Bittersweet Reminiscence: Chapter 5

Missing

"Will you protect me, Tidus?"

"Yes. I always will. Of course."

"Good. Then I promise that I'll protect you as well. I'll do everything I can…"

Yuna…

You may have protected me from harm…but in turn, you've destroyed my home.

Because you were my home…and now, I have no where to go.

I awoke that morning to another day mute of sunlight; the usual rays that burst harshly through the curtains were dull and unfocused. Yuna was already gone, which was nothing suspicious. It did hurt a little though, but that was just the way she was…the way she worked. I could only hope now that, after last night, things might calm down between us. That those barriers that were their before were now gone. But, as is the case with every heroine…things in life were never that simple.

I slumped out of bed and into the kitchen, stumbling all over the place along the way…I never was a morning person—star blitzball player or not. Of course, I usually relied on the cold, brisk water of the sphere pool to wake me up. I didn't have that here in Besaid. For lack of a better word, it was a lazy island, where few people were up before midday. As far as I knew, Yuna was the only one who was up before dawn.

I staggered over towards the fridge, my eyes instantly distracted by a small piece of hideously bright paper attached to its bland surface. I rubbed at them vigorously before reading it.

'Hey sweetheart, I'm going to be late tonight so don't wait up. Yuna.'

Yep, life with Yuna was never that easy.

I scrunched the note up immediately as my fits involuntary clenched in anger. I threw it away quickly, now in absolutely no mood to even think about it. Not caring anymore, I grabbed an apple and threw myself down in a chair, fuming. I nibbled at the crisp skin of the piece of fruit, having suddenly lost my appetite. I honestly couldn't believe her. There was a part of me that wanted to argue that perhaps this had something to with her 'recovery'…maybe burying herself in work was what she really needed to serve as a distraction from what I knew had been a heart scaring experience. But that just meant that she didn't want to talk about her…our problems. They were our problems weren't they? Why did she feel as if she couldn't talk to me about them?

Then that stupid sphere came to mind…and without even thinking about it, I threw my apple hard across the room until it came into contact with a small vase on the kitchen counter, promptly knocking it from its small stand, falling, and smashing into a million pieces. It took me a moment to absorb what I'd just done; staring at its remnants for a few moments before bursting into fits of laughter. I couldn't stop…and I remember exactly why.

It was a vase that Rin had given Yuna the day she told everyone she was pregnant. Ahhh…the irony.

My chuckle was cut short though when I heard the familiar buzzing of a transmission coming through over the Commsphere. I grudgingly rose from my seat, knowing all too well that it could indeed be Yuna…and I was in no mood to speak to her now. Deciding it best to take precautions, I carefully slipped on the switch for the speaker, hoping that maybe if I didn't have to look at her, hopefully…I would be able to keep myself under control.

"Hello?" I asked warily over the speaker.

"Yuna?" Squeaked an all too familiar voice…she sounded urgent…worried.

"No it's Tidus," I replied, my throat instantly loosening. "What's up?"

"Is Yuna with you?" There was that desperation again. She spoke swiftly, and it took me awhile to realize what she'd said. I also distinctly noticed that she said 'Yuna' instead of 'Yunie', so something had to have happened.

"No," I said, surprised. "Why? Is something wrong?"

Rikku let out a shaky breath before explaining. "Well…I feel kinda bad for hearing this from Baralai, but he told me that Yuna had a…uh…that the baby died," her voice was a whisper now and I found it very difficult to hear her over the speakers static. She was obviously watching her words around me, probably thinking that I was just as upset as Yuna was. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't, I was just better at hiding it. To be perfectly honest, I was more concerned about Yuna's reaction…that actual baby hadn't crossed my thoughts in the last 24 hours.

"Anyway," she started, interrupting my train of thought. "She was supposed to meet me fro lunch today to discuss some…" she cut herself off suddenly, quickly editing something out of her sentence that I clearly wasn't supposed to know, "stuff…and she didn't turn up. I've been waiting here for over an hour! At first I thought that she was just late, but then I remembered that it was never like Yuna to be late…she'd only be late if something bad happened…so that's why I called—to see if she was okay."

