Disclaimer: Never will own the Harry Potter series; could never own the Harry Potter series

#6 & 7

So far, all you could hear in the Malfoy Mansion over the course of a day was "The Music Man." Not that that wasn't enough. No, of course not. Lucius wouldn't admit he liked the damned musical. Even worse still was that he made up different words to his 'new and improved' songs. Yes, "The Well's Fargo Wagon" had turned into "The Hell's Embargo's Saggin'." Lucius was not aware that this didn't make any sense and probably wouldn't notice. Lucius' wardrobe also changed from the ever-debonair suits to the ever…-eccentric marching band uniforms. These were complete with large conducting hat with over-excessive plumage, a jacket with silver braiding and fake metals, a Snakey Baton instead of Lucius' ever-present cane. And yes, if you wanted to know, there was a stripe down the leg. Not only that, but there was more, he had a cape, not just any cape, but one that had—and I kid you not—special embroidery that said, in a spidery scrip, on the back: "Prof. Malfoy's Elfish Marching Band."

Zenny's plan had backfired.

Really backfired.

She now had to put up with a singing and dancing Lucius all day. And boy was that…fun. There was a new plan now. One that would have Lucius Malfoy screaming—not singing, good God, no—screaming.

"I think it's time to go to bed master!" Zenny screamed as her master waltzed around the room singing "Shapoopie" which had turned into…never mind.

"I'll know when I want to go to bed and it's not now!" Lucius said through his singing.

"Please, for the sake of God and all that are holy, give Lucius Malfoy a concussion," Zenny prayed. She couldn't take much more or she was going to crack. Crack like an angry squirrel (oooh…this could be a future reference…). An angry squirrel with vodka and opposable thumbs.

"Okay, time for bed," Lucius yawned.

'Huh-zah!' Zenny thought triumphantly. The benadryl in his night cap (a night cap that only added to more singing) worked.

Lucius headed up the stairs and took off all his role-playing clothes and got ready for bed. That musical had done him good. He was much more cheerful lately and loved to get up now. Plus the evil house-elf was completely quiet. He'd have to rent out some more movies…Voldemort might want to see them. Maybe he should get a band uniform made for him too…he'd have to bring it up at the next meeting.

Lucius immediately fell asleep after he hit the pillow.

Zenny slowly crept in and looked through the book of evil she was holding. She flicked through as she sat on the floor and studied her prey. She gasped as she found the perfect one. He'd hate it. Zenny waved her hands over Lucius sleeping form. He was so peaceful when he slept. Too bad.

Lucius woke up and started to hum "Marion" which he'd changed to "Bury Him" and stretched. He'd had such a nice sleep. So peaceful, so quiet.

Lucy took his shower and noticed nothing different. Same old, gorgeous him. Oh, how the women woo over him today. Not that he could go out of the house. They would woo over him if he was not captive in his own house.

Lucius slid down the banister in his marching suit and traipsed on into the dining hall.

The vase holding Freckles had been quickly replaced with his dead Aunt Winifred.

He liked Freckles better.

Zenny came into the hall balancing the usual trays of food on her head and arms at the correct time in the correct manner.

Lucius didn't notice how unusually happy she was this morning. Too bad.

"Hello sir! How was your shower? Looking commanding and evil again today as usual—sir…did you do something with your hair?" Zenny greeted as usual, but stopped at the sight of his hair.

"No…" Lucius said as he looked at her curiously. He picked up his spoon and examined his hair, but the image was upside down so he turned the spoon over again and he was upside down again. Lucius threw the spoon across the room and shouted "DAMNED SPOON!" He was getting quite frantic now.

"Here sir!" Zenny handed him a mirror she carried with her for today only and tried to suppress her smug, little grin.

Lucius inspected his hair and with one glance into the mirror he dropped it and the thing cracked.

"Seven years bad luck sir!"

"Shit."

"What is it sir?" Zenny asked. She knew exactly what it was, but this was wonderful.

Lucius fingered his silky tresses and stared straight ahead, absolutely horrified. This hadn't happened since the summer of '79. Armageddon was coming early.

"MY ROOTS ARE SHOWING!"