Now, I may have forgotten to mention this in times past but, sadly, I do not own Fire Emblem. Now, I know this fact disappoints you all, and now all of you hate me and want to never read my fic again, which I understand, because doing a disclaimer late is naughty and bad.
Okay, this is actually a reposting of 'Musical Morphs: Part One', because when I was told just how bad the spelling was (I was so by patting myself on the back distracted by being able to spell 'Ephraim' right, the spelling in this one was more atrocious than usual…). So…ah…if you were unfortunate enough to read the first posting, I'm so sorry! (I swear I don't have a terrible mental disorder, honestly, I'm just a stupid can't-spell-worth-anything-er). This isn't the first time I had to take down a chapter to edit it for stupid mistakes.
More open and violent abuse of Sacred Stones! Lez Yayz!. Oh yes, and Innes's GH ability is exactly like my own MAD L33T SKILLZ! (ha ha ha…) And the 'quick word from our sponsors' was inspired by an animated comic on feonline dot net.
---ooo---
And now a quick word from our sponsors
WHAT THEY SAY
Tana: Hello Marissa!
Marisa: Princess.
WHAT TANA HEARS
Marisa: I know it seems like I'm a souless non-talkative person, but in actuality, I'm shy and I have a hard time talking to other people due to the fact that I had a lackluster past and my life has been sad and hard. Also, considering I've never had a real close relationship with anyone, not even my father, I simply don't know how to form meaningful friendships with anyone.
Tana: Oh, that's terrible! Don't worry, I'll respect you and be your friend!
WHAT MARISA HEARS
Tana: If you agree to be my friend, I'll probably shut up!
Marisa: Thank god.
Okay…so we have no sponsors…DON'T RUB IT IN OUR FACE!
That being said, in Grado's Keep, all is not well. What is about to take place shall affect all of Magvel, and a dark blanket of terror shall envelope her people, swirling and boiling into a sinister maelstrom of fear and despair…
"AT LAST! I HAVE DONE IT!" cried Lyon in triumph over a huge, boiling cauldron. "My research has been completed at last! I have finally created the thing that will save my father's life! Knoll! Knoll, come in here!"
"Prince Lyon?" cried Knoll, rushing into the room, knowing that Lyon's psychotically pleased tone could only mean that he had just found what he thought he found. "Is it true…did you…did you really…"
"Yes…I have created a power equal to, no, far superior to that of the Sacred Stone!" cried Lyon. "I have found it! A power that can save thousands and thousands of lives! NAY, A POWER THAT CAN REVERSE THE VERY NATURE OF DEATH!"
"So it is…" said Knoll, almost mystically.
"Yes Knoll…" said Lyon, reaching into the still simmering cauldron. "Be-OW! OW! HOT!"
"Idiot," said Knoll.
"SHUT UP!" said Lyon, pulling out the object. "BEHOLD! THE DARK STONE!"
"…well…it's more of a magenta…" said Knoll, looking at the smooth, spherical stone in Lyon's hands, which was indeed a dark, purplish-pink color.
"NO IT'S NOT! IT'S A DARK STONE!" yelled Lyon. "At last…I have a piece of supreme power in my hands…a power that I have to alter the fate of many a man…with this…I can save countless lives…oh, what a tremendous divine strength I possess…"
"It's very cute," said Knoll.
"SHUT UP!" said Lyon. "Now…what to do first? Oh…what to do? Cure cancer? Fix the ozone layer?"
"Put it on display in a knickknacks store and watch girls squeal over its adorableness?" asked Knoll.
"I-SAID-SHUT-UP!" yelled Lyon. "AH HA! Why don't I test its power by summoning something?"
"Like gelatin?" asked Knoll.
"NO, YOU BACKWARDS, EMPTY-MINDED IDIOT!" yelled Lyon. "LIKE GELATIN!"
