Character Chats: Tidus
A/N: I'm really sorry, people for the delay, but today I convinced myself to post what was originally the 1st. episode of Character Chats onto But since I had to put the show on hiatus, I decided to make this episode second instead of first. By the way, starting this Sunday the 9th I'll be away at tennis camp for 4 weeks and won't be able to post any new chapters until August 6th when I return.
-Abzan342
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the FF characters, only Kupo Moogle the Host.
Kupo: Hello, everyone, and welcome to "Character Chats," where I will one by one interview various Final Fantasy people and others from different video games and hopefully find out their deepest darkest secrets! No, I'm kidding, but interviewing is still something that must be done. Anyways, with me today is Tidus, from Final Fantasy X and the sequel X-2. Tidus, come on down!
(Tidus enters the room, waves at the audience, and sits down).
Kupo: Welcome, Tidus. How are you today?
Tidus: I'm okay, I guess. But according to last week's episode, wasn't Rikku suppossed to be here today?
Kupo: About that. Well, Rikku was busy on some mission for the Gullwings, and won't be here until later.
Tidus: Okay, then. I kinda had a rough time getting here---I had trouble finding parking for my shoopuf.
Kupo: Wait, that big elephant thing with the long curly trunk? That stinks. So let's get started then. This is how it'll go: I'll ask you some questions and you'll answer them as best as you can.
Tidus: Sounds good to me.
Kupo: First question: We know that you were in the Farplane after you disappeared, however, could you describe it for us?
Tidus: This is a bit hard to explain, but the Farplane where Auron, Braska, and my old man were is much different than people think. It was pretty much like Spira except the sky was pink and there were endless plains everywhere. I was trying to avoid my old man the whole time because he was nagging me on about how I'm a crybaby and everything. So I hung out with Auron and Braksa; they helped out a lot. Now that you mention it, Auron acted like a whole new person in the Farplane.
Kupo: How so?
Tidus: Well, he actually has pink flamingos in his front yard and owns a whole collection of them in his house.
Kupo: Uh huh. Not the kind of thing you'd expect from Auron, right?
Tidus: Yep.
Kupo: So what did you do on the Farplane? It appears that the people from Squaresoft---actually it's Square Enix now, didn't describe the place in great detail.
Tidus: Well, I walked around a lot---and avoided getting hit by my old man's blitzball. But what's Squaresoft or Square Enix? The Squaresoft one sounds kinda plushy.
Kupo: It's none of your concern. Next question: When did you first start to fall in love with Yuna?
Tidus: About Yuna, well the moment I met her on Besaid I was instantly hooked. I swear to god, she's so much different than the other girls I've met, and I knew a lot of girls in Zanarkand.
Kupo: I thought so. They way you looked when you first saw Yuna; it was pretty obvious you liked her.
Tidus: (Grins) Yup.
Kupo: Whoa, look at the time! Folks, we're gonna have a quick commercial break and get back to the show in a couple of minutes!
Tidus: (whispers, not knowing the camera is still on) Yo, Kupo Moogle...thingy.
Kupo: Yeah?
Tidus: (still whispering) Isn't it true that to save money you have these really cheap ads?
Kupo: Um, you could say that. But don't tell anyone; just sit back and watch the entertainment.
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CHARACTER CHATS IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
"TIDIE-WHITEYS!"
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Tidus: Buy a pair of 'Tidie-Whiteys' today!
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Kupo: Welcome back to Character Chats! Okay Tidus, here's your next question: Two years after you disappeared, Yuna changed dramatically. Not only physically, but mentally as well. Do you think was good for her overall?
Tidus: Of course. Yuna felt really bad about herself in the beginning, but she seems more independent now. Also, they way she changed physically was awesome.
Kupo: I imagine that anyone who played FFX-2 was wondering how you'd react to her outfit. Am I right?
Tidus: You bet. I really liked how she had the Zanarkand Abes symbol on the front of the shirt she wears (it makes me stare at her longer...), and those short shorts. Or are they jean underwear? It doesn't matter, 'cause she has an ass that makes me want to---
Kupo: ---Next question! (phew!) If you had the option of doing so, would you go back to the Zanarkand that you're familiar with?
Tidus: To tell you the truth, I'd only like to visit there for a little while. I've traveled all over Spira a lot, and I feel like I know more about it. Besides, I've met the girl of my dreams in Spira; there's not girl like Yuna out there.
Kupo: Right. Final question! Remember the 'Perfect Ending' scene in FFX-2? How you and Yuna were in Zanarkand?
Tidus: Yeah, what of it?
Kupo: Well, the game creators didn't say if it happened a couple weeks later after the episode, a month later, or possibly years after! Who knows, really. Besides, you and Yuna could have possibly...uh, yeah.
Tidus: (sounding pissed) You were saying?
Kupo: Anyways, uh, if it's not that personal, then what were you and Yuna doing before that?
Tidus: (grinning) It wasn't personal; I had just proposed to her there. Luckily for me, she accepted. Not only that, but that day happened a couple of weeks following when Yuna and I were reunited on the beach in Besaid.
Kupo: Nice one! When's the wedding?
Tidus: In a couple of months or so. Say, do you think your producers from Square Moogle Studios could sponsor the wedding? It could be videotaped and everything!
Kupo: (stares long and hard) Hello, Earth to Airhead! We're not even in the same dimension! Besides, my producers will kill me if I spend anymore!
Tidus: Fine, have it your way.
Kupo: Tidus, I know that I'm only suppossed to ask you five questions, but I'm going to add a sixth since that we have enough time. You follow?
Tidus: Ask away.
Kupo: You know how you're the star player of the Zanarkand Abes and---
Tidus: ---Of course I am! I first started playing blitzball when---
Kupo: ---I wasn't done yet; I'll just get to the point: What the hell's an 'Abe?'
Tidus: Search me. But tI think the word Abe comes from 'able,' so maybe that's why my team always wins; they're 'able' to succeed!
Kupo: (sweatdrop) Right...Personally, they remind me of fat gorillas.
Tidus: Huh?
Kupo: Nothing on you, of course. Well, it seems that our time is up! Thanks, again, Tidus, for joining us here today! Next time: She was once a summoner who was first insecure about herself, but is now one of Spira's top idols! With me, Kupo Moogle next week is Yuna, High Summoner and Songstress of Spira! (Not to mention Sex Symbol...) Join me next time, and remember...
KEEP CHATTING ABOUT CHARACTER CHATS!
(Meanwhile, outside the studio...)
Kupo: (walking into the Square Moogle Studios parking lot, singing) Such a beau-ti-ful mornin', la ti da ti---WHA!
(There is a hugh pile of shoopuf crap on Kupo's car. You could smell it a mile away; but Kupo was too busy singing to notice. There's also a note on top of the car. Kupo picks up the note and reads it).
(Dear Kupo, NEVER USE MY COMMERCIAL AGAIN! Sincerely, Tidus. Aka, the Tidie-Whitey Guy).
Kupo: Shit.
(Kupo faints).
A/N: Wow, after several months of not having this episode online, I finally got it back in business! And people, I'm serious about this, but please review! I'm desperate here and really want to hear your thoughts on this and Auron's episode!