Rediscovery

By Ellie

Disclaimer: I'm not crazy. I know I don't own House. If I did, I'd be having my wicked way with him right now instead of writing this disclaimer.

A/N1: Wow – ask and you shall receive. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. They really made my weekend and certainly spurred my desire to get this next chapter up for you. (Two days ahead of schedule!)

Chapter 6

House sat on his couch, deep in thought, as he played with his yo-yo. Why did all of this crap have to happen at once? He told Stacy to leave. It hurt, but, despite what Wilson thought, he knew that it had been the right decision for them both. He had been coming to terms with it and trying to move on. Then Cuddy arrives at his doorstep bringing an emotional storm of a completely different kind with her. The cynical part of him told him that he should have stuck to his guns and minimized all contact with her just like he had decided to do after he had woken up from his coma and discovered what she and Stacy had done to him.

"Greg? Can you hear me?" he heard a voice floating above him, drawing him out of the darkness. It was a warm familiar voice. "Honey, please wake up," he heard her say. Stacy. It was Stacy's voice calling to him. He felt very heavy as he tried to go to where her voice was. He started noticing other things. His mouth was very dry. He could hear a heart monitor beeping in the background. His leg. His leg was hurting. He drew all of his focus together and managed to open his eyes briefly.

"Greg?" he heard Stacy say hopefully. He swallowed to get the cottony feel out of his mouth.

"Stacy…" he managed to whisper as he forced his eyes open again. He saw that she was holding his hand and he gave it a squeeze. "My leg?" he asked.

She paused briefly before she answered. "Your leg's still there."

Despite his condition, he heard the pause and turned his gaze to his leg. It was still there, but something wasn't right. It didn't feel right.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Greg, let me go find Lisa. She'll explain it to you better than I can."

He held onto her hand. "What happened?" he repeated. He saw a look of guilt flash across her face and he let go of her hand and started pulling on his blanket so that he could see his leg. He could hear the heart monitor beeping faster in the background.

"Greg, don't," Stacy said as she tried to stop him. He pushed her hand away again and finally worked the blanket back.

His heart lurched as he stared at his leg. He turned back to Stacy and grabbed her arm, "What did you do?" he yelled as loud as his dry throat would let him.

"Greg, you need to calm down," she told him.

"What did you do?" he yelled again.

It seemed as if the room burst with energy. Nurses came in as machines starting beeping. House saw them inject something into his IV bag and he managed to rip the line from his arm. He fought weakly as the nurses held onto his arms to stop him from hurting himself. He felt a prick on his hip, and his limbs soon become heavy again. He fought vainly against the sedative.

"What…" he whispered as he lost the battle.

He didn't know how long he had been back in the darkness when he heard another voice calling to him to the surface. "House. Come on, it's time to wake-up," he heard this voice say. "I know you wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to sexually harass the nurses during your sponge bath." It was Cuddy. He tried to move his arms, but something was holding them down. He fought to open his eyes and stared at his hands. They were in restraints. He stared at them blankly for a moment before remembering what had happened the last time he was awake. He looked over at Cuddy.

"What happened with my leg?" he asked in a gravelly voice. Cuddy poured a glass of water from the pitcher next to the bed and offered him a sip to moisten his mouth. "What happened?" he asked again.

Cuddy took a deep breath to brace herself for the coming storm. "We went in and removed the dead muscle tissue. Unfortunately, there was a great deal of it. You're going to need extensive physical therapy to learn to walk again. You're probably going to need to use a … a cane for the rest of your life," she said, her voice quivering.

House felt like he was falling into a gaping hole. "You knew this isn't what I wanted," he gasped. "You both knew that. How could you do this to me? If my condition worsened, why didn't you wake me up to see if this was what I wanted?"

Cuddy looked away but not before he could read the guilt in her expression. He suddenly understood. "But maybe that was the point. You knew that I'd never agree to this and so the both of you waited until I was out to butcher me," he hissed at her.

"We saved your miserable life, you idiot," Cuddy hissed back at him as she fought back tears.

"Tell me, how long after I was out did she sign the papers?"

"House …"

"How long!" he saw Cuddy look down again and he had his answer. He shook his head and laughed bitterly. "You deserve an Oscar for your performance. I didn't have a clue as to what the two of you were planning when I went under. I'd applaud but I don't have the use of my hands at the moment." He began to get a bit hysterical. "You have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool old Greggie-Boy, but you two sure did it. God! She even apologized before I went under and I still didn't get it. How stupid am I?"

"Greg … this was not an easy decision …" Cuddy began but House interrupted her.

"Talk is cheap, sweetheart," he said dismissively. "Where's your partner in crime?"

"She went down to the cafeteria to grab a bite to eat. I promised her I wouldn't leave you alone," she told him quietly.

His emotional outburst seemed to have drained him of his energy, but he fought against the exhaustion. "I don't want you here. I'm done with you," he whispered. "When Benedictess Arnold comes back, send her in." Cuddy nodded. "Get these damn restraints off. I'm not going to do anything stupid," he told her as he closed his eyes and sleep claimed him once more.

He spent the next few days coming in and out of consciousness. Stacy was there most of the time whispering words of comfort, even as he spewed his bitterness out at her. She just kept on telling him that she loved him and that she couldn't just watch him die if she had the power to help him. He understood her point, but he didn't want to hear it. He couldn't hear it. House was in mourning for his previous life -- a life that had been murdered by his lover and one of his best friends.

He didn't see Cuddy at all during this time. Stacy told him that she was stopping by, but he was always asleep when she came. He wondered if that was by accident or design. Cuddy had never struck him as a coward and he couldn't deny that he had been sleeping a great deal, but then he had never thought her capable of plotting to cripple him either.

