Looky here an update!
Well, well, this is a turn out isn't it? An update from me. Don't get cocky now you lot and say 'about time' if you don't mind, because my GCSE's are a lot more important right now! I don't mean that in a nasty way whatsoever, just so you know too! It's just well, revision this, revision that. I like to take a break from it now and then to write and this is my little hobby right now! So yes updates will be tight I'm sorry but hey, I'm still sat here doing them right? And in the words of my fellow writer (and friend I should think) Steph –spikestrife- ,
"A masterpiece takes a long time to write". Tsch, yeah right. Don't quite class this garbage as a masterpiece but it makes me happy writing it so there you go, and using your quote Steph sort of gives me an excuse for slackness...whistles innocently
Now read on! Go on, get! hehe
When Heart Rules Over Mind
A Heartbreaking Realisation
Looky here an update!
Well, well, this is a turn out isn't it? An update from me. Don't get cocky now you lot and say 'about time' if you don't mind, because my GCSE's are a lot more important right now! I don't mean that in a nasty way whatsoever, just so you know too! It's just well, revision this, revision that. I like to take a break from it now and then to write and this is my little hobby right now! So yes updates will be tight I'm sorry but hey, I'm still sat here doing them right? And in the words of my fellow writer (and friend I should think) Steph –spikestrife- ,
"A masterpiece takes a long time to write". Tsch, yeah right. Don't quite class this garbage as a masterpiece but it makes me happy writing it so there you go, and using your quote Steph sort of gives me an excuse for slackness...whistles innocently
Now read on! Go on, get! hehe
Cloud stared at the man before him, in a mixture of shock and strangely enough, relief. He had been expecting much worse. And that, he thought to himself, was down to his mind overacting. He had a nasty little habit of letting his head get more than a little fuzzy and messed up at times.
His eyes looked over the man, taking in every recognisable part of him.
Those glaring red eyes...
That trademark red cape...
And that unmistakable claw...
Cloud smiled at his old friend as he sheathed his trusty sword in its place on his back, nodding to him in return.
"Vincent. Now there's a surprise."
"Where is he?" A dark voice demanded somewhat irritated.
"I still don't know. Nothing has happened since last time we met here, if there was anything you know I would have told you." A younger voice replied matter-of-factly.
The confrontation was taking place between the two people in the same spot they always met up at every Sunday night – in the Oblandir Jinete hotel in the main resort of Costa Del Sol. Room number 7 to be exact.
"I thought you said she was still hanging on for him?" The mysterious voice pressed on.
"She is! She won't exactly forget him in a hurry will she? She grew up with him for Christ sakes..."
"Enough! I know all of that, and you being smart won't help the matter any. If she wants him that bad she'll do something. She must know something as to where he's hiding..."
"Are you sure the guy cares for her as much as you say he does? Because I am not lying when I say she hasn't heard anything from him. Maybe he has just given up on her?"
The slightly older man shook his head certain of the fact. "Not a chance. If you knew him, you would know he wouldn't abandon her without a reason. He'll be back soon I'm sure of it. And when he does come back, I'll be waiting. I will get my revenge on the son of a bitch if it's the last thing I do."
"If you say so..." The informant replied getting to their feet and heading for the door. "Same time next week then is it?"
"Same as always. You know the procedure otherwise."
"Come here as soon as anything happens and if you're not here, write the message and shove it under the door to make sure only you read it...yeah yeah, I know all this. Well goodbye until next week then." At that, the informant left the room and closed the door behind them. The man in the room listened carefully, until the sound of retreating footsteps faded as they carried their owner down the corridor and down the steps to the entrance/exit hall.
"I'll be waiting..."
Cloud walked into his room and closed the door behind him, locking the latch on the door as he always did. Not that the cosy house he was currently lodging in was unsafe, but the people in the Condor village had a habit of using everyone's home as an open house – knocking and walking straight in without waiting for a reply which had led to them witnessing things from Cloud polishing his rather menacing looking Ultima sword, to getting changed.
Such occasions had resulted in him unintentionally scaring his unexpected visitors, mainly the woman who owned the house, who since witnessing Cloud bare chested one morning having just woken up, and wearing only boxers, she had banned her son Akao from entering the room without permission. She had given herself the same warning also as was to be expected.
Cloud smirked to himself remembering the look on her face. He had been half asleep and not really aware until she dropped the breakfast tray she had been carrying and rushed out of the room, not daring to speak to him for at least a week.
"You seem to have settled in well here."
