Rediscovery

By Ellie J

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue. I don't have that much money anyways.

Chapter 16

Cuddy wasn't quite as angry when she awoke the next morning as she'd been after leaving House's place, but she was still angry enough to follow through on her decision to visit Stacy. She smirked at the shocked noise her assistant had made over the phone when she had called to say that she wouldn't be in for the day.

She had stopped for breakfast at a local coffee place before heading out to Short Hills. It had taken a couple of hours to get there. She found herself circling Stacy's neighborhood as she tried to figure out what she exactly wanted to say. Cuddy was beginning to wonder if she was doing the right thing by coming to talk to Stacy. House certainly wouldn't appreciate her coming to 'defend' him. (Although she could easily imagine him making some sort of bikini mud wrestling comment).

But this wasn't just about Stacy hurting House – although that was definitely part of it. Stacy was making assumptions about what she expected from a relationship and projecting those assumptions onto House. That was something she could not tolerate. Cuddy exhaled sharply as she reaffirmed her decision to talk to Stacy. Of course she still had no idea what she was going to say to her when she saw her. Hell, she didn't even know if she was home. Cuddy decided to just bite the bullet and go to Stacy's house and see what happened. House, Cuddy thought to herself, was starting to rub off on her.

She pulled up to large two-story house and saw Stacy's car in the driveway. Cuddy made her way to the front door and rang the doorbell as she said a quick prayer that Mark wasn't home. A few moments later the door opened.

Stacy couldn't hide her shocked expression at seeing Cuddy at her door. They quietly stared at one another for a moment before Stacy opened up the door all of the way and let her in.

"Is Mark here?" Cuddy asked as Stacy closed the door.

"No, he's got physical therapy this morning."

"Good. He shouldn't have to hear this."

Stacy sighed and gestured for Cuddy to follow her into the kitchen. "I assume that this is about Greg."

"Yes," Cuddy said evenly. "You need to stay away from him."

Stacy chuckled snidely. "Are you afraid of some competition now that you've finally bagged Greg after all of these years?"

Cuddy tightened her lips as she ignored the jibe. "I'm not here to fight over him with you. I'm here to tell you that you need to stop hurting him and stop making him doubt himself." Cuddy's voice rose as she continued. "You can't keep on doing this to him, Stacy. You made your choice when you left him. You have got to allow him to move on with his life so that he can find some measure of peace."

Stacy was silent, but Cuddy could see that she was angry at her words. Cuddy could feel her own anger rising again. What right did Stacy have to be angry? "By the way," Cuddy told her, "no one is bagging anyone else at this time."

"But Greg told me –"

"We're taking things slowly. We're both aware of the difficulties of a relationship between us, and we don't want to screw things up by jumping into something too quickly."

Stacy shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Cuddy allowed herself a moment to enjoy Stacy's discomfort before going on.

"I'm not only here because of Greg. I'm here because of what you said about me. You have absolutely no right to tell House what you think I want or need from a relationship. You don't know me that well," she said heatedly.

Stacy bristled under Cuddy's glare. "I know you well enough. I know that you've worked very hard to get where you're at in your career, Lisa. I also know that Greg consorting with hospital bigwigs is a disaster waiting to happen. One or both of you are going to lose your jobs over this."

"No we aren't. It will be complicated, but not impossible."

"Yeah, I'm sure that the Board will see it that way," Stacy said sarcastically.

"I am damn good at my job," Cuddy told her in a low voice. "And House is the best at his job. As long as neither one of those things change, then the Board will have no reason to fire either one of us, and neither one of those things are going to change anytime soon."

"Come see me in six months when he's interrupted a meeting with some important donor to ask you about the rash on your private parts that he noticed that morning."

Cuddy looked at Stacy disbelievingly and began to laugh. "He did that three years ago, and the hospital is still running and both of us still have our jobs." She paused to examine the other woman's expression. "Stacy, you make it seem like I don't know what I'm getting into by starting something with House. I've known him longer than you have. I know what he's like. It doesn't scare or bother me. I know he's not going to stop being an ass because we're together. In fact, I'm pretty sure I would hate it if he did."

