Wow, I'm so happy that I had so many wonderful reviews (I wasn't expecting much)! Thank you all so much! You guys rock! Even though the last chapter was completely and utterly insane, causing me to even look back and wonder what I was thinking.
Not that this chapter is any better. But now we've got 'The Sacred Stones' finally thrown into the mix. Oh, and it's much longer. Hope you like it
Okay, here we go, installment two!
In a time of darkness and despair, as the shadow of the Deamon King slowly begins to lengthen on the horizon, as the sun begins to set for possibly the last time over the grounds of darkling woods, our story begins…a tale of chivalry, of bravery…of self help…
Well, actually, it's just a load of random trash
---ooo---
"Alright…ANTE ME UP BOYS!" said Natasha, sitting around a poker table with a elder bael, a gargoyle, and a random zombie. She tossed a couple gold coins in the pot, and reluctantly, the monsters began rustling around in their coin purses and such to toss a few coins into the pot.
"Reet reeta reet?" asked the elder bael, poking Natasha with one of it's legs.
"Alright, alright," said Natasha, turning to the rest of the gang. "Jeffrey's going all-in!"
All the other monsters snarled to themselves, the gargoyle and zombie giving each other a 'we got him' look.
"Hey, you haven't got your hands yet, so shut up!" said Natasha, dealing the cards. "Okay, I'm feeling in the mood for one-eyed jacks this round so-"
FWAP!
The front flap to the tent was thrown open, showing the dark and twitching silhouette of Joshua, who had a defeated look on his face, as well as the fact that he was stripped down to his boxers. With that, he fell awkwardly into the dirt.
"Rowl rowl," said the Zombie.
"Hang on Mark," said Natasha, turning to Joshua. "Uh…Joshua? You've been out gambling again haven't you?"
"No I haven't," said Joshua.
"How come you've been stripped to your boxers?" asked Natasha.
"I went out like this," said Joshua.
Silence.
"You have a problem," said Natasha.
"DO NOT!" said Joshua.
"Look Joshy," said Natasha. "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times…I'M NOT MARRYING YOU UNTIL YOU STOP GAMBLING LIKE AN ADDICT!"
"I'm not an addict!" said Joshua angrily. "I can quit whenever I want to! Just Like I can quit shaving my legs when I want to!"
"You need help. Badly," said Natasha.
"WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU AND THE WHOLE THING WITH THE BATMAN OUTFIT?" Joshua asked angrily, pointing an accusing finger at her.
"I HAVEN'T DONE THAT IN WEEKS!" yelled Natasha. "That's it Joshua, you're going to see someone. Now."
"HA!" said Joshua. "Too bad, because you can't make me!"
With that, Natasha snapped her fingers. Then, like magic, Joshua disappeared.
---ooo---
"Okay, I suppose you can…" said Joshua awkwardly, outside of a huge, glass-windowed skyscraper in downtown Philadelphia Pennsylvania that had the sign 'Issues Co.' written at the top in huge, flashing red letters. "Well, you can't make me actually go inside!"
Poof!
"Okay, I suppose you can do that too," said Joshua, standing in the lobby room, that was lined with a nice carpet and comfy-looking chairs, a small, sparkling water fountain in the middle with a few coins tossed into it as soft, calming, light-rock music filled his ears. "Well, you can't make me put on clothes!"
Poof!
"Clerical magic is just plain spooky," said Joshua, suddenly in his normal outfit, as he shook his head to himself and walked up to the front desk made of white marble that didn't appear to have anyone at the desk for the moment. He glanced for a minute at the bell on the desk that had a 'ring me' arrow pointing to it, then, well, he rang it.
There was a brief silence.
Suddenly…something slowly started to appear from behind the desk, which turned out to be…a sock. However, as it exposed itself a little more, a pair of button eyes and a sewn on 'x' for a nose became apparent, giving away that this was, in actuality, a sock puppet.
The sock puppet stared, timidly shaking a little, at Joshua.
