Shikoku comes out to address their audience. She is wearing a suit of armor, because she knows half of them don't get it and want to kill her.

Steel is brandishing an evil looking sword. "Ok you readers! Listen up!"

"Because of a story of this magnetism.. Is that really a word?" she asks Steel.

"Magnetism? And yes, of course."

"Good," Shikoku looks proud of herself. "We couldn't possibly have just ONE ending to this story."

"Because we couldn't agree on only one."

"That too."

"So this chapter begins the list of every ending we could think of, in no particular order." Steel states. "Pick the one you like and for Heaven's sake, DON'T TELL US ABOUT IT! As if WE care." She rolls her eyes.

"But I like reading disgruntled Ranma fans e-mails." Shikoku whined.

Steel snorts. "Feh. Blowin' a lot of hot air.."

"It just makes my day knowing I annoyed somebody" Shikoku said, dreamily.

"You have problems."

"I know, and we're rambling again."

Steel shrugs. "Most people skip this part anyway."

"True.."

"Oh well.." Steel rests the sword on her shoulder and walks off.

"Enjoy."

-------

"You don't have to wait long to tell me, Akane." Ranma said, stepping out of the shadows of the back alley.

"Ranma!" All three jumped, shocked that he'd been snooping around, eavesdropping.

----------

They then beat the living shit out of him again, cause they hated when he eavesdropped on them. Defeated, he crawled back to the bar. "I hate women.." he muttered to his two companions, both of whom were suffering from hangovers but still drinking.

Ryoga pulled a barstool out for him. "Join the club, we hate women, too."

Mousse decided to let Ranma in the conversation they were having while he'd been gone. "We can't take the abuse any more!" he exclaimed to the bartender, who turned him in Ranma's direction.

"Yeah!" Ryoga agreed, "We're through with girls!"

"Nothin' but trouble!" Ranma concurred.

"They're so abusive!" Mousse added, thinking of Shampoo.

"And rude!" Ryoga was thinking of all times Ukyo had called him a jackass.

"And...Oh wait, you already said abusive.." Ranma paused. "How about... jealous?"

"Yeah!" the other two agreed. "Wait.. what? Shampoo and Ukyo aren't jealous.. Well, to YOU they are..."

"Okay.. how about easily angered?"

"Yeah!" That one they COULD agree on. All three drank to that.

"I wish there was an alternative.." Ryoga sighed, wistfully.

Mousse burped. "There is." he said. "But you (hic) you won't like it.."

"What?" Ranma and Ryoga asked all innocently.

"There's always guys." Mousse stated, waiting for their freak out.

"Guys.." Ranma repeated. His brain was having trouble working. Must be the alcohol.

"Eeewww.. Mousse... you're.. you're a.. a SICK duck.." Ryoga slurred, slowly becoming drunk once more.

"Knew you'd hate that idea." Mousse took another drink.

Both nodded sluggishly. "Guys... don't got no.. curves.." Ryoga was absently wondering why his nose wasn't bleeding.

"And they have.. other things.." Mousse added.

"Boobs." Ranma grunted, his drunkenness making him blunt.

"Yeah.. guys don't have them.." Ryoga said.

"I do." Mousse and Ryoga looked at him. "Well not right now!" Ranma gave them an indignant look. He did NOT have 'man-boobs'!

The three sighed and went back to their drinks.

"But guys do make more sense.." The other two looked at him. "Well, they do!" Ryoga said all defensively.

"You're drunk!" Ranma accused and shoved him off his stool. He fell down and took a long time to get up, again. Ranma snorted. "I'm not..! not..." Where was he going with that..? Oh yeah! "a homo!"

"Neither am I!" the others were quick to agree with him.

"But guy's WOULD be less hassle.." Mousse mused. It was common for shunned Amazon men to start that kind of relationship. "No emotional attachment."

"And they don't get emotional.." Ranma added, thoughtfully.

Ryoga finally climbed onto his stool. "Still don't got no boobs.." His alcohol consumption had fuzzied his brain enough to keep him passing out at the thought of women's breasts.

Ranma nodded sagely and nearly fell off his own stool.

"But men have manly pecs.." Mousse said.

