Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 2

Secrets

A/N: Decided to update early. :D

I was groggy that morning as I tried to see through pinched eyelids. The light filtering into our bedroom was strong and harsh. We really needed to get better curtains. I knew that there was no getting back to sleep now. I groaned inwardly as I rolled onto my back and stretched. Of course I was instantly aware that my wife was no where to be seen amongst the sheets. It didn't surprise me though; it was like this a lot lately. She was almost up and gone even before I opened my eyes.

It was then that the incident of last night came back to me. I slapped my forehead and jumped out from the covers, trying to find something to put on quickly. I eventually found my blitzball shorts in the corner of our room, crumpled in a small pile. I threw them on, stumbling clumsily a few times as I struggled to get my legs through the holes. Eventually I got them on and found my way out into the kitchen, searching for her anywhere. I did a quick search and then realized that she probably wasn't home anyway. With an angry growl I stalked into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. I was surprised when I saw who was relaxing against the counter, waiting for coffee.

"You're still here."

"Yes," she was refusing to look at me, but at least we were talking now.

"Why?" I asked genuinely curious. Unfortunately I was unable to keep the slight edge of anger from voice, but she ignored it.

"Because," she started, swiftly glancing at my face from underneath her dark lashes, "I just…didn't go." She turned away from me then and helped herself to her piping hot beverage and promptly sat down at the table without another word. I waited for more, but I could see that she had no intention of saying more on the subject. So, still feeling rather irritated, I silently went about gathering myself a bowl of fruit and settling down at the other end of the table, fork in hand. The silence then was just like it always was between us in whatever amount of time we spent together in each other's presence. Awkward.

And I knew that, for whatever reason, it couldn't go on any longer.

"Yuna," I made a point of meeting her gaze across the table. I could tell from the wary look in her eyes that she had no intention of striking up a conversation. "Yes?" She questioned innocently, no doubt feigning ignorance in order to evade the discussion. It was inevitably going to come up sooner or later, surely she must have known that.

"I think we need to talk."

"About what?"

"Last night, for one," I offered lightly. I saw it all play out on her face as I said those words. Her jaw tightened and her eyes glazed. Almost instantly she jumped up out of her seat and began clearing the table. It wasn't until she'd turned on the faucets, her back facing me, did she even decide to speak.

"There's no point," she said simply, finishing quickly and changing the subject. "I'll be in the nursery if you need me."

"Yuna," I warned in low, harsh tone. She stopped immediately. I came up behind her, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. "Why are you going to so much trouble to avoid this?"

"Do you…want to leave?" She asked suddenly, her voice thick with implications. She must have known I had picked up on them, because she seemed to try and correct herself. "For Luca I mean."

"I'm not going." I sighed. The thought had just brought up more undirected anger. "But I think you still need to explain to me why you were being so insistent on me staying when you're constantly out all the time."

"I just…wanted to spend time with you. I'm always so busy and I never get to see you as much as I want anymore," she began to explain, but I was already dissatisfied with her answer.

"But that's your choice," I interrupted, letting some of my frustration out. "You could stop anytime you want…you don't have to do this Yuna. You could give in at any time…"

"I can't," he voice was barely audible, I had to strain my ears to catch it. This whole scene was disturbingly familiar…it was her pilgrimage all over again. And it only made me even angrier.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't like my work."

I probably shouldn't have kept going. After all she had just sacrificed the rest of her pride by admitting she was wrong. I should have been happy. But I couldn't let the conversation close. Not yet.

"It's not that I don't like it…I just want to know what it is that you're doing," I continued. Letting out all of this pent up frustration was starting to feel really good. "All of the secrecy really makes me wonder."

She finally turned to face me then, a fragile smile painted on her lips, eyes cautious. "You know that I work with Nooj, Baralai and Gippal to keep Spira steady. There are still quite a few people who are uneasy in this new time. I merely give them guidance, as well as helping the other leaders maintain peace between their respective organizations. We also have several research projects as well."

"I know that," I snapped. "That's what you always tell me."

Her eyes roamed my face for a moment before darting away. She shrugged, "that's all that I do."

This whole innocent charade was really starting to get on my nerves. She knew that I knew she was hiding something from me. She spent hours and hours researching books and ancient texts…even at home. Often times I would walk in the door only to find her asleep at her desk, her head resting gently on top of something work related. I was really starting to worry. I was afraid that this whole unpleasant routine would continue even after the baby was born, and that was a thought I was definitely not willing to tolerate on any level.

She took advantage of my obvious inability to speak at that moment, as I was too lost in my thoughts to even put a coherent sentence together. "I'm going for a shower now if you don't mind," she announced quietly, casually strolling off in the direction of the bathroom, her hand resting gingerly on her bulging stomach. I watched her go. She was humming an unfamiliar tune as she went; the soft melody echoing down the hallway, throughout the entire house. The apparent happiness in the music only irritated me further. She was definitely keeping something from me.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my trance. I went to open it. Before the door was even open a crack I could already tell that it was raining again, the cold draft a clear indicator of the weather.

"Hey Brudda!" Wakka exclaimed, slapping me playfully on the shoulder. "What's up?"

Wakka…definitely a welcome and entertaining distraction—he was drenched from head to toe! His usually stiff, gelled hair now looked more like a ragged mop, his flaming locks hanging in large, disorientated clumps around his bulky face. I had to stifle a laugh.

"Having a bad hair day?" I asked playfully, nudging him gently in the side.

He frowned. "Hey, cut that out! You should be grateful! I didn't come all this way through the rain just to say 'hello' you know. You're not that greater friend," he said, evening the score.

"Then what did you come here for exactly?" I asked seriously this time.

