Olivia and Elliot sat at there desks, wondering what was going to happened to Harbon girls. They both hoped that they would be placed in loving homes and be able to recover from there horrific experiences. They were adorable. They both had long curly brown hair, and deep brown eyes, that reflected pain, loss and the need for love.
Elliot and Olivia had become close with the girls the past two weeks. They couldn't help but get attached, they needed affection, they needed love. And they were just so dog gone cute!
She was sitting at her desk, staring at her computer, pretending to be reading something, but Elliot knew the screen went blank more then 10 minutes ago. "Liv--earth to Olivia are you there?" He said smiling at her.
"Yeah…I'm here" She said holding back the tears in her eyes, "It never ends does it El?" she looked up from her paperwork with tears in her eyes, "No matter how many perps we put away, there's another one just beginning." She wiped the tears from her eyes, "I'm sorry, the girls, they just got to me you know? How could there mother not love them? How could any mother not love her…" She broke off, she couldn't say the rest. But she knew she didn't have to. Elliot knew. He bobbed his head up and down, he understood.
"I'm taking you home" Elliot said looking deeply into her eyes, "I mean…Can I take you home?" He asked very gently not wanting to push her too far knowing how vulnerable she currently was.
'Can I take you home' had become there their code word...
Olivia didn't want to be alone, and Elliot needed to be with the one person that he could talk to…or didn't have to talk to because she just got it. They had become real close over the past 4 years of their partnership. They understood each other in a way that no one else could, no one.
For the past few months they had started habit. When ever there was a difficult case they would go back to Olivia's drink wine and watch movies. Sometimes they would talk all night, and other times they would just sit there. He would hold her in his arms until the morning sun came up.
They never kissed, they never had sex, they would just lie in each others arms. It was very innocent, and it was starting to eat at him. But she was the only person that made him feel like living another day. She was the only one that could take away the pain. That could let Elliot, just be Elliot.
They were lying to themselves. They knew what they were doing was not as innocent as it seemed. Elliot may not have been cheating on Kathy, but he was definitely having an affair.
All Olivia knew was that she had never felt safer then when she was in Elliot's arms. He knew her in and out, her strengths, weaknesses, and she, his. She knew it was tearing Elliot up inside, but she couldn't let him go. When he was with her it was like everything disappeared, and there was just them. Two sole mates who couldn't be together.
It was getting harder for them to keep it platonically. At first they would just stay up and talk all night, and then it was rubbing shoulders and giving back massages. The first night he actually stayed over they slept on opposite couches. After a few more nights, they slept on the same couch, heads at different ends. The next time they fell asleep in each others arms. Recently they had upgraded to her bed and he had been sleeping there every chance he got for the past few weeks.
They were snuggling on her couch. He had his hands wrapped around her waist, and her hands were rubbing his. They weren't talking. The TV was not on. They sat in silence. They both knew they had to talk about what they were doing. Neither one of them wanted to have the conversation because they were afraid that would mean the end of what ever the hell they were doing.
She sighed. She just had to do it. "El--what is this…what were doing?" She asked very calmly.
He took a deep breath. "I don't know…Olivia, I don't know" He knew they had to talk about it, but he honestly didn't know what they were doing. All he knew was that he liked it, and didn't want it to stop.
"El--this is hard for me to say, so I'm just going to say it" She was looking at her hands that were still rubbing his. "I looked forward to you coming over here. Sometimes it's all I think about. I feel like a child on Christmas Eve during the day, wondering if you are going to come over. I know I can't have you the way I want to, and part of me can settle for that, because it's you, and the other half of me saying I deserve better. There is no happy ending to this. No matter what we do someone is going to get hurt, and I know…" Tears streamed down her face, "and I know that, that person is me"
"Liv--"
"Please, just let me get this out. The thing is that, I'm ok with that, I know I'm going to get hurt, and I still can't stop myself from being with you." She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
He didn't know what to say. He knew that he was falling in love with her, and up until right now, after that speech, he knew, he had fallen completely in love with his partner.
There was a silence, not an awkward silence, but still a silence. She could almost hear his brain processing the information. She knew him well enough that when he was ready to talk, he would do so.
The silence was torture. Just say it, just tell me you can't see me anymore, she chanted to herself.
