Chapter 2

Well, Did You EXPECT It To Go OK?

Calvin awoke the next morning…at 4:30 AM. He simply couldn't wait to test the Pez 6000 out on something. So he climbed out of bed, and headed for the attic. He was going to make some modifications to the device, for added safety.

Three quarters of an hours' worth of screwdriving, welding, and fixing later…

"Phew," Calvin puffed. "It's complete! This 'pilot' button will help a lot! I'll test it in the morning." Calvin put the Pez 6000 in an old box of photos albums in the corner, and went back to his room for sleep.

Morning came surprisingly quickly. Then again, it always does on a school morning, doesn't it?

Calvin nudged Hobbes repeatedly. "C'mon, Hobbes, wake up! I've made improvements on the Pez 6000!"

Hobbes pulled the covers further over his head, and mumbled, " CD players swimming in an ocean of gravy…Zzzzzz…with tree trunks…snort Zzzzz,"

Calvin scowled, got out of bed, and got dressed. He went up to the attic, and got the Pez 6000 from the box. He then went outside to test out 'pilot' mode.

Calvin placed the Pez 6000 on the ground and set it to 'peashooter' mode. Then Calvin stepped back about eight feet away. Suddenly, as if by magic, the device whizzed through the air, doing loop-the-loops and graceful downward spirals, firing small pieces of candy all the while.

"WHOOPEE!" Calvin screamed. "IT WORKS! IT WORKS!"

Meanwhile, back in the house, Hobbes heard the noise, and woke up. He ran to the window, and when he saw an unmanned flying candy dispenser firing candy ammo, he nearly fainted. Hobbes rushed outside to talk to Calvin.

"Calvin! How's it…doing that! How's it…FLYING?"

Calvin turned his head around, and said, grinning, "You know how I said I made some modifications to the Pez 6000?"

"Yeeeeeessss," Hobbes replied, motioning Calvin to say more.

"Well, I duplicated the microchip that is inside the Transmogrifier Gun that reads brainwaves, and I put it in the Pez 6000! I'm currently sending brainwaves telling it to fly. So if we're ever stuck anywhere, and we need it, we can just call it to us! Clever, huh?"

"Still a potential death-trap," Hobbes replied quickly, not taking his eyes off the candy dispenser.

Calvin slapped a hand to his forehead. "What more do you want me to do, fit it with an airbag!"

The Pez 6000 started flying erratically. In stead of doing well-timed loop-the-loops, it was now zig-zagging like a drunken bee.

"Why's it doing that?" asked Hobbes, pointing at the Pez 6000, now struggling somewhat.

"It's probably because you're annoying me and scrambling up my brainwaves!" Calvin replied in an annoyed tone.

Hobbes ability to take advantage of whatever Calvin says just kicked in.

"You're brainwaves are ALWAYS scrambled!" Hobbes laughed.

The retort portion of Calvin's brain also kicked in. "HA! You just insulted yourself! Humans are smarter than tigers!" Calvin grabbed Hobbes' leg, trying to trip him over.

"Compared to you, I'm Einstein! Leggo my leg!" Hobbes shouted. The wreck was on.

The duo spent a good five minutes fighting. They rolled, punched, kicked, clawed (Hobbes exclusive), and generally fought.

Calvin was covered in dirt. "That…puff…does it! I'm gonna knock…pant…you into next week!"

Hobbes wasn't much better, either. He, too, was covered in mud, but at least he noticed something rather important.

"Uh, Calvin? Did you telepathically tell the Pez 6000 to set to 'rapid-fire machine gun' mode?"

"No," replied Calvin. Calvin turned around to see the Pez 6000 hovering one inch in front of his face. Indeed, it was on 'rapid-fire machine gun' mode.

"Even if it shoots you, it can't hurt." Said Hobbes. "It's only candy."

"Uhhhh…the firing mechanism is so powerful that it's at least twice as strong as a real bullet." Calvin replied, not taking his eyes of the candy dispenser.

Calvin tried to use all the strength of his brainwaves to push away the Pez 6000, but it wouldn't budge.

It took Calvin and Hobbes a few seconds to put two and two together.

"RUN!" Calvin screamed. The duo retreated into the house as fast as possible. The Pez 6000 closely followed, firing three clips' worth of ammo. Thankfully for our heroes, not one bullet shot them.

Once inside the house, Calvin and Hobbes propped up a coat hanger and a chair against the door. The Pez 6000 was giving up despite that barrier, though, as it was now firing bullets to make a hole in the door to get through.

"That's it!" shouted Hobbes. The duo were in the hallway leading to the front door. ""It's only for our benefit and well-being!" YOU said! That's the last time I'll trust you as long as I live!"

"Forget that!" screamed Calvin. "There's a deranged killer out there! We need a plan…and FAST."