"Well, actually I came here to deliver a package for Yuna—care of Rikku," he explained, pulling out a small, orange sphere. "She insisted that I give it directly to Yuna, but I suppose you'll do. I don't understand why she didn't just give it to Yuna herself. I mean, I'm not her personal postman!"

He plopped the eerily glowing orb in my hands. For some odd reason I shivered, the surface feeling unnaturally cold on my fingertips. "I'll tell her you dropped it off for her," I said. "Thanks Wakka. I'm sure she'll really appreciate it."

"Nah, it was nothin'." He waved his hands in front of his face, obviously embarrassed. "How's she doin'? Everything going okay?"

"Yeah," I offered weakly, unconsciously balling my fingers into fists at my sides. He didn't seem to notice.

"That's good to hear." A wide grin flashed across his face, "maybe now she'll take it easy," he whispered. I could hear the concern in his voice; he wasn't convinced either. It was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one who didn't like what her job did to her.

Unfortunately, I couldn't for the life of me keep the previous dejection from my voice when I answered. I was grudgingly honest. "I don't know Wakka. I don't think she'll ever slow down."

He picked up on my meaning and tone immediately. His voice went down to a wary murmur. "Did you guys have a fight?"

"Not really," I lied.

"That's okay…things will work out eventually," Wakka seemed to see that I didn't want to talk about it. I was grateful that he didn't push it any further. He didn't need to be fretting about my problems. He had his own concerns to worry about…his own family to look after.

"Thanks again buddy," I tried to give him a genuine smile; anything to stop him worrying about us.

"No prob!"

I watched him leave, half running back to the other side of the village through the downpour. With a depressed sigh I closed the door with the sphere in hand. I wasn't even going to look at it. I had originally planned to do what I always did with Yuna's things and put them on her desk for her to find later. But as I sat there on the couch, rolling it around loosely in my palms, I began to wonder…what was on it? I shook my head violently, trying to dispel those thoughts. After all, it really was none of my business.

But then another part of me argued that maybe here, on this sphere were some clues as to why my wife was being so secretive about everything concerning her job. I couldn't here water running through the pipes, but the light was turned off in our bedroom—she had gone to sleep. It would probably be whole bunch of stuff that I wouldn't understand anyway, so what does it matter if I see it or not?

Hesitantly, I turned it on.

At first, it was dark, and I could see nothing but static. Eventually though, a figure began to form in the projecting image. I slowly began to make it out, the familiar face and features turned out to belong to a certain Al Bhed I knew—Rikku. She was positioned on a bed or couch from what I could see. The contours of an unidentifiable plain white room reflected in my eyes.

"Hey Yunie!" she chirped in her usual casual and happy tone. "I can't believe that you're going to be a mother soon! I'm so excited!" the camera's vision blurred suddenly for a moment as movements knocked it around. "I get first dibs on a cuddle! I bet Tidus is looking forward to it…" her voice grew solemn at the sound of my name and I couldn't fathom why.

Her voice then grew very serious. So much in fact that I was having a hard time believing it was the same person's image in front of me. "Anyway, I managed to get a hold of those files you asked for. I sweet-talked Gippal into doing me a favor. It seems that Rin is planning the first trial in a few days. It was a direct order from Baralai…but…" she hesitated for a moment, reaching out of view for something resting on the dresser beside her.

"Listen…I think you should tell Tidus what you're up to with Rin. I know that you hate it when I but in on your marriage problems, but give the guy a break, he's worried about you. And to be honest, so am I. I don't like the idea of you getting so involved with him. Baralai is up to something too. Something bad is happening, Yunie so I really think you should just forget all this and stay with your family. Don't do something stupid that you'll regret later…"

"Rikku!" She was cut of by another familiar voice.

"Dammit!"—she turned to the doorway, and there I could see Cid, her father in his traditional yellow jumpsuit. And he was looking rather perturbed about something—"be there in a sec dad."

And with that, the image disappeared.

I turned the sphere off and sat silently for a few moments contemplating. What had Rikku said? 'Tell Tidus about what you're doing with Rin'? What was she doing with Rin? What 'files' did Yuna ask for? What was this trial she was speaking of? More importantly, why did Yuna care?

I got up from my seat, my head spinning with questions. Slowly I made my way to our room, where I knew my wife was sleeping. I placed the sphere on her desk and stood there for a few moments in the doorway, watching her chest rise and fall with her quiet breathing in the dim light. It was amazing how quickly my worries disappeared whilst watching her. Her hair was still rather damp from her recent shower, her jeweled eyes sealed shut. It was relaxing…yet at the same time, unnerving. Rikku's message had made me uneasy, and I was suddenly filled with an urge to shake her awake and demand to know what she had meant. It was then that I felt my chest abruptly tighten with rage…I recognized the feeling instantly.

But surely Yuna wouldn't…

I couldn't even think about it. My eyes started stinging and I knew what was coming. Instead I immediately dismissed the thought, rationalizing with myself that there was no point in getting upset until I had talked to her. I then carefully slid in under the covers next to her, rolling onto my side. It was the middle of the day and yet, I found myself actually wanting to sleep. Yuna had random naps all the time when she was home. I had always guessed that it had something to do with the baby.

Cautiously, I draped an arm over her chest, before pulling her closer to my side. She tucked herself more comfortably at my side in response.

That afternoon, I held onto Yuna more tightly then I think I ever had before.

That night, I dreamt.

And as I dreamt, Yuna screamed.

A/N: Okay, for those who maybe confused, this chapter takes place after that fight Yuna and Tidus had in the first chapter. The little part at the end is Tidus later on in the story, looking back on what's happening. Got it? Meh, don't worry, all we be explained in the next chapters. This story in majority has already been written and I promise I will update frequently—unlike my other fic, which will possibly be deleted. I can't see that one continuing.

Chapter 3: Loss, will be posted next week.

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