Finally he spoke, "Liv--I..e…I just don't know what to do anymore. No matter what I do, someone gets hurt, there is no right choice, there are no right answers. I try to talk myself out of coming here every time. Just stop coming over, but I can't. I can't." He looked into her eyes, which were still wet with tears, "Being here, being with you makes me feel whole. I feel like I don't have to be anyone but Elliot Stabler when I'm with you. It's so easy for me to be who I am. All of my problems just go away when I lay next you. You, Olivia are the one person who knows me, I mean really knows me. We have no secrets. But the guilt, the guilt is ripping me apart inside. I have a wife, a wife that I can't talk to. A wife who sleeps next to me, and all I can do is think about how I wish it was you sleeping with me. And I can't stop it. I can't stop…"
He shifted his body, put his hands on her jaw and looked her straight in the eyes, "and I can't stop the fact that I'm falling in love with you."
Her eyes began to water again. She couldn't stop it. Those things he said they were perfect. "so where does that leave us, El? Where do we go from here?" She asked quietly.
"I don't know, I can't stop seeing you Olivia, I would fall apart with out you." He rested his head on her shoulder.
"Look El--We have had a rough day, a very long emotional day. And I don't think I can handle anymore of this, can we just figure this out later? Sleep on it, and deal with it later?" She asked.
"I think that is a great idea…so should I--um" He didn't know if he should go home, or stay.
"Can you stay? You don't have to, it's just that I feel like I need you right now…I feel that our time together has been put on timer…and I feel like I need have you with me while I still can…"
"Liv- I want to stay here with you, I just couldn't go home right now…" he was glad that Olivia asked him to stay. He wanted to stay with her too. He could not go home and sleep in the same bed as his wife knowing that he just found out and confessed his love to Olivia. He needed to be with her, always.
He wiped the new batch of tears that had formed in her eyes. He kissed her on her forehead, and got up and walked to her bedroom. Her head placed on his chest, and his arms around tightly wrapped around her. He placed his lips against hers, there first kiss. It was spectacular. Elliot was sure that fireworks were going off somewhere.
This feels so right, I need to make her mine always. How doe she do it? I can't help it, when did she become my everything? He asked himself while controlling his urges to make sweet passionate love to her.
c2
They woke up the next morning his arms still around her, holding her tightly. His warm breath, heated her neck and she felt an exhilarating tingle run through her body. She could not understand how a human being could make her feel so alive with just a gentle breath on her neck.
"Morning, Liv" He whispered and squeezed his arms around her.
"Morning" She said half asleep.
"Since we don't have to into work until noon, how about you hop in the shower, and I'll make you breakfast?" He asked.
"That sounds perfect" She said with her million dollar smile, "But can we just lie hear a little bit longer?" she said petting his arms.
"Now, that sounds perfect" He said as he kissed the back of her head.
It sounded perfected, but it didn't last, Olivia's cell phone began ringing.
"Benson. Hi Cap, No I haven't seen him…oh he did, ok…oh…really? That is strange, he probably went to the hospital to check on the Harbon girls…yeah I'll track him down and let him know…yeah I'll see you at noon. Bye Cap." She shut her phone, and turned around and looked at Elliot lying comfortably in her bed. Awaiting to hear what the Cap had to say.
"You left your cell phone at the station house, Kathy was calling all this morning" She said with a dim look on her face.
He gave her that, 'I'm sorry' look.
"It's ok, El, I'm not upset" She said. She would take that, 'I'm sorry' look, along with a million calls from Kathy, as long as it meant that he had held her all night.
"Looks like I'm not going to be able to make you breakfast" he said. He thought she would get mad and hostile towards him for having to leave.
"Ah well, I'm not a breakfast person anyway" She said with a smile.
And then it hit him, she wasn't Kathy. Olivia, understood completely, it was there job. He smiled at her.
"So what…um where are you going to go?" She asked.
"To the hospital to visit the Harbon girls, that's where you told the Cap I was right?"
"Right"
"Ok then, I'll see you at noon?"
"See you at noon, bye El"
"Later Liv"
C3
Olivia walked into the station house at sat down at her desk. Elliot was not there yet. She turned on computer as her phone rang.
"Benson, oh, Hi Kathy, how are you?...good. No he's not here yet, is there anything I can help you with?" She began to tremble, she didn't like the uneasy feeling that came over her. "He's at the Hospital still…Ok? Yeah I'll have him call you when as soon as he gets back…ok. Bye Kath"
The second she hung up the phone Elliot appeared.
