Last Time: P-chan came a little TOO close to the girl's
secret for his comfort. He and Mousse try to locate Ranma so
they can 'talk'.

"WITHOUT RANMA" Part Eight
By Shikoku and Steel

Ranma, who never had a very long attention span when it came
to anything other than fighting or eating, had long ago
given up looking for the lost boy. He had decided that it
was almost impossible to do, as Ryoga could be practically
anywhere, so he gave it up, figuring that Ryoga would just
find him.. He always seemed to be able to do that
eventually..

For now, Ranma was sitting on the roof of the Tendo house,
watching the world go by and wishing he could get rid of
this nagging feeling inside of him that everything about his
life was all wrong..

Ryoga was, of course, still with Mousse as they roof-hopped
in their search for Saotome. The male amazon glanced over at
his disgruntled companion who was scowling as they hopped
the gap between two buildings.

The reason for Ryoga's unhappiness THIS time was the chain
leash Mousse had put on him to keep him from wandering off.
While he knew it was a good idea, it was still humiliating.

"This is humiliating." the lost boy complained.

Mousse sighed, indicating that this wasn't the first time
that Ryoga had brought that up. "I know, but I don't want to
end up looking for Saotome AND you."

"I know I KNOW.." Ryoga growled, and he did, but that didn't
mean he couldn't irritate the hell out of Mousse for doing
it to him.

And he was doing a REALLY good job of that. Mousse thought
he had a humongous headache.

Ryoga just snorted and continued to grumble to himself. He
was irritated about the leash, but what was really making
him mad, was still Ranma and his desire to cave the young
martial artist's head in. Though it could be argued that
this was nothing new for Ryoga, this was actually the first
time Ryoga was RIGHT in blaming Ranma. True, he might've
been only PARTIALLY right, but he was right nonetheless.

We might have to celebrate and give the lost boy a party
after this.. :-)

Anyway, the two young men eventually came
to the Tendo's house where they discovered the pig-tailed
boy laying on the roof.

"How convenient," said Mousse.

And without further ado, the two airborne martial artists
attacked Ranma.

Saotome barely escaped being pounded into the roofing tiles.
The other two had (naturally) screamed his name and told him
to say his prayers, thus giving him the precious warning he
needed to get out of their way in just the nick of time.

You know, with all the times that's happened, one might
start thinking that these people yelled like that on
PURPOSE..

Ranma's avoidance of their opening attack didn't seem to
faze them. (Does it ever?) They kept right on attacking on
the roof, causing more of the ceiling in the room below them
to fall down.

Part of it landed in Soun Tendo's tea, from where the owner
of the Tendo dojo sat playing 'Go' with his panda companion.
"It appears that young Ranma has found himself another
fight, Saotome," the long haired, martial artist commented.
He appeared used to watching his house fall apart.

The panda mumbled something and nodded. It was no big deal
to him, either.

The two men continued on with their game.

It might not've bothered the two old martial artists, but it
sure as heck bugged Akane. Having the roof fall on her head
was REALLY wrecking the mood..

"Raannmmaaaa!" she yelled angrily, flinging the blanket off
herself as she got up. "Of all the times for that IDIOT to
pick a fight.." she growled, tugging on her discarded
clothes. She yanked open her window (nearly breaking it in
the process) and started for the roof to give that.. that..
BOY a piece of her mind..

Left behind in her bed, Ukyo looked to Shampoo. "Should we
get into this yet?" the brunette asked the amazon.

Shampoo shrugged, "A-chan can take care of herself, but I
don't mind helping her pay back interrupting OUR moment."

Ukyo nodded. "You've got yourself a point, sugar."

So the two other girls started searching around the room for
their own clothes. Minutes later, they also met everyone
else up on the roof.

What they arrived to, was the sight of a VERY angry Akane
holding Ranma up off the roof by the front of his shirt. She
was shaking him and yelling something about rude jerks,
insensitive bakas and if he wanted to fight, why didn't he
take it into the dojo where it belonged!

Mousse and Ryoga were standing off to the side, being too
busy sweatdropping to help Ranma, who was being shaken so
bad it looked like his head would fall off..

