Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 3

Loss

If only I had known then, just exactly why what happened, occurred in the first place.

No. That's a lie; I did know. I just didn't listen. I didn't want to listen.

That day, I lost a part of her.

And I knew…I knew that I would never see it again.

I didn't know where I was. The surroundings were unfamiliar and alien to my eyes. Somewhere in the back of my conscious, I think part of me knew this was a dream.

An endless stretch of bleached white sand lay under my feet, contrasting brightly with the dark, deep blue of the ocean. This wasn't Besaid…it was too big…too cold, despite the shining sun above my head. I was slightly aware of the jetty further down the coastline, housing a number of house boats. It wasn't until my eyes came full circle, did I realize the beautiful brunette standing at the edge of the shore, the waves lapping gently at her bare feet. She was gazing out past the ocean, her bi-colored eyes set on the horizon's display of sunset. But what was even more bizarre, was that her eyes were dark, the sun reflecting no light off them whatsoever. As usual, both hands rested gently on her bulging stomach…

"Yuna!" I called, a smile flashing across my lips at the very sight of her.

She didn't answer…she didn't even move.

"Yuna!" I tried again, walking up to her side to catch her attention. Still, she didn't respond.

Something then flickered out of the corner of my eye, and I turned to check it out. It was then that I saw it—a solitary black shadow heading towards us at a rather leisurely pace. Strangely enough, it kept moving in and out of focus. It was almost blurry, and its frame seemed to be quite loosely defined; shifting now and then within my sight, always remaining unclear even as it approached.

I backed away instinctively, attempting to pull my wife with me, but it was like she was stuck there—stiff and glued to the sand like a statue. I pulled harder, with the same fruitless result. I began to panic then, unable to think clearly as I watched the black figure continue its progress. I kept pulling, this time putting all my strength into it, and yet still she never budged an inch.

I tried to stand firm, fighting back the fear and my rapidly pounding heart. I turned around, trying my best to move her again, and after what seemed like the thousandth failing, I gave up, defeated. Slowly, I returned to my original position, only to find that the shadowed, undefined, yet disturbingly sinister face only inches away from mine.

I jumped back quite far, almost screaming I got such a shock. I heard it giggle, probably at my reaction. Whilst I still couldn't get a sharp perspective on its body, I could make out the small wisps of dark matter dancing around its well built frame; almost like a black fire had engulfed his entire being. It then began morphing a facial expression similar to my own which I thought, at first, was mocking my own.

It strolled up casually beside Yuna, looking her up and down before returning its gaze to me—an animated smile adorning his rough lips. I scowled.

"That's a beautiful girl you have there," he made a point of gesturing towards her, his smile still in place. Again I thought he was mocking me, as his voice sounded impossibly similar to mine.

He returned his gaze her, once again appraising her in an almost condescending sort of way. "It's just too bad though that she enjoys sticking her nose into other people's business," he shook his head slowly to emphasize his point, and I almost wanted to punch him then. But I was too scared to speak. He was much more serious when he continued.

"Tell her to stop digging," he demanded. His tone was so horrifying that it made me want to run for the hills. "Because all she's doing is digging herself a nice little grave." He snickered again. "It would be such a pity for such a pretty girl to have to rot don't you think?" He walked up behind her frozen figure, running his dark, flaming arms down her neck and along her collarbones. Yuna didn't even flinch under his touch; she remained as immobile as ever.

"Yes…a real shame," he whispered in her ear, caressing her neck. That was the last straw.

"H-Hey!" I interjected harshly, trying to keep my voice steady. Unfortunately, its reaction was far from the desired effect.

He grunted. "And so he speaks. And here I was thinking you were a mute," he teased, his voice remaining high pitched and quite jovial.

"Leave her alone," I threatened more firmly this time. He still seemed unfazed though.

"Alright. Heel lover boy," he chuckled darkly. "Just pass on that message and I won't have to touch her at all."

I laughed this time, my sudden confidence surprising me. I watched his expression morph from a teasing happiness to one of insulted astonishment. "She doesn't listen to me. I've already tried to talk to her about it, but she insists on continuing with her work. It'll take a lot more than some stupid dream I had to stop her. Besides, why are you so shaken up over a little research?"

He sniggered blackly. "Oh? Has she been keeping you in the dark about her little escapades?" He chastised.

"No. We don't keep secrets from each other," I lied. He didn't buy it of course.

He merely smirked, seemingly ignoring my defense. "It doesn't matter anyway," he said dismissively, turning once more to my wife.