Vincent's voice broke Cloud's thoughts, and he turned to see him standing at the foot of his bed beside the thick wooden framed, large circular window. His dark form was silhouetted against the bright beams of sunlight streaming into the room.
Cloud nodded and motioned to the two chairs opposite his bed that sat either side of an oval shaped table, all of the same material – oak. His sword was placed on top of the table, with various materia orbs inside half of the slots on the hilt, and others strewn on the table. Cloud mentioned for Vincent to excuse them, as he had been swapping them around earlier.
Both men took their seats, Cloud resting his arms in front of one another on a clear space on the table. Vincent sat upright, keeping his arms by his sides. Cloud smiled to himself. He still hasn't shed his formal attributes then huh? Figured...
"So, do you want me to start from the beginning?" Vincent stated, catching Cloud off guard.
"Straight to the point then? And here was me thinking you were just here to have a good old nosey at my room." Cloud smirked, and as usual got no reaction from Vincent. Cloud shook his head at this and cleared his throat.
"Actually I wouldn't mind knowing what you're doing here. I have to say I admire you Vincent, of all the people who could have set out looking for me, I thought you would be the least likely."
"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not. But I'll dismiss it for now." Vincent stated, earning a small smile from Cloud, as he recognised Vincent's increasing effort to be more at ease around him, though he still aimed at hearing a bit of humour from the guy.
"I did not originally set out to come looking for you Cloud, not intentionally so don't make misconceptions. I merely came across the area as I, like you, decided to travel alone after our famous journey came to an end. I needed time alone. If you remember, when you and Tifa first came to awaken me along with Barrett, I had spent many years with myself as my only company. To go from being confined for so many years, to travelling in a large band of companions, in constant company was a large contrast."
"Once our journey ended, the time came for me to go back to being alone once more; for a short while at least. I had seen the world with AVALANCHE, and for that I am grateful, but still I hadn't been able to genuinely and fully come to terms with this new world. My past was in a completely different setting, and I needed to adapt to this new world that now had freedom from the chains once bound to it by Shinra."
"I journeyed far, choosing as you also did, to keep hidden from the hungry public eye. I kept away from AVALANCHE. Being anywhere near AVALANCHE meant I would be swarmed with my own pack of journalists, as I am sure you gathered."
Cloud nodded in response.
"Yesterday I arrived here in the Junon area, planning to situate myself here for a while, as I had not been here since our journey. I never did visit Fort Condor last time with you and so I wanted to see the area for myself. What I didn't expect to find was someone familiar sitting atop a grass covered small peak. I wasn't sure whether or not to get ready to follow you elsewhere, but when I watched you retreat to the Condor village I discovered where you had been hiding yourself for all this time."
Cloud looked at his friend somewhat surprised.
"You saw me? You mean you were actually close by? But I didn't sense anyone there; I didn't hear you or see you. My senses are usually pretty reliable." Cloud said, sounding a little disappointed with himself.
"You forget that I am better skilled at stealth than perhaps any other on this planet Cloud." Vincent simply stated, which reassured Cloud.
Cloud sat back in his chair and sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"I guess now you'll want me to explain my side of the story."
"You would be correct."
Cloud scratched the back of his neck – an annoying habit of his when he was nervous, or felt awkward. He eventually sat back in his chair and looked over at the window.
"Why did I leave Tifa...that's what you want to know right?"
Vincent kept silent, but Cloud was exactly right, it was the one question every single member of AVALANCHE, and the world wanted to know.
"Well you'll be disappointed to know that I still don't know myself, a good enough reason to dignify leaving her. I shouldn't have done it. I know damn well I shouldn't have. I have my reasons, however lame they may be."
"You see, what none of you can understand is what it's like to have my thoughts and my memories in your head, constantly eating away at you every minute of every day. The mako poisoning was the worst blow to my physical state, and still I experience excruciating headaches and migraines that almost tempt me towards cutting my head right off at times."
"But that is nothing compared to the pain I feel inside here." He said, pointing to his chest. He sighed and looked back at Vincent. "I still remember Aeris' death vividly. I remember Nibelheim, the flames, the sight of my mother or what was left of her lying motionless on the floor of my burning home...The image of Tifa lying there unconscious, bleeding to death on the steps of the reactor...Pain, Vincent. It never leaves me. I wallow in it unwillingly, and get reminders of it in the frequent nightmares that haunt my dreams."