With that, he clutched the stone tightly in his hand, and his face became consumed with a very strained, painful-looking expression. In front of him, floating in midair, what looked like a pale ball of smoke slowly began to twirl into itself, forming into what appeared to be a very small cube of lime gelatin. However, when the gelatin was fully formed…it did nothing more but fall and splatter on the ground.
"IT WORKED!" screamed Lyon in triumph over his creation of the huge, green splatter on the floor.
"Yay," said Knoll. "Now, about curing cancer-"
"WAIT!" said Lyon. "I wonder how well such power will work in great quantities…"
"Let's cure cancer and find out," said Knoll.
"I SAID SHUT UP!" yelled Lyon. "I've got it! I shall give everyone in the world gelatin! I, LYON, SHALL MAKE GELATIN RAIN FROM THE HEAVENS!"
"Someone's becoming a gods-playing loo-neeeeeee…" sung Knoll.
"SHUT UP! I AM PERFECTLY SANE, THANK YOU!" said Lyon. "Now, let's begin with the gelatin raining…"
And ye, gelatin did rain from the sky (yummy cherry gelatin at that) due to the will of the awesome power of the Magenta Stone. While this is a tremendously good thing for gelatin lovers, little did the world know that it's effects on society in general would be catastrophic…
So now, our story turns to an innocent bus stop
"Ooh…terrible weather…" said Tethys to herself, quickly rushing into the roofed bus stop, shivering partially due to the cold gelatin that was raining from the sky (some of the larger pieces had bits of fruit in them), partially because of her lack of clothes. She sat down quickly on the wooden, backless bench, too busy trying to rub her upper-arms to warm them to notice that Ninian was sitting at the other end of, reading a magazine that said 'BOYZ' on it, and seemed quite fascinated with it's content, considering her nose was barely and inch away from the page she was reading.
There was a minute of silence, as Tethys's eyes wandered all around the booth, as Ninian's eyes stayed firmly in her magazine. However, her eyes happened to fall on the blue haired Chii wannabe, who payed her absolutely no attention at all.
"Interesting magazine, isn't it?" she said.
"NOITHATEITIT'SDISGUSTING!" cried Ninian, slaming it shut and shoving it out of her reach, then putting her hands in her lap quickly, pretending nothing had happened. There was a brief pause.
"Hmm…" said Tethys. "Are you…no, you can't be…"
"Sorry?" asked Ninian.
"No, it's nothing…" said Tethys.
"No, seriously, what?" asked Ninian.
"You're not…a cleric, are you?" asked Tethys.
"Me? Oh…no…" said Ninian. "I'm an entertainer…a dancer."
Silence.
"BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA-" screamed Tethys, suddenly consumed in hysterical laughter, doubled over, her hands gripping her bare stomach, her long, red braid falling in front of her, barely managing to keep herself from breathing.
"What? What's so funny?" Ninian asked.
"I…CAN'T BREATH…CAN'T…YOU A…DANCER…HA HA HA HA-" screamed Tethys, trying even harder to stay upright. However, her efforts failed her completely, and she fell out of the chair, curling up in a ball, completely consumed by mad hyena laughter.
"I am a dancer!" said Ninian, now a little annoyed. "Can't you tell by this ridiculous ribbon-scarf thing floating over my head?"
"NO WAY!" screamed Tethys, consumed by laugher again. "YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE A NUN!"
"What's that supposed to do with anything?" asked Ninian.
"Well…I suppose when you got it, you got it….and when you don't…hee hee…you…don't…" Tethys continued to choke.
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Ninian, now very annoyed.
"Well entertainers usually have…well, they like to show of their graceful bodies, as well as their graceful moves," said Tethys. "And frankly hon, you're dressing like someone who's hiding everything. And well, that's probably a good thing."
"Hey! That's rude!" said Ninian. "You don't need to dress in a midriff and almost see-through pants to be a dancer! I think this dress looks nice on me. Besides, when I dance, I at least try to have a little class."
"More like you wouldn't be able to dance without 'class' because you'd scare everyone away with your massive gut if you wore this outfit," said Tethys.