I was stunned to say the least. For once, Rikku had managed to make a valid point that was almost impossible to argue. Yuna really was never late to anything…something very bad would have to happen for her to just not turn up, especially for something work-related. This wasn't just a colleague of hers calling either…this was Rikku—her best friend. She knew my wife just as well as I did…that made the matter even more suspicious. The whole idea of something very bad happening to Yuna almost had me hyperventilating over the speaker.

"You're right," I admitted regrettably, pinching the bridge of my nose in-between my fingers and taking deep breaths…trying to calm down. Less than five minutes ago, I had deemed myself too angry to even look at her. Now, she was all I wanted to see—her slender form waltzing casually through the door and meeting me in the kitchen, completely unharmed, simply admitting that she'd forgotten all about her lunch date with Rikku with that same beautiful smile that I loved.

It didn't happen.

I tried to think. "Where was she going before she was supposed to meet you? Surely you know her schedule."

"Uhhh…" I heard Rikku scrambling through what sounded like a folder; she was flipping paper at a frantic pace, almost tearing them.

"Well?" I prompted, quickly becoming impatient.

"Haha!" She'd obviously found the information she was looking for. "It says here that before she promised to meet me for lunch, she had actually planned to go and see Rin this morning."

I couldn't stop myself now. "What!" I heard Rikku shriek away from the inter-com, she'd obviously not expected me to scream over the speaker. I immediately forced myself to calm down. "Sorry," I apologized in a much more subdued tone. I flicked on the screen then, and watched Rikku check to make sure her hearing was still working. To my surprise, she was in exactly the same place where she had recorded that 'private' sphere for Yuna. I unconsciously growled.

"Ti? What's up with the whole 'trying-to-make-me-deaf' thing?" She accused sarcastically, glowering at me through the screen. I instantly regretted turning the thing on because now she could see me face and although I couldn't see it myself, I knew that it was probably plainly apparent that something was bothering me.

She looked around suspiciously before whispering, "did you and Yunie have a fight?"

"No!" I hissed, and she instinctively flinched away from the venom in my voice. I saw the pained expression on her face and instantly repented. "Well, we kind of did, but that's not really why I'm angry." I threw my head into my hands, closing my eyes to block out this hideous nightmare of a situation. I suddenly wished that I could wake up in bed; with Yuna lying next to me…that euphoric smile creeping on her lips as her beautiful eyes fluttered open to greet mine. I remember…

"Hey," she croaked, her voice still raw from all of her speeches yesterday at the stadium. She'd just been promoted as a new 'leader' of sorts, but not really. She looked tired and groggy, her hair sticking out like a spiky haystack strewn all over the place. I stifled a giggle…she always did move a lot when she slept. Then, that glorious smile lit up her face, and I couldn't help but feel gratified at how truly beautiful she really was.

"Hey there haystack head," I teased, rolling over to kiss her cheek. A chuckle bubbled up from her throat and I stayed there simply listening, committing the wonderful sound to memory. It sounded so happy…so pure.

"Well you'd look like this too if you worked as I hard as I had to last night," she shot back in a mockingly outrageous tone.

"Are you implying that I don't work hard? Being a star a Blitzball is harder than it looks ya know. And then all that sitting around, sleeping and eating I hafta do afterwards can really kill you, y'know."

She looked stunned for a moment, because I sounded serious. Then she burst out into a belly laugh, unable to stop. I gasped in overly exaggerated horror. "Are you making fun of me?"

But she only laughed harder. "You're so stupid…" she gasped in-between ragged breaths.

"Hey!" I grabbed a hold of her wrists, trying to stop her thrashing about on the bed, feeling rather degraded by her name-calling. "That's not funny."

Again she just kept laughing, "yes it is and you know it!"

"Fine…don't stop making fun of me. But you'll just have to pay the consequences," I growled playfully, leaning over her horizontal form. She snickered at the suggestion. "Oh really? And what would they be?"

She was egging me on, I knew. "I'll just have to tickle you," I beamed, unable to stop from laughing myself.

I began running my fingers lightly over her exposed skin, enjoying watching her flinch, giggle and gasp as she tried in vain to push my hands out of the way. I think I was giggling just as much as she was. It wasn't long before she gave in.

"Okay, okay," she wheezed, still fidgeting, "what do I have to do to get you to show some mercy?"

I smiled in victory. "Kiss me."

