It's been a while I started this in BB5 and now it's 7! Sheesh, so here's another week in the house!
I've split this one into halves cos it's quite big and I've been wanting to do this for a while so you know!
Disclaimer: Although I wish I did, I own nothing, none of the characters in this story belongs to me, nor does the lovely Davina Mc Call or Big Brother. All opinions made by Big Brother do not relate to my own I just want him to be mean.
P.S Drink kupo milk it's delicious!
P.P.S We do switch between past and present tenses sometimes so if it annoys you sorry!
Week 2
Studio
"I knew you'd come back!" Davina trilled, "Ok we've got another week of delectable moments in the FF BB house, and Big Brother is getting more and more sick of the house mates, who'd have thunk it?"
Day 8
Diary Room
11.00am
Narrator: Tidus is in the Diary Room
"Big Brother… Ok Red said he would come down, IF Quina was evicted… So could you know… give it a hand?" Tidus grinned.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it's cheating."
"It's not cheating it's asking for a favour! And you owe me!" Tidus growled.
"I owe you nothing."
"Oh yeah! What about the pain and emotional torment I've been forced to suffer for the last 7 days?"
"What about Eiko coming in here every 10 seconds to yell about her hair not looking purple enough for the cameras?"
"You have a point…" Tidus sighed…
11.06am
"Are you sure it looks ok?" Eiko asked stroking her hair delicately.
"Yes Eiko."
"And you can see the horn and everything?"
"Yes Eiko."
"Oh good, was a bit worried there, you know you're a nice guy, I'll ignore Rikku for a while she's blonde…"
"Eiko…"
"Yes Big Brother… ooh that sounds so cool doesn't it."
"Yeah… get out."
11.11am
"Why'd you hurt her feelings she likes you, you know!" Tifa pouted her perfectly formed features.
"Oh no…"
"Come on try to show compassion." Tifa sighed.
"Show what now?"
11.17am
"Tifa and Eiko are crying you know."
"I know Rikku."
"It's your fault you know."
"I know Rikku."
"You know I knew you were horrible and mean but this is just downright… meeeeeean! You know."
"I know Rikku."
11.28am
"God damn women!" Cid growled "Why they gotta cry every 5 minutes?"
"Hormones?"
"That's just an excuse, they just want sympathy… God damn women."
"Yeah…"
"Yeah… well you've got the woman voice on today haven't you…"
"Yes Cid."
"Oh… so you know what I'm saying."
"No…"
Garden
1.23pm
Narrator: Tifa, Rinoa and Yuna have been sunbathing for 2 hours in the garden. Red is watching.
"This is the life…" Red hummed, "half naked humanoids thinking that they're gonna look hotter when they're gonna burn but yet they still wear barely anything… yeah this is the life… Oooh dead seagull.."
Narrator: Tidus, Zell and Cid are sitting in the kitchen watching the girls.
"Man I wish I could just… hrmm…" Zell groaned.
"Wish you could what?" Tidus asked.
"Hrmm…" Zell shuddered again.
"Hey back off, we all know Rinoa has the hots for me." Cid grinned tapping his chest.
"Back off?" Zell growled. "I saved the world with her!"
"So, I did the same with Tifa what's your point?" Cid grinned.
"I made out with Yuna in a pond…" Tidus sighed nostalgically.
"Oh man! What was it like do tell!" Zell said happily edging closer.
"He was sweet," Yuna grinned childishly.
"Didn't cop a feel did he?" Tifa asked warningly.
"No!" Yuna cried incredulously. "… At least I hope not…"
"Don't worry sweetie you would know if he did…" Rinoa said sympathetically.
"Was she good?" Zell asked again.
"Go away…" Tidus snapped, "It's my privacy here…"
"And he had this adorable smile!" Yuna sighed.
"Oh maybe he did…" Tifa wondered.
"Shut up!" Yuna retorted.
"Was it a gorky sorta smile."
"No… happy."
"He did." Rinoa laughed.
Diary Room
2.10pm
Narrator: Yuna is in the Diary Room learning about the birds and the bees.
"So he didn't…"
"No Yuna you're not pregnant." Big Brother assured her.
"Positive?" Yuna asked warningly.