"Hey" She said.
"Hey, were you just talking to Kathy?" He asked fearful.
"Um, yeah, she just called me looking for you" She said looking at her computer, not wanting to look him in the eye.
"Is everything ok? The kids--"
"Kids are fine, she just wanted to know where you were…last night " She whispered.
He picked up his phone that he left on his desk yesterday. 5 missed calls, all from home. He couldn't call Kathy with Olivia right there, so he went up stairs.
"So, how are the girls?" She asked him when he came down shortly after he left.
"As good as to be expected, I think I found them a great home." He said looking up at her.
"That's great El! What are they like?"
"A couple, in there 40's, they were never able to have children so they became foster parents. The last kid they had was just reunited with his mother, it seems promising"
"You went far and beyond the call of duty for those girls, El. That was really sweet of you" She said in a thankful voice.
He did it for her. He knew how much Olivia had cared for the girls, and he wanted those girls to have some bit of normalcy in their lives. Plus he would do anything to see that smile on her face.
The Captain came out of his office. "Ok gang, gather 'round. I just got off the phone with the Captain from the Brookyln SVU. I just bet him a lot of money I don't have that we are going to kick there butts at the Softball game tonight. So we better. It starts at 7" He passed out some shirts he ordered. On the front there it said, SVU with a softball, on the back it had there last names and there number.
"These are nice Cap" Munch said, "but do we really have to play?"
"Always the last one picked in gym, huh?" Finn joked.
"Very funny." he replied to his partner.
"Yes, John, everyone is playing. So unless there is an emergency I will see you all there"
------------------------------------------------------------------
The whole gang was there sitting on the bench scoping out the other team.
The Cap walked over with a case of beer. "Liquid strength." He said.
They all gave him a strange look. It was no secret that the Cap was in A.A.
"What? Since I can't drink it, I mind as well buy it" He said there inquisitive faces.
"Works for me" Elliot said grabbing two beers, one for him and one for Liv. He pressed the ice cold beer up against her neck, and whispered in a sexy voice, "you're too hot, you need to cool down"
It was the end of the third inning. The score was tied, 0-0. Casey was doing a great job pitching but they needed to get some runs on the board.
Everyone was so paying close attention to the game that no one noticed Kathy sitting on the bench. She was sitting behind two middle aged guys having some beers. She didn't know what they were talking about, but it seemed like good gossip so she listened.
"I'm telling you, those two are definitely banging! I mean look at them! All that flirting, and touching, I'm telling you those two are madly in love with each other." The one guy said to his buddy.
"No, I'm telling you, Stabler is married. I know for a fact that they are not sleeping together"
What the? Stabler? Did I really just hear that correctly. She almost choked on her coffee.
"Think what you want, but look at them" He said as he pointed to them.
Elliot was showing Olivia how to swing the bat correctly. His strong arms wrapped around her body, bringing the bat across her chest very slowly.
"See, just like that, you do that and you will be just fine" He said to her. He took his hand and slapped her helmet down so she couldn't see, and then tickled her sides. She laughed at him, and he laughed at her. There eyes meeting each others sending warm, heated shock waves through their bodies.
"Yeah ok, maybe something is going on there" The second guy agreed, and laughed as they watch Elliot and Olivia flirt.
Kathy on the other hand, was not laughing. She grew very angry. I know that Olivia and Elliot are tight, but they aren't sleeping together. What the hell does that guy know anyway? And why is she touching my husband…He's laughing…really laughing, Jesus I haven't seen Elliot laugh in ages, she thought.
She didn't know what to do. She was frozen. All she could do was watch them together. She got goose bumps. She had never seen Elliot and Olivia together outside of work, she didn't think Elliot had either, but now she was beginning to wonder.
"You're up next Liv," Elliot said to her, and then whispered in her ear, "You can do this, just keep you eye on the ball, watch the ball like you watch a perp. Focus."
"I can do this" She said out loud.
She walked up to the plate. The SVU bench cheered, "C'MON OLIVIA!" "Let's go Benson!"
And then a very distinctive cheer from Elliot, "You can do it, Liv!" He said as he clapped his hands together and watch her intensely up at the bat.
What did he whisper in her ear? I hope she gets hit in the face. Kathy couldn't help but feel jealous and insecure. She never hated Olivia, but apparently she didn't know how close she was with Elliot. How could I have never seen this before?
