Alright, so that wasn't a miserably long time to wait… but hey! My story has a new home! And now, I shall continue…

Chapter 3: Georgetta

The sun was setting on the third day of Legolas' trip back home. Sighing, he threw his bag on the ground, and then soon threw himself down beside it. Travelling was bad enough when you had a horse and other people with you, but Legolas was completely alone. He'd managed to make it about a mile from Rivendell, and that was an accomplishment for him, considering he was still sparkly clean and had not a spot of dirt upon his skin.

"What did I do to deserve this?" he whined to himself.

"You broke your promise to Elrond." A voice answered casually.

"Who's there!" Legolas exclaimed, jumping up from his place and grabbing the first thing he could find- a muddy stick. He soon dropped it, simply because it was muddy.

"You have got to be the most pathetic excuse for an elf I've ever seen…" the voice replied. Legolas turned around.

"YOU!" he shouted at the pink-clad elf. "Why are you following meeee!" he cried out, desperately trying to wipe the mud off on his pants. The man simply shook his head.

"Because you need my guidance." He answered calmly. Legolas stopped his attempts to rid himself of mud and looked up at the man incredulously.

"I need guidance! You're wearing pink frills and you say I need guidance!" he put his hands on his hips and smirked, raising an eyebrow. The Fairy Godmother simply sighed and shook his head.

"It's a uniform, I'm required…" he realized what he was saying and stopped himself. "Look, either I can help you, or you can be an idiot and keep walking to Mirkwood. And at the rate you're going, that will take several years."

"Help me how?" Legolas questioned cautiously.

"I'll give you a horse."

Legolas looked around. He saw no horse.

"You're lying. You have no horse to give me." Legolas concluded. The Fairy Godmother sighed. He pulled his wand out from his belt.

"Stand back." He warned. Legolas moved cautiously backward, careful not to step on the muddy stick- he'd already gotten his pants and hands dirty- he didn't need boots to match.

"Now, what's that spell again?" the Fairy Godmother asked himelf. "Ah yes…" he cleared his throat, and exclaimed "Starlight glitter showers!" while pointing to the empty space in front of Legolas.

"EEK!" Legolas cried out and jumped behind a rock. Standing in the once open space before him was a horse. Well, sort of. It had flourescent purple fur and a sickeningly pink mane, with eyes that quite literally looked like glowing sapphires. A strange silver sparkle seemed to be floating around the horse.

"What the…" Legolas peeked over the rock and stared at it in shock. "Awwww! She's so beautiful!" Legolas squealed, scampering from his hiding place over to pet the new arrival.

"Be careful!" the Fairy Godmother warned, but it was too late. As soon as Legolas reached the horse, it lifted its leg and kicked him.

"HEY!" Legolas whined, looking at the horse. "What was that for!"

"You need to make sure she approves of you first." The Fairy Godmother answered calmly, as if it were common sense. Legolas stared at him, dumbfounded.

"And how to do I do that?"

"Well, first you must write her a heartfelt poem expressing your deep love for her, and then…"

--:--

After about an hour had passed, Legolas had finally gained the approval of the horse, whose name turned out to be Georgetta. He had written the heartfelt poem expressing his deep love for her, he had scrubbed her hooves with a toothbrush, he had complimented every feature about her, and to top it all off- he had participated in a ceremony which required him to swear servitude to her until she grew tired of him.

"Now you have Georgetta, is there anything else you need?" the Fairy Godmother asked Legolas, who was now happily braiding Georgetta's mane.

"Well…" Legolas looked himself over and realized he was still covered in mud. "Could I have new clothes?"

"Sure. Now… what's that spell…" the Fairy Godmother thought for a moment. "Oh! Fresh Pink Daffodils!" he shouted, pointing his wand at Legolas.

A moment later, Legolas found himself wearing a striking baby blue and white three-piece suit made of silk. He even had shoes to match.

"Oh! It's beautiful!" Legolas found himself liking this Fairy Godmother more and more… "But how will I keep it clean!"

The Fairy Godmother smiled, with a twinkle in his eye. Legolas would have been afraid of this, but for some reason he wasn't.

"They are magical clothing- they won't get dirty!" the Fairy Godmother replied matter-of-factly. Legolas' eyes brightened like a small child's on Christmas morning.

"Thank you so much, Fairy Godmother!" he exclaimed, running at the fairy with his arms outstretched.

"No! No! Don't-" the fairy began, but it was too late.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Legolas had hugged the fairy, but not for long. After about a second of contact, he found his skin burning like he had just been dropped into a vat of boiling water.

"I tried to warn you!" the fairy exclaimed, watching Legolas writhe in pain on the ground. "If you touch me, you'll get burned!"

"WHY!" Legolas shouted. He was now smacking himself in desperation, trying to put out the little flames that had sprouted on his clothing. A moment later, Georgetta sneezed on him and put out all the flames; but also covering him in snot.

"I thought you said these clothes couldn't get dirty!" a slighly relieved Legolas cried out, seeing the horse snot on him. Then a moment later he realized that his clothes were clean again. "What the…"

"I told you, they're magical- they'll take some getting used to. Now, it is time for me to go. I will return in three days and check up on you and Georgetta. Farewell, my child!" the fairy exclaimed, and he waved his wand and disappeared in a puff of silver glitter.

--:--

Legolas stood rooted in his place. What had just happened? The previous five minutes events all seemed like a blur to him. Things were getting stranger and stranger for the elf prince. He sighed and looked over to Georgetta.

"Well, I guess you're mine now…"

"HA! As IF! You belong to me, servant! Now, get me some water and freshly cut grass! I demand nourishment!" a female voice exclaimed inside his head. His eyes widened, and he looked to the horse.

"You… you can…" he stuttered

"NOW!" the voice shouted.

Legolas jumped back, and then he sighed and made his way off to find water and grass. This was going to be a lovely trip…

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And, so ends Chapter 3! I know, I know, it may not make much sense so far, but I promise it will all add up later!