"… Almost yes."
"But he…"
Bedroom
Narrator: Vivi is also learning about the birds and the bees. By Eiko! Quina is also in awe.
"So you have to kiss." Vivi asked looking more confused than normal.
"Yes! By jove I think he's got it!" Eiko squealed happily.
"What else?" Vivi asked carefully.
"Umm… that's it…" Eiko pondered for a moment. "Then you get pregnant!"
"I pregnant to toilet…?" Quina asked worriedly.
"You kissed the toilet?"
Kitchen
"Well, us males… cooking…" Cid smiles nervously.
"Why can't they help?" Tidus pondered.
"Because they are too busy baking themselves you idiot!" Rikku snapped.
"Why are you here?" Zell asked.
"Because, I don't fancy skin cancer, and I have a perfect tan anyway. Oh and besides if I weren't here then we'd be eating hot dogs." Zell twitches, "You need… a woman's touch." She grinned.
"What are you 9?" Cid snaps.
"17..." Rikku replies hotly.
"Those boobs and that outfit tell me differently. Grow up on a farm did we?" Cid continues.
"THAT'S IT." Rikku throws her spoon on the floor. "OUT! OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" She cries.
All the men run out of the area.
"That was easy." Cid shrugged settling on the sofa making himself comfortable.
"How do you do it?" Zell agrees.
"We should help her…" Tidus mused, a cushion is thrown at his head.
Dining Area
10.30pm
Rikku has finished the housemate's meal.
"You like it?" She asks hopefully.
"It's lovely!" Rinoa smiles.
"Delicious!" Yuna chimes in.
"Couldn't have done it better myself!" Tifa beams.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Cid snaps.
Diary Room
"Big Brother, what's the big idea?" Eiko asks angrily. "A house FULL of people and not ONE of us can cook!"
"Quina can. He's a gourmand."
"But he EATS it before anyone else does."
"Uh…"
"Actually that's a good idea Big Bro… I could kiss you!"
"Please don't"
"I knew you loved me!" She runs out of diary room.
"What did I do?" Big Brother asks.
Living Area
11.02pm
Narrator: Eiko is announcing to the housemates her revolutionary idea.
"I say we let Quina cook!"
"No!" Several voices replied.
"Yes!" Eiko retorted.
"NO!" This time louder.
"Oh come on why not?" Eiko sighed.
"Eiko," Rinoa patted her on the horn "Quina doesn't cook honey, he eats."
"But he made me rock fisted potato stew once!" Eiko snapped.
"It was nice…" Vivi chimed in agreement.
"Yeah right!" Cid laughed hysterically "Did it have frogs legs in there?"
"No!" Eiko growled, "It had ogolop in there."
"What's ogolop?" Tidus whispered to Yuna. Whilst Yuna shrugged Quina waddled to the kitchen area.
"It was good! And he didn't eat all of it, why won't you believe me?" Eiko squealed tears brimming in her eyes.
"Because you're 6!" Zell said rather hotly. "And 6 year olds lie!"
"So do not! Lying is for cowards! You're a coward!" Eiko squealed. "You're a wuss!"
"I… I am not!" Zell's face went a shade of red.
"WUSS!" Eiko shrieked a octave below not being able to hear.
Diary Room
11.33pm
Narrator: Eiko has been crying for the past 23 minutes
"He just said the most horrible things…" Eiko sobbed. "They're just not true!" She squealed and fell backwards onto the chair.
"What were these things he said?"
"He called me a brat! A brat! How rich coming from him! Mr Hotdog freak…" She said scornfully.
"Of course."
Garden
11.45pm
"There there, I'm sure he didn't mean it." Vivi pats Eiko on the head.
"He did. He's a selfish horrible horrible person!" Eiko wails.
"Well then why don't you do something… say something."
"I don't KNOOOOOOOOOW." Shrieks Eiko.
"Oh come on Eiko don't let him upset you."
"You're so sweet." Eiko sniffs.
"I am?"
"Yeah lovely and sweet and lovely." She kisses him on the cheek and goes to bed.
Vivi sits very still.
2.30am
Vivi has been sitting in the garden silently for the past two hours and three quarters.
