Yuna

A/N: Since that I'm going to be away starting this Sunday, I figured I'd put Yuna's episode up since that I'll be gone for 4 weeks. Following hers I'll have Rikku's online by Saturday.

-Abzan342

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This episode of Character Chats is brought to you by:

'YUNA-TUNA Tuna Fish!'

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Yuna: (Trying to surpress a grin) Eat some all natural 'YUNA-TUNA' Tuna Fish today!

(Yuna eats a bite, pukes off to the side, and grins).

Go 'YUNA-TUNA!'

Please note that 'YUNA-TUNA' may contain: Stray hairs, vodka cow liver, hydrocloric acid, toe nails, giraffe snot, and anything else that made Yuna vomit during the making of this commercial.

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Kupo: Hey, everyone and welcome back to "Character Chats!" If any of you saw the previous episode then you will know who our special guest is today! She went from a spineless, quiet girl in Final Fantasy X to a High Summoner and a real sex icon in Final Fantasy X-2...please welcome Yuna!

(Yuna walks out onto the stage and shakes Kupo's hand. Kupo notices Tidus' engagement ring from the previous Episode)(Yuna sits down).

Kupo: So, Yuna, how have you been?

Yuna: I'm great, thank you.

Kupo: Anyways, let's begin. Here's the agenda: I'll ask you some questions and you'll answer them for me (while I secretly make fun of you...hehehe...). Clear?

Yuna: Yep, ask away.

Kupo: Here's the first question: Is Tidus a sex god or what?

Yuna: Huh?

Kupo: Forget it, I'm just playing with you. Here's the real question: The makers of Final Fantasy X-2 did not exactly explain what you did during the two years of Tidus' absence, except from the short scene 'Eternal Calm' which was only available in Japan. Instead I'll ask you; what were you doing during those two years?

Yuna: Well, I became depressed during that time. You know, rarely coming out of my house, not leaving Besaid at all, and thinking a lot regarding Tidus' whereabouts. Not only that, but tons and tons of suitors kept on coming to my house asking for my hand in marriage. Of course, this only made me more miserable.

Kupo: Uh huh. Question number 2: I imagine it was difficult at the end of FFX when you had to defeat your own aeons. Was it?

Yuna: Definitely. Killing my own aeons was like killing my guardians, except not as painful. It especially hurt me to watch Valefor die; it was my first aeon ever. But don't get me wrong; it was as if my aeons were my own children except real big and furry with sharp claws and everything.

Kupo: That's good to know. Anyways, here's your third question. Would you consider being a summoner to be a difficult job?

Yuna: Of course. I mean, traveling all over Spira may be fun, but the trip can get really annoying especially when you have to go and collect the aeons, dealing with your party members that may piss you off, as well as---

Kupo: Uhhh...Yuna?

Yuna: And even that pisses me off, especially when some blue-haired Maester named Seymour died after four long and hard tries, and also knowing you will die at the end, but luckily I didn't die, and Tidus and I did some nice f---

Kupo: YUNA!

Yuna: (Stops her rambling suddenly) I'm sorry?

Kupo: Nothing, I'm just practicing my yelling. Here's your fourth question. What was your impression when you saw Tidus? I mean, I imagine when you left the Chamber of the Fayth in Besaid he was the first cute guy you noticed, right?

Yuna: (smiles) Well, at first I did not know who he was, but you're right I did think he was exceptionally cute. However, I spoke with him later that day in Besaid and got a good glimpse of his chest. Those long hard days of bullshit praying---

Kupo: Whoa, rewind and freeze! When did you decide to use bad language, 'Ms. Goody-Goody-Two-Shoes-Summoner?'

Yuna: Sorry?

Kupo: Ah, nothing. Moving on, here's your final question. You see, during the scene where ?Tidus fades away I've heard from many people about their thoughts based on the ending. They either felt really bad, they didn't care, they may have shed a tear or two, or they cried the frick out of themselves. Are you surprised by their actions?

Yuna: Of course not. But other than that, those people who didn't really care ought to get a life. Like, seriously! Wasn't the ending of Final Fantasy X the saddest ending ever? Nobody gives a crap about the part when Aeris from Final Fantasy VII died...

(There is a dead silence thruought the room...)

Kupo: (Raises eyebrows) Eheheh, I guess that's your opinion. Anyways, I'm adding a 6th question just for the heck of it. If you and your party in FFX did receive the final aeon from Yunalesca, besides Tidus who would you have picked?

Yuna: Er...I really do not know...

Kupo: Come on, the audience won't tell, right?

Yuna: (Stands up) Fine, here's my answer. NONE OF THEM, 'CAUSE THEY ALL SUCK ASS!

(Audience gasps)

Kupo: (Sweatdrop) Really? But why?

Yuna: Where to begin...Well, first of all, Wakka is a big ass carrot head who has gravity-defying hair and a fake Jamacian accent that pisses me off---say, where's Jamaica? Never mind, 'cause then there's Lulu, who was most likely born in 'whores-ville' and wears that really ugly dress all the time! And I don't even want to know where Auron came from! He's just an old farty windbag who goes on and on and on! Like the Energizer Bunny!

Kupo: (signals to the security guards to take Yuna away)

Yuna: (grabbed by guards) Kimahri is just a big blue cat thingy who slept with Rikku earlier---AND RIKKU IS SUCH A FRICKIN' SLUT AROUND ME AND I CAUGHT HER AND GIPPAL F---AHHHH!

(Yuna is carried off the set screaming in a straight jacket).

Kupo: Well, that was a most interesting episode! Join us next time on "Character Chats!" Next episode: Yuna claims that she had 'slept with Kimahri, the big blue cat thingy,' but other than that she is Yuna's cousin and daughter of the leader of the Al Bhed race in Spira. Rikku, former guardian of Yuna and Gullwing partner from Final Fantasy X and X-2 is here on the show later on. And remember...

KEEP CHATTING!

A/N: Wow, when I first wrote this it was a real handful, but at least making fun of Yuna and not keeping her in character was entertaining. I mean, if I had Kupo interview Yuna when she was all normal and stuff the episode wouldn't be as interesting. Rikku's episode, for example, will be much more in character than Yuna's. And remember, please review!

-Abzan342