Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are the prized possessions of J.K. Rowling. I would also like to note that the personalities of the Marauders have been carelessly stolen from The Shoebox Project. I can't help myself.
Note: Edits to first chapter – There are only FOUR boys/girls in each year for each house. Not five. Sorry. Also, I have decided that N.E.W.T's are not occuring at this time of the year – only mid-year exams. I figured that N.E.W.T's are probably taken in one day, not over the course of a week or two. You get the idea.
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Sirius wakes up at eight o'clock, though not quite as "sharp" as Remus, who wakes up at precisely 7:55 each morning so as to get to the bathroom before all of the other Gryffindor boys. Remus says, "It's nice to avoid the morning rush, Sirius," but really, he's just a bit too shy to pee in front of everyone when they are "all watching him."
Sirius takes a shower in exactly seven minutes and forty-five seconds, though not quite as "efficient" as James, who can pee and brush his teeth at the same time. "It is an art," says James. "Only the truly talented can master the hand movements involved in such a feat." Sirius has never seen him mess up, not in all of their six years at Hogwarts. What a vulgar situation it would be if he weren't as coordinated.
Sirius eats a bowl of porridge, two sausages, a piece of toast, a spoonful of eggs, and a glass of pumpkin juice by 8:36, though not as "healthily" as Peter, who eats a bowl of porridge, four sausages, three pieces of toast, five slices of bacon, another piece of toast, at least half a plate of eggs, and a glass of pumpkin juice by 8:35. "Mother says breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Peter exclaims. Peter's mother also weighs about as much as a mountain troll, or maybe the giant squid.
Sirius gets to his first class, Transfiguration, by 8:56. Severus Snape gets to his first class, Transfiguration, by 8:59, because Severus Snape takes a different route than Sirius and the other Marauders. Taking the dark, winding, back corridors unknown to most students at Hogwarts, Snape uses those three extra minutes for a good reason. He could walk to McGonagall's class with the rest of the Slytherin sixth-years, but he doesn't – for even they taunt him sometimes. Sirius reasons, "Who wouldn't tease that disgusting, greasy, little son of a bitch?" This always receives a chuckle from James. "What, with his huge nose, he must take the back halls because the rest of the Slytherins can't fit through when they walk with him!"
This is a usual morning discussion on the way to class, and Remus wonders why. Why is it that Sirius can't just ignore the fact that Snape doesn't fit in like he does? It's as if the first thing that pops into Sirius's head is 'Snape isn't here. Must be taking those back halls again.' Like a broken record that he doesn't want to stop playing. But every morning, Sirius gets the old pat on the back from Peter and James. The old, "I KNOW! Just look at the way he carries his Potions books! Like his little diaries, shoving them into his bosom like that." – "He doesn't want us to see the inside cover: 'Severus Malfoy…Mrs. Lucius Malfoy.'" – "With little hearts around them!"
But in reality, Severus Snape's nose isn't really that big. In fact, Frank Longbottom has a much bigger nose than he does, but Sirius calls it "stately". Severus Snape isn't very greasy, either. James is greasy – he skips showers after quidditch sometimes. Kingsley Shacklebolt's head is greasy, or shiny, or gleaming. But Severus Snape is not greasy. And Severus Snape does not have "Mrs. Lucius Malfoy" written on the inside of his Potions books. He has a different name inside, and he does guard that page like a mad hyena. He does clutch it like a little girl into his imaginary bosom. Because he has written a name all over that page, and he has done erasing spells and written it all over again, on every inch of the paper. But there are no little hearts around them, except maybe one. Or three.
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Breakfast in the great hall has to be the best thing to wake up to some days. The hall is full of dark, wooden tables with clawed legs that make them look like enormous monsters hovering over hundreds of exquisitely carved chairs. Huge platters, bowls, and pitchers full of every imaginable, edible thing line each row of tables as if there were a grand feast every morning; fit for a king of a country far more exotic than damp, grey England. Full of students, the hall radiates with laughter and drowsy chatting.
Sirius, Remus, and Peter sit at the Gryffindor table near the center of the hall. They are all rather dead looking, as mid-year exams are beginning today. Sirius throws an arm around Remus, comforting him during one of his pre-exam mental breakdowns.
"Sirius, you don't understand," Remus moans into his sleeve.
"Oh yes, I do…you are going to get the highest score in the school in every subject – except Potions…you really are dreadful at Potions, Moony – and you're going to try to hide the fact that you'll cry yourself tonight just thinking about it."
Remus lifts his head up to shoot his friend a look, but Sirius just grins and pulls him closer.
"Honestly, mate, you're a genius. Let it go. If you fail them all, you can always get a job as…as the trolley lady on the Hogwarts Express," Sirius says hopefully, putting on his sympathy face. James comes in slightly late, citing "thestral business" as he walks up behind the three boys, receiving some kind of odd, trying-to-be-secretive look from Sirius. James looks to the left, where he usually sits, and gawks at the immense, impossibly muscular figure of Kingsley Shacklebolt, which has somehow fit into his spot between Sirius and Lily Evans, Goddess of the Universe. He shrinks about an inch and does a brief walk of shame all the way around the row of tables. He perches next to Peter, who stuffs his face while flipping through an arithmancy textbook on his lap. James and Sirius lean across the table towards each other, glancing mysteriously from side to side and cupping their hands around their mouths.
"Has the thestral landed," Sirius whispers.
"Well, not quite…yet."
"What do you mean? We only have a few hours left!"
James bites his lip worryingly.
"Well, I can probably…yes! Yes, I know exactly what to do."
