A/N: I tried to go over this a little more carefully than the last chapter (and I've already edited once to fix a mistake pointed out to me), so hopefully there aren't any major grammatical mistakes. They bring me deep shame. Okay, so that was melodramatic, but I really do hate making them, heh. Enjoy.

Chapter 15 – Old and New Wounds

Munkustrap looked down to the tiny kitten, Chanterelle. She had just opened her eyes for the first time, and he greeted her with a smile. She mewed to her father, and the tom nuzzled the tiny queen. Demeter smiled at the exchange. "Of course she would be the first to open her eyes," she whispered. "You keep bothering her; she had to see who it was that kept her from sleeping."

"I've always wanted a daughter," he said, not bothering to look up to Demeter. She flicked the end of her tail, but said nothing.

Things had gotten awkward between them. Demeter had played this game all too often to know what he was doing. The looks on his face, as though forced; his tone of voice even; his affection displaced. He was avoiding her, even though they were right next to each other. And she felt terrified. 'He knows,' she thought to herself, feeling her heart race at the thought.

The cold eyes staring at them. The fake smile turned on them. The body language completely different. The cats had not changed, but their perceptions on the two queens had become distorted. They looked at them like they were maggots that crawled on their food, making everything distasteful and vile.

What's worse, Demeter could not tell if it was what they are or what they pretended to be that the cats hated. Cats she never liked that she pretended to love now hated her for her deceit. Their secret was always guarded, but with the reality of what they were having been ripped opened, they were completely exposed to the truth and the fantastic ideas that came with it to fill in the gaps. Again and again, she allowed herself to be hated. And the pain that was inflicted on them sometimes wasn't enough.

"Stop it," Bombalurina said suddenly. Demeter thought her sister was asleep. But the queen didn't even need to open her eyes to know what Demeter was doing. "Stop hurting yourself." Demeter's nails were imbedded into her own flesh, as though she was hoping to cut out the misery in her life, and hoped to make herself feel better.

Demeter began to groom her arm, trying to forget the memories that were surfacing again. She never wanted anyone to look at her kittens that way. It was enough she saw signs of Munkustrap looking at her that way.

"I don't know who would hurt an angel like you."

Demeter flinched. Munkustrap was sitting right in front of her, but he hadn't said a word. Yet his voice rang clearly in her head. Subconsciously, her paws drifted to her scars. She shook her head quickly, trying to clear her mind and remember where she was, causing the charm on her collar to jingle.

"Hmm?" Munkustrap looked up, regarding her with an almost business-like decorum.

"I…" She hadn't meant to call his attention. "Munkustrap, are you okay? You've seemed a little different lately."

"I just have a lot to deal with lately," he said, looking back down to the kittens.

'Don't lie to me,' her voice hissed in her head. 'Everything about you has changed!' But she had to swallow her panic. Her natural instinct was that it was time to leave. Her sister and she would have left long ago. Their charade had gone on long enough, and they couldn't risk being found out. And were it not for the kittens suckling at her breasts, she would disappear before she felt prosecuted by the tribe she cares for.

As long as her mate loved the kittens before him, she knew everything would be okay. But Heaviside forbid the moment he looks at them with the same disregard he showed to her.

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"Demeter?" The queen looked up to see Cassandra standing at the entryway of the den. Instantly, she curled herself over her kittens and hissed. "I'm not here to do anything with the kittens. I'm here to talk to you. We did so for quite a while, as short lived as it was." The gold queen flicked her tail. "I miss talking to you," she admitted.

Slowly, Demeter uncurled herself from her kittens, and made sure they were huddled up as close as could be before covering them up with a blanket and leaving them. "I don't want to leave them for too long."

"You won't let me in?"

"If you were me, would you let anyone near your kittens?"

"That depends," Cassandra said. "How is their development?" Demeter gave a blank look. "Are they growing up as normal kittens do?"

"I don't know," Demeter admitted. "How soon will I be able to tell if they're like me or not?"

"I'm not sure," Cassandra said softly. "I was different from my brothers and sisters. I didn't stay with them long enough to find out."

"Your mother made no mention of it?"

"My mother barely acknowledged my existence."

Demeter looked away. "I'm sorry…I have no idea what that must have been like."

"I don't want to be a pity case, that's not why I told you," Cassandra said. "As far as I know, it's evident from an early age, even in the slightest sense. Jenny might be able to tell if they are developing slowly." Demeter nodded, looking back to her kittens with concern.