Shampoo and Ukyo targeted the two other men and fixed a
glare on them.

"Stupid Mousse," Shampoo shouted at the glasses wearing
martial artist. "What you doing here?"

Mousse jumped. "Sh-shampoo!" He hadn't realized she was
there. "I-I-I-" he stammered, being too surprised to
coherently answer the irate amazon female.

Shampoo just shook her head. Men. she thought, darkly..
Who needs them?

"So what's YOUR excuse, Hibiki?" Ukyo grilled the Lost Boy.

The Lost Boy almost got another nose bleed, thinking of what
brought him here..

"WELL?" Ukyo demanded impatiently, tapping one foot.

Mousse elbowed Hibiki in the chest. He then answered for
him. "We've just come to talk to Saotome," he said.

Shampoo snorted. "Your idea of talk to Ranma is cutting
him in half? Stupid Mousse."

Right then, Akane interrupted their conversation by throwing
Ranma into both Mousse AND Ryoga. The boys reacted just in
time to catch the pig-tailed martial artist before the force
of the throw knocked them all down onto their backs.

"Baka." she growled. Obviously Ranma had said something that
didn't sit well with her..

Ukyo and Shampoo glanced at her questioningly, but then
decided it'd be better to ask in private. Speaking of
private, that was where they'd all prefer to be right now.
They wanted to continue with their playing..

"OWW!" Ranma growled angrily. "What'ja do THAT for!" He
turned his angry look on Akane.

"Can't you guys find someplace ELSE to try and kill each
other?" Ukyo yelled at the three young men.

"Yeah, Ranma!" Akane put in. "Our roof has ENOUGH holes in it
already, it's doesn't need you making MORE!"

"Besides, you so distracting.." Shampoo added, still
thinking about that empty warm bed..

All three boys cowered under the girl's yelling. It was
three to three, but they still felt outnumbered.

Fortunately for the boys, the girls quickly lost interest in
them, preferring to dwell on other things. Sure that the
boys had learned their lesson and wouldn't make the mistake
of disturbing them again (at least until next time), the
girls all left to go back to Akane's room.. and her warm
bed..

Ranma watched them go. He shook his head to himself. He
might turn INTO a girl, but he STILL didn't understand
them.. He sat down dejectedly, wondering why his old insults
didn't work with Akane the same way they once did. He was
slowly starting to realize that being with her wasn't the
same as it once was.. The fact that she could ignore him so
quickly proved it.

Finally he looked up at Mousse and Ryoga, who were still
hovering over him. "Well? Aren't you going to beat me up
now?"

Ryoga looked over at Mousse. "We need to talk." And the two
promptly sat down.

Ranma looked at them suspiciously. "What about?" He didn't
usually talk to his rivals unless a threat big enough to
force them to team up came to Nerima. He hoped that wasn't
the case. For the first time in Ranma's life, he wasn't in
the mood to fight anything.

"We think you know, Saotome," said Mousse. The Chinese
martial artist pushed his glasses to sit on the top of his
head, then peered at the other martial artist with big,
blue, half-blind eyes.

Ranma merely stared back, not saying anything. Ryoga sighed.
"It's about Akane and the other girls." he stated, then
quickly grabbed his rapidly heating nose to stifle the blood
that was trying to leak out. He really had to stop thinking
about THAT picture in such.. detail..

Ranma's heart stopped when Ryoga mentioned them. Suddenly
that picture that had been fixed into his mind, came back
again. The one that up until now, he had been trying to
forget about, swearing it off as being just a part of his
warped Nekoken state. But why then was Ryoga bringing them
up..?

"Uh.. I don't know what you're talking about," said Ranma.
Ah, denial is truly a stubborn thing.

Mousse gave Ryoga a pointed look. (Though he had been
wanting to look at Ranma.) "Oh come on, Saotome, you can't be
that much of an idiot.."

Ryoga turned Mousse to face Ranma.

"What do ya mean by THAT?" Ranma demanded, hoping to start
a fight. Maybe if they started fighting, Ryoga and Mousse
would forget whatever they were getting at and he could
continue to ignore the really bad feeling he was getting in
the pit of his stomach.

