Karyl stepped into the evil board meeting room, Tymmie not far behind him. He didn't understand why the Atrox called these late night meetings when they could be out partying. Probably just to make them miserable...
"Karyl", Tymmie whined, still dressed in his blue Polar Express pajamas. "What's taking so long? He said he was going to be here an hour ago!"
Karyl shrugged and leaned against the wall. "You know how he is".
"But I'm sleepy!" Tymmie's voice grew more irritating and more curious stares came their way.
"We're all sleepy!" Karyl scowled, losing his temper. "If you hadn't have made me stay up and play trains with you all night-"
"I love trains!"
"I hate trains!" Karyl frowned as Tymmie's bottom lip began to quiver. Oh no. Not here.
"T- Tymmie, no. I didn't mean it that way"
Soft sobbing. "You hate me".
"No, of course I don't hate you".
"You said it!"
"No, I didn't!"
"Yes, you did!"
"I SAID I HATE TRAINS!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAH!" Tymmie's tears broke loose and he sprinted out of the room. Karyl shuffled his feet uncomfortably as every eye in the room pierced into him.
"What're you lookin at?" he grumbled, making his way to sit down across the room, further away from the crowd. He didn't know why he put up with Tymmie. It was like being married. The guy was always whining in his ear and he was such a slob. Their apartment was a mess of trains, hot wheels, legos, and an occasional Barbie doll, all of which Karyl had bought with his own money because heaven forbidTymmie try to keep a job. Anyone else would have murdered Tymmie by now. Hell, he had tried. But when he gazed into those big, adorable eyes- Karyl immediately froze in his seat. Bad thoughts. Bad homosexual thoughts. Think straight. Think straight. Think-
Straight as a Froot Loop.
Karyl nearly jumped in his seat. "Kelly! You didn't- I didn't-"
"Calm down". She tossed back her beach blonde hair and let a slow, sultry smile slip over her blood red lips. "How do I look?"
"You know you look good", he sneered. "Why ask me?"
She laughed. "Haven't you heard? Today is the FFASA debut".
"FFASA?"
"Female Followers Against Sexist Acts".
Karyl cocked an eyebrow. "I never would have took you for a feminist".
"Well, you never know, do you?" She grinned, showing two straight rows of pearly white teeth.
"So the Atrox let you call your own board meeting?"
She nodded.
"Suck up", he muttered under his breath. Kelly had become the new "teacher's pet" since Stanton went all "Full Metal Alchemist" and she was using it to her advantage.
"Order!"
Everyone turned to see the Atrox banging a spoon against a glass. "Order here!"
Karyl saw Tymmie entering the room again out of the corner of his eye.
"Now, I have called this meeting today in order to make known the sexual suppression in our community".
Everyone's eyes lit up.
"I didn't mean it like that" The Atrox held out his arm in a grand gesture. "Give a round of applause for the Female Followers Against Sexist Acts!"
A chorus of groans followed the introduction as Kelly, Morgan, and about twenty other girls ascended the stage.
"Hello". Kelly ignored the less than enthusiastic audience. "I've come before you today to discuss the many trials and tribulations that our women are forced to endure everyday".
"Did you know", Morgan started. "That male followers are given twice as much professional attention than female followers each year?"
"Did you know", came another girl with freckles. "That Pandora was blamed for practically every plagued when in truth, it wasn't her who opened that box?"
"Did you know..."
".. It was a man?"
Karyl buried his head in his hands.
"Our people have been oppressed for ages!"
"Oppressed!"
"We will rise!"
"Rise!"
"Rise!"
"Rise!"
"We demand better wages!"
"Better wages!"
"Better treatment!"
"Better treatment!"
"We demand a new leader!"
"WHAT?" Stanton barked.
"That's right", Morgan challenged. "We don't need a Prince of Night!"
"We need a Princess!"
"Princess! Princess! Princess!"
"Did you know" Kelly started a speech over the chant. "That Stanton is a born male chauvinist?"
The audience gasped while Stanton mysteriously scanned Webster's dictionary.
"It's true!" she roared. "Stanton believes in male dominance! He victimizes young girls and finds submission sexy!"