Diary Room
3.04am
Vivi has come to the Diary room.
"Big Brother… I think I'm pregnant!"
"You're not."
"I am."
"You're not."
"But.. Eiko kissed me."
"That doesn't make you pregnant."
"Eiko says it does."
"Well Eiko can kiss my… you're not pregnant."
"What if I have to give birth in the Big Brother house."
"Vivi…"
"I'd go into labour on live television."
"Vivi…!"
"I'd be creating life."
"YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT."
"Yes I am. Eiko kissed me."
"That's not how you get pregnant."
"How do you get pregnant then?"
"You really want to know?"
3.05am
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
3.09am
Rinoa is in the Diary Room after attempting to comfort a hysterical Vivi.
"You told him what?"
"You heard me."
"WHY?"
"He wanted to know."
"I don't think so…"
"He did."
"WHY?"
"He thought he was pregnant."
"Come again?"
"He thought Eiko had impregnated him."
"You're kidding right…"
"Nope."
3.11am
"I have to hand it you. You taught the idiot where babies come from. Fantastic. Nicely done. I applaud you."
"Thank you Cid."
"One problem."
"Yes?"
"Why did you do it in the middle of the night! FOR CHRISSAKE MAN SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
"Clearly."
"Can't you give us something to knock him out for a while. Just while we sleep."
"Nope."
"You &&"
"Language Cid."
"Bite me."
Living Area
3.30am
"What the HELL did you do that for?" Tifa screamed.
"He was annoying." Quina said deadpan.
"He was terrified too!" Tifa adds.
"Still annoying." Quina said clearly not bothered.
Cid races in, Eiko follows.
"What's going on?" Eiko cried.
"Well for starters Vivi thought he was pregnant!" Rinoa snapped.
"Really?" Eiko asked confused.
"Yeah then Big Bro told him about the real birds and the bees if you know what I mean." Cid grinned.
"Ooooh… but… why is he unconscious on the floor?" Eiko asked bewildered.
"He wouldn't shut up." Quina stated holding frying pan up.
"Fair enough." Eiko stalks off leaving Tifa and Rinoa standing over Vivi with an annoyed Quina.
"Let's go to bed." Rinoa suggested.
"And leave him here?" Tifa asked.
"Yeah." Rinoa shrugged, "I don't want him waking up and screaming in the bedroom that's for sure."
"OK." Tifa sighs and follows Cid and Rinoa to bedroom.
Studio
Camera pans over a delighted Davina.
"Amazing isn't it folks. Simply fantastic. Little Vivi now knows the miracle of life."
She grins uncontrollably and begins to cackle.
"Just wait until what happens the next day! We'll see you in four after this commercial break."
Commercial Break
"Do you want to look truly menacing?" A voice asks.
"Boy I sure do!" A young boy replies with blonde flaxen hair gelled to his head stiffly.
"Well then Timmy look no further than this."
"WOW GEE WHIZ!" The boy cries. "Golly sir, what is it?"
"The only way to become a true super villain is to make yourself look downright gorgeous."
"Well…"
"Don some makeup, grow your hair extra long, sound like you have the voice of a choir boy and not forgetting stylish womanly robes."
"WOW!"
"Check out these well known villains."
Kefka flashes on screen.
"See our make up set made him truly menacing.
Sephiroth flashes on screen.
"Our extensions made his mane truly mean."
Kuja flashes on screen.
"Our sex change operation made this villain look truly evil."
Seymour flashes on screen.
"With our medication you will have the most truly menacing voice above all others!"
"Wow sir now I know how to be the perfect baddie!"
"Of course you do Timmy. Of course you do."
End of Commercial
Studio
Camera focuses on a grinning Davina
"So here's the next day of an amazingly eventful week, trust me you're gonna love it!" Davina makes an inquisitive glance
Day 9
Diary Room
10.04am
"He won't stop crying!" Tidus whined.
"Why not Tidus?"
"Because you told him where babies come from!" Tidus pointed an accusing finger at the camera.
"Moi?"
"What does that mean…?"
10.09am
"He's going mental! He doesn't get it! What's not to get? Man whammy go in woman… thingy… And there we go!" Rikku smacked her hands together dramatically.
