Disclaimer: I don't own.

Warning: Mild language

AN: Okay, we finally find out what's wrong with Jackie! I did research it and and was as accurate as possible, but of course it's way oversimplified here. The symptoms she's demonstrated are real, but maybe a bit dramatized for the sake of the story. So I tried to be as realistic as I possibly could while not getting too deep into the medical aspect of it.As always, thanks so much for reading and the reviews!

Convincing

Chapter 7 – I Want You to Live

Jackie sat stiffly in her chair and stared dumbly at Dr. Spandley. Another doctor sat next to him, a neurologist named Dr. Maconi, she thought he'd told her. Of course, she wasn't entirely sure. The minute she and Steven sat down, and she'd seen the look on Dr. Spandley's face, she'd known her fears had been right. And little after that had made much of an impression on her, until now. Until he told her that she had a brain aneurysm…whatever that was. He'd explained it at the last appointment, but she didn't remember anything about it. She couldn't move; she couldn't feel; she couldn't think. It was like the world was spinning so fast around her that she was forced completely still. She thought she heard Steven asking the doctor to explain aneurysm again, but she wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was in her head.

It wouldn't be the only thing, apparently.

"An aneurysm is a weak and bulging area on the wall of an artery. Like a thin balloon. Most of these form in the front of the brain, like yours, and they form without warning, usually from wear and tear on the artery. However, they can also form as the result of trauma or illness."

Hyde sat next to Jackie, holding her hand. Her hand was so cold, and he rubbed it, trying to warm it up. "So…wait." Trauma? She'd had a bad concussion after the car accident. "Did…did this happen because of her car accident?" he asked. God. If so…then this was his fault, too.

Dr. Maconi chimed in. "Well, it's hard to say for sure, but we believe it certainly contributed, given the fact that Jackie is so young and has no family history of aneurysm."

Hyde stared at him. Certainly contributed. Damn doctor double talk. Why couldn't he just say yes or no? Guilt began to claw at his stomach again. First she'd almost died in the accident, now she had some balloon like…thing in her brain…all because of him and those crappy words he'd said to her. Crappy words he hadn't even meant.

Her fingers moved under his hand, and he looked at her. She slowly turned her head to his, and he had never seen her look so helpless. Her mouth opened, like she wanted to speak, but no words came out. Instead, her lips just trembled. He pursed his lips…damn, he didn't know what to do. And so he just looked at her and held her hand tighter in his.

"The good news is that it's unruptured. This makes treatment much easier and recovery time a lot less. However…"

Both Hyde and Jackie immediately turned back towards the doctors when Dr. Spandley said "however".

"The size troubles us. It's fairly large, and since you've been symptomatic, the chances of it rupturing are much greater than we would feel comfortable leaving untreated."

Jackie released a slight gasp, and Hyde looked at her again. This time, her entire body was trembling, and he let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her and her chair as close to him as he could, and her free hand gripped his thigh. "So what does that mean? I mean…what do we do now?" he asked, looking back and forth between the doctors. "And shouldn't we get a second opinion?"

"You're free to do so, of course, but you should know that the entire neurology department has looked at the scan, and we all agree," Dr. Manconi said patiently. "And time is of the essence here. I don't want to scare you, Jackie, but I'm very concerned that the aneurysm is on the verge of rupturing. If it does, you're at risk of brain damage, coma, paralysis…and death." He sighed. "We need to treat it. With surgery. And as soon as possible."

"Surgery?" Hyde's voice cracked to his chagrin, but then again, right now maybe he shouldn't give a damn. In fact, he really didn't. "On her…on her head? Isn't there any other way?"

Jackie closed her eyes. