Chapter 4: Trying

I'm just trying
to find my way
trying
to find my way
trying
to find my way the best that I know how

well I haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
even if it takes my whole life
to get to where I need to be
and if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you and

trying
to find my way
trying
to find my way

Molly flung open the door before Serena could knock a second time. She barely slept worrying as soon as when she arrived home and foundSerena still not there. Serena's cell phone left off, on purpose to piss her off more.

"Where HAVE you been!"

"Sorry!" .

"What happened to you!" Molly cupped her face seeing the 2 bandages over a cut on her cheek.

"Just a tiny cut!"

"When you text me and said you were okay, I was still worried! Why didn't you call back? Where have you been!"

"I got jumped on my way back here."

"What?"

"Yeah, 3 guys, but I handled it, look I gotta shower, I'm late for ballet."

"Wait one second! You got jumped! By 3 guys!"

"I kicked their asses, no worry!"

"You should have called me from the hospital for a ride!"

"The hospital?"

"Who else fixed that cut on your cheek?"

"Right, sorry, I wasn't thinking. I accidentally fell asleep and just rushed here to get my stuff."

"Oh, well, as long as you're alright." Serena smiled. She quickly showered and changed for ballet.

"Who's sweater is this, smells so good!" Molly held it. Serena took it and stuffed it into her bag.

"A cute nurse let me borrow it. He cleaned me up."

"I can't believe I let you go like that. I am such a fool when I've been drinking! How can I call myself your best friend! Rule number one, never let your girl out alone, and always stick together."

"I thought rule number one, was never let your girl go out looking hideous one a first date?" Serena smiled.

"Jokes aside, Serena. I was really worried about you."

"I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"I guess I can this time." They hugged. "You smell different."

"Uh?"

"New bodywash?"

"Yeah. Scary, you know that."

"Well, best friend notices changes. Serena, are you sure..."

"Hey, I'm good now. No need to worry, okay." They hugged again. Serena slipped on her hoodie over her sports bar. "Madame Sokolva may kill me, I'm gonna be 30 minutes late!"

"Oh, I wouldn't mind Nazi Soko."

"You don't have to listen to her cursing in Russian to you. See ya at school."

Friday afternoon, Serena got asked a lot about the cut on her side, though she tossed the questions aside. As captain, no one dared to question her twice. Serena drove to Darien's place. Police lights came over, stopping her after she turned down a street.

"Shit." Serena reached over for her registration and insurance card.

"License and registration." Serena looked up as saw her father and gasped.

"Daddy!"

"What did I say?" Serena handed them over. "You were going 50 in a 35."

"Gonna write your only daughter, your babygirl, a ticket, Daddy?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe!"

"A warning, if you tell me about last night."

"Last night? What happened last night?"

"I don't know, you tell me. 3 guys were found near that Club Fire, they claimed a dark-haired guy beat them up, and mention he was helped by a beautiful blonde 'Pussycat'. Anybody you know?"

"Not a clue."

"Where were you last night?"

"With Molly."

"What happened to your cheek?"

"We goofed around and I punched myself in the face."

"Right. Shall I call and confirm this?"

"Daddy! This not trusting your only daughter is very unsettling. I thought we have a bond, we see eye to eye Daddy.And we trusted one another. You don't trust your babygirl?" She pouted, giving him sad puppy eyes.

"Fine. Where are you off to?"

"Ballet."

"Go on. See ya at dinner." Serena smiled. Her father kissed her and patted the top of her car.

"Babye Daddy." Serena started her car again.

"Keep it under 40, sweetie!"

"Yea, yeah, Daddy." Serena pulled off.

Darien rushed to the door to answer it, but it opened before he could get it.

"Andrew, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Looking for someone else?" Andrew asked with a knowing smile.

"Get the hell out." Darien looked down the hall.

"Whoa, dude. Who is she?"

"No one, what do you want?"

"I always come over to copy notes, medical exam coming up, what's the big deal?"

"I'm just...need to be alone now."

"So there is a girl coming over. Is it that hot blondie!"

"No!"

"Liar?"

"What's her name, Sally, Susie, Sarah..."

"Serena, now go!"

"Did you take my advice and fuck her last night?"

"GO!"

"Fine, I'm off. You will tell me, with details?"

"Fine!" Andrew was shoved to the door. He knew his best bet was to leave now. Serena stood at the door, about to knock.

"Hi."

"Hi," Andrew said. "Pussycat, right?" Serena laughed and nodded. He took her hand, kissing it. "Damn, you're hot." Darienhit Andrew.

"Uh, thanks. It's Serena, though. Serena West."

"Andrew Matthews, but you can call me whatever you want little lady."

"Leave!"

"Wow, Dare, calm down buddy, very unlike you!"

"Fucking get out!" Andrew was shoved out the door. Serena laughed.

"See how he does me, his own best friend."

"He did ask you to leave."

"Who is this little girl?" Drew asked. "She don't know me..."

"GO!"

"Going!" Darien motioned for Serena to go inside. Serena did. Darien quickly rushed to catch Andrew at the elevator.

"And Drew, don't..."

"Tell anybody, I know!" Andrew hit the elevator button.

"I mean it! You can't tell a soul, or else you know what I can and will do to you."

"Awww...sly boy. Your secret love affair with a minor..."

"SHH!" Andrew smiled. "Andrew! I am being serious!"

"Just joking, Robin! I won't give tell a soul your secret."

"You could never be a 'Batman' and I would never be the 'Robin'under your leadership. Be serious for a second here, and please..."

"Don't tell anyone I know!"

"Don't think I won't reveal your dirty little secrets. I think Mina wouldn't take too kindly that you fucked some teammates of hers."

"Wow, throwing that in my face."

"Yes, now you see how serious I am. Go and just don't tell anyone," Darien said as Andrew stepped inside the elevator.

"You better just be fucking her, nothing more." Darien groaned as the doors slammed.

Serena pulled off her long hoodie. Her purple cropped tank and pink-cropped capris and tights. She slipped off her flip flops. Serena walked into Darien's living room. She looked at his tall cabinet, with pictures, trophies and statues. She picked up a photo of him in a baseball uniform. Darien came up behind her and hugged her. His hand at her stomach and waist, his chin at her neck.

"Cute uniform," Serena said. She put it back.

"How did you get in without a keypad?"

"Nigel let me up."

"Dirty old man."

"Why do you say that?"

"Nevermind. Did I make you too late this morning?"

"No."

"I missed you in class. Only one person got my lessons, everyone zooned out."

"You tend to do that, not everyone is on your thinking level."

"I still missed you, you ask questions, make comments."

"Yeah, I do make things interesting." Darien smiled. "I'm sorry about that. Punishment for being late. Madame Sokolva doesn't feel as though I take things seriously, with my audition months away." Serena moved to the couch. He sat on the coffee table in front of her.

"So, about last night..."

"I had fun," Serena said with smile.

"Me too, but is this what you want?"

"Why would I want someone else?" Serena asked.

"We can't be together like you want. Like you deserve. I can't hold your hand in the halls, kiss you anytime I want. We have to act like nothing is going on."

"I know."

"Serena, listen to me. What happened earlier this morning was, was great, but are you sure you can handle just that?"

"So, all we're doing is fucking? I don't mind."

"You're a woman, you can't help but want more, it's in your genes to get attached."

"That's sexist! Not all women want relationships! Not every woman wants to find love immediately, some, like me, want to have try-outs for the part. For now, that's all I need."

"Let's talk..."

"In bed?"

"No, here." She pouted.

"You're no fun." Darien touched her legs. He rubbed her knees. "Okay, about what?"

"Everything. You life, your parents...I already know you don't want to go to college to be a ballerina."

"Just...trying...to find my way."

"What do you mean?" Darien asked.

"You make that sound so simple. In my audition this June, they take only 50 people from all countries, throughout the world. And then only 3 get to join the company for good. Being a ballet dancer and forgoing college is not just a simple alternative. It takes hard work and determination."

"I never doubted that, but..."

"But nothing. It's what I want."

"And that is awesome, but are you sure that's all you want to do in your life?"

"You sound like my parents."

"Don't say that to me," Darien said making a face. "Tell me about them?"

"My parents?" He nodded. "Typical, boy meets girl, boy saves girl. Boy and girl fall madly in love. Have me. Nearly divorced, after 10 years, have Sammy, my little brother. Marriage is a work for them, but at least they try."

"Could have breezed through that any faster?" Serena blushed.

"Sorry. My father is a cop, as you know. Been a cop all his life, now Chief of Police. My mother, well, she is something. My father was born in France, moved to the City where he met my mother. My mother was born in Canada and raised there. My parents are my life. They are my heroes. They have showed me that through hard determination and dedication, anything is possible. I love them so much for that. Then there's Sammy, my friends and my dancing. That's my whole life up to now." Serena smiled. "I know it sounds silly, but since I was little I always wanted to be a princess ballerina. I am good enough, actually, probably the top best damn, dancer in the country, why shouldn't I try?"

"Like I said, you have a brilliant mind too."

"I know."

"Tell me about Sammy, your little brother, what's he like?"

"Well, he's scary, annoying, lovable, everything a baby brother is and should be. He's brilliant like me, potentially could be smarter, but only time can tell. I swear, it's as if we were twins delayed by years. I know him so well. He is though, a very scary little boy, but I love him to death. And I would protect him with my life."

"See, doesn't take much to open up. How about your friends?"

"Well, I met Molly first. In pre-school. We shared a mat, and haven't been able to be separate ever since. She is the sister I always wanted and needed. I love her to death. I met Elaine next. She is the wild child of the group. She has 5 older brothers, she is the only girl. So, she's a bit of rebel. Jamie became apart of our 3some when she moved to California, 5th grade. She's the motherly girl, besides Molly. Jamie is the eldest of us, so take the role serious, though is wild herself. And then there's Karie. She is our princess. I may be the baby of the group, but she is the babybrat." Serena laughed. "I love my girls. We are sisters and we stick together through everything."

"You girls rule the school."

"That we do, well, what about you?"

"Taking in medical school to get my medical Ph. D." Serena realized he left out about his parents, but she didn't want to push him on that issue until she felt he needed it.

"Medical school?"

"Yeah, hopefully by this time next year, I'll be working on my internship at some hospital as a doctor."

"That is awesome."

"Thanks."

"So, a doctor?"

"Surgeon."

"Wow. You do have great hands, which I hear that's what it takes." She took his hands with a huge smile. She leaned forward.

"Sit back." She pouted again, her arm crossed over her chest.

"Fine! Why do you want to be surgeon?"

"Something I always wanted to be, I guess."

"What about marriage and..."

"I'm not the marrying type."

"Why would you say that?" Serena asked.

"I don't know."

"Have you been before and that's why?"

"No. I have never been married, close, but..."

"What do you mean… close?"

"She left me before our wedding day."

"Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry." Serena moved to sitting in his lap and hugging him.

It went quiet for a while as Serena and Darien held each other. "That must have been a killer." She laid her head into his neck after kissing him softly on the lips again.

"Yeah, it was, then. How was...you know?" Darien asked, holding her.

"T'was..it was...nice. I mean, I have nothing to compare to so... Why ask?"

"I know that for your first time, it might have went a bit rough in the end."

"It was a nice rough, I wouldn't change a thing."

"I can't believe how nice it was inside of you," Darien whispered huskily against her ear. Serena blushed. She buried her face into his neck again. "How is it that you make blushing so sexy?"

"It's simple really."

"Oh is that right?" He kissed her shoulder before raising her head with his hands. He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Were there many questions about that cut on your cheek?"