"It really is that simple."
"It is… why'd you have to tell him! He doesn't even know what a whammy does!"
"He asked."
"But I ask if I can have bread and you don't answer me!"
"…"
"SEE!"
10.13am
"I think we've all learnt something these past two days…" Yuna sighed. "But I think I took it better…"
"You would."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
10.24am
"Big Brother what's a whammy?" Rikku asked.
"I dunno, you tell me."
"I forgot…"
Garden
11.07am
Narrator: Quina has made breakfast.
"We have finally found a use for Quina, he cooks!" Zell squealed happily. "Mm bacon…"
"See, I told you! I don't lie!" Eiko smiled happily.
"Yeah this is really good." Rikku munched in agreement
"Half of what we would've had…" Tifa groaned.
"But it's edible!" Cid retorted, "Unlike that burnt stuff you somehow cock up."
"Gee thanks… Least I know how to get you drunk quickly." she sighed and ate some more scrambled egg.
"How'sat sweetheart?"
"Two shots of vodka, 3 shots of whiskey, one shot of cranberry juice. You know for flavour…" Tifa smiled.
"Oh yeah… yum…"
"Wouldn't that get anyone immediately drunk?" Tidus asked to no one particular.
"Yeah, along with 5 shots of horse tranquillisers…" Tifa added under her breath.
Living Area
1.13pm
The housemates have been enjoying some cream cakes provided by Big Brother, a lure for Red who is still on the roof. Cream cakes happen to be his favourite food. Vivi is rocking in a corner crying.
"Mmmmmm! Wow these are amazing!" Eiko squealed happily.
"So creeeeeeeeamy…" Rinoa giggled.
"Vivi you want some?" Tidus wandered over offering his own cream cake.
With a sharp squeal Vivi ran to the bedroom. "Take that as a no…"
"You can't lure me down!" Red called from the roof. "I am happy here, I don't need you!"
"You sure, they're soooo creamy!" Tifa called in the most alluring manner she could manage.
"Shut up…" Red screeched.
"He's definitely cracking." Zell nodded.
"Duh." Rikku nodded.
"Oooh they even have the cherry on top!" Yuna giggled as she passed one to Tidus.
"Oh yeah!" Tidus also let out a small laugh.
"Ew…" Rinoa squeaked.
Garden
1.27pm
Narrator: Quina is trying to coax Red down.
"Go away Quina."
"Come down, cream cakes yum!"
"I said go away!" Red roared.
"But cream cake!" Quina insisted.
"I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN CREAM CAKE! OW! QUINA!"
"What?" Quina squeaked against Red's howling.
"Wait… ow… ow … ow…." Red started hobbling around his prowling area. "My skin… is burning…"
"Sweetie you have sunburn." Tifa walked out. "Yuna's getting it too, it's a pain isn't it."
"Ow… make it stop!" Red howled again.
"I would… but you're up there." Tifa smiled evilly.
"I won't come down." Red sneered.
"Ok then. Come on Quina let's leave the burnt hybrid up there."
"Mmmm burnt hybrid…" Quina muttered as walking away with Tifa…
"If he eats me…" Red growled "I will rip my way through his stomach… So help me god…"
Living Room
9.48pm
The Housemates have received a mountain of cream cakes in an attempt to get Red down.
"Too many cream cakes…" Rikku sighed.
"But they're edible!" Zell sighed.
"And highly addictive." Yuna smiled handing her cherry to Tidus.
"Will you two stop being so couple-y?" Rinoa seethed.
"Yeah it is annoying." Tifa added.
"What are you talking about you don't have a boyfriend." Cid retorted at Tifa's comment.
"N-no… But… you know… Cloud?"
"Nah, never." Cid grinned.
"Yeah you're right." Tifa sighed and sunk into her chair.
"But what about me! What about my feelings?" Rinoa piped up.
"No one cares," Rikku sighed wiping cream off her fingers.
"Shut up!" Rinoa shouted.
Diary Room
11.04pm
"I mean I hope Cloud does feel that way about me… but he's still all depressed over Aeris… She's dead I'm alive with… long hair and a willing soul… oh why won't he just ask me out!" Tifa groaned.
