"I'm bored with kicking all in the nuts precious." Sméagol said. "I want to sell mushrooms and be a pimp!" he shouted.
Two weeks later.
"Yo yo yo what you need I got quality shit!" He shouted to the hobbit.
"I need 8 bags of mushrooms." Stated Pippin with blood shot eyes.
"yea I got the stuff do you got the precious?" asked Sméagol.
"I don't have it now but I can get it to you later." said Pippin
"Sounds like a deal would you like some of my fine elf bitches?" asked Sméagol.
"No I'm good I got merry waiting at home." said Pippin.
"When you said do you got the precious you really meant gold right?" asked the elf bitch.
"Bitch don't correct me!" shouted Sméagol as he smacked the elf bitch.
It was silent for a minute then nothing could be heard but the sounds of horses running to the scene.
"your under arrest by the rohiran police for pimping elves and the selling of mushrooms. Pippin for being a hero your free to go."
"What he was buying mushrooms and he still hasn't paid me!" shouted Sméagol.
"Shut up you!" yelled the rohiran.
3 months later outside of merry and pippins house
Sméagol kicked in the door to the hobbits house. He saw Pippin in the door way.
"kick hobbits in the nuts!" he shouted as he kicked him in the nuts.
"bless me little hobbit balls" Pippin squeaked as he fell to the floor.
No sooner was Sméagol on top of him smacking him.
"Where's my precious bitch!" he yelled.
The End
Sméagol's a pimp!