"Jerk! Jerk! Jerk!"
The audience had began to jeer at Stanton who had found what he was looking for and was fuming like a mad man. The Atrox looked on and clapped his hands gleefully.
"WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Stanton roared.
"What about Cassandra, Stanton?" Morgan yelled. "Remember her?"
"Cassandra", the girls whispered the name fervently among themselves.
"REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO HER, STANTON?
"You have no proof!"
"And he wants to be a Full Metal Alchemist!" Kelly spat. "How STUPID is that?"
"Use your common sense!"
"Eliminate the Prince! Eliminate the Prince! Eliminate the Prince!"
The entire audience joined in.
"We demand a recount!"
"What?" Stanton stepped forward. "This isn't the American government, bitch. I was chosen!"
"Well, not anymore". The Atrox beamed at Kelly. "I'm going to allow it".
"YES!"
"NOOOO!" Stanton wailed. His expression suddenly became solemn and his sapphire eyes pierced into hers. "This means war".
Back at home...
Tymmie took two slices of Wonder Bread. Tymmie placed turkey in-between. Tymmie put them together. And he glared at Karyl.
Tymmie took a bite out of the sandwich. Tymmie chewed roughly. Tymmie winced because he bit his tongue. And he glared at Karyl.
Tymmie-
"Will you stop that?" Karyl looked up from the Dr. Phil book he was reading. "I told you I was sorry!"
"Whatever" Tymmie mumbled defiantly.
"You know, Dr. Phil says that your childish behavior stems from-"
"I don't care what Dr. Phil says!" Tymmie knocked the book from his hands. "It's always about Dr. Phil! All you pay attention to is that stupid book!"
"Look, Tymmie", Karyl growled, rising from his seat. "It's not my fault that you don't know how to read".
"Well, it's not my fault that your sick in the-"
Tymmie never finished his sentence as Karyl had sent him staggering back into the couch. He looked up from the ground, his eyes trembling.
"... you hit meeeeeeeeeeeeee".
"I'm s- you aren't... you're not going to-"
Tymmie started to cry softly.
"Look, I'm sorry! We'll put some alcohol on it! Don't-"
His eyebrows furrowed as footsteps rounded the hall.
"WAAAAAAAH!"
"Shhhh! Tymmie stop!"
More uncontrollable sobs.
He took the boy roughly by the shoulders and shook him wildly. "Tymmie, shut the hell up!"
"WAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Well that worked...
"You hate me!"
"I don't fucking hate you! I just want you to shut up right now!"
Tymmie shot him a death glare, but quieted down. "Fine..."
Karyl rolled his eyes. "I don't understand. You don't act like this around anyone else".
"Well, I don't care about anyone else!"
Karyl gulped. That wasn't a very straight, manly thing to say...
He looked down, realizing that not only was he still holding him, but they were less then inches apart. He brushed a strand of silver from the boy's watery eyes and a half smile curved over his lips. The footsteps had ceased- probably just some drunk kid headed for someone else's apartment- and those homosexual thoughts didn't seem so bad right now. He leaned in slowly and Tymmie made no move to escape. Everything was perfect. The window was open, the breeze was blowing softly, Kelly was there...
KELLY WAS THERE?
"Kelly!" He shoved Tymmie across the room and grinned widely. "What a surprise to see you here... in my apartment... how the hell did you get in?"
She nodded towards the open window. His fists clenched. He knew he hadn't opened that. And it wasn't as if Tymmie knew how.
"What are you doing here?"
Kelly tossed her hair back and filed her perfectly manicured fingernails. "I have a proposition for you".
His eyes grew stony. "If it's anything like that bachelorette party-"
"No, no", she laughed, closing in on him. "It's just a simple favor". Her claws pierced into his shoulders. "A trifle really".
Good. Because he was never popping out of a cake again. "Well?" He pulled away from her.
"I want you to join the FFASA. Our male audience is-"
"No".
"Please?"
"No".
"Karyl-"
"No".
She gave a heavy sigh and raised her arms. "I didn't want it to come to this... but I don't think you have a choice...". She eyed Tymmie.