"Because he's smart?"
"&"(£ OFF!"
"Sorry…"
From outside Rinoa's voice rang "Tifa hurry up there's other people who have couple issues."
"Shut it!" Tifa put a lot of effort in to her t's.
11.15pm
"Finally she's out." Rinoa plonked herself into the diary room chair. "We need too talk!"
"We do?"
"Yes, about Tidus and Yuna…" She growled her simple face contorted with anger.
"Ooh do tell."
"They're just so damn annoying! So couple-y… and… and! I want Squall back, can't you just send him in here for a half an hour, it's all I'd need!" Rinoa asked pleadingly.
"Let's think…"
Rinoa made her pleading face closer to the camera.
"No," Big Brother smiled.
"You are the meanest person I've ever known!" Rinoa shrieked. "I just wanna see Squall, why won't you let me?"
"Because it's against the rules."
"Screw the rules I have needs!"
"I have a hole punch and the door locks to the house, and your existence in here under my little finger, so what's your point?"
Rinoa's black eyes seemed to go darker. "You're mean you know that!"
"I believe Rikku and Eiko have already informed me."
Rinoa gave a frustrated scream and leaves the Diary Room
Somewhere far far away…
Squall is sitting at his television set…
"I knew she wanted me…"
Bedroom
11.17pm
Yuna and Tidus have been eating cream cakes on Rinoa's double bed for the past 13 minutes.
"What are you doing on my bed?" Rinoa stormed in.
"Eating cream cakes, want some?" Tidus asked in a very soft demure.
"No! Get off my bed!" Rinoa shrieked.
"Ok," Tidus gets up.
"Yuna you gonna be getting off my bed any time soon? Or are you deaf?"
"I'm… going…" Yuna sighed. "Ow ow ow…"
"What's the matter with you?" Rinoa asked testily.
"Sun burn…" Yuna sighed. "I need a shower…" She added looking at Tidus.
"Ok then." Tidus smiled and walked into the garden.
Studio
"AH!" Davina giggled "We have jealousy in the house, poor little Rinoa wants her Squall, awww…" She wiped her a tear from her eye. "Ah well, we'll see what happens the next day, in four!"
Commercial Break
"Did you see Tifa just now?" Barrett walks on screen, "She's on Big Brother but her bar is still open!"
Pan out to Seventh Heaven
"We're back and better than ever, come every night to watch the lovely Tifa herself on our PLASMA WIDE SCREEN TELEVISION!" Barrett grinned nearly salivating as he stroked the enormous television
"Yeah… just come ok…" Cloud looked indifferent about his comment.
"Free sweeties for kids under 8!" Marlene chimed in.
"Free beer for Tifa look a likes!" Yuffie appeared.
"And free good times for all!" Barrett winked.
End of Commercial Break
Studio
"Alright it's day 10 in the big brother house filled with Final Fantasy characters, now we're in the 2 digits it's gonna get interesting don't you think?" Davina looked at the camera with an imposing grin flashing perfect white teeth. "And today… is nominations and the first alarm!"
Day 10
Bedroom
9.00am
Big Brother has been ringing an alarm through the house for 45 seconds. No one has woken up yet. The song is the victory fanfare from Final Fantasy IX!
"WOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Eiko squealed happily, "I won, I won!"
"What did you win?" Quina runs in.
"I won, I won!" Eiko jumps around miming playing her flute.
"I won too?" Quina asked.
"YES!"
"YAY!" Quina does happy dance.
Vivi wakes up. "What did we win?"
"I dunno, do the celebration dance you dumbo!" Eiko laughed.
"Oh, yeah…" Vivi grabbed Tifa's brush and twiddled it between his fingers.
The music then changed to the Final Fantasy 8 victory fanfare.
"GO AWAY!" Zell howled.
"Yeah I'm not in the mood to celebrate right now!" Rinoa yelled in agreement.
"But you won!" Eiko retorted.
"I DIDN'T WIN NOTHING!" Rinoa screeched. "I WANT SLEEP!" She added throwing her pillow over her head.
"Wait what did we win?" Zell asks.
"Sumthin…" Eiko giggled.
