Chapter 16

I forgot that you existed
And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn't
And it was so nice
So peaceful and quiet —Forgot That You Existed, Taylor Swift

Bella

A spicy cinnamon and apple aroma wafted from the matching candle holders scattered throughout our unoccupied living room. Home alone again, and bored, I inhaled, then sighed. This was just another typical Friday. Everyone who was anyone was getting ready for some highly anticipated date. But me? I was sniffing candles.

I had yet to go on another date since Mike Newton. He was the first date I accepted, knowing ahead of time, I would not have a romantic, fairy-tail encounter, ending in a head-spinning, tummy-twirling, amazing first "real" kiss—all because it wouldn't be with Jacob.

"You've got to read between the lines with a guy like Mike," Emmett had warned me, disgruntled when he found out I was going out with a guy who was a year older than him, a first-string varsity player on his football team, no less.

You could bet I read between the lines, every single one.

Does he think I wouldn't be willing to pay for my meal? Does he think every girl wants such delicate treatment they can't open the door for themselves? Does he think he will get somewhere with me by taking me to a drive-in movie theater to sit all alone with him for two entire hours, plus? Does he think I'd be falling all over myself to make out with him?

I didn't realize my awful behavior until I saw the confused and beaten down look on Mike's face, after walking me to the door in silence and giving me an awkward goodnight wave.

Once I sat down and picked apart what went wrong with the evening, I concluded that Jacob's surprise phone call caused my failed first date. Having to end the conversation with him irritated me, and I took it all out on Mike. Everything about him during the date had turned me off. I didn't like the way he combed his hair, the smell of his cologne, the way he chewed his food, the way he smiled at me, and I hated the way he went overboard being sweet.

Just the sound of Jacob's voice crumbled my resolve not to wait on him. Because I was a silly little girl with a silly little crush, forever waiting for a morsel of his attention. I sickened myself. Which was why I decided if I had to lock myself in my bedroom all summer whenever Jacob came around, I would move on.

Disgusted with my behavior toward Mike, I phoned him a day later to apologize and asked him to give me another chance. I told him I didn't mind groveling, if that's what it took to get him to forgive my despicable rude attitude. It relieved me when he laughed then said, "Yes, I'll go out with you again."

Our second date was nice. It still wasn't an earth-shaking evening, but it was nice, and it ended with a polite peck on the cheek.

When Jacob returned home, he showed up with Leah, and while he visited with Emmett and Jasper, Leah, of all people, pulled me aside and asked if I wanted to go for a drive with him. He didn't know how to talk to me alone without making Emmett suspicious, so he convinced her to do it for him.

My jaw dropped at the invitation. Doing a happy dance and squealing inside, my soul was wearing a huge glowing grin, even though shock had froze my face. I promised myself. I promised myself. Oh, but I want to go. My thoughts spun in disarray but I summoned a tremendous amount of strength. "No, tell him I said no."

I wasn't trying to play hard to get. I was trying to prove to myself that I wasn't waiting for that invitation. And part of me feared letting my guard down again.

Leah's smile of disbelief fell to displeasure when she realized I was serious. "Jeez, Bella, I don't want to tell him that. Just go, I know you want to."

I held onto my convincing mask. "That was last year."

After I turned him down, it didn't feel like we were friends anymore. He always looked cranky whenever he saw me, and that irritated the hell out of me. He had no right to treat me, or any other girl, badly, giving me the cold shoulder and making me feel guilty for not going out with him. Who did he think he was?

Despite him always at our house, we rarely talked.

I stayed away from him as planned and spent all my time with Leah, Jasper, and Seth. When Jasper and Leah were both busy, Seth and I hung out. We were comfortable together. We talked about everything, except Jacob and Seth's crush, and we always had a great time.

Jacob's Rabbit zoomed by the house. I knew the sound well because a crack in his muffler made his car sound like a souped-up sports vehicle. The specific reason he said he would not replace it.

A second later, Leah burst through the door in a panic. "Please, let him keep driving. Please, let him keep driving." She ran to the window and cracked open the curtains.

"Who?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"Jacob! He just passed by, and Sam's parked across the street."