"MASSIVE GUT?" yelled Ninian. "At least I'm not some back-alley tramp who can't tell the difference between undergarments and day wear!"
"At least I'm not uuuuug-leeeeee," said Tethys.
"At least I'm not scaaaaaaaaa-reeeeeeee," said Ninian.
"Who are you calling scary, bean-pole?" asked Tethys.
"Who are you calling ugly, bimbo?" asked Ninian.
"At least I'm not a pig," said Tethys.
"At least I'm not a sleaze-ball," said Ninian.
"Fatso," said Tethys.
"Witch," said Ninian.
"Shapeless," said Tethys.
"Skank," said Ninian.
"Hasn't-got-a-nice-body," said Tethys.
"Hasn't-got-a-nice-brain," said Ninian.
"Okay, that's it," said Tethys. "I've had enough of this bickering. We aren't going to solve any of our problems by sitting here and bickering. Throwing insults back and forth isn't going to solve our problems."
"Wow…you know, that's a surprisingly mature way to look at it," said Ninian. "Ah…perhaps I misjudged you."
"So let's go straight to catfighting," said Tethys.
"…never mind," said Ninian. "Can't we just sit down and talk with the intention of working out our differences? Or agree to disagree? Or meet each other halfway?"
"Hmm…okay, how about meeting halfway?" said Tethys. "We won't catfight, so lets have a nice, friendly competition instead!"
"…what kind of competition?" asked Ninian suspiciously.
"Glad you asked," said Tethys, pushing a huge, red button on the wall of the bus stop that had a sign pointing to it that said 'The Big Red Button'. Then, with that, a hole appeared in the ceiling, as a plasma TV came down, as well as a hole in the floor, as a platform raised, to reveal a PS2, and as two speakers crept up the sides of the bus stop, a huge voice screamed out of them-
"DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!"
"You're…kidding…" said Ninian, as the DDR mat rose up on the same platform as the PS2.
"Nope!" said Tethys, promptly hopping onto her spot on the mat. "Wassamatter? You scared?"
"Heck no!" said Ninian, huffily getting onto the mat, planting both her feet firmly in the center, as the huge television screen turned on, revealing the opening screen.
"Hope you don't mind hard mode," said Tethys, stepping on the arrow as she scrolled through the options.
"Hope you don't want to die," said Ninian coolly.
"Select music!" said the screen voice.
"Butterfly!" said Tethys.
"Smoke on the Water!" said Ninian.
"No, Butterfly!" said Tethys.
"Smoke on the Water!" said Ninian.
"BUTTERFLY!" yelled Tethys. "I WANT BUTTERFLY! I WANT BUTTERFLY! IWANTITIWANTITIWANTITIWANTITI"-
"Okay! YEESH!" yelled Ninian. "We'll do Butterfly…"
"YAY!" said Tethys, bouncing all across the DDR mat, sending the control on the television going in every which direction from having random arrows on the mat being hopped. "I'm better than you are! I'm better than you are!"
"Yeah, that's great, PICK THE BEEPING SONG!" yelled Ninian.
"Fine fine fine," said Tethys, pushing the buttons.
"Select the characters!" said the announcer.
"Don't choose the blonde haired girl with the-aw, never mind," said Ninian, as Tethys picked her favorite character.
And so the great DDR battle commenced! Both dancers fought with incredible skill and precision! Oh, the feats of dexterity! Both of the dancers battled it on nimble feet, neither of them missing a single step, not even on those wickedly difficult combo moves! Truly this was a battle that rocked the foundation of dancerdom! (Note: The Webster's Dictionary wishes to confirm that no, dancerdom is NOT a word, so don't you idiots even THINK about trying to use it you filthy, grammatically incorrect FREAKS who think your so cool just because SOME website will actually ACCEPT your work and your fellow IDIOTS actually enjoy it you BAND OF TEENAGE NEUROTIC EMO-FATHEADS!) Their scores were virtually even, and it was going to come down to the last few moves to see who would truly be crowned with the title of 'Best Dancer Eva'.