"Um…hello…" Joshua said to the sock puppet, as it quickly darted under the desk. "No! I…I wanted to talk to you for…"
The sock puppet timidly stuck its head over the desk, still shaking, but a little harder this time.
"Yes…um, I'm here…because-" Joshua started.
"Me Jojo," said the sock puppet.
"Hello…Jojo…" Joshua said, almost at a loss for words.
"JOJO WUV YOU!" screamed the sock puppet, suddenly darting up from the desk and thrusting it's lips into Joshua's cheek, nearly causing him to fall over.
"FORDE! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Kyle angrily to the sock puppet.
"NOTHING!" the blonde cavalier yelled, getting up from behind the desk to reveal that he was the puppet master.
"GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" yelled Kyle, giving him a sharp kick in the behind, causing Forde to shriek and scamper away from the front desk as fast as his legs could carry him. "AND IF I EVER SEE THAT SOCK AGAIN, IT GOES THROUGH THE SHREDDER LIKE THE OTHERS! I'm so sorry, Forde's new, and he's also clinically insane, so if he did ANYTHING to make you upset, I'll hunt him down and gut him like a-"
"No…it's okay…" said Joshua. "I'm just here for the-"
"Of course, the treatment!" said Kyle, whipping out a tape measurer, and throwing it around Joshua's waist, squeezing it tight, causing Joshua to squeak in discomfort and confusion. "Okay…twenty four inches…good, good…"
"Um…" said Joshua.
"PLAY THIS HANDHELD!" yelled Kyle, chucking a handheld 'Packman' game at Joshua, who just barely caught it in his hand, and tried to get a firm handle on it, just when Blinky ate Packman.
"Wait, hang o-" Joshua started.
"CLOCK'S TICKING!" yelled Kyle angrily.
"But I don't-" Joshua started.
"TIME'S UP!" yelled Kyle, snatching the game out of Joshua's hands, looking at the screen just as Packman got eaten again. "WHAT? ONE HUNDRED AND TEN POINTS? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO YOU CAN DO YOU OOZING, CRASS, GROSTESQUE, INSIGNIFICANT, DENSE LITTLE FAT HEAD? I SPIT ON YOU! I SPIT ON EVERY AVAILABLE INCH OF EXPOSED SKIN ON YOU! MAY YOU GET HIT BY A BUS AT A SOCIALLY INCONVINIENT TIME, AND MAY YOUR CHILDREN FOREVER BE CALLED 'ALICE'!"
"WHAT?" asked Joshua.
"That's it! Enough of your foolishness!" said Kyle, clapping his hands, as a bunch of random foot soldiers came out of nowhere dragging a huge pot of scalding water under a fire on a transport cart. "Into the cooking pot! This minute!"
"How the heck will this help with anything?" asked Joshua in a livid tone.
"What?" asked Kyle.
"How is this supposed to help me?" said Joshua irritably, indicating the pot of water. "Is this another one of those stupid 'Atkins' things?"
"Oh! I see! You must be here for the gambling addiction!" said Kyle, waving away the cooking pot, as the foot soldiers who wheeled it in looked rather sad. "I thought you were the one who was here for the customer abuse, Packman, and cannibalism package."
"I'm not a gambling addict!" said Joshua.
"Sure you aren't sparky," said Kyle, sitting down once again in his swivel chair behind the front desk. "Okay, to get to the gambling addiction room, you're going to have to go down the right hallway, take a right, take a left, take a right, take another left, take another left, and it's your second door on your right."
"Thank you-" Joshua said.
"-and after you reach that point, you have to turn around," continued Kyle. "Go back down the hallway you came from, keep going, count to ten four times very slowly, turn right, then take the stairs. Take a lot of flights, and it's the very first thing you'll see on the thirtieth floor."
"Thank-"
"I'm talking of course, about the water fountain," said Kyle, as Joshua sighed. "Take a nice long drink, then go right as far as you can, then go left…then go as far as you can, jump out the window, and land on the fire escape. Walk as far as you can down the fire escape, then climb through the window right bellow you."