She caught the eye of a seventeen-year-old boy named Sam Uley, and she wasn't even fifteen yet. But with her five-foot-seven shapely figure, complimented by lustrous, waist-length hair, she looked about seventeen or eighteen. She was gorgeous. Sue and Harry said Sam was too old for her, so they wouldn't let her date him. She ended up sneaking around with him every chance she found. Whenever she was with him, she told her parents she was with me, and I kept thinking it was just a matter of time before we got caught.

"Good. He kept going. Sam's taking me to a bonfire behind the cliffs tonight."

The bonfires behind the cliffs were drinking parties. Shaped like a V, if you built the fire in a certain spot of the tall rock cliffs, you couldn't see it from the main road. It was where all the older kids partied during the summer.

"Leah! You know what goes on out there!"

She dismissed me with a wave of her hand. "I'm not drinking—neither is Sam. We're just going to hangout with everyone. Oh. I told my mom, me and you were having a movie night over here."

Sue didn't call to check on Leah and Seth when they came to our house. There was never a need.

"Jeez, Leah, I told you I wanted no part of that." I scowled, raising my voice. "You'll get us both in trouble!" She was unaffected by my outburst, and her smirk made me want to tell on her myself.

"I won't, Bella. I have to go now. I'll call you when I get home." She ran out the door, spun around, and jumped back inside. "Shit, he's coming back! Please, let him pass. Please, let him pass."

I peeked through the curtains. Jacob drove into the driveway, climbed out, and stomped to the door. Leah yanked the door open before he could knock. His brow furrowed. "I knew it!" He came inside and shoved the door shut. "What's Sam doing parked across the street, Leah?"

She rolled her eyes, turning away from him. "I'm just going to a movie, Jacob. It's not a big deal. Mom and Dad don't need to know."

"What do you mean they don't need to know?"

"Ah, don't go getting all 'big brother' on me, Jake. It's nobody's business but my own."

Insulted, he snapped at her. "It's my business if I say it's my business! And if I have to say it to Sam, I will!" The intensity on his face was frightening.

Scared, Leah's eyes flew open. She knew nobody intimidated Jacob. He didn't like fighting outside of the ring, but some guys started trouble with him just to see if they could take him. It was another "guy thing". So, Jacob had one of the toughest reputations in the area.

Her self-ruling conduct disappeared, and the begging started. "Please, Jacob. It's only a movie, please. I really like him. He's so nice to me, and I don't understand why everyone wants to keep us apart."

Jacob's sternness wavered as he eyed her. "Are you sure it's only for a movie?"

I pursed my lips to keep from spilling the beans, but I didn't want her to go. Jacob glanced over her head. He saw the hint I threw to him by fidgeting and looking away.

"Tell me the truth, Leah."

Leah scowled and folded her arms across her chest. "All right! I'll tell you. We're going to the bonfire behind the cliffs."

He was shaking his head before she could finish her sentence. "Nope, no way. I can't let you do that. You're too young to be out there. It's not good."

She cinched her eyes and turned away, her bottom lip curving as if about to cry.

"Leah, Jake's right. It's not good," I said, to help her see reasoning.

She whipped her head toward me and gave me a look that felt like a smack. I should have stayed out of it.

"Jake, we're not drinking. You know, I know better than that. I can't tell him I can't hang out tonight because I'm too young to go out there with him."

I grimaced. He should already know that.

"Besides, you owe me, Jake." Then she turned to me with watery, pleading eyes. "You both do."

Jacob and I flicked a quick glance at each other. Weighing the option, he stared at her. "Okay, Leah, but promise me you won't drink or do anything stupid."

Her face lit with a smile. "I won't, Jake. I promise."

"There's no cellphone reception out there. And Sam better not drink! I mean it, Leah. Don't make me regret this... Maybe I should talk to Sam." He turned.

"No, don't!" Alarmed, she stopped him with a hand to his chest, maneuvering herself in front of him. "Nothing bad will happen. I promise, Jake. Can I go now?"

We watched out the window as she jumped into Sam's truck and drove away. Jacob shook his head and sighed. "I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me." He stood there, gawking out the window, then turned to me. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing, why?"

"Want to come with me to a bonfire?"