"HA! I'M KICKIN' YOUR BUTT!" said Tethys, nimbly dancing across the mat.
"As if Scary Godmother!" yelled Ninian. "J00 G0NN4 D13 F00!"
"FILTHY L33T SPEAKER!" screamed Tethys.
"FILTHY…PERSON IN GENERAL!" yelled Ninian.
"HA! I STUCK THE COMBO!" said Tethys.
"SO DID I!" said Ninian.
"NO YOU DIDN'T!" yelled Tethys.
"YEAH I DID!" said Ninian.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Tethys.
"NO YOU SHUT UP!" said Ninian.
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU SHUT UP!"
"NO YOU-"
However, the winner of the DDR match was never to be determined, for the entire bus stop was crushed by a huge ball of salespeople that seemed to fall from the sky like a huge meteor, completely shattering the SW33T PS2, the DDR machine, everything. The only reason that the two survived was because they were protected by the magical K+ force field as usual.
However, it really, reaaaaaaaaaally hurt. I made sure of that personally.
Meanwhile…
---ooo---
"Looks like I beat you," said Nils to Innes in the studio, as he had just finished a game of 'Guitar Hero' with him. Nil's score was 100. Innes's scroe was 2.
"No you didn't," said Innes.
"Uh, yeah I did," said Nils, pointing to the screen.
"Two out of three," said Innes.
---ooo---
The rain of gelatin had at last yielded across the continent of Magvel. However, their sinister reign was now replaced with the horror of huge balls of salespeople that now roamed across the continent, squishing all in their path, destroying the illustrious beauty of the countryside, and ultimately…selling things.
Meanwhile, in Grado's Keep, General Duessel, the Obsidian, General Selena, the Fluorspar, and General Glen, the Sunstone, were slowly coming to terms with the idea that, perhaps, something was very wrong.
"Sir Duessel. Sir Glen," said Selena, saluting her fellow officers as she entered the hallway which Duessel and Glen happened to be at that moment.
"Ah, Dame Selena, well met," said Glen, returning her salute. "Anything new to report?"
"Ah…the news is only bad…" said Selena. "You see…I…"
"What is it Selena?" asked Glen.
"I encountered one of the…balls of salesmen…" said Selena.
"And?" said Duessel, his voice filled with both anxiousness and fear.
"I…I bought a set of Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots!" said Selena, holding up the Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots game. "I couldn't help it! They gave me a great bargain!"
"WOOT! AWESOME!" said Glen.
"Lets go play in the Imperial General's Lounge!" said Duessel.
"We can't, remember?" said Selena. "Valter turned it into his own personal tanning bed and massage parlor."
"Oh…right…" said Duessel.
"Fudge," said Glen.
"And I liked the lounge too," said Duessel.
"Well you gotta admit, he needs it, being so hideously ugly and all," said Glen.
"Ain't that the truth," said Selena. "Come to think of it…none of the new generals are nice to look at huh? I mean Riev seriously needs to do something about the massive bags under his eyes and the discolored, yellowish skin, and Valter looks like Romero on cold meds with a perm!"
"Yeah, terrible," said Glen. "Of course, their dishonorable, so what do you expect?"
"What?" asked Selena.
"Their dishonorable, so their naturally ugly," said Duessel. "It's part of life's grand design."
"Huh…wonder why that is?" asked Selena.
"Simple," sad Duessel. "We are nice, honorable men, so the happy gods of honorableness smile on us, and thus, the give us hot bodies and make us look incredibly attractive. That's why it's better to be honorable than to be dishonorable-so you won't be butt ugly."
"Ooooooh," said Selena.
"Hey, wait a minute," said Glen. "If everyone who's dishonorable is ugly, then how come those people in the game next door look hot?"
---ooo---
"I feel pre-teeeeee, oh so pre-teeeee, I feel pretty and witty and gaaaaaaaaaaay!" sung Limstella, skipping around with Ephidel in the Dragon's Gate.