"I'm truly sorry about this," he spoke sarcastically, obviously unable to keep himself from smiling. "But it really is for your own good."

"Wh…What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.

He turned, his expression had disappeared now, molding back into the same bland canvas as before. "I can't have what I want, so neither can she."

Surprisingly, effortlessly, he turned her to face him, although her expression still remained frozen. He looked at her, stroking one of her still cheeks, smiling. "This will be the second time I hold you," he whispered to her softly before gently pressing his lips to hers.

My breath stopped when that happened…so did my heart. What did he mean 'second time'?… I wanted to walk over and rip him away from her, beat him, kill him…so many scenarios forced themselves through my mind. But I resisted, knowing all too well that it would do me no good. I knew that he stayed like that with her longer than necessary just to tease me. I almost cried myself when I saw the small rivets of tears flowing down her cheeks…

And then he broke away.

"This is my final warning," the shadow announced, taking a step back. "I will get my way."

And just before everything went dark, I swore I heard Yuna screaming.

"No!" I screamed, wrenching upright in bed, my body soaked in a cold sweat. My head whipped around in worry, only to find Yuna still there next to me; sleeping peacefully, unharmed. My heart-rate slowed, along with my breathing as I slowly lowered myself back down onto my pillow. "Just a dream…" I breathed, rolling back onto my side and pulling my wife closer to me once more.

Beside me, Yuna groaned and shifted uneasily under my arm. At first, I paid it no mind, well aware that it was quite normal behavior for her whilst she was sleeping. But when she moaned again, louder this time, I glanced over and shook her gently. She was obviously having a nightmare…probably a good idea to spare her of it.

"Yuna?"

As if response to my question she groaned louder, almost screaming. She abruptly began squirming about amongst the sheets, clammy moisture breaking out across her forehead and tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

"Yuna…what's wrong?" She started heaving for air as the color suddenly drained from her face, eyes clenched shut. Either this was just a really bad nightmare, or something was horribly wrong. Of course, knowing my luck, it was probably the latter. I forced her upright, her entire body tense and shaking with broken sobs. I didn't have a clue what to do…

"Tidus…it hurts…" She managed to get out, squeezing my arm tighter then I thought was humanely possible. I used my other hand to take hers, both relieving the pressure on my muscles and showing her that I was there; well aware she was in pain.

"I'm right here. Don't worry," I soothed. She winced again, her free palm flying to her stomach, clutching at it as she bent over in agony. Dream forgotten and not wasting another moment, I roughly threw her up into my grasp, her small frame balled protectively against my chest as I dived out of bed, through the house and out into the lukewarm night. It was a full moon tonight, the village bathed in a cool white light, allowing me to find my way to Wakka and Lulu's hut. It was the only alternative I could think of that could offer Yuna any kind of relief.

"Lulu!" I screamed, knocking on the door as loud as I possibly could with Yuna in my arms. "Lulu! Wakka!"

I continued in my relentless pursuit for there attention for several minutes, well aware that the woman in my arms was getting worse. I almost gave up, when someone finally answered the door.

"Man…it's like two o'clock in the morning man…what's with the-" He stopped dead when he saw who was in my arms.

"Yuna! What in flying shoopufs happened to her?"

I ignored him. "Is Lulu there?" I asked desperately, having to raise my voice over Yuna's cries of pain.

Wakka didn't even pause before running off back into the house to fetch the black mage. While I waited, I focused on my wife, pressing my forehead against hers. Her skin was unimaginably cold, sending a shiver down my spine. I tried to calm her. "It's okay sweetheart…Lulu will be here soon." She stifled another cry, her grasp on my shirt tightening.

"Tidus…"

"It's okay, I'm right here. I've got you." Seeing her like this was tearing me apart.

"Tidus…I'm sorry."

"Shhhh…don't worry now," I whispered, placing a quick peck on her forehead. Although I had no idea why she was apologizing.

"Yuna! Oh Yevon! Bring her with me to the temple quick!" It was Lulu, finally; her long, black, silken nightgown billowing in the soft breeze. I was surprised when I saw that her hair was down; her long black locks reaching down far past her waist. We moved as quickly as we could with our precious cargo, Lulu keeping up with me, watching over her.

We ran inside into the incredibly large and elaborately decorated area, running for a smaller door, equally intricate looking door on the right, tucked just behind the huge staircase that served as the entrance to the Cloister of Trials. Lulu escorted me to a bed and instructed me to lay her down carefully, while she ran off to grab the temple priest. Naturally, I waited with her, clutching her shaking hand tightly for support. I could do nothing to stop her suffering and I couldn't help but see how helpless and useless I was in this situation.