"Oh yeah!" Zell does his victory dance. Quina tries to copy. "Hey it's mine do your own!" Zell chides.
"Fine, you want me to jump up and down fine but I'll kill you Big Brother if I ever meet you." Rinoa groans and jumps up and down flicking her hair. "You happy?"
The Final Fantasy X fanfare music rings through.
"Oh yeah!" Tidus immediately grins and throws his hair dryer up into the hair like his sword.
"YAY! We won!" Rikku grins.
"We did?" Yuna gets up and bows.
Final Fantasy VII music finally rings through the house.
Red is already howling in the garden but Big Brother suspects it's not because he's happy.
"Alright if it'll make the alarm stop." Tifa sighed and does her pose
Cid starts swearing like a fish wife. "I WON'T DO IT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"
Big Brother decides he won't answer Cid and joins all the fan fare music together to make… a headache.
Diary Room
9.47am
"Make it stop!" Quina groans.
"No."
"Why not?" Quina asks in a pleading voice.
"Because Cid won't dance… Big Brother wants everyone to dance."
10.02am
"He won't do it!" Tifa screams.
"Why not Tifa?"
"Because he's a selfish pig who… who can't be bothered to be happy…. I may kill him!"
"You do that."
10.07am
"Hello Vivi."
"Hello Big Brother…"
"How are you feeling?"
"I have a headache…"
"Ok Vivi."
10.11am
"You told Vivi you would stop the alarm!" Tidus growls.
"I said "ok vivi"". Big Brother replies.
"Ohhhh… makes sense. Hey Big Bro can you… you know turn it down a few decibels?"
10.17am
"WHY'D YOU TURN IT UP?" Rinoa shrieked.
"Because Tidus asked me to."
"He did! That lying bum hole!"
10.23am
"Make it stop!" Cid howled.
"No…"
"Why not?"
"Because you won't dance… Big Brother wants to see you dance."
"No! Never again!" Cid growled.
"Ok then."
The fan fare music boomed into the Diary Room.
"I WON'T DO IT!" Cid shouted as loud as he could. "I SAID I WON'T!" Big Brother turned off the microphone. Cid's mouth was mouthing but no sound was coming out, his face was growing more and more red.
He fell off the chair.
"Fine…" He whimpered. He stood up and mimed putting his spear on his shoulder.
"Thank you Cid."
The fanfare stopped.
Living Room
1.03pm
It's nominations today and Big Brother has put all the housemates in the living room. First up was Tifa
Diary Room
"Ok first person I'm going to nominate is… Cid, because he wouldn't do that bloody dance and he blames Eiko. Now I'm not one for blaming kids, trust me I have to look after three, yes that includes you Barrett." Tifa sighed. "But, yeah I know we saved the world together but… he's just so annoying…"
"Who is your next nomination Tifa?"
"My next nomination will beee… Rinoa. She's always moaning about something, it's kinda annoying. I mean don't get me wrong she's great to talk to but… She's just… soo needy, she needs a lot of attention and not only that but she went all loopy about Tidus and Yuna and she also kicked me out the diary room last night."
"Thank you Tifa."
Next would be Red but he's still on the roof; so Cid is now nominating
"Right first Zell because he's a dumbass and only eats hotdogs, second Tidus because he's also a dumbass and is too nice."
"Thank you Cid."
"I am voting for Yuna and Tidus!" Rinoa sighed.
"No suprises there, but why Rinoa?"
"Because, they're too couple-y and it's making me depressed."
"Thank you Rinoa."
"No problemo!"
"Probably Cid."
"But why Zell?"
"Because I know he hates me… and he scares me too, god him and that potty mouth it's embarrassing you know."
"Next nomination?"
"Rinoa."
"Why?"
"I never saw this side of her when we beat Ultimecia but she's a loon! Complete and utter loon! She's all fawny over Squall it's scary… So yeah I think she'd be happier back with Squall."
"I am voting for Red, because he won't come down from the roof and it's getting old. Like real old."
"Yeah it is. Who else are you nominating Eiko?"
"Ummm Zell, because he called me a brat so I hate him."
"Ok Eiko."
"I'm gonna vote for Cid because he scares me…"
"Ok Vivi, who else."