"Uh…thank you…" said Joshua, turning around, and beginning the long walk to the room for people who are gambling addicts.
"Oh…wait…is that the way to the ladies' room?" thought Kyle out loud to himself. "Ah, well, no worries. I don't think it really matters."
"Hey, I'm here for the customer abuse/Packman/cannibalism package," said Epharium, walking in.
---ooo---
"Alright everyone!" said Colm, behind a huge podium in one of the rooms of 'Issues Co.' with a huge banner labeled GTWASATM. "Welcome once again to another productive meating of the Guild of Thieves Who Are Secure About Their Masculenity! Roll call! Rennac!"
"Here," said Rennac dully, eyes darting around, knowing that, soon, L'archel was going to pop out of nowhere and whisk him back into her service.
"Legault!" said Colm.
"Present," said Legault absentmindedly.
"Good! And I, Colm, am obviously here as well!" said Colm, giving them a 'Peace Man' sign. "Now men! Today, were are going to, once again, revel in our pride of being a member of the glorious male race in our ongoing celebration of brotherhood! So I'm thinking of a friendly fist-fight, followed by some good old fashioned soccer matches, partnered with king-sized wings and burgers, finishing off with some 'Grand Theft Auto: Little Rock'!"
"YEAH!" said Legault.
"Sounds good to me!" said Rennac.
"Ow…stupid…safety latch…" said Joshua, struggling to climb into the room from the fire escape, managing to get one leg over the window pane before losing his balance and falling into the room face-first.
"Ah! You must be our new member!" said Colm, as Joshua slowly stumbled to his feet. "Welcome to Gut…wa…sa…tim…"
"Oh yeah, that really rolls of the tongue," said Joshua, brushing himself off, vaugly looking at the sign. "What is this? A meeting of the guild of people who can't think up good club names?"
"Shut up!" said Colm. "It's that negative, nasty, condescending attitude that creates the need for this guild anyway! If people like you could just accept us for the way we are…THEN WE'D LIVE IN A BETTER WORLD!"
The other two began clapping at the inspiration.
"For instance!" Colm said, striking a noble pose. "I don't care that people snicker at me for having multiple body piercings and a blue ponytail! I know that I am NOT a girly boy, and no one can tell me differently, NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY TRY!"
"ALRIGHT COLM!" said Rennac, still clapping.
"WE HEAR YOU MAN!" cheered Legault.
"And what about Rennac?" said Colm, extending an arm to his comrade in the ongoing war for masculinity.
"Same thing with me!" said Rennac, getting up out of his chair. "I wear what looks like a combination of a headband and a tiara with little sparkly jewels all over it…BUT I DON'T CARE! One day, you will all learn to respect Rennac the mercenary WHO ISN'T IN THE SERVICE OF A BATHROOM-TILE GREEN HAIRED PRINCESS!"
"That's the spirit man!" said Colm, giving him a friendly slap on the back.
"And me too!" said Legault. "I mean, I have pink hair and quite possibly the worst pseudo-love confession 'A' support conversation ever, BUT LIKE HECK DO I CARE! I'll kick your butt any time I want to."
"ALRIGHT LEGAULT!" cheered Colm and Rennac, as they all got out of their chairs and gave each other friendly belly slams while cheering wildly.
"Okay…this isn't the gambling addiction room, so I'll just leave-" said Joshua awkwardly, heading for the door.
"WAIT!" said Colm, waving his arm. "Don't you want to stay here and feel masculine with us? I mean, no offense man, but you look like a guy who get's made fun off a LOT."
"…what are you talking about?" asked Joshua.
"Look in the mirror man!" said Rennac. "You look like a combination of Chi from 'Chobits', a broom, and the Little Mermaid!"
"Shut up!" said Joshua. "You shouldn't judge people purely on personal appearances!"
