Jen: HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE'S DAY! Yay! I actually got three whole valentines! That's beating my record by two valentines! Sigh…I sound so pathetic…
Anyway, welcome chapter 16 of A LITTLE TOO PERSONAL! Today I have a very special guest here to introduce the chapter. Everyone give a big round of applause to………
BEAST BOY!
Beast Boy: What up dowgs!
(crickets)
Beast Boy: Don't be hatin'!
Jen: Okay, then. Thank you Beast Boy! I'll ask you to speak again once you stop trying to act like a gangster.
Beast Boy: Yo, that's cold G. But we're still ice, Jen. Catch ya on the flip side!
Jen: …
Right. Well, on the most depressing part of writing fan fiction…
Disclaimer: Like, omigod, did you hear about how Jen813, like, doesn't own Teen Titans?
Like, no way!
Like, yes way!
Omigod!
I know, can you, like, believe it?
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I am so demented…
So with no more preamble, I give you:
Birdbrain and Bossy Prude: The World's Biggest Idiots
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Alyssa gave him a sort of sad stare. Holding up another box she said, "More chocolate?"
It was just what Robin needed.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Starfire was in shock.
Starfire was hurt.
But mostly, Starfire was in tears.
She had been wandering around, innocently searching for Robin, for the past hour and a half. She had paged Beast Boy, who looked unusually irritated to see her. He said that no, he hadn't seen Robin for most of the day. Directly after speaking with him, Star had beeped Raven, who also looked rather annoyed at the young redhead's call. Raven stated that no, she had not seen Robin. Before Starfire could even get the words out, Raven told her no, she wouldn't turn into her soul self to see what he was doing.
Glork mod'r, Starfire had thought anxiously. Where could he be?
Cyborg looked distressed when she called him. He was pushing hands away from his head, then a baseball bat was tossed at him and he started shouting threats. The bat was yanked from his hand and a flash of colors leaped on him before he could answer Star's question.
Bambi, Emily, and Boris had nearly run her over in the hall. She didn't even get the chance to ask them anything.
Mike was moseying down the hall. They both looked at each other and scurried to meet one another.
"Have you seen Robin?"
"Have you seen Alyssa?"
They had blinked at each other. Robin and Alyssa were probably together, they agreed, though neither of them would admit that that notion made them slightly worried. Side by side, they searched for them.
They reached Robin's door, which was ajar. Mike stepped in before Starfire and his eyes widened. Wait, don't! he had told her, grabbing her to try to stop her from looking.
She gasped.
Robin.
Alyssa.
Together.
Alyssa…that…that glempork!
Both were sound asleep in Robin's bed. Alyssa was snuggled against Robin's chest. His arms were wrapped around her small frame. Chocolate wrappers were everywhere.
Robin's eyes opened slowly. He caught a glance of Starfire and he was sitting straight up, causing Alyssa to roll off him. She made an odd gurgling sound. She received a sharp poke from Robin and yelped, snapping awake, "What in the name of--"
Alyssa gazed in the direction that Robin's shaky finger was pointing. Starfire was leaning forward, her mouth agape in shock. Mike's arms were wrapped around her waist and her…her--
Starfire suddenly seemed to notice the inappropriate places his hands were touching and shoved him off. Mike stumbled in a few moments later, still recovering from being thrust all the way down the hall.
Everyone stared at everyone else.
"Starfire…"
"Robin?"
"Alyssa--"
"Michel!"
Alyssa stood up rigidly and let out an exasperated breath. With a glance at Mike that rivaled Raven's dark side, she smoothed the thin cotton of her sweater. She scurried out of the room with long jerky strides, the muscles in her legs tense.
Starfire put her face in her hands. Robin made to get up, but Michel pounced on him. They rolled off the bed and Starfire screamed. Robin easily kicked Mike off of him with a well aimed roundhouse, just as Alyssa stormed back in for her glasses. Her eyes widened at the sight of the two teens wrestling on the floor, Mike having leapt on Robin once again.
"Stop it!" She shouted, "Stop fighting!"