"Um… Rinoa… because she scares me."
"Good Vivi, you may now leave the diary room."
"Ok…"
"I vote for Rikku!"
"I know Quina but why?"
"I vote for Rikku!"
"Why?"
"I vote for Rikku!"
"DAMNIT WHY?"
"I also vote for Eiko."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Ok Quina just leave me alone."
"Ok."
"I'm gonna vote for Red because this obsession with cream cakes… and seagulls… dead seagulls… EW!."
"Ok Rikku and who else do you want to nominate."
"Um… Probably Cid because he insulted me when I was trying to help him cook and it took me ages because I had no one to help me."
"Ok you may now leave the diary room Rikku."
"Thanks Big Bro!"
"Why do people call me that…?"
"I'm gonna vote for Rinoa because she is I-N-S-A-N-E! She told me to get of HER bed, I mean she gets a double bed to herself! What the heck is that about?"
"I have no idea Yuna, who else?"
"Red, get him off the roof for chrissake!"
"I nominate Red because… well come on… why is he still on the roof… He should just go home and sleep on someone else's roof."
"And the next one Tidus?"
"Eiko! She told Vivi that people get pregnant from kissing, so whenever I kiss Yuna now he goes all gaspy and gets all strange as if I just made her pregnant! She shouldn't go around lying like that, it's just not right."
Nominations have finished.
Cid. Red and Rinoa will face the public vote, all receiving four votes each, Eiko Tidus and Zell received two nomination, Yuna and Rikku received one each. Quina, Vivi, and Tifa did not receive any nominations.
Garden
4.00pm
Eiko and Vivi have been sitting in the garden for 12 minutes, both have been silent for this time.
"Do you miss Selphie?" Vivi asked Eiko.
"Who?"
Bedroom
5.12pm
Quina has been writhing on the floor for 20 minutes.
"Soooooo hungry!" Quina wails.
"Shhh we all are!" Tifa snaps.
"Why did we let him cook?" Yuna sighs.
"He asked and I'm not setting the place on fire again." Tifa replies.
"Still I doubt we'll be eating any time soon." Yuna muses.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Quina howls.
Kitchen
5.30pm
Cid has been attempting to cook for the past half hour.
"Piece of cake nothing to it!" Cid grins shaking the pan.
"You sure you know what you're doing?" Tidus asks chopping tomatoes uncertainly.
"Come off it, this is too easy, cook the onions add the tomatoes… sauce…. Pasta… finito!" Cid beams shaking the pan some more.
"Still." Tidus replies.
5.45pm
"It was bloody pasta! How could you set that on fire!" Rinoa yells.
"I don't know! It just spontaneously combusted for no reason whatsoever!" Cid yells.
"Sure it did." Rinoa sighs.
"You calling me a bad chef?" Cid snaps.
"Yeah actually I am!"
"Not as bad as you girl!"
"I had flammable substances!"
Dining Area
6.24pm
The housemates are eating pot noodles.
"Wonderful meal Cid." Rikku smiles thrusting her arm in the air and dancing as he gives her a bowl with pot noodles in.
"Delicious!" Tifa grins.
"Yummy." Yuna smiles.
"What are you all talking about!" Quina shrieks. "Tis pot noodle!"
A pot is hurled at Quina's head.
"CID!" Rinoa screams.
Diary Room
7.12pm
"Tell Big Brother where it hurts."
"My head." Quina whimpers.
"It was a nasty pot." Big Brother agrees.
"Nasty Cid, should have nominated him."
"Don't talk. It'll confuse you more, and your voice is irritating."
"Nasty Cid…" Quina mumbles.
"Big Brother suggests you go to bed, you may now leave the diary room."
Bedroom
8.34pm
Tidus, Tifa and Yuna are sitting in the bedroom talking about saving the world. Tifa is talking mostly about Cloud.
"I just really miss him…" She sighed.
"I know, I lost this guy for a couple of years!" Yuna grinned whilst giving Tidus a hug who looked rather uncomfortable.
"Years? How did you cope?"
"Oh you know… kept myself busy." Yuna sighed.
Tidus seemed to be getting emotional.
"I tried to forget but it was hard, I still loved him." Yuna looked at Tidus nostalgically.