"Why on earth would I do that?"

I kept poking at her sensitive skin until she surrendered. "Alright! Alright!"

Her lips flew at me with rapid speed, so fast that I swore our heads were going to collide. They didn't…before I knew what happened, there she was, her lips attacking mine, both giving in to the haze of passion that engulfed us…never wanting to let go.

"Tidus…"

That day, we didn't get out of bed.

"Tidus?" Rikku asked, snapping me out of my pleasant reverie. "Are you okay? You look kinda pale from where I'm standin'."

"I'm fine Rikku," I hedged, probably sounding rather un-convincing, but thankfully, she didn't feel the need to question me further.

"Anyway," she was still watching me carefully, but I gave her my full attention. "I think I have an idea, although I don't know if Yuna would want me to give it to you…"

Of course I was curious. "Give what to me?"

She looked at me, deliberating…almost as if she was having an internal dilemma with her choice. "Well, you see…Yunie has this 'special' box of things where she keeps a whole bunch of different stuff—spheres, letters, reports, objects that mean a lot to her. Stuff like that. Maybe we could look in there for clues."

I wasn't prepared to hear that. "She had a 'special' box and I didn't know about it? What's she trying to hide from me this time?"

"No, no!" Rikku was instantly contrite. "Don't get the wrong idea Tidus! Yunie loved…"—she stopped abruptly, swallowing hard—"Yunie loves you…she wasn't trying to keep secrets from you. All girls have some kind of little box where they store stuff away that's important to them."

'Yeah right…'

I couldn't think of a suitable response to that which didn't involve me replying with some sort of heavy sarcasm. "Oh."

"So ummm…I'll bring it over for you to look through this afternoon okay?" The uncertainty and worry was creeping back into her voice and I knew exactly why.

"Hey, don't worry Rikku. We'll find her," I promised…although, I had more trouble convincing myself with that notion.

She smiled. "Thanks, Ti. I'll see you soon!" And with that the sphere screen went blank.

I didn't get a chance to reflect very much on our conversation. Almost as soon as the hyperactive blonde hung up, a bellowing knock came on my front door; bell like echo's that sounded throughout the whole house. It was amazing how quickly I seemed to notice how empty this house felt without a family.

I was quite shocked when I answered it; the familiar form of a certain black mage appearing in front of me. I tried to greet her happily despite my dejection. "Lulu? What's up?"

"Nothing…" she said immediately, but her eyes told a different story. I knew she wanted to talk to me about something. I stepped aside wordlessly, allowing her to come inside, shutting the door behind me carefully. It was freezing outside after all. The rainy season seemed to be starting earlier this year I noticed belatedly.

"So…it's obvious that you wanted to talk to me about something seeing as you came inside."

Her voice was almost inaudible when she answered. "Yes. I thought it best to talk to you about it seeing as Yuna isn't here."

"Hmmm…" I bit my lip. She didn't need to know about her just yet, I rationalized. Better to actually confirm something's happened to her first then to whip Lulu up into a frenzy.

"I'm just going to ask you outright seeing as there is no other way of saying it," she spoke almost so fast that I had a hard time keeping up with her. "Yuna promised me that she'd tell you, and I need to know if she has…because it's important and I'm worried."

"Shoot."

"Did Yuna tell you exactly why she had a miscarriage?"

"No," there was an undercurrent to her question that I didn't understand. "I just assumed that it was a complication that occurred during the birth—"

"Tidus," she interrupted firmly, her expression intense. "The baby didn't die of complications; it died from the intervention of a…an outside source."

She was being more than a little cryptic. "What do you mean?"

"It drowned," she stated bluntly. "In an unknown, black liquid substance…I'm worried because I think Yuna knows what exactly caused it and she won't tell me. I thought perhaps you knew…"

I was too bewildered to speak, so I just shook my head.

Lulu sighed in frustration. "I can't stand her keeping secrets like this. I thought that after the pilgrimage, things would finally be different. Can't you talk to her?"

This, thankfully, was one question that I could answer without having to carefully compose a believable lie. "I've already tried. She won't quit…not now. Not ever." Pain shot through my chest just thinking about her…so I quickly changed the subject before it registered on my face. "So…uh…what do you know about the black liquid?"

