"Greg! Wait up! Greg!" I hear Catherine call out my name. It made me walk faster.
I passed by the break room and it was empty. Good, I need to be alone. I closed the door and stoodin the corner. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Stupid, Greg. That was stupid. Humiliating myself like that. What was I thinking? She's Catherine Willows. The Catherine Willows.
"Greg, you in here?" I hear a gentle knocking and the door opens slowly. Catherine looks in. "Greg?"
"Cath, not now, please." She comes up to me, looks at me squarely, "that was a low blow, Greg, and you know it. Asking me like that, trying to see where you stand.'
I hold up my hand interrupting her, "I know, I know. Just stop. I'm sorry. It wont happen again . I just…" I take a deep sigh, "Cath, please. I.." What else can I say?
Catherine continues to look at me, her arms folded across her. With a somber look I added, "I'm sorry. Please, I'm sorry. I just don't know what else to do. I couldn't tell or ask anyone. So I came to you."
Catherine turned around and walked out of the door.
'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach.'
Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew what she was writing about. 'How do I love thee, Catherine? Let me count the ways. I love the every thought of you. Everything you represent and stand for. All that you have given and offered in life. The way you smile, the sound of your voice, how comfortable and confident you are. The way you move, every expression, every feature is breath taking. How do I love thee, Catherine?' Everything. Everything about you.
I'm not a love sick puppy. I know it didn't blossom over night. It took time. Sure, I had this thing for Sara at the start but after awhile, I realized we were more better off as friends. Catherine on the other hand was… different. When I first started working I was just another lab technician that she would sent evidence for me to analyze. But it didn't stop from sending evidence and closing doors, she actually stay for a few moments and spent time talking to me. Asked me about me. We talked. Not about work but about other things. It was comfortable. I see her light up when we talk about her daughter. I see her uneasiness when she mentions Sam, her father. I would tell her amusing stories about my side of the family. It was beautiful to see her toss her head back and laugh. Catherine took the time to listen if something was bothering me. Yes, we did get to know each other. I like it that she cared.
When I became a CSI she was the first to congratulate me. It was a hug and a kiss on the cheek. But when we hugged, something deep inside was awaken. I thought it was because I was being hugged by a beautiful woman, smelling the sweet delicate scent of her perfume, the feeling of her body close to mine. Soon afterwardsshe occupied my thoughts. She would come into my dreams.
I couldn't figure it out first. Then I realized I was attracted to her, it scared the hell out of me. I mean who am I to fall for a woman like Catherine?
And here I am, confessing at her door like a love sick puppy.
---oOo---
The night goes by quietly. I try avoid Catherine, I couldn't look at her. After what I did, its best to keep distance. She in return does the same.
Several nights go by soon the tension between me and Catherine does not go unnoticed by the crew.
"Greggo, what's with the friction with Catherine? You two had an argument?" Nick asks while we were in the break room.
"Not really. Its just…nothing." I reply, "I don't want to talk about it."
Nick smiles and presses on, " so, Greg, my man, what did you do to cause fury to the great Catherine Willows?"
Warrick walks in. "what fury in Catherine?"
"Greg and Catherine had a lovers' quarrel," Nick says jokingly.
"I did not have a quarrel with her!" I protested.
"So," Nick says amusingly, "you're not denying you two are lovers!" I look at him while he's grinning widely.
Warrick looks at me. "You two together? Since when, man?" I felt the surprise in his tone.
I know Warrick and Catherine flirted on and off over the years but did nothing of it. When he got married I saw the look of loss and disappointment in her face.
Seeing that it bothered Warrick that there might be a possibility of me and Catherine. She wasn't his anymore. I shot back at Warrick, "It doesn't matter. You're married now, remember?"
He takes a step closer to me, "Hey, where did that come from, man?"
I take a step closer, "why do you keep on flirting with her? It was okay before you married Tina, but why keep on doing it? Trying to make her a mistress, Warrick?"
"Greg, you're out of line that its not funny anymore," Warrick says as he advances towards me.
Warrick and I are face to face. I know the way he continues to look at Catherine. I've seen his stares of lust towards her. I know, because I do too. His advantage is Catherine likeshis attentionand even flirts back at times.
Nick seeing the tension steps in between us and pulls Warrick backward, "hey, guys, were just talking here, okay. Be cool. Just talking."
"Yeah, just talking." I stormed out of the room.
I went into one of the empty lab room, pulled out my ipod from my pocket and turned up the volume way up high. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired not able to talk to Catherine. I'm tired of love and not able to share it. I'm tired of feeling alone in this. I'm drained out. I have nothing for me.
The glass door opens, Nick comes in. I look and him and he's saying something pointing to his ears.
"….down the volume." I hear him say after I took off the earphones.
"Greg, lets talk, what was that about, man?" I see the concerned look in his face. Of course, he is Warrick's friend, and I'm jut an acquaintance. Why would he care? Why would anyone care?
"Dude, its nothing, I just want to be alone for now, okay? I messed up, that's all. I'll apologize to Warrick. I had no right to do that." I take a deep breath. I went around the table and sat.
"Greg, come on. What's up?" Nick with a concerned look, pulls up a stool and sits opposite me.
"Nick, please. I just want to be alone, okay."
"Alright, dude. You need your space. If you need to get something off you chest, I'm here, okay?" He stands up, gives me a pat on the back and walks out.
As it always is, I end up alone.