All these warning signs were going through Kathy's mind. The late nights at the office, that seemed to be more frequent the last few months. And if it wasn't a late night, he didn't come home at all. He never talked to her anymore. They hadn't had sex in forever. The showers before he got into bed…He's having an affair, it's so obvious how could I have not seen this.
She was snapped out of her trance by cheering fans, Oh great! Olivia hit a homerun! She had never hated someone so much.
She couldn't help but watch the teammates get up from the bench and meet Olivia at home plate. She was rounding third. The person she went to first was Elliot, he practically had his hands open for her to jump in them, which she did. He squeezed her tight. He looks so happy…his eyes are not cold and dark, but they are sparkling and warm, and fixated on Olivia.
That was enough for Kathy. She couldn't take it. She left without anyone seeing her. On her way back home she wondered, maybe they are not having an affair, Elliot would never do that. He's not like that. So there close, I knew that. Just because two people who don't even know them think there having an affair, I'm going to believe them? She started to go crazy right about now.
They were celebrating at the local bar after a big victory. The team was partying. It was Friday night, and they had no open cases. The squad had every right to let loose tonight, they deserved it.
Casey walked up to Olivia and handed her a shot, "To the only run scored, Cheers Olivia!" They downed there shots.
"Well I couldn't have done it with out the help of my partner" She said smiling at Elliot. And then took the shot, "Whhhew! Maybe next time I should ask what the shot is before I take it," Liv said as she grabbed Elliots beer from his hand and took a huge sip for her chaser. He laughed at her.
It was almost closing time, and there were just a few stragglers left at the bar. Olivia and Elliot were at the bar talking about how much fun they had at the game.
"So, superstar, can I take you home tonight?" He said quietly into her ear.
"Not if you're driving!" She teased, "but if you want to walk me home, I will not object" She said with a smile that drove him crazy.
They walked down the street, he wanted so badly to be holding her hand. It was way to risky, so he settled for a rubbing up next to her every chance he got. They got to her building what seemed to be ages later. She was nervous, he was nervous. They both knew this was coming, the uncontrollable force that came over them, the electricity, that anticipation, everything.
They walked into her apartment. A wave of courage came over Elliot, he placed his hands on her waist and drew her closely into him. He looked deep into her honey brown eyes, he was completely in love with her. He watched her look up to him. Her face, her lips, they were begging to be kissed, to be touched, begging to be his. He couldn't take it, he slowly leaned in he touched his lips with hers, very softly, very tender.
Their kiss was magical. It was what she had always imagined, and more! She ran her fingers through his hair. He slid his tongue inside her mouth. She even tasted sweet, he thought. There kiss heated up immensely. His hands were wondering to unexplored territory and it felt amazing.
She couldn't believe what they were doing. Olivia had made bad decisions when it came to men, but she didn't want Elliot to be one of the decisions. It felt so right, she had never felt that electricity before.
They eventually made there way to the bedroom. There love making was unlike anything either of them had experienced. They had this deep connection that made everything so intense, so emotional, so amazing.
He screamed her name, "Olivia! OH my God, Liv! OHLIV-IA!" It was bomb ass sex and they both knew it. They also new that it was too good do never to again…
When they both collapsed, hot, sweaty and sticky he said to her, "I've been dying to say your name, Liv. That was the most incredible sex I have ever came close to experiencing." he said softly, kissing her neck. "I'm not kidding…"
"That was -- that was good…" She said as she put her head on his chest, catching her breath. He was stroking her hair. She fell asleep soon after. But he couldn't sleep, he watched her. She looked like an angel, she was so beautiful.
He thought that after he gave himself to Olivia he would feel, guilty, remorseful and the utmost disgust for sleeping with another woman. But he did not feel any of those things. He felt whole, loved, and so happy. He felt like Dr. Susess's the Grinch, when his heart grew ten times…Elliots heart grew 100 times and was flashing 'OLIVIA, OLIVIA' in bright neon lights.
"I have to end it with Kathy" he whispered in her ear. He knew she was sleeping, but he needed to tell her anyways, "There is no way I'm giving you up. I love you more then words can describe, not to sound cliché but you Olivia Benson, you-complete-me" He kissed her forehead, moved her ever so gently so he could lie down next to her and hold her tightly.
Elliot went home the next morning planning on telling Kathy that it was over. However she had beat him to it. She left him a note saying she left him. She took the kids and went to her mothers…………………………………...