The delay in seeing her again was driving him crazy. He was not a patient man at the best of times, and this was most definitely not the best of times. He didn't know what was going to happen with Stacy, but he knew exactly what he planned on doing about his relationship with Dr. Lisa Cuddy M.D.

House was almost happy when he finally saw Cuddy enter his hospital room. Stacy looked up, saw her at the doorway and got up to leave, but House grabbed her arm.

"There's no reason for you to leave. Is there, Dr. Cuddy?" he asked tonelessly.

"Of course not," she said in a low voice as she walked to the foot of his bed to examine his chart. Their eyes locked and he could see her shudder slightly at what she saw in his expression.

"I've been talking to my other doctors, and they say that I may not be able to go back to work for several months. Will that be satisfactory, Dr. Cuddy?" he asked in a cold professional tone of voice.

"Of course," she said.

"Even when I do come back, I may not be able to do things like clinic duty right away. That won't put you out too much will it?" he asked, allowing a hint of nastiness to seep through.

"You can start clinic up again whenever you feel able to," she told him as they stared steadily at one another. He wanted her to know that this was all that was left of their relationship. She was his boss, he was her employee, and that was it.

She gave him a sad smile and nodded slightly. House realized that Cuddy knew exactly what he was doing and that she wasn't the least bit surprised by it.

"Very good, Dr. House. We'll monitor your recovery closely and schedule a return to work date when you're ready," she said in a tone that matched his for professionalism as she put the chart down and walked out of the room. He watched her leave with a twinge of regret that she hadn't been more visibly upset, but then her defenses were nearly as good as his own.

Stacy watched the exchange in silence, not fully understanding that she was witnessing the end of a friendship.

That conversation proved to be the basis of his relationship with Cuddy for the next several years -- even long after his anger had cooled and he could understand her position more clearly. It was just easier to keep on treating her with icy disdain and to steer clear of her if he could help it.

During those years he had made a point to avoid arguing with her. If she came to him angry at something he had done, he would listen to her complain, make some witty remark and orchestrate a speedy exit. Arguing reminded him too much of their friendship. House had decided to ignore her as much as it was possible for someone to ignore his or her boss.

And his plan had worked until she pulled his authorization while he was entrenched in that worm case. House had lost his temper and went looking for her, spoiling for a good fight, but she'd been ready for him. He quickly pulled himself together, but not before noticing the gleam of enjoyment in her eyes at her victory about him returning to the clinic. House just couldn't let her win. He began to do everything in his power to drive her crazy. Before he knew it, they were fighting once again on a regular basis.

House justified it to himself by saying it was just about work. It was about him 'sticking it to the man' as represented by Cuddy. And if he enjoyed their arguments a little too much, then it was just an objective appreciation of Cuddy's verbal ability. And those times where she looked at him and seemed to know exactly what was going on in his head – well those times could be easily ignored. He even applauded himself for having the best of both worlds – allowing himself to enjoy their battles without the messiness of friendship. God, he was full of bullshit. It had taken Cuddy less than a day outside of the workplace for her to completely screw with his tried and true method of dealing with her.

His relationship with Cuddy was very different than his relationship with Stacy, but the decision before him was fundamentally the same. Did he want to risk changing the status quo enough for him to try and resurrect their friendship? Did he trust her enough not to hurt him like that again? The answer to both questions with Stacy had been 'no'. He loved Stacy, but when push came to shove he couldn't be anything but himself, and he didn't trust her not to leave again if he didn't change.

Cuddy, on the other hand, had stuck by him – even when he really didn't deserve it. She had fought and triumphed against Vogler to keep him at the hospital. She defended him to the board on a regular basis. And although House was sure that Cuddy would get up and dance a jig if he became less … abrasive with people, she had never seriously demanded that he alter his bedside manner. Hell, she'd put $50,000 aside every year for lawyers just because she knew who he was and didn't expect him to change.

He just wasn't sure if he could offer her anything. He was, admittedly, a very selfish man. He didn't know if he had it in himself to be anything more than a sparring buddy to her. Would she demand more of him than he was capable of giving? His life wasn't perfect, by any means, but it worked. He didn't want to break it anymore.

He thought back to their previous friendship and remembered how low maintenance it had actually been. They had a lot of fun together. They'd argued and bickered over everything under the sun. But there had also been a closeness that was hard to put into words. An understanding between two people who didn't often find real understanding from others. House and Cuddy hadn't often talked about serious things, but they each knew that the other would listen if something serious ever came up.

He didn't really think that he had any alternative at this point. Cuddy had gotten back inside, and the more he thought about it the more he realized that he didn't want to throw her back out. House stopped playing with the yo-yo and chuckled wryly to himself at this realization. He guessed that he had made his decision.

House heard the shower turn off in the guest bathroom. He rubbed his stubble as he contemplated the woman behind that door. Of course all of this soul searching was a complete waste of time if Cuddy decided that she didn't want to deal with anymore of his crap than she already did.

House thought about the type of olive branch that he needed to extend to Cuddy for this to have the best chance of succeeding. Although he could foresee a time where they would have to have a serious conversation about things, he didn't want to have that conversation quite yet. He wanted to start out by doing something fun. She didn't often allow herself to have fun, and that had been one thing that he had always been good at helping her with. Unfortunately, they were stuck in his home during a blizzard so that didn't leave him a lot of options.

He scanned his living room, waiting for inspiration to strike. House's gaze passed over his more 'acceptable' DVD collection and fell on a particular title. An expression of delighted anticipation crossed his face. "Voila!" he said to himself triumphantly. He grabbed his cane and headed for the kitchen once again. They were going to need some popcorn.

tbc

A/N2: You know the drill. Please review.