Starfire timidly looked up, "No! Do not! Robin!"
It was the "Robin" that did it. The Boy Wonder looked at Starfire for a millisecond, his mask and mouth wide. Mike's fist struck his jaw and he toppled over himself. Starfire cried out something in Tameranian and threw herself at Robin before Mike could get another punch in. Robin, however, far from hurt to the point where he could not continue, dodged Starfire completely and aimed a bird-a-rang at Mike.
He would have been hit if it wasn't for Alyssa, who immediately jumped into the fray to push Mike out of the way. They bumped noses accidentally, both blushing despite the rather desperate situation. Alyssa promptly shoved herself away from Mike, only land on Starfire. Both girls shrieked as the boys lunged at both of them. Under the dog pile of upset teens a small but distinct crack was heard.
Mike pushed himself off Robin, who rolled off of Starfire, who floated away from Alyssa, who was lying on her back. Shakily, Alyssa turned to look beneath her. Tears streamed down her face as she picked up her now broken glasses. Stifling a sob, she wiped her nose and gently put them on.
"Well," Her voice was high-pitched and laden with cracks, "I've found my glasses."
She turned and left silently.
Mike immediately jumped up to follow her, slipping and sliding on his way out, "'Lissy! Wait!"
Starfire and Robin looked at each other.
She was the first to speak, "Y-you and Alyssa--"
"Me and Alyssa? What about you and Mike?"
"Please, I do not know what you are talking about--"
"Starfire, please." Robin said sadly, "Just…go."
Her expression looked as if she had just been ripped in two. Her eyes on the floor, she walked past him and stepped from the room. Robin looked at the door for a long time, wondering if what had just happened had really happened. He received confirmation when he reached up to brush tears off his chin and the ache of what damage Mike's fist did stung both his body and his pride.
He sat down dejectedly.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Mike dashed after Alyssa, panting due the incredible speed he had to maintain in order to keep up with her, "Wait up! Come back! 'Lissy!"
Alyssa jerked to a halt, facing him so fast he nearly ran into her, "Alyssa. My name is Alyssa!"
"Please, just stop crying." He said, "We can--"
"I AM NOT CRYING!" She screamed as tears streamed down her cheeks, "I would sooner die than admit to being upset over you!"
His eyes narrowed, "Well, good! Because last time I asked you, we were 'not allowed to develop any more than a business relationship, due to the circumstances.'"
Alyssa winced at his ridiculously accurate imitation of a section of one of the many speeches she had given him. Why did he have to listen to that particular speech? It wasn't like his mind registered anything else that came out of her mouth, "What did you expect? You were madly infatuated--no," She corrected herself, "unbelievably aroused by Starfire."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"It has everything to do with anything!" She took a shaky breath, though her voice only revealed anger, "I could not be interested in you if you were too busy ogling Starfire to pay me any attention. When you had your arms wrapped around her, I realized--at that precise moment--that I couldn't have you. Not truly anyway. You'll never commit to a single woman."
"I'm not like that!"
"Yes, you are!" She shouted trembling with emotion, "You are a shallow, underhanded, dispassionate, overly hormonal jerk with no concern whatsoever toward other people's feelings!"
He straightened his back, making sure he was at full height before responding, "So what? You don't think it gets on my nerves that you're a bossy prude? Well, it does!"
"You have no right to call me names after what you did!"
"You're just jealous!"
"Me? Jealous of you?"
"Yeah!"
"HOW?"
"BECAUSE I CAN GET WITH A HOTTIE AND YOU CAN'T!"
"I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU MICHEL FORMER: 'GETTING WITH' SOMEONE IS A LONG WAY AWAY FROM ACTUALLY LOVING THEM!"
"THEN IT'S A GOOD THING I NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH YOU, ISN'T IT? BECAUSE LOVE IS ABOUT THE FARTHEST THIS I FEEL FOR YOU!"
"FINALLY, SOMETHING WE AGREE ON! I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU!"