But unfortunately, Mousse wasn't going to fall for it. "I'm
talking about Shampoo and I guess Akane Tendo and Ukyo
Kuonji, being gay."

Ranma jerked at hearing Mousse be so.. blunt about it. He
hadn't expected the long haired young man to actually SAY
it..

Ryoga looked rather unsettled himself and he uncomfortably
shifted his sitting position. He swallowed. "Uh.. yeah..
that." he nodded. How could Mousse be so.. casual about it?

Mousse didn't notice Ranma and Ryoga's reactions to what he
said.. possibly because he couldn't see them that clearly.
"I mean, haven't you noticed that the girl's have been
awfully.. close lately..?"

Ranma fidgeted and tried to ignore Mousse's first statement.
"Well, yeah.." he said. "But girls're just like that..
right?" Of course they were, he told himself. Afterall,
girls always hung out in groups at the mall, and during
lunch time and they were ALWAYS going to the bathroom in
groups. That's all it was.. wasn't it?

Mousse shrugged. "Sure, but how often do girl's share the
same bed.. and underwear?"

Ranma jumped and nearly fell off the roof. He stared at the
myopic young man, his eyes wide. THAT he REALLY wasn't
expecting, and DEFINITELY didn't want to hear. He couldn't
say anything but he made some interesting gurgly noises.

And Ryoga fainted, with blood shooting outta his nose..

Mousse just watched the two of them with slight amusement.
"You mean you haven't noticed?"

"NO!" Ranma exclaimed, appalled at the very THOUGHT. Sharing
underwear? Eeeeewwwwww...

Mousse shrugged. "Well, it's true.. Shampoo has always been
that way, but I am kind of surprised Akane Tendo and Ukyo
Kuonji would go for it.. Well, guess I'm not surprised
they'd go for HER, but still.."

Ranma was really surprised that Ukyo and Akane would go
along with it too. Afterall, they already had HIM, what else
could they possibly need?

"But I guess I can't blame ANYONE for wanting Shampoo.."
Mousse paused a moment to drool a bit at the thought of
Shampoo's great bod..

The pig-tailed martial artist poked at Ryoga to try to take
his mind off what Mousse was saying. He REALLY didn't like
the thoughts that were racing through his brain right this
moment. He was starting to feel ill..

Mousse, too busy dwelling on Shampoo, left Ranma to his
thoughts.

Both men (and the unconscious Lost Boy) would probably have
stayed there in their own thoughts forever, but then a
rather loud moan of passion from the room below them managed
to grab their attentions.

Ranma nearly fell off the roof again. "The heck-?" he
exclaimed, surprised.

"Why don't you go see what that was?" Mousse pretty much
challenged Ranma to do.

Ranma, never having refused a challenge in his life,
couldn't even ignore this one.

He soon wished he HAD refused:

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! RANMA YOU HENTAI!" Akane screamed as she
hurriedly pulled up the sheet around her chest. She looked
frantically around room then bent down, picked up a
convenient barbell and threw it at Ranma.

The pig-tailed martial artist, who had been stunned by the
sight of Akane's naked body, (and the hands and lips that
had been doing wonderful things to it) completely failed to
dodge the weight and was struck dead in the center of his
face by it. Of course he was knocked to the ground through
the window he had been peeking at Akane through.

"Told you." Mousse muttered just behind Ranma. He had the
STILL unconscious Ryoga slung over his shoulder, as Ranma
fell past him.

Mousse however, didn't have long to be smug, for Shampoo
soon belted him with Akane's OTHER barbell. "Stupid Mousse!
What you still doing here?" Shampoo huffed. Why did the baka
always have to spoil her fun?

"Sh-Shampoo!" Mousse stuttered, searching for his glasses
that had fallen off his head with the barbell hit him and
knocked him back to the grass. "I-I was just trying to
convince Saotome about you and Akane Tendo and Ukyo Kuonji."
He peered through his thick lenses at what he hoped was
Shampoo's direction.

What he saw, however, was Ramna's upside down body where the
boy had impacted a rock with his face. Saotome twitched
slightly.