"Munkustrap is looking at me differently."

"You told him?" Cassandra asked with some surprise.

"No…I began to try, but I only made him upset. All the words got all jumbled up, and I couldn't say anything right. But we've gotten into so many fights now. He knows something is different about me."

"How do you feel?" Cassandra asked, with only slight concern. Demeter knew the queen meant well, but she also felt like she was asking because she was expected to ask. Years of social deprivation probably made her lose her conversation etiquette, if she had any to begin with. For a moment, the gold queen missed her sister, but she knew that her sister would push her to leave, like always, and she couldn't bear to hear that now.

"I've left other tribes because of a stray looking at me sideways, just for fear of him knowing me and telling my tribe. This is my mate who's looking at me differently, now. He can't hide the look of suspicion in his eye. I think he was born with it," Demeter tried to laugh, but it came out like a sob. "But now it's aimed towards me. And I can't leave them…"

The queens were quiet. Demeter half expect an "it will be okay, everything's going to be alright," but none came, and the deafening silence was killing her. "I should get back to my kittens," Demeter said anxiously.

"They're very cute, by the way," Cassandra said. "So…don't forget what Mistoffelees said. And enjoy your time with them." She looked uneasy. It must have been hard for her to have already admitted so much to someone else, and continue to speak what she meant. But she would do anything for Mistoffelees. "And…please…love them no matter what…"

"I will," Demeter said, smiling gently. "With all my heart." Cassandra nodded, looking away, as though ashamed of having said so much. After she turned and left, Demeter uncovered her kittens, two of which had now opened their eyes and were looking up at her with confusion. Little Raine had yet to open his eyes. So she licked him on the head. "My darlings," she whispered. "I'll always love you, no matter what. Just don't forget that."

She felt a tug on her collar and looked to see Porthos trying to paw at the butterfly charm that hung from her collar. Demeter just smiled.

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"Have you seen Bombalurina?" The kitten queens looked up to the Rum Tum Tugger, smiling to see him out and about again. They shook their heads in answer to his question. Unfortunately for them, that caused the handsome tom to leave.

"Have you see Bombalurina?" he asked the cat burglars, who, for once, were just resting about, lying on top of each other creating an orange and black mass of fur. The tom didn't know where one cat started and the other ended. He could only wonder how they got into such an uncomfortable looking pile in the first place, but decided to save himself the horrors of such knowledge.

"Pssh," was Mungojerrie's response. "Tha' bird is bleedin' mental!" Tugger tried to ignore the fact that he had enough trouble understanding the orange tabby when he wasn't mumbling from being half asleep, let alone slipping deeper into his accent, and practically speaking another language all together.

"Rumpleteazer," he said, now ignoring the tom. "Have you seen her?"

"I 'ave to agree with Jerrie," she said.

"Well…could you translate so I know what you're agreeing to?"

Rumpleteazer started to laugh, causing her partner in crime to kick her. He ended up sending her crashing down from her sleeping spot. After she landed, Mungojerrie put a paw over his mouth, not having meant to possibly cause her serious harm, but the burst of laughter from the queen made him sigh in relief then join in on the laughter.

"Could you two answer my question?" asked the tom impatiently.

"No!" Rumpleteazer said, still smiling, though managing to suppress her giggles. "We 'aven't seen 'er, or 'er sister. They don' like us much, I don' think. Why?"

"No reason," Tugger said, starting to walk off. The sudden fear that he had severely alienated his last real friend overtook the tom.

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Munkustrap sat in a park, near a fountain, waiting patiently. It wasn't easy going to the twins and apologizing for overreacting. He had quite a lot of pride, which made it difficult to swallow, considering how vile-tasting pride can be when ingested. But getting them to meet him to talk proved to be even more difficult. They, too, had their pride, which had been trampled on by the silver tabby when he tried to attack Coricopat. The tom claimed he didn't want to risk another attack, but Munkustrap knew the twins were savoring his need to know more.

Munkustrap stood up in greeting when he saw the queen walking over to him, looking rather demure without her brother as her shadow. "I wouldn't have attacked him," he said in annoyance once Tantomile was in earshot.

"You would bestow us some caution, considering the last time we met, wouldn't you, Munkustrap?" She smiled coyly. "What does it matter if we are both here or not? Aren't there rumors that we can read each other's mind and communicate telepathically? I would think that you, of all cats, would buy the rumors, and consider one twin to know everything the other does."