Mike made to turn away from her angrily, but a small fist grasped the sleeve of his oversized t-shirt. Alyssa spun him around, her expression livid. She was more furious than Mike had ever seen her. Her nostrils flared, her face was flushed, she was panting breaths of rage. Suddenly, the broken glass clinging to the frames of her glasses looked very sharp, and Mike worried what would happen if Alyssa decided to use it as a weapon.
Alyssa let out a cry of fury and pushed Mike against the wall.
Mike braced himself for whatever she was going to do. This is it, he thought, She's going to kill me or fire me or both…
The fire in Alyssa's eyes developed into a raging inferno as she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his.
Everything thing was a blur of passion and fierceness and Alyssa, and Mike completely forgot what he had been doing at any time before that moment. Her fists had bunched up the cloth around his shoulders…her lips were so demanding…all of her was pressed against him…
Then, just as quickly as she had rendered him speechless with her kiss, she pushed herself off of him. With a final seething glance and her fists clenched, she stormed out of the hall, obviously ready to murder anyone who dared cross her path.
Silence.
Mike's knees gave out and he sank to the floor. That was the most amazing kiss he had ever shared with anyone. He…he couldn't…think…
Wait…stop! She had to come back!
Oh crap. Oh crap! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!
She had to know! He had to tell her how he felt. What was it she had been shouting about that one time? Something about emotions…love and hate! That was it! She had said that love and hate are close on the emotion wheel because they both involve extreme feeling. They are not opposites, contrary to popular belief, she had said. Her next words rang in his ears…
"Occasionally, they can be one in the same."
Mike sprang up from his spot on the floor and trucked down the hall in the direction she had gone.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Robin needed a place to think. He knew, he knew, that Starfire had gone to the roof to deal with this whole thing, but he couldn't talk to her. Not yet. It was still so painful.
Since the roof was out, he opted to stay in his room. He locked the door with a sigh. He walked over to the bed and sank down on the cushiony mattress.
He let his eyes drift closed.
Part of him wanted nothing more than to run up to the rooftop and fling himself at Starfire, to hug her and kiss her and be with her and tell her that it didn't matter what had happened between her and Mike. He still loved her, after all, and that was all that mattered. He would be happy to except her apology and then they would fly off into the sunset.
Yet, though this thought was enjoyed by all parts of his mind, body and spirit, his mind and body refused to be persuaded to move and his spirit simply locked himself in his room, promptly telling anyone who bothered him to sod off. Most of him didn't even want to give Star a chance to explain her self. After all, a fact was a fact. He had seen Mike with his hands wrapped around her…well, to put it bluntly, breasts.
And anyway, Robin had heard Cyborg and Mike talking about Starfire and his secret love affair. Cyborg was hardly ever oblivious and he never made assumptions, so he had to be correct. Plus, it was obvious that Mike had been madly in love with Starfire ever since he first laid eyes on her.
Robin flipped over onto his stomach, groaning.
Great going Rich, he mentally chided. No wonder Batman never attempted a relationship with a fellow heroine--he'd get himself killed. If Red X was to break the door down and brutally attack Robin at that very instant, he was sure he wouldn't care. He might just lie there and take the beating actually. He felt so depressed…
Though sleep was obviously not going to grace him with its presence, it was still slightly comforting to lie on the cushy mattress of the bed.
Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.
Beep, beep, boop, beep.
BOOM! Creeeaaak. BOOM!
Robin jerked upright, rubbing his eyes furiously. Alyssa stood before him, fists clenched, ears steaming, trembling with rage. She took three deep pants before screaming at the top of her lungs:
"THAT…THAT GREAT INSENSITIVE BASTARD!"
Well, that certainly woke him up. He had never heard Alyssa use a derogatory term before.
"Alyssa, what--"
"OF ALL THE THINGS, ROBIN! OF ALL THE THINGS HE'S DONE AND IS GOING TO DO, THIS ONE--THIS ONE JUST…JUST TAKES THE CAKE!" She let out an extremely loud angry sound of some sort, "I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM FOR THIS! I REFUSE TO EVEN GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN HIMSELF! IN FACT, I THINK I'LL GET HIM FIRED! YES, FIRED! SEE HOW HE LIKES TO BE THE ONE GETTING THE SHOCK OF HIS LIFE!"