Stacy looked away. "I would hate it if he stopped being an ass too," she said as she impatiently wiped away the tears that had begun to fall. "I love him, and I'm just supposed to let him go without saying anything?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," Cuddy replied just as softly, "because I really think he'll be happier with me."

Stacy met Cuddy's gaze. "You're so sure about that?" she asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

"Yes. Stacy, I'm not saying that you and House didn't love each other, but sometimes that's not enough to tie two people together. You know House pretty well – better than most -- but you really don't 'get' him when it comes to the big things."

"And you 'get' everything about him, I suppose?" she asked angrily.

Cuddy chuckled wryly. "I don't even think House 'gets' himself completely. But … I do think that I understand him better than you do."

Stacy looked at Cuddy speculatively. "Tell me, what would you do if Greg came up and told you that he would be happier with me after all?"

Cuddy forced herself to ignore the jab of pain that Stacy caused with her suggestion and thought carefully about her answer. After a few moments she looked up and said, "If I thought that he would be happier with you -- and he would have to really convince me of that -- then I hope that I would let him go."

"You would?"

Cuddy shook her head. "He's been so miserable for so long and I care enough about him that I want him to be able to grab onto any happiness that he can find. I'm not saying that it wouldn't hurt like hell, but I want to see him happy."

Stacy looked away from Cuddy and gazed out the back window of the kitchen. "That's not the relationship that Greg and I had. Not really. We spent most of our time together trying to verbally outdo the other with fabulous sex thrown into the mix. Don't get me wrong. There were moments of tenderness, but that's not what our relationship was based on."

Stacy stopped as she realized that she was sharing more than she wanted to. She summoned all of her control and forced herself to look at Cuddy.

"Are you finished?" Stacy asked. "Don't worry. I promise to leave Greg alone from now on," she said matter-of-factly.

Cuddy could see that Stacy was in pain, but didn't want to break down in front of her. She picked up her purse and headed for the front door. Stacy followed. Cuddy turned before she left.

"I know that what's going on between you and Mark is none of my business."

"That's right, it's not," Stacy said tightly.

"But I'm going to say something anyways. If you truly don't want to be with Mark anymore, then leave him. You're not doing him any favors by staying and keeping him in some kind of limbo. But if there is any part of you that wants to work things out, then you owe it to yourself to try. I know that you love Mark. I know that things are rough right now, but he does love you, and he does want to work things out with you. He just doesn't know how."

"So now you know my husband better than I do?" she asked sarcastically.

"Not me. That's House's opinion, and he would be the first to tell you that he's almost always right." Cuddy turned around and left before Stacy could respond.

Cuddy smiled as she got into her car. She felt good. In some odd way, coming here and talking to Stacy had alleviated Cuddy's own remaining doubts about House's feelings for them both. She felt confident that if House could get over his abandonment issues, that they really could make a go of it. She sighed to herself. If he got over his abandonment issues.

She looked at the clock in her car. It wasn't late, and there was plenty of time to go to work if she really wanted to. But, she admitted to herself, she didn't want to go in. It was a beautiful early spring day and her garden needed to be prepared for planting. She loved gardening and didn't often get a chance to do it herself. She decided to stop worrying about House, at least for now, and enjoy the good weather.

House glanced towards Cuddy's office as he entered the hospital. It was darkened. She was probably at one of the million meetings that she seemed to have each day. He still hadn't come to any solid conclusions about what to do with their relationship, but he had to admit to himself that he felt a little better after talking to her. It had been a relief that she hadn't gotten all emotional, and he was glad that she knew him well enough to give him the space he needed to figure things out.

He entered the elevator and pushed the button for his floor. An arm got between the closing doors and they opened back up again. House silently groaned to see Wilson standing there with a smug expression on his face. House had been diligently avoiding him for the past few days. He needed time to think and he didn't want to deal with Wilson's invariable 'I told you sos!' or his pop psychology shtick.

"You're late," Wilson said as he entered the elevator.

"You're wearing an ugly tie," House replied as he gestured the blue monstrosity that Wilson was wearing.