"Tidus…" Yuna squeaked, abruptly shattering my dejection.

I rubbed soothing circles on the top of her hand. "It's alright now. Lulu will be back with help soon." I was having more trouble convincing myself rather than her. "I promise you'll get better. Then we'll take the baby home and…"

"…I'm sorry."

"Yuna—"

"Tidus move!" A voice boomed from behind me, roughly pushing past, dragging me to my feet and pushing me to the doorway. I still had a hold of Yuna's hand, her grip just as strong as mine was amongst all the chaos. She didn't want me to leave either.

"Hey! Just what do you think you are doing?"

"We'll help Yuna," Lulu explained quietly, her lips lowering to level of my ear. "But to do that, we need you out of here. We'll call you when we're done." I heard my wife scream in pain behind me, making me hesitate. I knew that Lulu was not the type of person to mess around with when she was desperate or angry. But I couldn't just leave Yuna here by herself…

"Go!" Lulu shouted, pushing me out past the threshold and promptly slamming the door before I could even turn around. I heard the priest's mumblings and Yuna's yelling, although muffled through the door. I sank to my feet, defeated. I guess I really couldn't help her at all. Instead I would be forced to endure the torturous prospect of waiting. Listening. Hoping.

I don't know how much time passed as I sat there waiting; my heart clenched in the agony of not knowing. Wakka tried several times to talk to me, comfort me…doing everything he could to make me feel better. I wanted to tell him that I was grateful that he was worrying about me, but I couldn't even listen to what he was saying. I couldn't focus on anything other than the fact that Yuna was in there, hurting, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her. Tears slipped down my cheeks as I held back a sniffle. My friend didn't seem to notice.

Eventually Wakka gave up, and I drifted off just somewhere after dawn into a shallow, restless sleep with my head resting on my knees. I don't think it was long, because when I did wake up, it was still quite early in the morning. I wasn't however, woken up the way I had expected…the way I had wanted.

Thinking back on it, it was probably the single most heart shattering thing that had happened to me in my entire life up to that point.

I heard Yuna scream. In pain, yes…but not in the kind I had come to expect. It was somehow so much more menacing…raised in the highly pitched tone of unexpected grief.

And she kept screaming. I heard what sounded like Lulu and the priest trying to calm her, but if anything the sound just continued to get louder. I'd had enough of waiting. Something was terribly wrong…

I stumbled to my feet, still groggy from my brief nap. Instead of knocking I simply opened the door, and stormed in. Immediately, my eyes zoomed in on Yuna's violently trembling body on the bed, and Lulu's vain attempts at calming.

"Yuna…?"

She didn't stop, but the black mage's head snapped up then when she heard me. Her gazed flashed rapidly from the Priests' to mine, signaling to him with a small inclination of her head. He was instantly at my side, trying to escort me forcefully from the room.

"I'm sorry," he said calmly, pushing me further toward the door. "We are not done with the patient yet."

"'The patient'?" I exclaimed in blatant disbelief, "that's my wife in there!"

"I know that Sir, but…" he tried to say quietly, but I had had enough.

"No! No more buts!" I ripped myself away from his side and forced myself back into the room. "Lulu! You'd better tell me what the hell is going on!" I demanded angrily, painfully aware of Yuna still bawling her eyes out on the bed in front of me. She only looked at me, my expression pleading as I tired to ignore my wife momentarily in my search for answers.

She backed away from her adoptive daughter then, her expression enfolding into a mask of sadness and pity. She closed her eyes and looked away, talking just loud enough for me to hear over Yuna's moaning. She didn't say anything for a moment, and I followed her gaze when her lids finally opened. They remained focused on the small bench encircling the large marble pillar in the middle of the room. A small object was the only thing on the table, wrapped carefully in a thick, dark blue cloth in order to conceal its identity.

"What…?"

But then I made the connection, and instantly snapped my head away. "Oh God…" I chocked.

And for some inexplicable reason, Lulu felt the need to clarify my fears of what was under all that material.

"I'm sorry, Tidus…it's dead."

A/N: And so it all begins to progress. Sorry. I know that you all probably hate me after that, but there is a reason I had to do that, which you will find out later on in the story. Most of which, thankfully this time, is already written. I just usually just do a quick edit before posting every week. I left a HUGE hint as to the identity of my 'villain' as such. If you don't know, well, you'll just have to wait and see I guess. :P

Chapter 4: Recovery

Coming next week. Please Review. Enjoy.

Warui-Usagi