A/N: Hey guys, sorry this took so long to get out. It's about 2500 words, but I'm still kind of disappointed with it. I'm not sure why. Anyway, I didn't mean to drag out Stuart and Sadie's deaths this much, but I'm a really wordy person and there are several loose ends I need to tie up. I know a lot of you are wondering why Jude won't let Tommy comfort her, and that's going to come in the next chapter I think. Thanks for sticking with me and reading and reviewing! I'd reply to the reviews from the last chapter, but I'm dead on my feet...er, bottom, lol. I really do appreicate them, though, so special thanks to everyone that takes the time to do that for me.

xx

Chapter 9

"Oh, crap, I'm so sorry--I soaked your shirt." I said a few minutes later, completely embarrassed as I looked at the wet spot on Mitch's red t-shirt. "It seems I'm always apologizing to you for something, huh?"

Mitch provided a smile, although his face was still obviously strained with tension. "Don't worry about it; I always have gorgeous rockstars cry on my shoulder." He teased, on arm still cradling me.

"Still, I feel really bad about it..." I responded, blushing slightly at him calling me a 'gorgeous rockstar.'

"It'll dry." Mitch shrugged. Noticing the slightly worried look on my face, he continued in a more serious tone. "Look, Jude, I really don't mind. You looked like you really needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was more than happy to offer you mine." He titled my head up with a finger. "Ok? And if you want to talk about anything..."

I nodded, wondering at the compassion and understanding I found in this man I barely knew. I finally noticed the flowers Mitch had, which he was holding in the hand that wasn't around me.

"Who are those for?" I asked, instantly regretting my question as I noticed his face darken slightly. I'm such an idiot--we were in a hospital, for goodness sake. Obviously someone he knew was here being treated for something. Why do I always say the dumbest things at the absolute worst times?

"A friend." He answered, clearly not wanting to talk about it. "She was in an accident earlier."

I didn't ask for more details, knowing that pushing someone was the very worst thing you could do. He still hadn't asked about my troubles, so I'd do the same favor for him. Maybe one day soon we'd both be able to share the real reason we were here.

Looking down the hall, I noticed Tommy standing down there, frozen to his spot as he stared at me. Or rather, me still in Mitch's embrace. The last thing I needed at the moment was an over-protective Tommy causing chaos.

"I've gotta go." I stated quietly, keeping an eye on Tommy in case he moved an closer. "Thanks again, Mitch--for everything."

He gave me a quick squeeze before answering. "Anytime, Jude."

We separated and he made a move to walk away. "Hey," I called out, causing him to turn back to me.

"Yeah?" He replied, a questioning look arranged on his features.

"Give me a call in a couple days, would you?" I asked, knowing instantly that I really wanted to see him again, if just to talk.

"I was already planning to, actually." Mitch responded, and I believed his answer.

"Oh. Good."

He smiled again. "See you around, Harrison." With that he turned back around and walked away, undoubtedly to deliver the flowers to someone behind one of the many doors in the building.

"I hope so..." I whispered to myself, watching him walk away. Right before he disappeared around the corner, Mitch looked back and caught me staring at him. I blushed again, although he was too far away to see it, which was probably a good thing. He flash me another smile, and I gave him one of mine in return. Then, he was gone.

I turned around and made my way to Tommy, who was still standing there holding the coffees with a sour look on his face. Guessing, I took a cup ad gulped down a sip, relieved when I realized I had chosen correctly.

"Jude." Tommy said in a neutral tone, watching me.

"Hmm." I replied, not meeting his gaze.

"What was that about? You and Mitch?" He asked, letting a hint of unease into his voice, and maybe some anger, too--or was that just my imagination?

"Nothing, really." I answered with a shrug.

"Jude." Tommy said pointedly, knowing I wasn't being completely truthful.

I let out a frustrated sigh. "What, Tommy? I was upset, ok? And he was there..." I trailed off, knowing exactly what Tommy's response was going to be.

Tommy's voice was laced with ire and more than a little bit of hurt. "He was there? Jude, I've been in that room with you for the past couple of hours, doing nothing but being there for you, not to mention last night. Why'd you open up for him when you wouldn't for me?"