So. She had gone off the deep end. Robin tried, several times, to calm her down, but she was in such a fit of fury that she scarcely heard him.
"Why don't you--"
"I SAW HIM GROPE HER!" Alyssa continued, shouting as if she needed to get these words out or she would die, "I SAW WHERE HIS HANDS WERE! DOES HE THINK I'M STUPID? DOES HE HONESTLY THINK I WOULD BUY AN 'I'M NOT LIKE THAT'? WELL, HE IS SADLY MISTAKEN IF HE DOES!"
"Alys--"
"AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? YOU HEARD HIM AND CYBORG CONVERSING, YOU HEARD WHAT HE SAID! IF THAT ISN'T PROOF, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!"
Whoa. That was odd. That little statement was more or less what Robin had been thinking before, but when it was actually said out loud it sounded really stupid. There could have easily been a misunderstanding--Robin could have heard wrong. Come to think of it, Robin never heard Mike or Cyborg say "Starfire."
She continued, "IT'S SO OBVIOUS HE'S BEEN COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH HER SINCE HE GOT THIS JOB! TO EVEN HINT AT THE POSSIBILITY OF NOT WANTING TO BE WITH HER IS…IS…I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!"
But Mike wasn't hinting at the possibility that he didn't want to be with Starfire, he was outright saying he didn't want to be. Starfire had also denied that they ever had anything going on. Perhaps the real possibility here was that they were telling the truth?
"NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY GLORIA ALLRED IS NO LONGER MARRIED! TO EVEN ATTEMPT A RELATIONSHIP NOWADAYS IS SELF-CONFIDENCE SUICIDE!" Alyssa suddenly dropped to the ground, wincing slightly as she landed on her knees. She brought a hand up to her face, "But the worst part is that I don't care anymore. I just…" She took her broken glasses off and looked up at Robin brokenheartedly, "I just want…to lie down…for awhile…"
Robin gaped, but still hoisted himself off of the bed and helped her up. She was biting back sobs as tears dripped down her face, sparkling as they hit the sheets of the bed. Alyssa was gasping as if she hadn't breathed in a week. She laid down and quickly pulled the covers over her face.
Robin barely heard her muffled voice, "You must think I've gone off the deep end."
Robin was surprised that she was allowing him to talk, "I, er--"
"It's so difficult to accept that they're together…Ugh, I'm sorry you had to witness that."
Alyssa really wasn't all that different from a regular teenager when Robin thought about it. She was like they all were: she tried to come off as in control, she liked boys, and she got her heart broken sometimes. Mental blocks and walls aside, she was just trying to deal with life. Particularly the Mike aspect of life. Her and Robin were a lot more alike than either was willing to admit.
"No, it's alright." Robin said, sitting next to the lump that was her and awkwardly patting her back.
She sniffled.
"Have you ever," Robin began, "considered that maybe I…heard wrong?"
"What?"
"That perhaps Starfire and Mike were never together?"
Her puffy eyes appeared, "What do you--?"
"I mean, we never really asked them what had been going on, did we?" Robin found himself unable to control his rambling, "Yeah, we saw Mike touching her but-but they found us in bed together! Isn't that worse? Star caught me sleeping next to you in a bed and she was willing to let me explain myself. And I…I didn't even give her a chance."
"But you heard Cyborg and Mike talking!"
There was a loud knock at the door, "Alyssa I know you're in there!" It was Mike.
"Go away!" Alyssa yelled.
"No--" Robin started.
"Stay away from me, Michel! I don't ever want to talk to you again!"
To Robin's utter surprise, Mike stopped. The shuffling of footsteps was heard.
Robin yanked the covers off of Alyssa, "Hey--"
"Go after him!" Robin shouted frantically.
"What?"
"Alyssa," his mask was very wide almost as if he was scared, "I never heard Mike say Starfire's name. Mike said if he hadn't applied for this job he would have never met the girl he likes."
"Right, Starfire."
"No! Don't you see? He said that it's hard to get her attention because she's always around me."