"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" said Heath, sticking his head in the window, then disappearing.
"Uh…whatever," said Colm. "Anyway, if you want to get to the gambling addict room, it's…magic, so you're going to have to follow a very specific ritual to get there."
"What kind of ritual are we talking about?" asked Joshua.
"You have to roll your pants down to your ankles and hop to it," said Rennac, the other two exploding into barely contained laughter the instant he thought it up/said it.
"…you're a bunch of bloody liars," said Joshua.
"Look, do you want to find the room or not?" asked Colm.
"Yes, and I'll do it with my pants ON, thank you," said Joshua flatly.
"Then you won't find it," said Legault.
"Yes I will," said Joshua.
"No you won't," said Rennac.
"Yes I will," said Joshua.
"No you won't," said Colm.
"Yes I will," said Joshua.
---ooo---
"Can't believe he fell for it," chuckled Colm, as Joshua hopped down the hallway with his pants rolled down to his ankles, exposing bright yellow boxers covered in red hearts.
"He's got nice legs…" said Legault.
"RENNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!"
"SHE FOUND ME!" screamed Rennac in a high-pitched voice, running full speed toward the window, and jumping out of it, his scream echoing all the way down the building.
---ooo---
"Stupid…pants…always…tripping…on…" Joshua huffed angrily, as he continued to hop down the hallway. "'Magic Door'. I'm such an idiot. Just because nothing makes sense, I automatically assume-"
Suddenly, on one of doors had a swirling mass of fog-like magical stuff suddenly fuzz into perspective. It turned into the shave of a large rectangle, and as this magical item materialized, it revealed itself to be…a sign.
Gambling Addiction Correction
"What do you know…those fem-boys were right," said Joshua, pulling open the door and beginning an awkward hop-skip into the room. However, the writing on the sign slowly dissolved into a puddle of smoke, and it slowly began to reform itself on it.
Well, actually, no. It's a fate worse than death.
"Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" said Serra, waving to everyone into the room, which consisted of Marisa, Rath, and Jaffar, all sitting in fold up chairs in front of her, doing nothing but stare at her. "Welcome to yet seminar for vocally challenged freaks like you!"
Absolute silence.
"I know that it's been almost a whole week, and we haven't even gotten past the 'quiet breathing' threshold," said Serra, with her usual maniacal smile, "so I bet your all going to break through the fear anytime soon! Have all of you practiced talking, like I asked you too?"
Silence.
"Funny…YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK TO SHAKE YOUR HEAD YES OR NO!" yelled Serra at the top of her lungs, causing barely a flinch from her patients. "Now try again…did you practice or-"
"I'm here…" said Joshua awkwardly, hopping into the room. Everyone stared at him and his pants-less legs (especially Marisa).
Silence
"NOW THAT'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD LOOK UP TO!" said Serra, pointing at Joshua. "He said TWO COMPLETE WORDS! I can't get you, ANY OF YOU, to even say 'hi'!"
"Huh?" said Joshua.
"BRAVO! BREAKTHROUGH! BREAKTHROUGH!" said Serra, clapping wildly.
"But-"
"Now now, sit sit sit!" said Serra, sneaking up behind Joshua and shoving him into a vacant fold-up chair, nearly tripping him several times because of his pants. "Okay, today we're going to try something a little different…NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT! I'm going to play some really bad pop music, and if you want it to stop, all you have to say is 'stop'! Okay?"
"Sure," said Joshua, as no one else spoke.
"STOP TALKING! YOU'LL DEPRESS EVERYONE ELSE AND HINDER THEIR PROGRESS!" said Serra, slamming a pointer finger into the play button of a boom box, as very bad pop music from the group 'Talentless Blonde People' (Mediocre Records). "Okay…now come one…say 'stop'…"
"STOP!" screamed Joshua, covering his ears in pain, as the other three twitched mildly, but still remained relatively unmoved.
"NOT YOU!" screamed Serra, turning up the volume.