"I just...did. And I didn't open up to him; I just made a big wet spot on his shirt." That was true. I hadn't told Mitch anything about what had happened to me.

"I don't believe that, not for a second. Now seriously, Jude, tell me why you couldn't cry on my shoulder. There has to be a reason." Tommy almost shouted in my face. Looking down, I noticed the styrofoam cup beginning to shake in my hand. I'd had my emotions under control--and now I was starting to unravel again.

"Just stop, Tommy--stop interrogating me! I don't know, ok? I just don't know. I feel like I don't know anything anymore." I whimpered the last part in a defeated voice, feeling helpless because it was true. I didn'tknow anything anymore. The world as I knew it was completely gone, forever. I had to start over, but without the support of my family behind me this time. It was like trying to navigate the Colorado River with a paddle, or driving with your eyes closed.

"Jude..." Tommy began, but I cut him off. God, how many different ways could that man say my name? It was really starting to get on my nerves, the way he could convey so much simply by saying my name.

"Don't. Now's not the time for this; I don't know when the time will be, but it's definitely not now, so just leave it alone." I interrupted wearily. If I didn't have this coffee in my hand, I surely would've collapsed not from physical exhaustion, but from emotional. Turmoil in your head always translated to your body, though, so I guess it's all the same.

"I'm sorry." He tried, but I shook my head at him and held my hand up in a gesture telling him to stop.

"Did you not just hear a single word I said, Tommy? Not now." I snapped at him, not knowing what really caused the break in my control. There were too many contributing factors for it to have been just one, I decided. "I need to make some phone calls. Why don't you go back to the hotel and get some sleep?"

Now it was his turn to shake his head. "I'm not leaving you here alone, Jude. Besides, I drove you--how will you get to the hotel?"

"I'll take a cab and probably go pick up my car." He still looked skeptical. "Seriously, Tommy, go back to the hotel. You're exhausted." Tommy tried to deny this, but I knew the truth. "You are, don't try convincing me otherwise. Look, I appreciate all you've done for me, really I do, but this is for me to deal with. I'll be there in a little while, ok? Everyone's probably worried, so you can tell them what happened."

"Jude, I'm not leaving you here. And I called Kwest and Darius while you were, um, sleeping. They know what happened, and I'm sure they told the other necessary people that needed to know. So there's no reason for me not to be here with you." Tommy asserted, thinking his reasoning was foolproof. But I knew his weakness.

"Please, Tommy, just go." I pleaded, but noting his adamant face, I added the kicker. "For me?"

His face immediately softened. "If you really want me to go, I will, Jude."

"I do." I said, nodding.

"Ok." He replied, still hesitating. "I'll be back soon, though, not more than a couple of hours. Do you want me to bring you something? I don't think you've eaten since last night, you have to be starving."

"Nah, I'm ok." I had a feeling that anything I ate would come right back up. It'd be better if I just waited a while.

"Are you sure? Not even a junior bacon cheeseburger with no pickle?" Tommy asked, and I was pleased by the fact that he still remembered my favorite fast food. Still, I shook my head. Not even that would stay down, I was sure.

"Ok, then." Tommy said, sounding slightly defeated. Did he actually want to take care of me? "But if you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call. I'd be here in a second."

"I know." I said softly. Tommy really would in fact come to me at the drop of a hat if I called him. I knew stop signs and red lights would mean nothing if I needed him.

He stepped forward, enclosing me in his arms. I leaned into him, appreciating the comfort and strength he provided. "God, you are so strong..." Tommy muttered into my hair. A shiver went up my spine as his warm breath hit my scalp. In the back of my mind, I realized I could stay like this forever.

Tommy left, and now I truly was alone. The shock had worn off somewhat, albeit minimally. During those two hours I had spent with Tommy in the room after Mr. Donovan had left, I had frozen my heart in place, vowing to unfreeze it and finally let loose all of my emotions at a later time. For now, though, I didn't have time to grieve. There was too much to be done, and it all had to be done by me.