"Starfire is always around you."
"I wish." Robin said before he could stop himself, "Who is the one person who is with me more than Star is? Think about it. Who?"
Alyssa looked puzzled for a moment before her eyes widened as she began to understand, "…Me…"
Robin nodded, "Yes. Mike said that he was afraid that the girl that he likes might like me, but since Starfire was already my girlfriend, he couldn't have been talking about her. He must have been talking about--"
"--me."
"Next Cyborg said that everyone can tell that she likes Mike, but Starfire's never shown any interest in him. The only person who has shown any sort of emotion towards him is--"
"--me."
"And the only girl I've noticed that likes Mike is--"
"--me."
"It all makes sense! That's what Cyborg meant when he said that the girl that likes Mike wanted privacy and wouldn't hit on him when I was around. It wasn't because she wanted to hide a secret love affair, it was because I'm her boss! And the only person who works for me is my assistant. And that's--"
"--me." Alyssa finished.
Robin half-laughed, "Which means that the only person Mike is in love with is--"
Alyssa gasped, "--me!"
They sat in silence for a few moments until, "Oh Robin, we're both such enormous idiots!"
Robin nearly flew to the door, "I have to talk to Star--"
"Wait!" Alyssa said, "She's not on the roof."
"What? Where else would she be?"
"I'm sorry, I should have told you. I've got all the Titans bugged."
"You what?"
"I know, I know, I shouldn't. But according to my tracking system," Alyssa produced a small side-kick-looking gadget a pressed a few buttons, "Starfire's on the moon."
"What?"
"Of Jupiter."
"WHAT?"
"Stop saying 'what' and go after her."
Despite this new and unusual information, Robin prepared to bolt out the door.
"Wait!" Alyssa shouted again, "Jupiter's got 63 moons."
Paying no attention to Alyssa's earlier demand, he shouted, "WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING?"
"Unfortunately, no."
"Well which one is she on?" He cried hysterically.
"Uh…uh…I…don't know! But it doesn't--"
"What?"
"For the love of God, Robin, stop saying 'what!' I can't remember what it's called. Oh, dammit, it starts with an A…but you can just--"
"Don't curse, and gimme that!" Robin snatched the tracking device out of her hands and glanced at its screen. There was a green grid with small dots. "Which dot is she?"
"The one with an 'S' next to it, birdbrain. And 'gimme' is not a word. Why don't you--"
"Don't mock me. Can't you look up what moon it is or something?"
"Yes I can, but--"
"Then do it!" Robin paused, "Wait a second. It doesn't matter what the moon is called--the coordinates are already known! Alyssa!"
"That's what I've been trying to--!"
"It doesn't matter. I'm taking this with me. Make sure Raven knows where I am." He stepped from the room faster than Alyssa could register. His head was poking back in before she could even sigh, "Oh, and good luck with Mike."
Many words came to Alyssa's mind: infuriating and interrupting were among the loudest, but she uttered only two syllables. "Thank you." She hugged Robin before she even knew what she was doing. As she pulled away, Robin mustered a smile before running down the hall.
Alyssa shook her head at the sight of him looking so helpless, yet so determined, sprinting down the hall, then stopping and waiting for the elevator. He soon grew impatient and opted for the stairs. Alyssa giggled as the elevator doors slid open just as the door to the stairwell closed.
She then took out her extra tracking system and looked for Mike's dot. His location was almost as unusual as Starfire's. Alyssa double-checked the coordinates three times before accepting that no, the small gadget wasn't malfunctioning. He was really there.
But what in the world was he doing in the library?
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
"No I can't built a rocket ship that will take you to one of Jupiter's moons today! That would take weeks! You know that, Robin."
"But the T-Car has a rocket feature, doesn't it?"
"Rob, the T-Car is my baby. I would never in a million years let you drive--"
"Starfire's on one of those moons, Cyborg!"
"Huh? Is she alright? Why is she there?"
"We had a fight and--look, it doesn't matter. She's there and she's sad and I really need to tell her that I was wrong and I need her to come home--"
"Say that again."