"And I pit-teeeeeee any girl who isn't me to-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" sung Ephidel, also skipping around.
"That's it! No more musicals for you two!" barked Nergal to his morphs.
---ooo---
"You lose again," said Nils, who's score was 100, while Innes's was 3.
"That's it. We're switching controllers," said Innes.
---ooo---
"Okay, first of all, what the heck was that?" asked Duessel. "Anyway, the guys next door are fabricated life forms, so the laws of nature don't apply to them. Please notices that their creator looks like a man who got his face stuck in a blender."
"That makes sense," said Selena. "Hey, Caellach isn't terrible looking. Does that mean he's honorable?"
"Nah, it just means that he works his butt off to make sure he doesn't turn into a shrunken prune of a man," said Glen. "He must have a whole arsenal of beauty products hidden somewhere that stops his face from collapsing into itself. Being honorable, we don't need to do anything like that to make ourselves pretty."
"What are you talking about?" said Duessel. "As if that's your natural hair color!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Glen dangerously.
"Oh yeah, people with dark tan skin and platinum blonde hair are just wandering around everywhere!" said Duessel.
"It's not platinum, it's Golden Mist!" said Glen angrily. "And what are you talking about? At least I don't need to die my hair, unlike SOMEONE I know!"
"Are you implying that I need to dye my hair?" Duessel asked angrily.
"Oh sure, because EVERYONE looks hot with HUGE FREAKY GREY SIDEBURNS!" yelled Glen.
"They looked distinguished!" yelled Duessel. "Besides, if I dyed my hair, I wouldn't look MANLY!"
"Pah, I don't need to do anything, and I still look great," said Selena.
"Besides putting on a load of makeup every day," said Duessel.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" screamed Selena, about to beat him to a pulp.
"WAIT! We can't violently slaughter each other!" said Glen. "If we do, we won't be honorable anymore, and we'll get ugly fast!"
"Not to mention we'll be dead," said Duessel.
"True, true," said Selena. "Then in that case, we have only one course of action."
---ooo---
"Alright you guys, now that my mind has been corrupted by the indisputably evil yet slightly coy, amusing, and adorable powers of the Magenta Stone, I now have your orders to slaughter everyone you happen to-what the?" said Lyon, aimlessly ranting as he arose from his secret laboratory under the keep, finding that the hallway where the generals usually hung out was totally empty, save for a little piece of folded up paper taped to the wall. Absentmindedly, he walked over and snatched it up, revealing it to be a piece of 'Peanuts' stationary that read:
Gone to the Ms. Honorable Beauty Pageant. Won't be back for awhile.
-The Imperial Three
"Crackers," said Lyon. "You take away their lounge, and they go to some pageant to spite you. CALLECH! RIEV! VALTER! I-"
He cut himself off when he saw another piece of paper taped to the wall. He snatched this one up too, and read it.
Gone to the Jehanna Beauty Salon. Won't be back for awhile.
-The Other Three
"THOSE DASTARDS!" screamed Lyon.
---ooo---
"There's just something about having your hair washed by someone else that's really…relaxing…" said Caellach, as he was having his hair shampooed by one of the salon workers.
"Yeah…it makes me feel very honorable…" said Riev, who was getting his toenails painted, as Valter was being beaten senseless by one of the salon girls with a hairdryer for doing something…erm, wrong.
---ooo---
"Okay, I'm seriously going to win this time, I just know it," said Innes, his score now up to a 16.
"Look, you've lost the last seventeen matches," said Nils, his Guitar Hero score still a 100. "I think it's time to hang up the towel."
"NEVER! I SHALL DEFEAT YOU, YOU STUPID BLUE-HAIRED…THING!" yelled Innes. "Okay, now let's do 'I Wanna Get Sedated'."
"INNES!" yelled Eirika from upstairs, as the game started. "WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT THE FINAL BOSS!"
"I'll be up in a minute!" he yelled, just barely managing to hit a combo.
