Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, All characters and such belong to Rumiko Takahashi!
HEY! Ok, there's going to be a twist in this chapter. You may think that what happens to a certain character in this chapter is..well, 'permanent'. Oh, but it's not, I'll tell you that much now. So, Don't be so quick to judge this chapter if you find it..weird or strange, because yes, there's a lot of EXPLAINING done on Inuyasha's part, but, personally, I don't think it's boring. However, me rambling on like I am now probably is, So I'll let you get on with the fic!. Oh, and with that twist thing I was talking about earlier on in the paragraph, it's like that for a reason! ;
Chapter eight: life and love situations
Inuyasha trembled as he made his way down the small cliff, it only took him mere seconds, but to him, it felt as if it were hours.
"Kagome!" he screeched, ripping up the sharp sticks, making a path to get to her. Once he was in arms reach, he grasped her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers, feeling how cold she was.
"Kagome?" no answer, "Please, Kagome wake up!"
He moved his hands to her wrists, searching for a pulse...nothing.
"Oh..this is all my fault. Dammit! Why did I have to be so careless!" His eyes were turning red as he ripped the sharp sticks out of her stomach. "You didn't deserve this, Kagome.."
He gently took her up in his arms and cradled her, holding her close. He kissed her forehead, whispering into her ear to wake up and be alright.
"Please, Kagome.. I don't want to lose another person so dear to me. Please!" He was frustrated, angry, sad, perplexed, he didn't know what else to do but hold her close and pray to the gods that they bring her back to him.
Suddenly, he smelled others coming. His ears perked up..listening..
"Miroku, are you sure you saw Inuyasha charge out this way?" Sango asked, a little annoyed and tired.
"Yes, I'm positive. Kagome went out this way as well. I'm sure they're around here somewhere!" he replied.
"You'd better be sure, it's freezing! And Inuyasha will take care of Kagome if they're out here..he wont let anything happen to her when there's a war on the way?" Sango complained.
Inuyasha frowned, looking down at Kagome. He wanted to be alone with her, to hold her close like he wanted to when she was alive. He held onto her closely, swiftly, yet silently going deeper into the woods.
'Don't worry, Kagome.. I'll find a way to bring you back... I owe you that much.' he thought, gazing down at her pale, yet still beautiful face. 'I promised to always protect you.. But I left you alone, once again to run off and be with a woman that I don't even love.'
It was true, he didn't love Kikyo. She had wanted to use the Jewel to change him into a human, It would have been fine if he had been the one to suggest it, but no, she 'wanted' him to change, wanted him to be someone he just wasn't. Using the jewel wouldn't change who he was inside? So why should he have to change his appearance? Hanyou or human he was still going to be Inuyasha?
That wasn't enough for Kikyo, she didn't want to be the lover of a half-breed, she wanted a human to love..which made him wonder if she even cared for him at all...
But Kagome, Oh Kagome was different. She always wanted to be around him, and she was forever encouraging him to be who he was and to not change for anybody. She liked him the way he was, she told him that every now and then, at times when those words would matter the most.. and he appreciated that.
As he gazed down at her, fond memories flooded into his mind. He smiled, remembering that they had shared a kiss once, when fighting Princess Kaguya. He blushed, thinking about the feeling he got at the moment their lips touched. Well, it was a strong enough feeling to have brought him back from his demonic state.
After that battle, he pretended it had never happened, he could tell that Kagome did not want to pretend, but she did, he guessed she didn't speak about it anymore for him? He wished that one of them would have spoken up about it..maybe things would have been different.
'Why didn't I ever realize that Kikyo isn't the one I love...' he asked himself, his eyes turning soft as he placed another soft kiss against her forehead.
He stopped, seeing the God Tree in front of him. Looking to the right, he also saw the Well in the distance. He looked down at Kagome again.
"Should I take you back to your own time?" he asked her, you would think he was insane, talking to a dead girl.
He was about to walk towards the sacred well when he saw a faint glow coming from within Kagome's pocket.
"Huh? It's the.." he trailed off, laying Kagome on the ground and slowly reaching his hand into her pocket. "The Sacred Jewel.. It's-it's ..glowing"
A thought struck his head...He stared at the Jewel in his hand, then he gazed at Kagome, knowing what he must do.
He smiled, leaning his back against the God tree and taking Kagome into his lap. He laid her head on his shoulder so he could whisper in her ear.
"I have made up my mind, Kagome." he laughed. "You keep asking me what I'm going to do with the sacred jewel..I told you I wanted to become a full-fledged demon..but now, I have a new desire..the desire to see you alive again.." At his words, the Jewel shined brighter, slowly dissolving into a brilliant light and flowing into Kagome's body.
He stared at her eyes for what felt like an eternity, yet nothing happened. He held his breath...nothing. She didn't wake up..WHY?
"Kagome." He said her name into her ear, "Please wake up" He berried his face into her neck, starting to cry. He stood, taking her into his arms and carrying her into Kaede's village.
He entered Kaede's hut, he himself now looking pale.
"Oh, Inuyasha, Kagome, What are ye doing here.." She seen the limp body in Inuyasha's arms and gasped.
"What is the matter with Kagome?" She asked, walking swiftly over to place a hand on Kagome's forehead. "She is ice cold to the touch!" Kaede exclaimed.
"She's dead.." he replied, dryly.
He walked further into the hut and laid Kagome down beside the fire. "Look, Kaede..Will you, um..do me a favor?"
Kaede, still flabbergasted, slowly nodded.
