me."
"Such colorful metaphors, Chokey," Snape criticized. "Thank you, Milner, I am sure Ellie has yours as well."
Severus was introduced to the rest of the crew and he formed a very definite opinion about Sarah: she was useless. We packed all our gear and loaded it into our three jeeps then set out just before sundown. The Idles and Phil were in the middle of the caravan. Severus, Rob, and I were in the rear, and Gilly, Doctor Johnny, and Micah took the lead.
Gilly and I were literally riding shotgun due to unstable governments and local upheaval. Excited as I was to fire my magnificent weapon, there was no need; we arrived at our dig site unscathed. First, we set up our equipment tent and then our lab stations.
Severus assisted Micah in pitching all the sleep tents and creating a fire pit. I was so proud to see my husband doing manual labor and not complaining or using magic. How well he was adjusting to Muggle life, extreme as our circumstances may have been. I did use magic once, when no one was looking, to conjure a camp bed that I could waddle in and out of with ease. I mean, that belly of mine would not allow another fit of struggling up and down to get in the sleeping bag on the ground! Severus shot me a look of reprimand before saying, "Clever wench."
The first day began at dawn and it immediately became clear that no bloody walls were to be found here. I hoped Bill was having better luck than we were. My Potions Master assisted me in preparing slides for analysis and samples for carbon dating during the first and second days of the dig. Treasures were abundant if what one was searching for was four thousand year old pottery and human remains.
The night before Severus was to leave me, he and I were talking in our tent when we heard a loud bang in the distance. We peered out the tent and only Gilly was out there.
"Just the other team shooting at rats again," Gilly dismissed.
Severus and I knew better. That had been the sound of someone Apparating. Who, we did not know. Our question was answered a minute later when the figure of a man approached our fire. Gilly aimed her rifle at the shadow and called out, "This is aimed at your head!"
"Hold on, miss, I'm looking for the Snapes. My name's Bill. Don't shoot," answered the eldest Weasley.
Gilly looked at us for confirmation.
"Bill! It's fine Gilly, we know him," I assured her and she lowered her weapon.
"Mr. Weasley, what are you doing here at this hour?" spat Snape.
"I've got owls…I mean letters for you both. I also found something that may interest you," Bill answered happily.
Severus seemed annoyed but I told him to be nice. "Want a coffee, Bill?" asked Gilly as she poured herself one.
"Yeah, thanks." Bill took a cup and Gilly nodded to us to let us know she would give us some privacy. "Here." He handed us our owls and we walked to the dig site to talk. "So today we went back to this old ruin to break some curses and I found a doorway I hadn't seen before. I only had time to peek inside 'cause the goblins would get suspicious. A long stone wall was inside, Ellie, and some very faded Glyphs in a reddish brown dye that looked as if it was missing about half of the original words."
Severus glared at him and then opened his letter. "Where?" he hissed and began to read.
"Well that's the thing you see, most Pyramids, or the real ones anyway are in Giza. This one was just outside a Muggle city in a hillside, or what's left of it. I think you should have a look, but it will have to be very late at night so no one will suspect," Bill said and sipped his coffee.
"This is from the headmaster," Severus informed, looking up at me from his letter. "I shall have to leave early I am afraid." Severus could see I was concerned and put his arm around my waist.
"Is something wrong? Is it Harry?" I asked.
"No, but Dumbledore thinks Malfoy may be getting anxious and I must intervene."
"Damn, this isn't going to work!" I declared in exasperation. "Severus, I will go now with Bill and I want you to come too. Maybe we will get lucky and I can go back to Hogwarts with you."
"Even if we are successful, you are needed here. The team cannot finish without you, Ellie, so remain the entire time."
"Five weeks isn't that bad if you can keep Malfoy pacified. Okay, let me get my things and we'll be off. We can take a jeep and I'll tell Gilly…you're out of gas and we're running you back to your camp. She'll go with it." I walked quickly back and did what I had said.
"You aren't Muggles, are you?" Gilly asked.
"Muggles?" How could she know that?
"My oldest boy started Beauxbatons this year. Bit of a shock, but now I can tell when someone is…special," she said secretively. "My lips are sealed, Ellie. I'll cover for you, go on."
I stared at her in disbelief. I never would have figured her for the mother of a wizard. "Thanks, Gilly, we'll talk later."
I went back to Bill and Severus and got into the jeep. When we were on the road I told Severus about Gilly and her son.
"I believe we can trust her, but do not give her any unnecessary details," Severus warned.
OOOOOOO
"Ellie, slow down a bit. The path is just over there," said Bill, pointing to a patch of shrubs. An eroded hill sat in the middle of a sand field. This had to be it. I parked the jeep and we all headed for it. "Smells a little moldy in there," proclaimed Bill as we walked further into the tunnel.
"Did you hear that?" I stopped and looked at Severus.
"Lumos…yes," Snape answered. "Something is behind that door."
"Boggart, I bet. They love it in these dark, quiet places," surmised Bill.
Severus and I agreed and I opened the door. Sir jumped out looking the way he did when I killed him: bloody with his neck gaping. I hadn't expected that but recovered quickly. "RIDDIKULUS!" I fired and with a pop Sir changed to Madam. "RIDDIKULUS!" I said again and Madam's head shrank, then she vanished. "I see you've met The Guardians," I said disgusted to Severus, who appeared shocked.
"The Guardians?" asked Bill whose face was twisted in repulsion.
"Never you mind," Severus warned Bill and held me close for a moment. "Are you all right?"
"Yes. I had hoped never to see that scene again. Did you see all that blood?"
"There is none of it on you, my love," he comforted reading my mind. "Ready?"
"Bill, you stand watch. Severus and I need to do this alone," I stated and we went to find what would hopefully be the key to my past and our son's future.
Something was written on the wall. "That's not it, but it says to look farther." After an hour we found the wall we had seen in the book. "It's too faded, Severus, and parts are missing." I had an idea. "Give me your knife."
He handed it to me and I cut my arm below the elbow. "What in the hell are you doing?" he screamed.
A/N: This is my favorite line from this chapter from Snape: "If I were a man who preferred the rod, I would gladly go with Milner."
To Be Continued. Please review.