Always
Kagome laid in her bed alone. She didn't leave her bed for what felt like years even though it was a few days. Too many things happened, and she couldn't face the world at the moment. Her family was in the kitchen hoping she would come down and eat something yet she couldn't bear to be in their company. She only wanted to be alone, alone with her pain and sadness. She stared out her window to see a beautiful bright day. She sighed. Even the day was against her. She curled on her bed holding her pillow tight against her chest. She should cry she told herself, it could make her feel better yet she had no more tears left in her, she felt dry, and not even human. She was a robot, just surviving the day and not living it.
The unimaginable happened 4 days ago. Kagome still couldn't believe it if someone wrote it in front of her. All her years of struggle and pain to find the shikon shards were over. Her friends went against Naraku and together they finally defeated him. This was why she was here, back home, alone, in her room. She should be proud, should scream out at the world how they succeeded but no joy was in her heart, no smile on her face. Her face was grim, lifeless, as though part of her died that day.
You got your life back, just like you wanted! She thought to herself. That's what she wanted, that's was what she was telling her friends when she was in the past. Still, why did it lose its meaning? Why was her heart breaking at the fact that she had her old life back? A life where she would go to school every morning, have homework and study. She would have no more adventure, no more camping out at night with her friends. She won't see Sango and Miroku fight as they usually do, see Miroku get slapped for his perverted touch. She won't have Shippo in her arms when she went to bed. And Inuyasha, she would no longer have Inuyasha in her life. Kagome closed her eyes at all these painful memories. She asked for her old life back and she got it. She slowly got out of her bed and went to her desk.
Kagome took the big blue book that held all her memories. She hoped that it could make her smile, make her feel something, anything. She opened the photo album and flipped through the pages till she found the picture she yearned for. It was taken 2 weeks ago, before the final battle, before everything. How she wished she could go back to that moment, to that day where she was smiling and happy. With her finger she carefully touched her face and smile. How she wished she could smile now, but she had no joy in her heart anymore. She slowly sketched the figure next to her on the picture. She remembered when she said goodbye and how her tears were cascading down her face. She remembered feeling her body quivering, remember hearing her heart breaking. She remembered turning back the last time to see him, standing tall and looking straight at her before she jumped down the well. That was the moment, when she said goodbye that she lost herself.
Kagome stared at the picture as though her life depended on it. She looked at her friends yet a certain someone held more attention then the others. Inuyasha, her Inuyasha. She traced his figure with her finger, carefully, as she would his sweet skin. She looked at his eyes and how golden they appeared that day. He looked so happy, so proud and regal. That was how she wanted to remember him. Looking at him she felt lost. There was nothing in the world but him. He was, and will always be her world. Even now, he haunts her and her dreams. She can't close her eyes and not see him. But most of all, she can't forget the last time she saw him. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut. Praying for her to forget, begging to any god that would listen to her to make her forget that moment.
It happened, and she had to accept it. She couldn't go back, even if she tried, and tried she did. The scratches all over her arms and legs proved it. "The future should stay in the future, there is nothing more to be done". She remembers Midoriko's last words when the shikon Jewel was whole again and she came to tell everyone that Kagome had to go home. Midoriko said that was the way things should be, what was right. But how can that be right? Kagome lost everything and everyone she truly loved, how can she go on living when she lost the will to live, when she lost her only love, her Inuyasha.
Kagome held the picture against her heart as she made her way back to her bed. She stared at the picture wishing to be back there, back to her home with her family. Why couldn't she have both worlds? If she could go back she wouldn't have let go of Inuyasha. She would have held him tight against her as she was holding the picture. She would of kissed him and tell him she loved him. That he was the best thing that ever happened to her. Kagome suddenly heard her mother's pleading voice call her. She had to move on, she told herself, she had to live, for her sake, her sanity. She carefully left the picture on her pillow as she made her way to her door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had to move on, that was what he would want. She hesitantly looked back at her room one last time as she went through the door and closed it. She closed the door to her room, to the past and she decided to move on to her future.
2 days passed since she accepted the fact that she will never see her friends again. She decided to live. Her heart still ached at night, when her Inuyasha haunted her dreams. She could never forget him even if she wanted to but she didn't, she couldn't. He will always be in her heart, no matter what. She went through the daily things she used to do. She went to school and threw herself back in her studies. It felt good to keep her mind occupied. Still, at night, when everyone was sleeping she would stay up. She would look out her window, to the god tree and remember him and their adventures. Late at night and not making a sound she would go to the god tree and stare at it. She would caress the tree as she itched to do Inuyasha. She would talk to the tree as she would Inuyasha telling him her day and how she wished him to be here with her. Every night she kissed the tree goodnight as she yearned to do Inuyasha before she went to bed, to her dreams with her Inuyasha.
Kagome took a deep breathe as she made her way towards the shed where the well was. She concentrated on the sound of her feet, not wanting to think about anything else. She tried clearing her head of all thoughts, because this was difficult for her as it was. She entered the shed and stared at the well. How many times did she go down the well to another world, to the past? Where she would see Inuyasha's angry face telling her she took too long. He would grumble at her and be mad at her. Still, he would help her carry her heavy bag, and walk back with her at the village listening to what happened to her. He would even laugh when she told him some things saying that her time was strange. He was right after all. Her time seems so foreign now. She doesn't feel connected to it anymore.