I crumped the now empty white cup in my hand and tossed it in a nearby trash can. I began my search for a phone since I knew the battery for my cell would be long dead by now. As I was still wandering around, an intern came up to me.

"Jude Harrison?" She asked, looking slightly nervous, but because of my fame or something else I didn't know.

"Yes?" I replied, wondering what I was up against now.

"I'm Dr. Grear, and I'd like to talk to you about organ donation."

Once again, it felt like I had been slapped in the face. Except by now, the side of my face was already numb so I didn't really feel it anymore.

"Ok..." I finally responded, not knowing what I was supposed to say. Whose organ's did she want, anyway? My father's or Sadie's?

"If you would follow me in here so we can have some privacy." She said, gesturing to an empty conference room a little ways down the hallway.

x.xxx.x

About half an hour later, I passed over three consent forms to Dr. Grear, now displaying my fresh signature. Somewhere deep inside, I was stunned. Had I really just given away parts of Sadie's body?

How could I do that, really? It was her body, not mine. And I know she couldn't decide for herself, but it still felt like I was giving away something that wasn't mine to give.

After thinking for a few minutes, though, I realized I had made the right decision. Sadie, for all of her appearances, was one of the kindest people at heart that I knew. I remember when I was eight and she was ten; we were at the mall a few weeks after Christmas. Each of us still had the money we had received as gifts, and that day we were supposed to spend it on whatever we wanted. Both of us had received equal amounts so there wouldn't be fighting. Our parents put most of it in a savings account for us, but we were left with thirty dollars to spend, which seemed like a million.

On the way into the mall, there was a man in front of the door collecting money for charity, although he wasn't wearing a big red Santa suit like we would've seen a few weeks ago. I don't remember what organization he was collecting for. What I remember is Sadie opening up the little pouch that held her money, and pulling out the twenty dollar bill. Without the slightest hint of hesitation or regret, she folded the bill up and stuffed it into the little opening of the container the man was holding. He graciously thanked her, and then we went into the building.

I remember watching her, then looking at my mother's face. Victoria was shocked, to say the least, but there was also pride visible on her face because of what her eldest daughter had just done. All the time, people who had plenty to spare bypassed charity collections, and here a ten-year-old had just given away two-thirds of her money.

That wasn't the end of it, though. Later on, when all of us were hungry, Sadie treated the three of us to lunch at the food court with her remaining ten dollars. Our mom tried to convince her to spend the money on herself, but Sadie adamantly refused. As we were finishing our lunch--which was McDonald's, since you don't grow sick of it for at least a couple more years--Victoria asked Sadie why she had donated her money and bought us lunch instead of spending it on herself.

Without even thinking about it, Sadie replied, "Because I got everything I wanted at Christmas. Why would I need more?"

As she grew older, things changed, of course, but I never failed to notice how often Sadie gave money to a charity when she dragged me out shopping with her. Eventually, I followed her example and dropped money in the collection buckets all the time as well.

Dr. Grear said something that brought me out of my reverie, but I still didn't catch what she said. I didn't think much more needed to be said. Stuart had been gone too long for his organs to be useful anymore, and I had just donated all--and I mean all--of Sadie's organs that you could. Heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, pancreas, gall bladder, eyes, even her skin...

Some people may have been disgusted, but if it could help save someone else's life, I knew Sadie would have wanted it. Obviously Sadie wouldn't be the beauty queen she was once they were done, but that didn't matter. On a random day a while ago we had discussed our deaths and how we wanted them handled; she wanted to be cremated. Sadie also wanted her ashes to be scattered off a cliff in Italy into the ocean.

I intended to fulfill her request.

But first, I needed to do several things, including make arrangements to have Sadie taken off life support so her organs could be harvested and arrange to have my father's body flown back to Toronto for a funeral.

I left Dr. Grear in the room and finally found a found. After searching through the phonebook, I inserted a quarter I found in my pocket and dialed the unfamiliar number.

An older man answered the phone. "Grabler Investigations, Dave speaking."

"Hi, I'd like to inquire about hiring someone to find my mother..."