Auron

A/N: Finally, I'm back in business! I apologize for the wait, since that the original Character Chats was taken off of since that I couldn't interview characters in a fanfic myself; the only real difference between those episodes and the new ones regards a new Host: Kupo Moogle. Getting the first three episodes back again will take a while, so I thought I'd start off with Auron's instead.

(Theme Song---which is just some random song)

Announcer: Live from Square Moogle Studios in the middle of nowhere, please welcome...Kupo Moogle!

(Kupo Moogle is sitting down, on the stage and is facing a huge crowd of people)(Kupo appears to be waiting around for no apparent reason).

Kupo: Uh, hey! W-welcome to the new edition of Character Chats!

(Applause)

Kupo: Yeah, thanks. Um, for those of you who didn't read the first three original episodes, the rules are pretty simple. I, Kupo, will interview our guest for this episode and, well, see what happens! That's the gist of it, and after all the FFX party members are interviewed, I'll move on to the other Final Fantasy characters...Anyways, uh...for our first guest, p-please welcome...A-Auron from Final Fantasy X! Oh, no...

(Auron walks in, and is carrying the Masamune behind his back)(Kupo starts whimpering like a sick puppy)(Auron sits down).

Kupo: Auron! Uh, welcome!

Auron: Hmph!

Kupo: (Begins to walk off the set) Is that all you have to say? 'Cause, uh, we can finish this episode right there, and you can leave now! And so can I---

Auron: ---Hey! Quit your yappin' and get started!

Kupo: Fine...Do you know the rules?

Auron: 'Course. Get going.

Kupo: Right. Here's your first question: Well, this is kinda for my own views, but, uh, is there really Sake in that jug of yours?

Auron: It's a stupid question, but I'll answer it anyways. There isn't Sake in here, and there never was.

Kupo: Um, okay, but what is, then?

Auron: Orange juice.

Kupo: WHAT! The legendary guardian of High Summoner's Braska and his daughter Yuna who carries a big ass sword that could cut me into pieces right now, drinks orange juice? Well, it's not bad for you or anything, I'm just surprised, that's all.

Auron: Of course. All mysterious and tough ronin warriors need their Vitamin C. Now, please, ask a more decent question and get moving!

Kupo: Do any of the other party members know this?

Auron: Now that you mention it, Tidus nicked my jug one time and drunk nearly half of this stuff. I told him he'd be eating through a straw if he told anybody.

Kupo: (sweatdrop) Eating, huh? I'll give you your second question now: Dealing with Jecht, ou and Braska had met him in a prison cell in Bevelle---hey, that rhymes! Am I right?

Auron: Shut up and move on!

Kupo: I am so sorry, mister scary guy with the big sword who wants to slash me up into pieces...

Auron: Hmph!

Kupo: Hmph you! Moving on, at first you did not want Jecht to join you and Braska, but Braska insisted and Jecht ended up coming with you anyways. Did you not want Jecht in your party all because he was a drunk and claimed to come from Zanarkand?

Auron: That, and well, he was a real jerk in the beginning. Braska must have been deaf to not notice this stuff, but I did. But ever since the incident when he attacked the shoopuf and nearly used up all our gil, Jecht improved.

Kupo: I can imagine that. Here's your third question: Also according to the Internet. it also says there that because you didn't want to marry the High Priest's daughter when you were younger, Yevon made you an outcast and you went off to join Braska, who was also cast out for marrying an Al Bhed. Did you meet Braska right after you were sent away, or was it a year or so later?

Auron: Hm, I had actually met Braska a couple of minutes after I was fired from my job as a warrior monk in Bevelle. Braska was with his girlfriend, an Al Bhed woman of course, and he was in a fury about why he couldn't get married. They called the woman a 'heathen,' and a 'disgrace to Yevon,' so when Braska and his girlfriend turned to leave I walked over to them and told that I was also an outcast.

Kupo: Interesting. Did you become friends after that day?

Auron: Yes, we did. And after Braska's wife was murdered by Al Bhed-haters, we had become especially close---well, friend-wise. But come on, ask me a better question!

Kupo: Yeah, whatever. Here's the fourth question: In Kingdom Hearts II, also created by Square Enix, you're supposed to work alongside Sora as he faces Hades who revivew you, right?

Auron: Yes, but keep going before I get even more pissed about being here.

Kupo: And you betray Hades and join Sora, correct?

Auron: Again, yes, but get a move on already! I'm supposed to have a colonoscopy in half an hour.

Kupo: A colonoscopy? 'Course, that's the kind of thing you'd expect from a guy like you, right? I mean, with you being an ex-guardian and everything you'd work yourself to death!

(Auron stands up and pulls out the Masamune).

Auron: To death, you say?

Kupo: Uh, n-no! I meant something else, but anything but that! I'll finish up the fourth quesiton now: Well, Sora is a good kid, but why join him and leave Hades?

Auron: First of all, Hades had major B.O.

Kupo: No kidding. That's the kind of thing you'd expect from a Greek God, right?

Auron: Heck yeah. There's other stuff, too.

Kupo: Hm, what else?

Auron: Well, he summoned me without warning, and I barely knew the guy. Besides, why would some flaming blue-haired psychopath want to have me fight Sora? It's all just bull.

Kupo: Nice answer. Here's your final question before this episode is concluded: Um, also in Kingdom Hearts II, the Square Enix people made it so you lost the sun glasses, you were cleanshaven, and you also appeared to be younger. Since that KH2 is rated E for Everyone and FFX is T for Teen, did they want you to appeal to the younger gamers out there, or something else?

Auron: Well, the game creators wanted me to have a 'change' in my look, but wanted to have the old me from FFX there too, so there were some things they kept the same. Besides, I didn't really need the sun glasses; most of the time in FFX there wasn't too much daylight. And I was starting to get traces of lice on my chin, so shaving was my best bet.

Kupo: Um, okay...I didn't even know that was possible.

(A/N: I really don't; I'm just guessing)

Auron: Are we done yet? The doctor awaits!

Kupo: Fine, already! Jeez, you really are an old farty windbag!

(This time, Auron pulls out the Masamune and holds the tip of it at the Kupo's throat).

Auron: You were saying?

Kupo: N-nothing, I---

Auron: Call me anything you want, but just remember that the tip of this katana is very sharp...

(The Kupo backs away at least five feet from Auron).

Kupo: Well, uh, that's our show! Join us next time, on Character Chats! Next episode: Blonde, bubbly, and buoyant---

Auron: Buoyant! As in she can float?

Kupo: No, dammit. It just means that she's cheerful and outgoing. Hey, I saw it online, okay?

Auron: Hmph!

Kupo: Hmph yourself! As I was saying, this happy-go-lucky Al Bhed princess was Yuna's last guardian in FFX---and also her first cousin! You guessed it, Rikku from Final Fantasy X and X-2 will be here with us next time, on Character Chats! As for myself...I'd better get out of the studio before something, uh...

Auron: Unfortunate, happens?

Kupo: Uh huh...RUN!

(Before you can say, 'Catch that Moogle,' the Kupo speeds out of Square Moogle Studios being chased by Auron, who has the Masamune held tightly in his hands)(Kupo doesn't appear back at the studio for a week)(Later on, Kupo returned with bad slash marks all over...)

CHAT AWAY!

A/N: I've had this on my desktop for ages—-at least I'm starting Character Chats again.

-Abzanguinaut342