My friend found this book on the road called 'Outrageously tasteless jokes' which is labelled 'adults only' (We ignored the warning anyway). I decided to write a fic with the jokes in it!

Warnings:

These are sick jokes and bad language are used, I advise mature people to read.

If there are any jokes that offends anyone, stop reading.

The jokes do not belong to me, but to Blanche Knott.

I do not own beyblade characters (But I wish).

Outrageously Tasteless Jokes

Tala Yuriy Ivanov, one of the world's number one bladers, is now absolutely booored to death. There was nothing to do; Bryan and Spencer are off on a 'special beyblade training program' leaving him and Kai to baby-sit Ian. Boredom got the best of him so Tala decided to explore Kai's mansion. As he walked down the hall way of Kai's house, he caught a flash of yellow under the blood crimson carpet. It looked like as if someone was trying to hide something. Curiously, Tala lifted the carpet up and found a small yellow book. How on Earth did a yellow book end up under Kai's carpet, Tala have no idea. 'Outrageously tasteless jokes' was labelled across the old wrinkled book; there was nothing else better to do so Tala opened the first page of the book.

'What goes black-pink-black-pink-black-pink?

A black jerking off.'

…Tala now knows why this book was called this name; he walks to the living room to find Ian sitting on the sofa with his new PSP.

"Hey Tala, what ya got in your hand?"

"An 'Outrageously tasteless jokes' book,"

"Alright, read a joke to me."

Tala randomly flipped to a page and found a joke in a story formation; he said the joke out loud.

'A retired schoolteacher finally realized she was tired of living alone and wanted some companionship, so after a good deal of thought she decided to visit the local pet shop. The owner suggested a parrot, with which she could conduct a civilized conversation. This seemed like an excellent idea, so she bought a handsome parrot, sat him on a perch in her living room, and said, 'say "pretty boy".' Silence from the bird. 'Come on, now say "pretty boy…Pretty boy".'

At long last, disgustedly, the bird said, 'Oh, shit.'

Shocked, the schoolteacher said, 'Just for that, you get five minutes in the refrigerator.' Five minutes later the she put the shivering bird back on it's perch and said, 'Now let's hear it: "Pretty boy…Pretty boy".'

'Lay off, would you!' said the parrot. Outraged, the woman grabbed the bird and said,

'That's it! Ten minutes in the freezer,' and slammed the door at him. Hopping about to keep warm, the parrot came across a frozen turkey waiting for Christmas. Startled, he squawks, 'Oh my, you must have told the bitch to go fuck herself!'

Both of the boys went silent when after Tala finished reading out the joke.

"…Dude, that was seriously tasteless. Where the hell did you found that thing?"

"Under Kai's red carpet,"

"…Why was it under there?"

"How should I know? You go and ask the Ice King himself."

"Ask me what?"

The two bladers screamed and jumped at lest a foot high above the ground. Standing right behind them was none other than Kai Hiwatari, with his hands blocking his ears.

"…Don't scream like that,your screamsnearly killed me!"

"Nearly Killed you! NEARLY KILLED YOU! What about us! You nearly gave us a heart attack!" screamed the red head.

"Stop screaming! Anyways, what did you wanted to ask me about?"

"Why was there a tasteless joke book hiding under your carpet?" Ian pointed at the small yellow book held in Tala's hands.

"A tasteless joke book? I never heard of such thing, it's not mine."

"Then who is it?" asked the red head, "This joke book is seriously lame."

"Now is it? Read one out to me."

Tala flipped through to another random page and said a random joke out loud.

'A man steps into this little backwoods restaurant for lunch, and after finishing his meal he inquires the way to the men's room. Told that it's around the back of the building he heads through the back door, finds the bathroom, and takes a shit, only to discover there's no toilet paper. But there is a sign on the wall that reads: "WIPE YOURSELF WITH YOUR FINGER, THEN INSERT FINGER INTO THIS HOLE, AND YOUR FINGER WILL BE CLEANED WITH GREAT ATTENTION." So the man wipes up and sticks his finger through the hole. On the other side is standing a little boy holding a brick in either hand, who claps them together at the sight of the finger poking through. The guy screams in pain, yanks his hand back, and starts sucking his finger.'

"…….." the whole room became silence once again, each feeling sick in the inside.

"…that was disgusting," commented Kai, who now has a very pale expression.

"I know, but who would even want to own this book?" Ian has a green look on his face as he spoke.

"Well, someone in this house owns this book. No one else but Kai and the Blitzkrieg boys live here." Tala flipped through more of the pages to see if he could find a name or sign, but with no luck he couldn't find any.

"My guess is on either Spencer or Bryan,"

"What makes you think it's either of them shrimp?"

"Well Mr. Almighty, none of us owns this book now do we?"

"He has a good point Kai; they are away from the house. It's either one of them that hid this hideous book."

"Yes, good point but which one?"

"Hm…"

Everyone went to their thinking positions. Ian has his eyes shut real tight with his nose up in the air, arms crossed. Tala has his hands on his hips, eyes closed and standing in a slit angle. Kai, well he does his usual pose.

Ian thought up an idea,

"I know! We'll try and think of a way to make one of them confess to us!"

"Not a bad idea shrimp,"

"You can count me in,"

"Alright guys, here's the plan…"

TBC

So do you guys like it? The jokes are really sick and lame ay? Well, you guys can take the pick wither Spencer or Bryan are the owners of the joke book. Other characters are allowed to be suggested as well.