"STOP! PLEASE STOP!" screamed Joshua, covering his ears harder.
"I SAID LET SOMEONE ELSE TALK! NAMELY ME!" said Serra, turning up the volume even more.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Joshua, falling out of his chair in pain, as the other three just gave him weird looks.
"THAT'S IT! THAT ATTIDUDE'S BEGGIN' FOR MAX VOLUME!" said Serra, about to push the 'deafen' button when-
SsssssssTHUNKukukukuk…
One of Rath's arrows shot out of nowhere and skewered the boombox into the wall, wobbling a little as it stuck out of it. Rath held his shooting position, and the other two clapped quietly.
"No! Bad Rath! Bad!" said Serra, banging him on the head with her healing stick. "Just for that, you don't get a piece of positive reinforcement cake this session!"
Rath hung his head sadly.
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!" said Serra, as Joshua still lay, panting heavily and wildly twitching on the floor. "Okay, new idea. Considering that all of you have 'Dark Pasts' or some other such nonsense like that, we're going to try to make you come to terms with it so that maybe you'll start talking! So basically…"
She pulled out the 'relieve unhappy childhood memories' stave.
"HAVE FUN COMING TO TERMS WITH YOUR DARK SIDES!" she said, as all three people in the chair stared at her for a moment in pure fear, before their minds were consumed with terrible memories…
---ooo---
"No, you may NOT take ballet!" yelled Marisa's father angrily, holding up a huge, bloody sword, as a seven year old Marissa stared at him sadly with a ballet tutu by her side on a coat hanger. "You're going to be an arse-kicking sword lady with pink hair that doesn't talk, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!"
---ooo---
"No, you may NOT take ballet!" yelled Nergal, as a seven year old Jaffar stared at him sadly with a ballet tutu at his side on a coat hanger. "You're going to be a homicidal angel of death with no pupils that doesn't talk and wears a silly hoodie, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!"
----ooo---
"Hello!" said a grey, bug eyed chinchilla to a seven year old Rath in the middle of the plains. "I'm Marcus, and I'm a certified cartoon chinchilla!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Rath in pure horror.
---ooo---
"That's right! Come to terms with it!" said Serra, as all three were twitching madly while trying to come painful childhood memories. "Oh, I smell proooogreeeeess!"
"What the heck are you doing?" said Joshua, angrily pulling up his pants. "This isn't going to help them! You're just making them-"
"THAT'S IT!" said Serra, pulling out her wand. "I'VE HAD JUST ENOUGH OF YOUR PROGRESS-STOPING SMART MOUTH! Haven't you ever heard of 'taking one for the team'? You are so…so…SELFISH!"
"Um-" Marisa started through the tears.
"Shut up!" said Serra, cutting her off. "Alright, that's it! That kind of attitude screams 'throw me out the window'!"
"WHAT?" yelled Joshua, as Rath fell out of his chair, his body consumed by spasms of terror, as the other two were barely hanging on.
"Good point. You'll be stopped by the fire exit, making it very ineffective!" said Serra, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Yeeeeeeeeeers…I think slamming you through the floor will be much more progress-inducing!"
"WHAT?" yelled Joshua, but that was a second before he received a massive whack on the head by Serra's stave, sending him crashing through the floor onto the room bellow.
"THAT'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO HINDER PROGRESS YOU JERKY 'LITTLE MERMAID' REJECT!" yelled Serra through the hole in the floorboards, then turning to the rest of her group. "Right! Now that we've gotten that out of the way, how are you guys doing?"
All three of them stared at her with hallow eyes.
"You're welcome!" Serra sung.
That's when all three of them pulled out killing edges.
---ooo---
"Well Mr. Marcus, I think we've made some real progress today!" said Eirika sweetly, scribbling on her clipboard, as Marcus sat in a psychiatrist victim chair. "Do you feel a lot better?"
"Yes…I…I think so," said Marcus.
"So what have you learned in this seminar Marcus, not to be confused with an evil, certified, cartoon chinchilla?" asked Eirika.