"Not much," she admitted. She turned to me then, a wistful smile on her purple painted lips. "I'm so sorry I had to bring this up. I know how much it must hurt. I'm so worried about Yuna…she's just…switched off. I don't know how else to describe it." She looked away from me for a moment, her crimson eyes staring out past the forest setting outside the window, lost in thought.

"Do you know what she said to me, just after the whole ordeal?"

"No."

Lulu smiled, although it wasn't one of feeling. "She said 'I'm jealous of you, Lulu…'"

I shook my head. "I don't understand…why would she say that?"

She looked at me then, a sympathetic look in her eyes. "You know, I have no idea," she mused, dubious. "But I wish I did. The possibilities of what she meant are certainly keeping me up at night, worrying."

I didn't say anything, and the silence seemed to drag on uncomfortably, neither of us able to voice our worries to each other then. Finally, Lulu decided to speak up. "Well, I'll report to you if I find out anything." Her words hinted at her departure and to be honest, I was grateful that she was leaving. I didn't want her to be here when Rikku was here…that'd just complicate things.

"Okay, thanks Lulu." She left without another word, and I suddenly wondered if Yuna's disappearance had anything to do with that 'black liquid' the black mage had mentioned. I slumped back into the kitchen, depressed as I fell, exhausted into a chair. I was panicking now, realizing that there was even more that Yuna was keeping from me. It almost sounded as if she was leading a double life away from home. That thought unnerved me more that it should have.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting there, fretting like a helpless child without their mother. Eventually, Rikku showed up just as it was getting dark, and I mentally noted that the Al Bhed seemed just as depressed as I was.

"Hey," she offered weakly as she came into the kitchen. She smiled slightly, "I hope you don't mind; I kinda let myself in." She pulled out a chair and sat down delicately, placing a medium sized, wooden box down on the checkered cloth covering out kitchen table. It was beautiful—very Yuna, I noted. The golden swirls embroidered into the dark mahogany were particularly entrancing.

I asked the obvious. "This it?"

"Yeah," Rikku replied solemnly. "I've never seen inside it; I just remember watching her put it away one night…I knew I wasn't supposed to see, but I did." She did sound guilty. The normally hyper girl got to her feet then, about to walk out of the room. I gave her a puzzled look. "Where are you going?"

She sighed. "Like I said, I wasn't supposed to see. In there is Yuna's things—her memories…and yours. It's none of my business." She sounded disappointed, and I knew that she was fighting to curb her curiosity, though it was from idle. I admired her in that moment—it just went to show how much respect she held for her cousin, and just how much she loved her.

"Thanks," I whispered, and my voice was fervent with gratitude.

She simply grinned, but then her expression turned serious. "You better tell me if you find anything useful," she warned. "I'll be at Lulu's if you need me."

"Okay," I agreed, and watched her go.

When I heard the door close, I opened the box carefully, almost hesitantly as my fingers undid the small, simple lock on the front. The first thing that my eyes focus on, were the photos, placed face down. I immediately took them out, flipping them over to see what they displayed. My face, despite my sadness broke into a beaming smile at the sight; tears gathering in the corners of my eyes.

They were of our wedding…

We almost seemed like the surreal couple, looking at that picture. Both of us smiling widely, eyes sparkling with excitement about our future; each with high expectations and certainty of happiness…we would never have guessed then, that our lives would take such a negative turn…now, a year down the track…everything seemingly falling apart. I forced myself to wipe the water in my eyes away, and focus on finding out where my wife could be. I found several notes and things…and I planned to go through them later; right now I was looking for anything that was particularly eye-catching.

My breath caught in my throat when I found a pair of something small, blue and knitted of wool…

"Whatcha up to in here?" I asked, finding her curled up on a beanbag with a small, thin blanket draped over her knees. She was in out baby's then-to-be-nursery, happily humming to herself as wound a pale blue thread around a pair of needles.

She smiled up at me, excited. "I'm knitting out baby some woolen boots," she held them up for me to examine. "What do you think? Aren't they adorable?"

"Very," I agreed with a nod of my head.

"I'm so excited to finally be a mother…something I thought I'd never get to do…especially when I started my pilgrimage…" she trailed off, lost in thought as she re-commenced her project, humming again. The tune was unfamiliar…yet sweet and lulling all the same.