Ryoga frowned. "Why would I like that?"

Ranma was giving Mousse an odd look. "Do YOU like that?" He asked suspiciously.

Mousse shrugged. "If you're an Amazon Male, you try to keep your options open."

"Ick.." Ranma made a face.

"Don't knock it if you haven't tried it." Mousse replied.

"He's right." Ryoga concurred with what Ranma said. Mousse shrugged again and waved for the bartender to pass him another tall one.

They sat there in silence awhile, each in his own thoughts, and deep into his drink.

Ranma couldn't stop thinking about what Mousse said. His liquor muddled mind was a jumble of thoughts and images, few of which made sense. It would take heavy liquor to make him ponder what kissing Ryoga would be like. And right now his body about 98 beer.

So he decided, what the hell, he probably won't remember this in the morning. And so, burping loudly and vulgarly (is that a word?), he wiped his chin, turned to Ryoga, grabbed the lost boy's face and planted a big, wet one on him.

"MMmphh?" said Ryoga and he fell off his stool again, taking Ranma with him. Strangely, Mousse found this exceedingly funny and fell over, laughing his head off. Ryoga struggled a bit more, but finally gave up. Stupid Ranma.. stealing his first kiss... but he might as well enjoy it.

Ranma finally him go. "Bleck.. you taste like sour beer and peanuts.."

Ryoga bopped him on the head. "Why the hell did you kiss me, then?"

Ranma shrugged and tried to climb back on his bar stool. "Seemed what Mousse was... Mousse was..." What was Mousse again? "getting at.."

Mousse thumped his glass on the table loudly, after chugging most of it down in one gulp. "My turn!"

Ranma and Ryoga looked at him confusedly.

Mousse bleary looked back at both of them, before choosing to kiss Ranma. Might as well see what all the fuss was about. "Mmmph!"

Ryoga gaped at the two of them. His muddled brain was still mildly repulsed.

But funnily enough growing interested. "Aww, knock it off!" he grumbled, swinging clumsily at them. "It's my turn!" And HE grabbed Mousse. It was a good thing he was stone cold drunk.

Mousse was happy to oblige. It had been a LONG time since he'd felt another's touch. Too long. He grabbed hold of Ryoga and crushed him in a hug.

Ryoga was crying cause nobody ever touched him like this, and now it had to be two guys. Someone was actually showing HIM, Ryoga Hibiki, AFFECTION! And Ryoga craved affection so badly, he didn't care where he got it from. Even Ranma in drag.

Ranma watched the two kiss and wondered what the hell was happening. And why he was feeling jealous. "Enough already! It's my turn" and he shoved his way in between the two of them.

The bartender, who up to this point had been watching with an off kind of morbid fascination, now seemed to realize they weren't planning to continue drinking. "Hey! Hey! Take it outside!" She'd start a tab for each of them.

So they rented a room in one of Nerima's love hotels and spent a wonderful, if strange, night.

Then they woke up in the morning.

Ranma cracked one bleary, bloodshot eye, then immediately closed it, his head suddenly assaulted by THE WORST headache he'd ever had in his LIFE!

And "Little Ranma" hurt for some reason.

Suddenly Ranma's eyes snapped open and he sprang from the bed, then dashed to the bathroom; one hand clamped over his mouth. Retching sounds were then heard.

"Quiet in there.." Ryoga grumbled from the bed that Ranma had just vacated. "Head hurts.."

Mousse rolled over and fell off the bed.

Ranma screamed. "IT WASN'T A DREAM!"

"OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW! Ryoga and Mousse wailed, grabbing their heads in both hands.

----------

Three months later, they ended up picking out China patterns and lace curtains together.

Damn Ryoga looked good in ass-less leather chaps! And Ranma really took well to pastel fishnet tops. Walking ahead of them, Mousse carried their leashes in one hand. They passed by Akane, Ukyo, and Shampoo, who gawked at them.

"Wow! What the hell happened to those three?" Akane gaped.

"I don't know, but this is Shampoo's favorite ending!" said Shampoo.

"They DO look good in black leather.." Ukyo concurred. She then slung her arms over her lovers' shoulders as they headed back for their apartment.

The End.