Calvin and Hobbes THE MOVIE
The Pez Dispenser and The Reign Of Terror
Chapter 1
The Origins Of The Pez 6000
It was a normal day as ever in the Calvin household.
Well, as normal as you could call it, I suppose.
Hobbes was perfectly happy to just lounge on the bed, reading the latest issue of Captain Napalm, totally unaware that within five seconds, his greatest nightmare, which he hoped never to live through again, would come alive.
The bedroom door swung open, and Calvin strolled into the room. He then said the words that struck terror into Hobbes' heart the split second he said them.
"Hey, Hobbes, want to see my new invention?"
With amazing reflexes and unique tiger agility, Hobbes tried to jump out of the window as fast as he could, but Calvin caught him by the tail.
"Geez, TRUST me for once, will ya!" said Calvin, dragging Hobbes back into the room. "What do you think it will do; KILL you?" Calvin continued, annoyed.
"I totally and completely refuse to be a guinea-pig for any of your death-traps that you loosely term 'inventions'." snapped Hobbes, crossing his arms and shooting a sharp look at Calvin.
"Honestly Hobbes," Calvin sighed, shaking his head. "I swear I will never understand you. You and I both know that my inventions are for our benefit and well-being!"
Hobbes rolled his eyes, as unpleasant memories of the Time Machine and Transmogrifier flooded into his mind.
"Especially this one," Calvin continued, suddenly turning around and holding a candy dispenser. Meet the Pez 6000 – Plastic Empowered Zapper!"
Hobbes flinched repeatedly as Calvin held the Pez dispenser before him.
"Getthatthingoutofmyfacegetthatthingoutofmyfacegetthatthingoutofmyface," Hobbes said as fast as possible, stepping backwards.
"I'll repeat again," Calvin said sternly. "This device is for our benefit and well-being!"
"What's that?" asked Hobbes, still stepping backwards. "Kills you in only half the time of the MTM?
Calvin lost his patience, finally.
"FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, GET A GRIP! I haven't even told you what it does yet! It's a weapon—"
Calvin was cut off by Hobbes diving under the bed. Calvin ignored him, and continued.
"It's a formidable weapon capable of matching that of the Hiroshima Bomb if used correctly. It doesn't require nuclear power, it doesn't require batteries, and – best of all in my opinion – its ammunition is Pez candy. You can also alter the power of the shot. There's a small dial on the side, which goes from 'Peashooter' to 'Hiroshima Bomb'. Allow me to demonstrate."
Hobbes peeked out from under the bed, and saw Calvin open the window. Calvin switched the dial on the Pez 6000 to 'PP7 Pistol', and shot a can (which he set up earlier) off the top of the fence.
"See?" Calvin said, kneeling down and peeking under the bed. "Not SO bad, is it? But you haven't seen anything yet!"
Hobbes retreated further under the bed, while Calvin set power dial to 'rapid-fire machine gun', and proceeded to reduce Susie's toys (which she had left outside while she went in for lunch) to tiny pieces of plastic and rubber.
Calvin rolled on the floor laughing as hard as he could. "Ha ha! Just THINK how this is going to play a vital role in our G.R.O.S.S meetings!"
Hobbes slowly dragged himself out fro under the bed. "I guuuuueeeees soooooooooo," he said warily. "Just one thing – we don't have any enemies! What are we going to use it for?"
20 minutes later…
"Ooooohhh boy," Hobbes sighed. Calvin and Hobbes were in the drugstore, and Calvin was trying to threaten the cashier with the Pez 6000 while Hobbes was trying to steal twenty issues of Captain Maim.
Or, by the cashier's perspective, a six-year-old with a stuffed tiger was holding a candy dispenser in front of his face. The cashier picked up a phone.
"Security, could you please come down here?"
Another 20 minutes later, Calvin was sent back home by the police, and Calvin was sent to bed without any dinner. Of course, Hobbes had to put up with Calvin's moaning for a while, but eventually they dropped off to sleep.
Totally unaware of the life-threatening danger they would face tomorrow.