"We had a fight."
"After that."
"I need her to come home."
"Before that."
"I was wrong."
"Let me get this straight, Rob. You are willingly admitting that you were wrong about something?"
"Yes. Just let me take the T-Car and--"
"Wow. Is this, uh, the kind of thing that only you and Starfire can be involved in?"
"Yeah."
The jingle of keys.
"Thank you Cyborg!"
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Alyssa strode into the library quickly after tossing a one hundred dollar bill at her cab driver and murmuring, "Keep the change." She instantly spotted Mike at a nearby table reading a book. She sat down in the chair across from him.
Mike looked up. His eyebrows shot up.
"Hello Michel."
A loud shush cam from the librarian.
Alyssa winced.
"What do you want?" Mike whispered.
"I just wanted to say--"
"Shhhh!" The librarian implored.
"--wanted to say," she whispered, "that you shouldn't have been groping Starfire, but I'm prepared to let you explain yourself."
"Me explain myself?"
"Hush over there!"
"Yes."
"You're the one I caught in bed with Robin!"
A few heads turned their way and the librarian began walking toward them. Alyssa blushed, "And you're the one I caught grabbing Starfire's breasts!"
The librarian slammed her hands on the wooden table, "Would you mind taking this outside?" Her wrinkled lips were pursed.
Mike and Alyssa ignored her.
"What were you doing with Robin anyway? You said your relationship with him was just business!"
"It was! It is!"
"If you don't take this outside of my library I will have to call security."
"If you must know," Mike said, "I was trying to keep Star out of Robin's room because you two were having your little love fest. I was grabbing on to her to stop her."
Alyssa opened her mouth, her index finger pointed high to the sky. Suddenly, what Mike had said registered and she clamped her mouth shut, "Oh. Well. To be honest, Robin overheard you and Cyborg conversing about how much you adored a certain girl. He automatically assumed it was Starfire--"
"But it was you!"
Alyssa searched his face for some hint of humor. There was none, "It…you really like me?"
Mike was suddenly aware that the entire library was starring at them. He turned red, "Yeah."
She took a deep breath, "Robin told me what he thought he had heard and I…felt sad. Listen to me, speaking with such simple words. Honestly." She rolled her eyes, which sparkled with tears, "Anyway, I had a stash of chocolate hidden under the bed--"
"Why did you have your chocolate hidden under Robin's bed?"
So I could say it was his if someone found it, Alyssa thought. "That's not important. What basically happened was that we were both depressed so we overdosed on chocolate and fell asleep. Nothing else happened."
"Let me get this straight, Robin told you I was madly in love with Starfire and you believed him? You didn't even want to ask me first?" Mike asked.
"I was hurt. Besides, I didn't know you liked me then." Alyssa looked down, "And it was all rather confusing because I have never liked another boy the way I like you and you were constantly hitting on Starfire, which got me more confused. I scolded myself for entertaining the idea that you could have an actual girlfriend and then I realized that we were co-workers and that those types of relationships should be kept purely platonic--Michel Jay Former, what on Earth are you laughing at?"
He was shaking with effort to control his guffaws, "Just you. You're so…Alyssa."
She let out a huff, "Of course, who else would I be? Really, Michel, you can't possibly go around expecting me to act like a completely different person. That would mean you expect me to change for you and I'll have you know that I refuse to--"
He cut her off with a kiss.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Starfire wiped more liquid from her beautiful face. So that was it then. She had lost Robin to Alyssa. While she was off helping Raven with her problem and revealing just how must she was completely in love with Robin, he had been doing X'hal knows what with Alyssa in his bed. How could he? What had she done to deserve--?
No! Robin would never have done something like that. And even he would've, he would not have been so careless as to fall asleep when Starfire was only a few floors up with Raven. Star knew her Robin. He was not that kind of person.
Determined to fly back down to Earth and demand to speak with Robin, Starfire stood up. All of a sudden, the T-Car pulled up in front of her.
Robin stepped out of the car.
TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT
Jen: Mwahahahahahaha!
…
Uh, yeah. So…review?