"I came here to escape it. To escape the world, the people, the memories, the places, all of it. Condor was the one place I remember which sticks to the traditional ways of life. Mako used to provide the people with energy, but once we helped save their own Condor bird, they abandoned the idea of relying on the traitors Shinra, and returned to natural power – logs for fire, and heat, candles and sunlight for light and so on. I knew I would be able to settle here and I guess I have done".
"And as for the other reason I left..." He began, pausing before continuing.
"I defeated Sephiroth, I met him in the lifestream, well my spirit was summoned there at least, and he was a mess by the time I left him. But that doesn't stop me feeling anger towards him still. It has calmed now though, over time. That's one of the reasons I left you all. I needed to leave to protect you all from myself. I nearly killed Aeris Vincent, twice."
"But that was not down to you, it was not your fault. Sephiroth was controlling you Cloud." Vincent interrupted. Cloud just shook his head and continued.
"But I was still capable of harming one of the people I held most precious to me. I had the ability to kill her, and if I could have done that to Aeris then I could have killed – "He paused, finding a sudden lump in his throat that was impossible to swallow.
"Tifa." Vincent finished for him.
Cloud just stared at the table for a few silent moments picturing himself, his blade held high, Tifa standing before him with her loving eyes fixed on his own cold glare. She looked so innocent...
He brought his blade down and struck her – hard. Her scream rang out through his ears at a deafening level.
"NO------O!" Cloud shouted, slamming his fist down hard on the table, causing his sword to shudder and a few materia orbs to fall onto the ground. He sat there, shaking for a few seconds until he managed to compose himself.
"You see? Do you see now Vincent? I'm a wreck! If I go anywhere near her I could hurt her! I could ruin her life Vincent! Don't you understand?"
"Like you have done already." Vincent stated in a cold tone.
Cloud just stared at him.
"What?"
"Like you have done already." Vincent simply repeated.
His words stung Cloud like the bite of poisonous venom.
"What happened to her Vincent?" Cloud asked bravely, in a quite, shaky voice.
Vincent simply glared at him, more coldly than usual which was some feat.
"To put it simply my friend." He said in a tone that sent an uncomfortable shiver down Cloud's back.
"You snapped her heart in two without a single careless thought of consideration and murdered the optimistic person she used to be for good."
"I was there. I watched her break down in the aftermath of your abrupt departure." He added.
"But she understood! She told me she did! She smiled, she made it clear she would be ok without me!" Cloud blurted out in his defence, thought he himself didn't believe a word of it the second the words came out of his mouth.
"Well then you obviously don't know Tifa at all." Vincent stated before he got to his feet and left the room without another word.
Cloud watched him leave and the slamming of the door was followed by a powerful silence that brought with it Tifa's screaming voice of anguish back to his mind, with images of her distraught face, the anguish in her eyes, the tears streaming down her beautiful face...
Cloud sunk his head down onto his folded arms on the table and remained there for the rest of the night. Vincent had confirmed the worst. Cloud had done the one thing he vowed he would never do, and the worst thing he could have ever done.
He had broken the heart of the one woman he always cared for, and vowed to protect. What was the use of protecting her from others who would hurt her, when all along it was him she needed protecting from.
Authors Notes: Well this chapter is a little shorter than I would like it to be, but I felt this was a good place to end it and that way I could give you guys a nice update for once! You can't say fairer than that can you? Well a few things to point out here, the middle section may have seemed a little confusing but it will all make quite scary sense in the near future, so bare with me I am not giving anything away so don't ask! hehe
Thanks for reading! Oh and I'm going to pinch and idea from a friend of mine and do a few thank you's of my own here to people I think deserve it.
WrexSoul – You have always updated every chapter I have written with an open mind and a positive outlook. I always look forward to reading your comments because you are truthful about what you think and I respect that. Like when you thought I cut off early in the first chapter? I agreed with you and added a bit on the end if you hadn't already noticed! Thanks again WrexSoul!
Cloud Bahamut – Thanks for reviewing! You are always truthful about what you think and I appreciate it when you say you like a part of my writing because most of the time so far you mention the points I need to build on, which makes the times you say you like a particular part, even more meaningful.
Spikstrife – Ah Steph. Where would I be without you? lol I know you are always thanking me but now it's time for me to return the favour! Your emails are always positive and cheer me up no end! Thanks for your reviews and I will look forward to reading your next chapter of your wonderful fic (A plug here in case you hadn't noticed folks!!) Thanks again!
And to those who I haven't mentioned, your views and opinions mean a lot to me so please review and/or email me and I will email you back. Thank you for having the patience for reading this!
Xx Jessie xX