I giggled. "Did you write that?"

She stopped, looking up at me, that same, euphoric smile adorning her lips. "I did," she announced proudly, "it'll be our baby's lullaby." She resumed the singing and I couldn't help but adore her right then. She's thought of everything to do for our baby…it made me realized just how much she wanted this life. I was so happy, then…simply because she was.

I was dimly aware of the color of the thread out of the corner of my eye. "Hey, aren't you being slightly biased there?" I said as I approached her, bending down a picking up the string that traveled across the carpet. "What if it's a girl?"

She sighed, pretending to be offended. "A girl can wear blue, too you know. Besides, I like blue…blue's calm."

I decided to have some fun. "Oh I don't know…" I trailed off, and she took the bait—she did to an extent, turning around and rolling her eyes at me before speaking. "Are you sure that's all blue is?" I prompted, watching her blush the instant the words came out of my mouth. She whirled around to face me, and not-so-playfully slapped me on the shoulder.

"What?" I asked innocently, "I was just saying…you told me that blue was your favorite color of something else once," I reminded her. "I was just perhaps wondering if that blue…let's say…oh I don't know…facial feature…had given you any inspiration for said boots." I pointed at them, and watched as she fought to repress a smile.

"Maybe," she suggested lightly whilst shrugging. "I love you…"

"No! You can't get out of it that easily!" I protested, "you have to tell me why they're blue!" She ignored me though, setting her project down carefully in her lap and entwining her arms around my neck, pulling me close. My eyes however didn't miss the vivid crimson splashed across her cheeks as she nuzzled her head into my chest.

I heard her intake of breath. "You win," she sighed, her voice muffled by my shirt. "You know I've always loved your eyes."

"Thought so!" I laughed, drawing her in closer…but then I decided to be serious for a moment.

"I love you too. Very much."

And we stayed like that all afternoon.

Sorting through the rest of the box's contents, I managed to find some other small objects and ornaments that I didn't recognize, as well as many postcards and letters that ranged from fan-mail to simply business letters.

A piece of cardboard at the bottom, hidden under everything else caught my attention, however. It was torn; obviously the other piece was somewhere else. On one side was an advertisement written in Al Bhed…I couldn't make anything much of it; the little of the language I knew had faded from my mind, as I had never really needed to use it since coming back. I noticed the pictures of machina and pyreflies and I was instantly curious. I would have Rikku translate it for me later. On the back, however, I noticed only a few words written in Yuna's easily recognizable and elegant script—a person's name it seemed…or two names…I couldn't tell.

Keika was one; a name that I didn't recognize, as well as one that sounded vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't place it. Keiyakku.

Then it snapped.

Wasn't Keiyakku that Al Bhed guy Rikku tried to save when the Guado were burning down Home three years ago, whilst searching for Yuna? But, wasn't he dead? This was written recently too, and he died ages ago…why would Yuna have his name on the back of an advertisement now?

Another small piece of paper slipped from the pile in my lap, and I automatically picked it up, and started reading as it lay unfolded. This one was a letter.

My Dearest Yuna,

You have hurt me more than you know; taking something from me and in return, not keeping your word, even though you promised me faithfully. You still have not returned the document either. I can only demand that you do so as quickly as possible. The only plausible explanation I can think of for your deceit is that perhaps you are running…from what I don't know, but I would be willing to run with you, to the other side of the universe…if you would only throw in that pathetic excuse of a marriage.

I love you…

Rin

I threw everything in the box then, and dashed out the door, running towards Lulu's place in search of Rikku.

It was then that I definitely knew that Yuna was missing…drowning in some kind of conspiracy that had perhaps gotten too far out of hand…

Perhaps she wasn't just missing either…maybe she was…

No I told myself. I wouldn't even think about that; I was her guardian…and I would get there in time to save her. That was it.

"Yuna…" I whispered to myself so low that even I barely heard.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time…?"

A/N: Sorry for the delay people—a girl's got to do her exams. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I'm looking forward to having three weeks of uninterrupted writing time, so updates should be coming quite quickly. I wanted to post this almost about four days ago, but fanfiction wouldn't let me upload it because of all the traffic on this site.

Chapter 6: 'Mysteries' up in a few days.

Warui-Usagi