"WE'RE LEAVING NOW INNES!" yelled Eirika.
"I said I'll be up in a minute!" he yelled back at her.
"GET YOUR BUTT UP HERE INNES!" yelled Eirika.
"OH! YOU MADE ME MISS A REALLY LONG NOTE!" screamed Innes angrily. "THANKS A LOT EIRIKA! THANKS A BLOODY LOT!"
"THAT'S IT INNES! WE'RE LEAVING WITHOUT YOU!" yelled Eirika.
"NO YOU AREN'T!" yelled Innes back.
"Have fun losing Innes," said Eirika.
"I WON'T LOSE! I NEVER LOSE!" yelled Innes.
"Sure you don't Innes," said Eirika.
"SHUT UP!"
---ooo---
WARNING! HIGHLY SATIRIZED, HIGHLY SPOILERIZEDNESS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE END OF THE GAME YET AND DON'T WANT TO, CLOSE COVER YOUR EARS AND SCREAM "LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA LA" IN FRONT OF YOU COMPUTERSCREEN UNTIL WE TELL YOU OTHERWISE! DON'T WORRY, PEOPLE WON'T THINK YOU'LL LOOK LIKE A MANIAC, WE WARNED THEM BEFORE HAND…okay, no we didn't, BUT DO AS WE SAY ANYWAY!
"AT LAST!" said Ephraim. "We have made it to the temple in Darkling Woods!"
"Here is where the last battle shall be held," said Eirika. "I have no wish to bring harm to others, but seeing the terror that has been brought upon our countrymen, I have no choice but to-where the heck's Lyon?"
Sure enough, the space at the very end of the map, which was supposed to hold a mega-hard final boss was…completely empty. Everyone in the party looked all around, but they couldn't find him or any trace of something really powerful/evil. It was just a really empty, really old tomb.
"LYON?" yelled Eirika.
"I'm right here!" yelled Lyon, walking out from behind a huge column, dripping wet with a huge shower puff in his hand, wearing nothing but a towel. "Honestly, I thought I'd have enough time between scene changes to take a shower, but nooooooooo…."
"Um…well…" said Ephraim.
"Hang on a second, I just need a lightning fast clothes change," said Lyon.
SEVERAL SECONDS LATER
"RIGHT! NOW I'M READY!" said Lyon, dressed in his way-scary killer mage outfit. "Now then, what part were we on?"
"Eirika just got finished with her bit," said Ephraim.
"No I didn't!" said Eirika.
"Shut up and let the man rant," sad Ephraim.
"FOOLS!" said Lyon. "Now, you shall all die at the hands of my great and terrible power! PR3P4R3 2 B 0WNZ3R3D!"
With that, he grasped his mighty Magenta Stone in his hands, once again straining with great concentration, he prepared another summoning. What he summoned was a monstrous beast indeed, one of the most noble and dangerous in the world…the dragon. Yes, a dragon, with glittering scales, eyes that were great coals of anger and fiery furry, teeth that were made to rip flesh, claws meant to hold its screaming victim down, it spread its huge, leathery wings wide, it's teeth-lined jaws consumed in a massive roar of battle tide.
It was a shame it was only three centimeters tall. And was squished instantly by Ephraim.
"Aw jeez…" said Lyon.
"We have defeated your first challenge, blackheart!" said Ephraim. "We eagerly await your second!"
"Eh…heh…funny you should mention that…" said Lyon. "You see, after the dragon, I really didn't have that much planned.
Silence.
"Ah," said Eirika.
Silence.
"I'm dead now, aren't I?" said Lyon.
---ooo---
"Yeah, thought so," said Lyon, his health bar dropping to zero.
"Lyon…" said Eirika. "I'm…I'm so sorry…"
"No…it's my fault…" said Lyon. "I shouldn't have appealed to the force of a supreme deity of ultimate evil and just stayed in med school like Dad told me to. Honestly…I feel pretty stupid…"
"You should," said Ephraim.