"I learned that there are much better ways to compensate for terrible stat growth than by stealing everyone else's experience points," said Marcus calmly, almost with a relieved smile on his face.
"Wonderful! Wonderful Marcus!" said Eirika, getting up to shake Marcus's hand. "I hope that the next time I see you it'll be your-"
CRASH!
Joshua crashed through the ceiling, and landed hard on the flooring tile at Marcus and Eirika's feet.
"Oh dear…" said Eirika. "I wondered why no one signed up to be under Serra's room for three months…"
"Ow…my head…" said Joshua, stumbling to his feet. "That pink haired chick…is nuts…"
"Such…" said Marcus, his eyes widening.
"Uh…oh…" said Eirika.
"Lovely…you have such lovely EXP…" said Marcus, his face being twisted into a homicidal smile, creeping closer to Joshua, who was backing away in more of disgust than fear.
"Marcus! No!" said Eirika. "What have we talked about?"
"EXP!" yelled Marcus, getting ready to spring on Johsua.
"NO!" screamed Eirika, barely holding him back in a full-nelson. "RUN! GET OUT OF HERE! HE'S HAVING A SLIP BACK!"
"YOUR EXP SHALL BE MINE!" screamed Marcus, but Joshua followed his advice and darted out of the room as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't even look behind him when Eirika's ear-splitting wail echoed through the hallway as her EXP was being sucked out like a giant sponge.
"OH MY GOD!" yelled Joshua, running in a random room and slamming behind the door behind him with enough force to send it off its hinges. "Okay…okay…regroup…gotta…"
"OH MY GOD! I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU POMPUS, ARROGANT, PIG-LICKING LITTLE FRUIT FLY! I PRAY THE NEXT TIME I EVER SEE YOUR NAME, IT'LL BE ON EITHER A DEATH WARRANT OR AN OBITUARY!"
"What?" asked Joshua, whirling around to the direction of the insult, at which he saw our favorite purple-haired lady mage, Lute, yelling at what appeared to be her own reflection in a hand mirror. Across from her was Innes, doing what appeared to be the same.
"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL, DON'T YOU, YOU GREASY-HAIRED GIRLY BOY?" yelled Innes into the mirror. "I'VE SEEN HANDSOMER LUMPS OF DNA IN A LOW-RANKING GARBAGE DUMPS, AND I'VE SEEN MORE INTELLINGENT PIECES OF FILTH FLOATING AROUND IN A TOILET!"
"Uh…" said Joshua.
"WHAT?" both of them snapped at him angrily.
"Nothing, uh…" said Joshua. "This isn't…the Gambling Addiction Room, is it?"
"Oh no, no, no, this is Feelings of Superiority Correction-ISN'T THAT RIGHT YOU BLOODY FAT HEAD?" she yelled once again into the mirror.
"Oh…I see…" said Joshua. "Um…fantastic job."
"AT LEAST SOME GIT THINKS YOUR COOL, YOU SELF-CENTERED BRAT!" they both yelled into their respective mirrors.
"Neither of you would know where the Gambling Addiction room is, would you?" asked Joshua.
"Oh, it's right over there," said Innes absentmindedly, pointing to a door behind him. This door was somewhat see-through, with lights strung inside it that were turned on, making it look like the door was shining. Written on it in big, neon letters was 'GAMBLING ADDICTION CORRECTION ROOM (really, honestly, we're serious this time)'.
"Oh, thank you," said Joshua, as really dramatic music began playing in the background, as a long path up to the door was suddenly lit up by more of the pretty lights, and a fog machine somewhere was kicked into gear, creating a curtain of smoke that crept across the floor, making it look like Joshua was walking on a cloud to the door, as Lute and Innes continued to insult themselves behind him. The dramatic music reached its climax, as slowly…ever so slowly…Joshua opened the door.
"CLOSE THE DOOR!" screamed someone in the room, revealing that the room itself was completely dark.