"Sha- Shampoo?" Mousse croaked. (He of course, wasn't in any
better shape from his own impact with a barbell.) "When did
you get so crumpled and bloodied?"

Shampoo snorted at Mousse's stupidity.

Akane scowled down at the three boys, two of which were
unconscious. "Why don't you just buzz off and mind your own
business?"

Ranma suddenly flipped to his feet and seemed completely
alert. He stood there for a moment. "Ooowwwwww..." he
muttered, then fell back over..

All three girls sweatdropped as one.

Upon recovering, Ukyo spoke first. "You know, I don't think
there's any avoiding this one.. We've been caught.."

Akane sighed and pulled away from the window where the girls
had been watching the boys. "I suppose you're right.." she
said, sitting down on the bed. She adjusted the sheet still
worn wrapped around herself.

"That is not a bad thing is it?" asked Shampoo.

The short haired girl blinked. "Huh?" She looked up. "No
it's not a bad thing. I just hate being interrupted." she
said with a shrug.

"Ah," said Shampoo with a smile. "Interrupting can be good..
It mean we get to start up again." and with that, the purple
heaired beauty pounced on Akane..

"ACK!" Akane shrieked as she fell back over onto the bed.
She laughed at Shampoo's eagerness. "Well, you DO have a
point." She then drew the amazon down for a kiss.

Ukyo watched the two with amusement. They'd already spent
who knew how long playing and those two were STILL full of
energy. She giggled to herself for a moment, then glanced
out the window at the boys. Ranma and Ryoga were still
unconscious and Mousse was searching for his glasses. She
decided to leave them there and went to play with her
friends.

While the girls were playing in Akane's room, on the ground
Mousse had finally found his glasses. He sighed, wondering
what to do now..

He pondered his problem for awhile, then decided he couldn't
do ANYTHING if Ranma and Ryoga wouldn't wake up. So he
decided to fix that little detail..

By first kicking Saotome in the head.

"OWWWWWW!" cried Ranma popping up and rubbing his head.
"What'd ya do THAT for?"

"You were unconscious. Now you're not." Mousse replied
simply. He turned to Ryoga. "Help me wake Hibiki."

Ranma glared at Mousse for a moment, not appreciating his
logic, but helped Mousse with Ryoga anyway.

The two boys tossed Hibiki into the Koi pond where he came
up as a spluttering, half drowned pig. Mousse then poured hot water over him from a tea kettle Mousse had
up his sleeve.

Ryoga was of course glaring at them, showing both fangs when
he had recovered his humanity.. "What did you do THAT for?"
He yelled, angrily pulling his soaked shirt back on.

"You're being unconscious was not beneficial to my cause."
Mousse answered, pushing his glasses onto his head. "For us
to talk to the girls, you both must be awake to hear it."

Both Ranma and Ryoga proceeded to look nervous. "You mean..
we have to go back... in there?" said Ranma.

Mousse shrugged. "If you want to know what's going on, yes."
he said to a large rock.

Ranma and Ryoga proceeded to sweatdrop.

Mousse didn't notice since he couldn't see them.. and he was
still looking at the rock..

"Comon, Duck-boy," said Ranma finally losing his patience
with Mousse.He grabbed the taller boy by the collar and pulled him away. "Let's get this over with."

Ranma was finally resigned to his fate..

Ryoga followed dumbly behind them, not quite sure what to
make of things at the moment..

Ranma wasn't sure what to think, either, but the two parts
of his mind that he didn't know about did..

Spade whistled, which was very uncharacteristic of his 'proper' image. "Well.. there's no getting around THAT one." He observed. "I'm sure
we'll be admitting the truth to ourselves very shortly.."

"Heh heh heh..." was Ace's response. He wasn't listening to
Spade however, he was staring (and drooling) at the picture that Ranma was trying to forget. "Yowza.."

Spade looked over at his counterpart and rolled his eyes.
"Soon, very soon, life as we know it will be done for.." he declared
dramatically.

Ace began drooling on Spade's shoes..

To Be Continued...

What exactly are the boys going to do when they try to talk
to the girls yet, again. Will the girls let them live for
interrupting them AGAIN?
Will the truth finally make its way through Ranma's thick
skull? Find out next time..