He gasped. "YOU'RE GOING TO KIDNAP TYMMIE?"
"No, you idiot!" she snarled. "I'm going to blackmail you".
He laughed. "You think you can blackmail me?"
"Yes."
"Well... you can't".
"That's what you think". She started towards the door. "I'm sure that the Atrox'll be more than happy to find that his two boys are all grown up and having sex... with each other".
"We we're not having sex!" Karyl roared. "We weren't doing anything! We were just-"
"What do you call this?" She held up her digital camera and showed them the screen.
Fuck...
"I call it: Yes Kelly. I will work for you and do all that I can to please the FFASA".
"Yes Kelly" Tymmie and Karyl rang in unison. "We will work for you and do all that we can to please the FFASA".
Kelly beamed proudly and put her hands to her hips.
"Now for your first assignment..."
"GAH!" Stanton wailed, stepping out of his evil lair. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
Karyl flinched slightly. "Can't two old friends drop by to see you every once in a while?"
"Yeah" Tymmie agreed. "You really let the whole Prince thing go to your head, eh?"
Stanton crossed his arms. "We were never "friends". And if I didn't know that you two weren't stupid enough to defy me, I'd think you were up to something".
"Up to something?" Karyl gasped. "I'm offended".
"Apalled".
Stanton stared at them both for a few seconds. "Well as long as your around, I suppose you wouldn't mind cleaning my evil lair".
Karyl bit his lips. Stanton was such a slob... "Um..."
"It isn't as if the two of you have anything better to do anyway". He smirked.
Karyl hated that smirk. "You know, we're tired of you disrespecting us, Stanton! We provide comic relief to pretty boys like you and we deserve a hell of a lot more than-"
"By seven o' clock". Stanton loomed over them with a pail and a wash cloth.
"Seven o' clock", they squeaked.
Hours later...
Karyl scrubbed relentlessly at the ground with every fiber of his being.
"It's hopeless", Tymmie moaned.
"The dirt doesn't come off".
"Have I ever told you two how pathetic you are?"
Karyl grimaced. "You better get out of here, Kelly. Stanton-"
"He won't be back for a while. He went to see that little whore again" She strolled about, making faces at the dingy walls. "Has no sense of fashion", she muttered, scribbling the words down in her notebook. She snapped a few pictures with her digital camera before turning back to them. "So what do you have for me?"
Karyl pulled a clipboard out from the interior of his jacket. "Twelve A.M. This morning: Stanton watched the forty fourth episode of Full Metal Alchemist and cried at the end. He spent the next few hours sulking over chocolate ice cream and some blonde guy. Three thirty A.M. Stanton snuck the darker haired Goddess over and lavished her in chocolate and expensive perfume. Four A.M. Stanton spent an hour begging her to sleep with him. No such luck. Five A.M. Stanton masturbates alone on the couch. Six A.M. Stanton cries. Six thirty A.M. Stanton goes to work and has an argument with the Atrox over his new duds and hairstyle: A black tank and jacket with matching pants, a red trench coat, and a braid with bangs. Not to mention his flashy new pocket watch. Eight thirty A.M. Stanton tries unsuccessfully to turn a piece of metal into a sphere with his bare hands and a strange white circle. Ten A.M. Stanton gives up and makes some popcorn. Eleven A.M. Stanton watches more Full Metal Alchemist to see what he did wrong. Twelve P.M. Stanton steps outside for some fresh air, finds us there, and takes his miserable existence out on us".
"Masturbation, eh?" Kelly scribbled something down. "What's wrong? Men too good for women nowadays?" She turned towards the door. "Anyhoo, I have to be off. Don't miss the debate tonight". She smirked. "It's gonna be a good one".
Karyl sighed from the sidelines and tried to focus his attentions on the stage rather than his mass headache.
"Hello and welcome!" Murray's voice boomed from the speakers. "To the first annual Prince/ Princess of Night elections! I'm your host, Murray and these are your lovely contestants!"
"Murray, this is not a beauty pageant!" The Atrox called from his private box. "Do it right!"
"Yes, your majesty! There on the right corner standing six feet tall is the potent, the powerful-"
"MURRAY!"