"Aww that is so sweet!" Tifa cooed.
"Yeah… it is…" Tidus sighed.
Garden
Vivi, Rikku and Eiko are in the garden talking about how to apply fake tan correctly.
"Get the spray stuff, it works a lot better." Rikku advised Eiko.
"Really! You sure?" Eiko wondered slightly.
"Yeah, definitely, especially when you're trying to get to those hard to reach spots."
"Like?" Eiko wove her hand.
"Oh, like your back!"
"I'd get Vivi to do it." Eiko snapped, "Quick and easy. Cheap labour."
"Cheap labour?" Vivi asked a bit worried.
The Roof
9.46pm
Red is talking to Tifa. Tifa is sitting on the roof with him, don't ask how she got up there, Big Brother's not quite sure.
"So what's it like up here?" Tifa asked in a conversational way.
"Ok, quiet sometimes." Red sighed.
"Yeah looks pretty you can see the city from here."
"Yeah and on eviction nights you can see Davina."
"You can?" Tifa seemed to get a bit excited.
"Oh yeah, did last time."
"Oooh… Oh hey how are your sun burns?"
"Burning…"
Diary Room
"I never knew she missed me so much!" Tidus sobbed, "I didn't exist for 2 years and she waited!" He wailed.
"Aw, why are you crying Tidus?"
"I just… just… never knew she loved me so much…"
"Did you get busy in the afterlife?"
"NO! How in Yevon's name do you get busy in the afterlife?"
"Don't ask me you were dead not me."
"I wasn't dead!"
"You were!"
"Was not! At least I don't think I was…"
"I think you were, and you will be if you don't leave now."
Bathroom
10.25pm
Vivi, Quina, Rinoa and Cid are in the bathroom getting ready for bed.
"Clean clean you gotta be clean!" Rinoa sang.
"Yeah you do. What are you doing?" Cid asked in a near worried tone.
"I'm washing my under arms, they can get very smelly you know." Rinoa said in a no nonsense tone.
"They do?" Eiko asked a little worried.
"Of course!" Rinoa snapped.
"Ok then," and Eiko began scrubbing her under arms in the mirror.
Not wanting to miss out on the fun Quina joined in.
Cid just glared at them and finished brushing his teeth.
Bedroom
11.48am
All the housemates are now in the bedroom apart from Tifa and Red, and also Eiko and Vivi claim to be moon bathing in the garden.
"Is Tifa still on the roof with Red?" Rikku asked while trying to sort out her hair before bed.
"I think so…" Rinoa replied whilst tying her hair into a bun.
"I'll go get her." Tidus sighed and wandered out of the bedroom.
Garden
"It's such a beautiful night isn't it." Eiko sighed.
"It really is." Tifa agreed.
"Hey Tifa you gonna be getting down any time soon?" Tidus asked.
"No, not yet, am gonna stay with Red a little longer." Tifa answered.
"How long is that?" Tidus asked.
"Til the morning?"
"…"
"Yeah… Still Eiko and Vivi are worried about him too." Tifa tried to make light of the situation.
"No we're not, we're moon bathing." Eiko retorted.
Tidus gave a half smile and lay down beside Vivi, "Alright I wanna moon bathe too."
"Yay! Moonbathing is fuuun!" Eiko sang.
Garden
12.32am
Quina has also joined Red, Tifa, Tidus, Eiko and Vivi in the garden as they moon bathe. Zell, Yuna, Rinoa, Rikku and Cid are in the bedroom ignoring the moon bathers.
Eiko has began singing.
"I know a song that can get on your nerves, get on your nerves get on your nerves, I know a song that can get on your nerves, get get get on your nerves." Eiko sang gleefully.
Eventually Vivi and Quina began to join in. Quina tried to join in. Soon Tidus and Tifa also sang along.
"Why do you torment me? I came up here for peace!" Red whined.
Studio
"Well that's what you get for not coming off the roof Red!" Davina said as if talking to a child. "And that's all we have time for tonight! We'll see you on Thursday for what else happened this week and also to see if Red comes down or if Rinoa does kill Yuna or Tidus!" Davina cackled. "What fun!"