"Shut up!" said Eirika. "You're ruining a dramatic moment!"
"Eirika…I need…to tell you…" said Lyon.
"That you're in love with me?" said Eirika. "No need. L'Archel spilt her guts at our last slumber party."
"…God, I hate that women and her stupid boy toys," said Lyon. "But that's not it."
"What is it then?" asked Eirika.
"I…I…" said Lyon.
"Yes?" said Eirika, as the dramatic tension was mounting.
"I…stole your seventh Birthday cupcake in first grade and blamed it on Tana!" said Lyon. Then he croaked.
"Such…sorrow…" said Ephraim.
"WAIT? THAT WAS YOU?" yelled Eirika. "MAN, YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE DEAD, OR I'D KILL YOU!"
Those who inhibit this Earth…tremble in fear…cower at the fate of your race…you will see nothing but pain…
"Oh…perfect…" said Ephraim.
"It's the Demon King, isn't it?" said Eirika in a deadpan.
"Figures…" said Ephraim.
…tremble in the might…of the demon king…
"Well NOW what?" yelled Ephraim angrily, as the demon king began to tower over all of them, looking very nasty and scary indeed.
"Fear not," said Saleh calmly. "For you see, on my great travels across the land in pursuit of the wisdom of the Great Dragon, I have found an ancient relic of intense power in one of the many ruins that I have searched."
"What is this item?" asked Eirika.
"WALAWALA, THE PLASMA CANNON OF POINTY THINGS!" screamed Saleh in a homicidal kind of voice, pulling out a huge, shoulder mounted plasma cannon, an eye-twitch suddenly appearing in his eyes, as he set loose a massive blast, ripping the Demon King apart molecule by molecule.
You…buttheads…
Silence, as the Demon King's final screeches echoed across the temple.
"Wow….we won…" said Ephraim.
Silence.
"Funny…I thought more people were going to die," he said.
"Me too," said Eirika.
Silence.
"So…now what?" Ephraim asked.
"Cheap Pizza and Mountain Dew?" asked Eirika.
"I'm game!" said Ephraim.
OKAY, YOU CAN STOP NOW!
And so that's how the entire Sacred Stone's gang ended up sitting at the back of a tour bus, singing very loudly and getting high on cheap pizza and Mountain Dew, celebrating their glorious victory.
"Stupid warriors won't shut up…" growled the bus driver darkly.
"I TOLD you they looked distinguished!" said Duessel in the front seat, with a tiara in on his head, a huge bouquet of roses in his arms, and a huge ribbon around his chest that had 'Ms. Honorable' written on it.
"Lucky…" said Selena, as Glen was sobbing hysterically in the seat closest to the window. That's when Garcia walked by to throw away his Mountain Dew bottle.
Silence.
"Well he's not very honorable," said Selena.
"No indeed," said Duessel.
---ooo---
"HA! I DID IT!" cried Innes. "I BEAT YOU! I TOLD YOU I WOULD!"
"By only one point," said Nils.
"I AM VICTORIUS!" screamed Innes.
"On easy mode," said Nils.
"I OWN YOU DAWG!" yelled Innes.
"When I was playing with my feet," said Nils. "And for the love of Elimine Innes, stop doing the Happy Innes Dance! (A/N Just imagine Rikku's stupid victory dance times ten thousand levels of disturbingness)"
---ooo---
"Random Fun Fact:" said Knoll, sitting in the comfy chair with the 'HEADBUTT' book open and balanced on his lap. "The Happy Innes Dance used to be The Happy Canas Dance which was changed to The Happy Erk Dance which was changed to the Happy Artur Dance which was changed to The Happy Cormag Dance which was changed back to The Happy Artur Dance which was Changed to the Happy Lute Dance. Well, that's all the time we have for today, so enjoy yourself, drive home safely, and for God's sake, don't touch the live wires! And remember-"
"I…too…feel very pretty…" said Sonia, giving everyone an evil smile, as she peeked out from behind the chair.