"JUST KIDDING! The judges have decided and Kelly will start the debate! Good night and GOOD LUCK! You're gonna need it".
Kelly approached her podium on the left side of the stage and brushed a few strands of blonde from her eyes. She ran her fingers seductively down the black material of her businesswoman suit, receiving a chorus of howls and wolf whistles from the audience. Stanton scoffed from the right side of the stage.
"Your majesty! She's provoking exactly what she opposes!"
"I'll allow it!" the Atrox boomed.
"No fair!"
"You misunderstand me, Stanton", Kelly sneered. "I stated that women should be empowered. I never said we couldn't have any fun". She winked at a few lucky guys and Stanton groaned.
"Anyway, when asked what I would do to represent the ultimate evil, I responded that I would make the Atrox proud and by that I mean eliminating every negative influence in our path. That means the daughters... and STANTON!"
The audience gasped.
"That's right. Stanton. Are you aware that he cannot harm one daughter and fancies another?"
A score of overlapping "I didn't know"s rose from the crowd.
Kelly nodded. "It's true. He's had many chances to turn both of them, but he didn't because of two silly human virtues: Love and appreciation. That, my friends, is something I like to call treason!"
"TREASON!" the audience chanted.
"If he were a true prince of darkness, he would have killed them both! Now two daughters still exist! Two daughters are still alive because your prince is a pussy!"
"Hey!" Stanton brought his fist down against his podium.
"It's time we climbed out of this rut! It's time we moved on!"
"YES!"
"Use your common sense, people". She stepped forward. "Eliminate the Prince!"
"USE YOUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE! USE YOUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE!"
"Vote Kelly". She smiled evilly and nodded towards Murray.
"USE YOUR- heheheheheh... OKAY! Stanton? Your rebuttal?"
Stanton, as red as a tomato, took a step towards the crowd. "Hello!"
"Boooooooooooooooo!"
"Hisssssssssssssssssssss!"
"Um... I'm Stanton and-"
"We know that!"
"Your outfit sucks!"
Stanton clenched his fists. "SHUT THE HELL UP!"
The audience became silent.
"Now, you've accused me of treason, but I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm only using the Goddess. She's the key, remember?"
Whispers spread throughout the audience.
"Why are you taking so long?" a random man asked.
"Because Serena is the youngest of the four. I can use that to my advantage. If I were to strike now, there's still a chance that her friends may interfere. But if they've all turned seventeen, there's nothing they can do. We'll be unstoppable".
The audience silenced and Kelly cursed.
"But why don't you get her friends out of the way now then?" another voice asked.
"Do you really think that would be wise considering the number of objectives they've led us too, including the secret scroll? It's to our advantage to keep them around. Why? You aren't afraid of the challenge are you?" He shot Kelly an insolent smirk. "I'd check my facts if I were you". He turned to the audience. "And I'd vote for someone who has them straight".
More whispering.
Murray eyed Kelly. "Your rebuttal?"
Kelly swallowed hard and stepped forward. "Okay, that may be true... but did you know that Stanton is a masturbator?"
The audience shrieked in surprise.
Stanton gave a nervous laugh. "Wh- what?"
"Weren't you masturbating at five this morning?"
"How did you know?" Stanton gulped. "I mean-"
"SEE?"
Karyl shook his head at the now chaotic audience. "Our ruler shouldn't be chosen on grounds of masturbation".
"You're telling me", Tymmie agreed, his hands suspiciously out of sight.
"This is crazy!" Stanton cried. "So I masturbate! Like none of you do it!"
"We don't". Kelly crossed her arms. "You do. And that makes you a sick immortal being. Do we want a sick immortal being on our throne?"
"NO!"
"Then what are we gonna do?"
"USE OUR COMMON SENSE! ELIMINATE THE PRINCE!"
"IS THIS JUSTICE?" Stanton bellowed.
"We're evil!"
"We don't do justice!"
Falling to the ground, Stanton lay his palms face down on the stage. Karyl realized that he was drawing something.
Tymmie rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, Karyl. He's trying to make another one of those stupid-"
BOOM!
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"