"Actually, I'm surprised to see you here at all. I assumed when Cuddy called in to say that she wasn't coming in that she had finally succumbed to your lecherous advances and you guys were having hot sweaty sex all over your house."

House scowled at Wilson. "What do you mean Cuddy's not here today?"

Wilson raised an eyebrow, surprised that House didn't already know this bit of information. "It's true. The woman who worked a half-day with a 101 degree fever called in and said that she wouldn't be in."

"Hmmm… she must have had a horrible bikini waxing accident," House said sarcastically, even as he digested this information. Where could Cuddy be? Wilson watched him carefully.

"You two had a fight," Wilson accused.

"We didn't have a fight," House responded, annoyed.

"It all makes sense now. You've been avoiding me for the past few days and you've been cranky with your staff."

"Cranky?" House asked in an offended voice. "I'm not a three year old in need of a nap." Wilson snorted. "And I haven't been 'cranky' with my staff."

"Oh please," Wilson said disbelievingly. "Foreman is plotting your demise as we speak. Cameron is about ready to stage an intervention on your behalf, and Chase pees his pants every time you glance in his direction."

"Chase would pee his pants if a Girl Scout looked at him cross-eyed."

The elevator doors opened and they stopped talking. House rolled his eyes as he realized that Wilson was following him to his office. He opened the door and closed it right in Wilson's face. Wilson scowled as he entered the office.

"Real mature."

House stuck out his tongue.

"Well if you didn't fight, then what happened?"

House groaned. At times like these he wondered why he was friends with Wilson. "You know, guys really aren't supposed to ask each other these kinds of questions," he said, avoiding the question.

"I can't believe you've already screwed this up."

"I haven't screwed anything up. It's none of your business."

Wilson studied House for a moment before replying. "You're scared. The emotional risks of being in a relationship with Cuddy finally hit you, and now you're trying to go back before you make some sort of irreparable mistake."

"I'm so glad that you're here to tell me how I feel," House said as he unsuccessfully tried to control his temper.

"You need to find Cuddy and fix whatever happened between you."

"Wow. You really need to make up your mind about who I should be with. First you don't want me with Stacy and then you want me with Stacy. Then you don't want me with Cuddy and now you're pushing me at her. I think you're the one with the commitment issues. Oh wait. How many times have you been divorced?"

"We aren't talking about me. We're talking about your commitment issues and fear of intimacy. You can't shut Cuddy out as easily as you can other people. She knows you pretty well and she's just as stubborn as you are."

"Maybe we're too much alike to be in a relationship. Maybe I decided that I didn't want to deal with her bossiness all of the time," House said, desperately wanting this conversation to end.

"Are you telling me that you wouldn't have any regrets if you and Cuddy didn't get together?"

House looked away for a moment and then back at Wilson. "What's one more regret?" he asked with a humorless smile. "If you'll excuse me, since Mistress Lisa isn't in to supervise me today, I have some major loafing time to catch up on." House picked up his PSP and iPod and left the office. Wilson did not follow. He didn't buy for one moment that House would be okay if he and Cuddy didn't work things out, but he needed to find some way to get House to admit that to himself.

He sat down at House's desk to think. An evil smile appeared on his face as a plan formed in his mind. It was sneaky, underhanded and even a little cruel, but it would definitely force House to come to terms with his feelings. The only thing he needed now was a co-conspirator.

TBC

A/N1: I had some reviews from people who thought that House was talking about his emotions too much, and I just wanted to defend myself a little. Cuddy is one of the few people that House will let see him be vulnerable --as in 'Skin Deep'. Plus, I believe that House showed that he was willing to talk about emotions when he was alone with Stacy. Taking those things together I thought that House might open up a bit more to Cuddy than he would to other people. And since 99 percent of House's interactions in this fic are with Cuddy he comes off as being a little OOC. And I admit that. I tried to show the difference a bit in this chapter.

A/N2: I also hope that no one was too disappointed in Cuddy and Stacy's confrontation. As amusing as it is to think about, I just don't think Cuddy would really go and kick Stacy's ass.

Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! They definitely spurred me to write. I couldn't believe how many I got for the last chapter.