"Not really. I just said I was jumped and I beat the crap out of 3 grown men."

"Really and no one helped you?"

"Yep."

"And they believed you?"

"Of course! I'm stronger than I look! Remember, I rule the school." She held his face and kissed him. She nibbled on his lips before they kissed more passionately. She moaned as he lifted her up and pressed her against the couch. His mouth leaving wet trails down her neck and around her sports bra. His hand moved between her legs, feeling the heat from her tights. Darien's lips covered her mouth again as his hands moved to pushing her tights down.

"Can you...stay for...a while?" His question barely heard as they kissed.

"No, I can't stay. Dinner with the parentals." She pulled his hand from her tights. Darien groaned as she pushed him a bit off her. "Daddy pulled me over before I got here. I think he's worried about me since he found out about those 3 guys."

"He pulled you over?"

"Yeah, he does that to scare me, when I drive too fast."

"He doesn't know it was us right?" Darien asked nervously.

"Oh, of course not! Don't sweat it. He doesn't have any proof who did it, but as a cop, he still ask questions, you know." Darien sighed heavily as he sat up. Serena did the same slowly. Her leg over his lap and behind his back.

"Right."

"You okay?"

"You dare ask the guy with a huge boner." Serena laughed, she rubbed her nose against his cheek. Her arms around his neck.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Serena asked.

"Lessons and schoolwork."

"Maybe I can stop by."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." They kissed. Serena stood up and fixed her tights. She fixed her hair back. "Darien, you asked me if I could handle this, why? Why not just let things happen as they do?"

"I couldn't do that to you. I had to ask. I don't want to appear to be usin...let things appear to be something else when it's not."

"What is 'us'?"

"Don't know."

"When will you know?"

"Soon." He held her waist and kissed her stomach. He kissed her bandage. "Does that hurt?" Serena shook her head. "Let me check it."

"Okay." Darien opened the bandage and closed it back.

"Looks good. No glass, no infection."

"Good." She nodded. "Look, for this to work, Sere, you have to be 100 percent fine with it?"

"I am!"

"And you can't tell anyone! Not even Molly." Serena sighed.

"I know."

"No, this is serious, if someone finds out, if your father finds out, I won't go straight to jail. He will put a bullet in me."

"We'll be buried together, because he will kill me as well."

"No jokes."

"Sorry." Serena looked down at the floor. "I know okay, it's illegal and we can't be seen in public."

"No. Not can't, won't. We won't ever be seen in public together. But that's not all. You can't stay the night again, and risk…"

"Why not?"

"Father is a cop, he will send a squad force looking out for you."

"But I sneak out all the time and he doesn't have a clue."

"Serena..."

"Fine." He smiled. "Besides if my father finds out I was ever on this side of town I would be dead."

"What is wrong with this side?" Darien asked with a smirk.

"Many college guys live close to the university over here, and to my father they are the untrusting devils." Darien laughed. He loved how easy she was taking things.

"Okay, and this is not allowed to interfere at school. I am your teacher, you are the student..."

"I like that, teacher." She pulled his hands to her butt. "Teach me." Serena smiled and put her hands to his shoulders.

"Serena!"

"Still no jokes, gosh!" Serena sat on the coffee table before him. "Anything else, sir?"

"Never call me sir."

"Mr. Shields..."

"Darien."

"Darien."

"Just because I'm allowing us to be in this type of relationship, doesn't mean I will be your slave at school. And you can't work your tricks on me during school hours."

"And why not?" Serena laughed.

"You know why, because I will lose myself around you." Serena nodded.

"Is that all?"

Silence

"I guess that means I need to get going huh? Dinner in all." Serena bent down to kiss him. Darien held her down for another much longer kiss. They stared at each other. "Oh... fucking screw dinner." Serena moved into his lap kissing him hard. Darien welcomed her back into his arms. His tongue slid into her mouth. He laid her to his couch and before they realized it, they were having sex right there.

Whew! Needing a long nap...until next time :P