This chapter was really hard for me to write, especially since I just got out of a car accident where a bus hit my vehicle. So I really do know what it feels like to wake up and not know where you are. I tried to put some of what I was feeling into Kaiba's thoughts and words, and I hope it makes this chapter a bit more realistic for me. For those of you waiting for a Collision Course update, just a tad longer. After missing a week of school, I need to catch up, so please bear with me. Thank you to all of my reviews on my last chapter. Anyways, enjoy.

Chapter Two

These are my words
That I've never said before
I think I'm doing okay
And this is the smile
That I've never shown before
Somebody shake me 'cause I
I must be sleeping

I could feel light through my eyelids. Damn, I forgot about the alarm clock. After waking up yesterday with it blaring in my ear, I turned it off. I am sure Jou and I do not like early morning wakes…just snuggling.

Jou. Why did my stomach drop when I said his name? Did we not have a good time yesterday? The Indian food restaurant…wait. I don't remember eating at the restaurant. Oh my gods. Jou, the truck, I tried to brake, I turned the wheel…

I shot out of bed, and I heard a defining crash next to me. I looked over, and some god-forsaken machine had fallen onto the floor. Where was I? White walls; musty smell. I knew at once that I was in the hospital. A splitting pain broke my examining. I reached up and felt gauze stretched across the back of my scalp. Shit.

Where was Jou? I remember the look on his face of pure terror, and then falling into nothing.

"Jou?" I looked around. No one was in my small room. However, at the sound of my voice I suppose, a nurse came running in.

"Mr. Kaiba, you are up. Good good, now just lay back and relax, you do not want to hurt your head more. You arm is also broken."

I looked over. She was right, a cast was on my left arm, but I couldn't feel a thing, probably the reason why I didn't notice it in the first place.

"Where is Jou?" The words felt funny on my tongue, like I was uttering some fort of forbidden spell. She didn't answer me, only frowned.

"Where is Katsuya?"

She was crying now. No, don't cry. Please don't cry.

"I am sorry Mr. Kaiba."

I am sure all the colour in my face left me. My heart was beating very hard in my chest, and I was choking on the very air I was breathing.

"No, no what happened to him? I need to see him! I need to say sorry-"

"Mr. Kaiba, I am sorry, Jou isn't with us-"

I didn't let her finish. "Lies. Tell me the truth! Where is he!" I didn't care that I was shouting. She looked frightened, and I saw a doctor enter the door in my left.

I forget if I was shouting words, or just shouting, but I could feel such pain. A prick in my arm, and I looked over to see a needle. Blinding pain, then dark nothing.

There was no light when I woke up. I assumed it must have been night. I slowly opened my eyes. Someone was at the end of my bed, a nurse I suppose. I called out softly "Jou…"

At once she was by my side, whispering good things into my ear, but I did not want to hear about it.

Turns out it was about mid-afternoon. They wanted me to get rest, so the room was darkened

I turned to look at her, right into her eyes, "Where is Jou?" My voice was filled with sorrow and need, how could she deny me? "Please don't say he's dead."

She shook her head, "No Mr. Kaiba, Jounouchi is not dead." I let out a sigh at this part. Not dead, those words sound sweet to my closed ears.

"But…"

But? There was a but? That could never be good.

"He is in a coma. Head trauma, You were lucky to get out yourself with such minor injuries." Yes, a broken arm and a concussion, minor indeed.

"They don't expect him to ever wake up."

I just wanted to die. The first thing that came into my mind, was 'this is all my fucking fault.'

"Can you leave for a moment? I want to be alone…"

She was like an infection, reminding me of what I had done. But she just nodded her head, and went out the door, without saying a word.

When I heard the definite lock of the door, I grabbed the hard pillow I had been lying on, and helplessly, cried into it.

Mokuba visited me, but I didn't say anything. He just sat and held my hand. I don't think he minded; I was too busy staring at nothing. He said that the doctors would let me out in three days. I nodded, but did not say anything, I didn't think anything needed to be said.

"Do you want to see him?"

I turned to look at my brother. His hair was shorter than I remembered, a very long time ago, and his dark eyes were filled with sorrow and remorse. When had he grown up? Infront of my eyes and I had never even noticed. I did not want to see Jou, not now, not after all of this. I wanted to see him stuffing cereal into his mouth on a Saturday morning, hair all askew from the sleep before, or bathed in moonlight from the open window of my room, sleeping soundly. I did not want to see the person I gave my heart to on a hospital bed, living on machines. That I could not bear, not now.

I guess Mokuba took my silence as a no, but still, he sat holding my hand until visiting hours were over. Then he quietly got up and left.

I packed what little Mokuba had brought from home into my small duffel bag. It wasn't much, PJ's, extra clothes, toothbrush, things I needed to live. It was a bad job in the end because I ended up stuffing things roughly into the bag, my left arm not cooperating. What a fucking pain in the ass.

"The Limo is here, are you ready?" Mokuba stood at the door, looking at me. I simply nodded, and with my right hand, lifted my bag.

"Here, let me help you." He moved forward to grab my bag.

"No, I want to do it myself." It is bad enough I was here for four days, I did not need anyone else taking care of me. That I could do on my own.

"I thought we could stop and see Jou before we left."

I stopped walking, frozen in my steps. See him? I had not seen him yet. I was avoiding that part as much as I could.

"No, I just want to get home."

Mokuba gave me a sideways glance, "But you haven't been to see him yet Seto, I thought that you would want to."

"Well, I don't, OK?"

"Seto, you can't keep avoiding this, it isn't going to go away you know." Since when did a thirteen years old kid know so much?

"I told you I didn't want to see him, now would you just fuck off and leave me alone?" I never swear at my brother, I love him just too damn much. But the words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. Everything, the accident, and now Mokuba telling me I had to see Jou, I just didn't want to deal with it.

He gave me a cold stare, and didn't say anything. "I am going to go say good-bye to him."

He left, and as I watched him go, I almost fell to pieces. I had nothing left except for my brother, and to loose him would kill me.

I could hear a voice inside my head, but Jou isn't dead, not yet.

They did not expect him to wake up, so he would sleep for eternity, same deal.

I threw my bag into the Limo, and waited for my brother to return. I was going back to a home haunted with past memories, how could I handle that?

I was glad Mokuba sat up front on the way home; he didn't have to see my tears.