Kagome yearned to jump down the well and see him, see them all. Still every time she tried nothing happened. The well lost its power. How could she move on, how can she live a life without them. She tried, she truly did. She went to school, was with her friends and talked about normal teenagers things but it wasn't enough. It could never be enough. Kagome expected to see a demon somewhere. She wanted to see Sango with her huge boomerang. She wanted to see Miroku's Kazaana as it defeated it. She wanted to see Shippo holding her tight. She wanted to see Inuyasha telling her where the shard was as he finished the monster up.
But she can't go back, Midoriko said so. Kagome touched the well again, felt the old wood under her fingers. How could it be so soft after everything it went through? How could it hold its smoothness when it went through some harsh times? Kagome could never stay the same after what happened to her, she changed.
As Kagome touched the wood she felt something rough under her fingers. She looked at it and wondered what it was. There was a message written, one she never saw before. The writing was messy and strange, made by a hand that wasn't used to writing. Kagome's eyes gathered with tears as she read the message. Over and over she read it, let it wash through her and her heart. Can I stay with you? Kagome's lip quivered. Her emotions were overwhelming her, she couldn't help but cry. She couldn't bear being here anymore. This was too much. Kagome ran out of the shed, ran as fast as her feet carried her. She needed to get out, needed to leave. Her feet ran where she wanted to be, to the god tree. The one place she always felt close to Inuyasha, the place where she met him. Her legs crumbled from under her and she was on her knees looking up at the god tree. Why she asked herself, why can't she and Inuyasha be together?
The moon rose up in the sky with the stars as it illuminated the sky yet Kagome still stayed next to the god tree. She couldn't move. She couldn't move on. How could she. How could she say goodbye to her past, to all those who touched her. Kagome thought back to the message she read at the well. Inuyasha must have written it. How she could wished she could be with him. Still, how could that be possible, he was 500 years in the past? Kagome looked up at the sky, at the stars. She then saw a shooting star. She used to tell Inuyasha that people should always make wishes when they see shooting stars. Could a star make her wish come true, when everyone and everything says it's impossible.
Kagome squeezed her eyes shut, urging the heaven to listen to her wish and to make it come true. She only said one word, her heart desire, Inuyasha. Kagome opened her eyes to see nothing happen. Inuyasha didn't suddenly appear in front of her with his trademark smirk. She was alone, alone on her knees crying in front of the god tree. Kagome's body was tired, she needed her rest. Her dreams will be her refuge, she will see Inuyasha there. She slowly got up and dusted herself up. She took one last look at the god tree whispering the answer to Inuyasha's question. Always Inuyasha, stay with me always! One last tear escaped her eyes as she made her way to her house, to her room, to her bed. She took off her school uniform and sank in her mattress, under her covers. Kagome closed her eyes wishing to go to sleep. To see Inuyasha, to be with him, even if it was only dreams, it was better then anything else.
Kagome felt someone in her bed with her, she heard the heavy breathing. She was sleeping; it must be Inuyasha she told herself. She felt his arm circle around her waist as he brought her to his chest, to his warmth. Kagome sighed in pleasure, as she felt him surround her. How she wished this was real and not a dream. Kagome opened her eyes and lifted her head to see her silver head, amber eyes Inuyasha. Her eyes opened wide in surprise when she didn't see his silver hair. Kagome stared at dark haired, dark eyes Inuyasha, the way he was when he's human. Inuyasha smiled down at her, he saw her shock. Inuyasha slowly caressed her cheek with his hand marveling in the sweet touch. It felt like forever since he last saw her, felt her.
"So… you finally said yes to my question, huh?" Inuyasha said, with a full blown smirk on his face. "It took you a while… must have had fun at school I see…"
"You… you're… real… this isn't a dream?" Kagome's voice was shaky. She couldn't believe this was truly happening.
Inuyasha nodded his head and felt Kagome's body crush against him and she touched him all over to know it was true. Inuyasha squeezed her tight. How he missed her. Kagome's heart was beating so fast, this was real, it truly was real. Inuyasha was with her, in her bed, alive. This wasn't a dream, Inuyasha was truly here. She was so happy, her heart was singing. Inuyasha took her chin with his fingers and stared in her beautiful eyes. He went to claim her lips with his own, during what he wanted to do the day before she left. Both sighed as they kissed their first love kiss. Even the angels from above felt the love from that single kiss and celebrated this union. When they broke up the kiss, they stared into each other's eyes. Kagome had so many questions, about how this happened but it would have to wait. The only thing both wanted to do was to stay together, in each other's arms, in heaven.
They snuggled together, as close to each other as they could as they went to bed. Inuyasha snuggled her hair as he smelled her. He couldn't even express how happy he was with her, like this. Still he had to ask something.
"Kagome…" his voice was sleepy, as his eyes were slowly closing, still he needed to know.
"hmmm?"
"For how long… did you say you wanted me to stay with you?"
Kagome smiled before she answered. "As long as I will always love you, Always Inuyasha, always!"
Inuyasha hugged her tight. Always sounded good. Before letting sleep claim both of them he went to her ear and whispered, whispered the words he always felt but never told her, I love you!