"Um, o-" Joshua started.
"I SAID CLOSE IT!"
"ALRIGHT!" yelled Joshua frantically, slamming the door behind him, immersing the room into total darkness. There appeared to be no other source of light in the room, not even a window.
"So…YOU WANNA MAKE THE GAMBLING ADDICTION GO BYE-BYE?" said the voice.
"Yes…actually," said Joshua, not being brave enough to let go of the doorknob for fear he would be completely lost in the dark. "Um, shouldn't we turn on a light in her or s-"
"NO! IT WOULD INTERFERE WITH THE AURA!" yelled the voice. "So you want to get rid of the addiction…WHAT WILL YOU DO TO ACCOMPLISH THIS?"
"Preferably something that I can actually see…" said Joshua.
"SHUT UP!" yelled the voice. "Changing your life comes at a price Joshua, six foot nuthin', wearing grey pants, a black coat, black size twelve shoes, and a silly hat!"
"How do you know that?" asked Joshua.
"I know all…for I have become one…with the power…" said the voice.
"Look, I don't want to become one with anything I can't see," said Joshua.
"Then you will never overcome!" screamed the voice. "I HAVE OVERCAME BECAUSE I ACCEPTED THE POWER! I AM STRONGER! I AM IN-VINC-A-BLE!"
"That's great…I'm not doing it," said Joshua.
"SHUT UP!" yelled the voice. "YOU MUST SUCCUMB TO THE MASSIVE POWER IN ORDER TO DEFEAT YOURSELF! YOU MUST SUBMIT! I COMMAND YOU! SUBMIT!"
Joshua then clicked on the lights, to reveal Forde in some sort of berserk Yoga position in a pink leotard, holding a pogostick in one hand, his sock puppet in the other, balancing on his desk on one leg about three feet from Joshua's face.
Silence.
"JOJO LOVE YOU!" said Forde, stuffing the sock puppets face in Joshua's cheek again.
"THERE YOU ARE!" yelled Kyle, slamming open the door, nearly throwing Joshua over, holding a net in one hand, and a hypodermic needle in the other. "Alright, you had your warning! TIME FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT!"
"ACH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Forde, springing off his desk, using Joshua's head as a spring, back flipping over Kyle's, and landing in a ninja position on the ground, running away screaming with Kyle hot on his tail.
---ooo---
"You know, I wondered why I was paid five dollars to walk on this street with this sign on his neck," asked Canas to himself, with a sign around his neck that had 'Random Innocent Bystander' written on it.
"EXP!" screamed Marcus out of nowhere.
"Well, I wasn't really sure what I learned that day about gambling addiction and how to handle it," said Joshua to the audience, as he walked down the road, as Jaffar and Marisa were supporting a sobbing Rath in the middle of them. "However, one thing is for sure, after that experience, I don't want to gamble any time soon for fear that Natasha will send me back here or anything that's like here, so in a way…perhaps it has been corrected…oh, I'm sorry, am I narrating in the first person again? Terribly sorry…terribly sorry indeed."
"That being said, it's time for us to say good night!" said Rebecca, sitting in the same chair Vaida sat last chapter, except that it was in the middle of traffic somewhere on route 46, holding the 'HEADBUTT' story book as she closed it, as Canas ran away screaming behind her on the sidewalk. "Good night to all of you, and-"
"EXP!" screamed Marcus, popping up from behind Rebecca's chair. Rebecca whipped out her bow, and was about to pop his head like a balloon when.
"HI-YAH!" screamed Natasha, slaming a spiked heal boot into Marcus's head from a diving areal kick, wearing a skin-tight batman costume and a mask.
"WE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU BATMAN!" said a police officer, popping out of a manhole cover (or personhole cover if you aren't one of those politically incorrect gits).
"THANK YOU!" said Natasha, holding out her cape and running away full speed. "TO THE BAT MOBILE! NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER BAT-MAN! NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER NER-"