"Watch over Kagome for me..just for a while.. I need to go for a run to clear my head.." he sniffed, trying not to let Kaede see that he was crying.
"Of course, Inuyasha.. Take your time. Kagome is safe here with me." she smiled weakly, clearly seeing Inuyasha's pain.
Inuyasha nodded, too broken to even fake a small smile.
He ran and ran, only getting as far as the sacred well, before collapsing on the ground, crying again. This had been the first time he had cried..since the passing of his mother. He wasn't even ashamed, he didn't care who saw him.
Kaede placed another log in the fire before finish up bandaging Kagome's wounds.
She heard something strange, as if someone was mumbling.
"I..nu..yash..a" Kaede heard, looking down to see Kagome's face slightly less pale then it was. Kaede tilted her head to the side. Hearing, and now seeing Kagome speak Inuyasha's name.
"Kagome, child. Are ye alright?" she asked, place a hand on the young girls shoulders.
Kagome's eyes fluttered open as she gasped for air. Kaede gasped as well, holding a broad smile. "Kagome! ye are alive!" she exclaimed, helping Kagome as she attempted to sit up. "Child, I do not think it is wise for ye to try and sit up with ye wounds"
Kagome wore a confused look. "What wounds, Kaede? what are you talking about?"
The old woman striped off one of the bandages, seeing various scars on her back. 'The sacred Jewel must have healed Kagome's wounds.' the wide-eyed old woman thought.
"Kaede?" Kagome said in a questioning tone, bringing the old priestess back from reverie. "Where's Inuyasha? I'm surprised not to see him here.." Kagome looked around, waiting for a reply.
"He's..gone for the moment..he should be back soon, I'm sure." Kaede smiled, getting up to make Kagome some tea.
Kagome waited until the old woman left to fetch some water before creeping out of the door and off to find Inuyasha.
Inuyasha was now sat by the well, looking over the side, pretending he was still waiting for Kagome to come back from her world. He smiled, remembering the times he'd often be sitting in the same spot, looking over the side as the sapphire blue light shined up from the well, a happy Kagome then climbing over the side.
Those times were now over.
He sighed, slowly getting up and turning to walk back to say his final good-bye's to Kagome..before he got everyone together to give her a proper burial. After all, if he brought her home to her own time, 500 years into the future, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and everyone else wouldn't be able to see her. He had every right to be selfish, didn't he?
As he turned, a familiar scent overwhelmed him..
His eyes went wide..
He felt as though his heart would stop.
"Ka..gome!" he said, he couldn't believe his eyes.
She smiled and nodded, "Hey, When I woke up, I didn't.." she didn't get to finish because Inuyasha was in front of her in a split second, embracing the hell out of her.
"Inuyasha, I -" She was interrupted.
"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Kagome" He held her closer, nuzzling her neck. "I let you die.. I..let you.."
Kagome placed a finger to his lips, "Inuyasha, don't..please, just..let's forget the whole thing ever happened." She stroked the back of his head as it was now her turn to hold him.
He suddenly started to laugh, picking her up and turning in circles. She also laughed, her arms wrapped around his neck. When he stopped, they gazed into each others eyes. He leaned in to kiss her but she turned away.
"No.." her eyes became glassy.
"No?" he repeated, confused.
"No..what about Kikyo?. I don't want to be the one to break the two of you apart." she tried so hard to fight back the tears, she'd only be able to keep them back for a few more moments.
He sighed in frustration, yet he smiled. "You are the most selfless person I have ever met. I know you have feelings for me," he smirked, "I can smell your feelings.. You've loved me for a while now.. yet you'd give up the opportunity to be with me because of Kikyo...you are one amazing woman, Kagome, I'll give you that"
She blushed, looking away.
"I don't know why I never realized any of this before.." he said, she looked at him, bewildered.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
He wrapped his arms around her, leaning his head on hers. "Look.." he started. "I've been a royal jerk to you for the past two years..and even though I've never apologized for anything mean or hurtful I'm said or done to you.. You still stuck by me. You know the situation between me and Kikyo.. I don't need to explain what happened. All I need to say is that Kikyo is not the one I love.."
Kagome felt her knees go weak.
"Kagome.. Your death has really opened the door to my feelings..and when I close my eyes..all I can see is you." his eyes went soft.
Kagome stayed silent, loving every word that flowed out of his mouth. But she had something she needed to say.
"But, Inuyasha, there's one thing I don't understand?" she backed away from his embrace.
"I don't understand how you abandoned us so many times.. To go and be with someone you always told us you loved...someone you 'loved', Inuyasha. How can you just stop loving someone one moment, and magically love another?" She asked, her eyes searching his for the answer.
"Kagome..understand this, please." He said, almost tired of this topic. "I do not love Kikyo.. I never did.. It's just.. Kikyo was the first person to ever accept me..to not run away or try and kill me, and I always wanted to keep her safe because of that.. She gave me a feeling of being safe myself and I wanted to keep that feeling forever. I always wanted to be around her because it made me feel good.. I just..didn't love her.. She was like a crush..The first 'female' to ever smile at me..Well, other than my mother." he laughed.
"I just want you to understand that when Kikyo died and I was pinned to that tree..all those years passed without experiencing that good feeling..and I missed it. And every opportunity I got to go and see her for the past two years.. I took it." he gave her an emotionless look, waiting for her to reply.
However, she gave the same look back. "I..understand, I guess. I mean, I probably don't understand this as much as you do, yet somehow I believe you.." she smiled.
He returned the smile. "Good, because I have something I want to tell you."