"Okay, okay," Munkustrap sighed. "You can calm down. I get it. I'm sorry." The queen sat near the tom, and they sat in silence for a few moments, each looking the other over. Munkustrap felt the fur on the back of this neck rise at the contemplative stare he was under. The only way to break the feeling was to begin dialogue. "You know about Mistoffelees?"

"That's a rather broad question," Tantomile smiled. "The tom has many secrets. You'll have to be more specific than that." Munkustrap bit his lip. She wasn't going to make this easy…

"I mean…about him leaving."

"Ah, yes," Tantomile nodded. "We felt his presence leave."

"His…presence…?"

"Mistoffelees has acquired an incredible amount of magic over the years. His presence can be felt to any magical cat within the region quite easily."

"Over the years?" Munkustrap had to laugh. "He's barely out of kittenhood."

"So he would have you think," Tantomile said. "He's a lot older than he looks."

"Well," Munkustrap floundered. "I guess…magic has its benefits."

"That it does…"

Silence. Munkustrap shifted under the gaze of the queen. "Um, listen, I really didn't want to come and talk about Mistoffelees, unless you know where I can find him…Do…you know where I can find him?" The queen shook her head. He decided to come back to that later. "What I really want to know is…what did you say to Demeter to get her so upset?"

"Ah," Tantomile smiled. "This again."

"Please, I promise you, I won't get upset! I'm really worried about her and the kittens."

"Oh, the kittens should be born by now, right? I see. Is there…something odd about the kittens?" Tantomile asked, her piercing stare cutting right through the silver tom.

"Odd? What do you mean odd?" Munkustrap asked defensively. "Raine's a little tiny for his age, but runts happen a lot in litters, don't they? Odd…" The Munkustrap gasped. "You don't mean to say…that they aren't mine, do you?"

"No, you silly tabby," Tantomile rolled her eyes. "This goes far deeper than any indiscretions Demeter may have."

"Can't you use simpler words?" Munkustrap asked dryly.

"No," Tantomile said simply. "My brother would have 'dumbed it down' for you, but seeing as the last time you met with him--"

"Stop!" Munkustrap said. "I didn't come here to fight with you. I just need to know! Tantomile, please! These are my kittens! My sons and my daughter! My darling little kittens who are just beginning to open their eyes. I'm worried about Demeter, and how she may react if something happened to them, or if something happens to her, or if she… Everlasting Cat forbid…does something to the kittens.

"You have to understand, I overreacted before because I love my family, and I would do anything for them. It doesn't matter how long I've known you; my family comes first. Don't you understand that? They. Are. Everything. To. Me." Munkustrap was now the one staring intensely at Tantomile, making her feel uncomfortable. He was glad to see he made her cower slightly. Maybe now, he would get some answers out of her.

"We were worried about the kittens," Tantomile said in an even voice. "We voiced some concerns to her, and she took them deeply to heart. That is all."

Munkustrap stared. "No, that's not all. You aren't telling me something."

"It's not mine to tell," Tantomile said with a tone of finality. She then proceeded to get up, and it was all Munkustrap could do to keep himself from jumping up, grabbing the queen by the shoulders, and shaking the information out of her.

She began to leave, but not before stopping, once a safe distance from him, and turning to the tom, with sadness in her eyes. "I feel sorry for you, Munkustrap."

The tom frowned. "What did I do to deserve your pity?"

"You fell in love with a queen who could never bring herself to love you," she said. "It would hurt her too much." And with that, the queen turned and ran.

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Demeter looked out the entryway of her den. Then she quickly went back to her kittens, making sure they were okay. After a few moments, she went back over to the entryway. The full moon was shining down on the junkyard, daring the queen to come out and bask in its light as she had done so long ago, so many times before. Instead, she felt trapped by it.

No one came around to her den that night. Not her friends came by. Not her sister. Not even her mate. She had done too good a job keeping everyone away with her ridiculous protective nature.

Alone with the kittens that night, she ignored her hunger and tried to concentrate on nothing. She tried to escape into an empty mind as she had once before. But it wouldn't let her. And the kittens' mewlings kept her focused on reality. All she could do was wallow in the truth. All she could do was stay with her kittens, afraid to leave them. Because if she did, she would truly be alone