Chapter 17

So now you see
Why I'm scared
I can't open up my heart without a care
But here I go
It's what I feel
And for the first time in my life I know it's real —Catch Me, Demi Lovato

Bella

Dumbstruck, I stared into Jacob's eyes and considered how we could keep an eye on Leah. I knew I'd worry about her until she was safe at home. He gave me a little smile. Because I hadn't let myself notice him in such a long time, I forgot how gorgeous he was when he smiled.

Batting my lashes in contemplation, I reached for the phone to call my mom. "All right. I'll go if I can."

It was incredible that mom didn't give me the typical parental line of questioning when I asked to go with Jacob to the beach to hangout with a few friends and stay out later than my normal curfew. If I ever went anywhere, that is. She sounded more excited than me.

When I got outside to the car, Jacob's full smile hit me like an explosion of warmth. My face flushed. I smiled back, nervous from not knowing what context we were going together. Friends or something more.

With the sunlight diminishing, we drove up a winding truck trail into the woods and found a parking place where everyone else covertly parked. Trekking through the crusty sand, I didn't know what to expect. My head pulsed with tension because I was somewhere I shouldn't be. "Have you ever been out here before?" I asked.

"Yep. A few times with Quil and Embry. The last time I was here, a big fight broke out. Girls were fighting and everything. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt, and nobody called the cops. I haven't been here since." Glancing at me, he did a double take. "Are you okay? You look worried."

"I am. Kind of. Mom and Dad will kill me if they find out what's happening here."

"Charlie and Renee will kill me if they find out I brought you out here. That's why they won't."

As we made our way to the party, several people, girls and guys, were giving me the evil eye, like I somehow didn't belong. It was easy to see I wasn't welcome. A chill of unworthiness crawled down my spine. "I don't know about this, Jacob."

He placed his palm on my lower back before taking me by the hand. "It's just because you're the sheriff's daughter. They probably think you'll tell on them or get them caught. Don't worry, you're with me."

You're with me. I loved the sound of that.

Loud music jammed from a large stereo speaker resting on one of the sand buggies, and everyone appeared to be having a good time. I recognized several older kids from Forks. There were also a lot of unfamiliar visitor kids. The visitor kids were summer cabin residents and beach house vacationers.

It might have been my imagination that this was directed at me. But when we reached the party, all the conversation noise screeched to a halt and everyone glared at us. I froze, wrenching my hand from Jacob's, about to turn around and sprint back to the car.

Jacob cupped me around the waist and tugged me back into him. "Am I purple or what?" His tone came off sarcastic and loud.

"Yeah, what's the fucking problem?" another voice said to the rear of us. I threw a glance over my shoulder and saw Quil. He and Embry were coming up behind us. The eyes fell a way, and the crowd's commotion resumed. I never felt so glad to see them.

"Freaking weirdos," Embry said.

Leah called for me and Jacob from somewhere in the middle of the horde. She and Sam were swerving through the crowd toward us. It relieved me she was smiling.

"Did you see that?" I asked, referring to the way everyone acted when we arrived.

"They did that to me, too. But not as bad."

"I hope you're not mad that we're here?"

"No. I was glad to see you and Jacob. I didn't feel comfortable out here at all."

I told her I had permission to come to the bonfire with Jacob and my curfew was midnight. It pissed her off, because her curfew was ten-thirty, and Sue thought she was at my house. "Well, let's call our moms and ask if I could spend the night with you," she said.

Sam was all for it. He borrowed a sand buggy from one of his friends, and he and Jacob drove us to the main road where there was enough reception to call home. I called first, and Mom was fine with it, and then Leah called Sue.

"Bella wants to know if I can spend the night tonight. Jacob's taking us to the beach for a little while. Renee said it was okay with her." She listened for a few seconds, rolled her eyes, then handed the phone to Jacob. After giving him a grilling and a safety speech, Sue gave in.

When we got back to the party, the small mound of firewood was glowing vibrantly, filling the air with a cozy stream of opaque smoke, which helped me relax enough to enjoy the party energy. But the deeper the night's darkness became, the drunker people acted. Jacob didn't want to stand around the fire with them anymore. He mentioned Paul was getting on his nerves. "I don't like to be around people drinking, especially drunk teenagers," he said, as we walked along the beach to find a piece of driftwood for sitting.

I swung my legs over the log, turning myself in the ocean's direction, thinking about him being at the party a few times. "Why do you come out here then?" I observed him as he sat down next to me.

His ears appeared to have reddened at the question, as if he were blushing. "I'm not sure. Boredom, I guess."

"Have you ever drunk alcohol before?"

"Once or twice." He broke a small piece of bark off the log and crumbled it apart with his fingers, casting a sideways glance at me. "With Emmett."

I shrieked in surprise. "Emmett drinks?"

"I wouldn't say he drinks. Just that he drank... A couple of times that I know of. We did it last year during some overnight tournaments. All we got was sick. We got really drunk, and we got sick. I didn't see the fun of it either time."

"He never told me."

"That's because he's afraid you might try it, too."

The notion that Emmett would never stop treating me like a mindless little girl pounded through me. "I'm not as stupid as him!"

Jake let out a little chuckle. "Well, don't tell him I told you, okay?"

The wind picked up, and it got chilly. We left in such a hurry to follow Leah; we didn't think to prepare. I wore a sleeveless summer blouse, and he wore a thin t-shirt. Neither of us brought a sweater or a jacket. I slid from the log into the sand, using it for a shield against the breeze.

He slid down beside me. "We can go stand by the fire again if you're cold?"

I turned to the fire and listened to someone drunk and yelling around. Paul. I didn't want to go back. "No. That's okay."

We sat in silence with nothing to say. It had been that long since we'd talked alone. The uncomfortable tension that now loomed between us saddened me. It wasn't there when we were younger. It wasn't there before we held hands. It made me miss the easiness we used to share. I angled my eyes and watched him from the corners. He turned his head to look at me, so I shifted my eyes straight ahead. When I looked again, he was smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" I wound my arms around myself to get warm.

With a shake of his head, he tightened his lips. "Nothing." He watched me rub my arms with the palms of my hands. "Can I go find a jacket for you to wear?"

"No. I'm fine."

He wiggled closer to me and said, "Okay, Bella, don't take this the wrong way, but can I at least try to keep you warm?"

I could tell by his leaning body language he wanted to put his arm around me. How did he want me to take it? Giving it only a split-second of thought, I met his gaze and nodded. He scooted closer and draped his arm over me, and when I let my body melt against him, a simmering attraction came on fast, and it came on strong.

All it took was a nudge of his fingertips, urging my chin upward for our lips to find each other. His mouth tasted sweet, and the feel of his tongue mesmerized me. For never having kissed that way, my mouth coupled with his, knowing exactly what to do by itself, and I felt my tummy swirling right along with it.

It was my first "real" kiss. It was with Jacob, and it was intoxicating. I could have kissed him for the rest of my life. I never wanted to stop. When it did, I gazed straight ahead, speechless, feeling like I was in a fluffy dream. The briny essence of the ocean air, the musical colliding of the waves, and the strength of Jacob's body blanketing me struck all at once, staggering me. I was with Jacob, just as I'd always dreamed of being.

Oh, my god!

I was finally living the wish I gave every shooting star from the first time I saw him. If I didn't already know I wanted him for the rest of my life, I knew it now, beyond any doubt.

A/N Jacob is up next! Thank you for reading this and I hope to hear from you.