"What? Go to Madame Pomfrey's, tell her you've come down with spattergroit, wait till she leaves, make a decoy of yourself, sneak out the infirmary window, scale the wall gallantly, and run to the – ?"
"No."
"Well?"
"I'm not telling you, but…the thestral has landed. Sort of."
"Good enough for me."
They nodded and leaned back, shaking hands in a very businesslike fashion.
Marauder business.
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On the way to Transfiguration, Remus walks behind James and Sirius, observing their animated hand gestures and silent, mouthed arguments. Their covert operation du jour is most likely about to go down this afternoon, whatever it is. When the four boys arrive at the doorway, Severus Snape slithers out of some catacomb in the corner of the hall. He and Sirius share one of their precious moments where they stare each other down, thinking of their next insult like clockwork.
"Black."
"Snape."
Remus glances at his friend, who is turning slightly red at the neck and ears so only he can see. Sirius bites his tongue and looks down, then, to the surprise of James, motions for Snape to go through the door first. Snape gives him a quick, puzzled look and walks slowly into the classroom. No tricks. No stepping on the back of his robes. No charming his hair into pigtails while he's not looking. Just pure, disturbing, courtesy. Remus sees these five seconds in slow motion, like in some bad kung-fu movie, and he doesn't say a word.
Sirius steps throught he doorway, followed by his friends. He does not dare to look at them. They will probably know. Remus is probably a legilimens, and he can probably see his dream from last night, and he can probably also sees that Sirius knows he's a legilimens and he'll have to kill him for no reason. Oh, God. And his face is red, isn't it? He sits at his desk, which is sadly in the front row (with James) due to "behavioral difficulties." Snape walks up the aisle of steps on the opposite side of the classroom and sits in the back corner next to Parkinson and Zabini.
The triad of riculously good-looking Slytherins includes the latter two, the other member being Sir Lucius Malfoy, Emperor of Hogwarts. Paul Parkinson is a compact God - pale with bright blue eyes and short, black hair. Augustus Zabini is tan and muscular with dark features and an odd, permanently cocked eyebrow. Severus Snape is, well…you know. His eyes are cold and dark, and his skin is white porcelain. He has hair like black silk…he runs a hand through it, and Sirius stares. Snape laughs at something Zabini says, and he suddenly catches Sirius's eye. Sirius doesn't look away or grimace, and neither does Snape. Sirius feels his face getting red again, and he looks down, his heart beating quite a bit faster.
That dream from last night did something. Part of Sirius knows how strange and contradictory it would be of him – to himself – to call Snape "Snivellus" or "Greasy Git" when he just wanked off to him less than ten hours ago. The other part just says, "maybe I really am an asshole."
"Sirius? Sirius Black," McGonagall shouts, visibly flustered. "Please pay attention, testing is about to commence!"
Sirius sits up straight, flashing a charming smile at the teacher. She rolls her eyes and scans the class.
"Each of you will come with me to the testing room," she points behind her, "in alphabetical order."
Zabini smiles gratefully.
"Well, Black," McGonagall waits.
Sirius skips down the steps and follows McGonagall to the back room, turning his head to find his friends' faces. They all smile, and Sirius hears James hollar, "YEAH SIRIUS!" as the door clicks shut behind them.
The classroom is silent until Sirius emerges about two minutes later with the professor trailing behind him, her hand clutching his shoulder furiously and gently shoving him out. Sirius laughs as McGonagall slams the door shut, and he walks back to his seat. He tilts his chair back to look down the row where James sits, looking expectantly inquisitive.
"I turned the coat rack into a pile of seaweed," Sirius whispers.
"What?"
"It was supposed to be a Christmas tree. It smells like fish in there now."
An hour later, the students rush out of the classroom, discussing their tests. Apparently, McGonagall had run out of good ideas by the time Augustus Zabini was called in, and she made him transfigure a pumpkin into a carriage with two white horses.
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On his way to Charms, Sirius walks past Severus Snape. He doesn't know where Snape is going, but he wants to. He wants to know how he gets his hair so perfect. He wants to know how his test went. Yes, that one's okay, he thinks. Right. He knows how everyone else's test went, even Parkinson's, but not Snape's. Why not just ask him? Remus and Peter are in the library, returning books from last night's studying orgy. James is outside doing God knows what. Probably leaping behind rocks and hiding in the tall grass, saying to himself, "Potter…James Potter," with his fingers pointed together like a pistol.
Marauder business.
They're all gone. He's there alone. So just go, just say it. Snape probably won't kill him. Sirius braces himself and spins around to face the other way as he sputters,
"Sohowdidyourtestgo."
But his tense shoulders drop when he realizes that Snape is no longer there. He looks around to see where the boy went, and notices the familiar dark figure heading to the dungeon downstairs.
"So he has Potions with Ravenclaw on Mondays," Sirius says to himself. He is interrupted by the slamming of one of the doors down the right corridor, which leads outside to Care of Magical Creatures. He swings around to see who is there, and James comes running in, laughing like a madman.
"Oh, Sirius! Glad you waited for me," he pants as he staggers up to his friend.
"Good news, mate."
"The thestral has landed," Sirius whispers excitedly.
James just smiles, and Sirius gasps before he runs to the door to look outside. Three large, horse-like creatures with wings fly out over the trees, away from the school.
"Merlin, they were going to have hippogriffs again?"
"Yeah, it's ridiculous! It took forever to cut the ropes, too. Crazy animals, those things."
The Care of Magical Creatures exam will most likely be postponed for at least a week. Not that all of them wouldn't have passed it anyway. But they had to do something for exam season, or it just wouldn't be right.
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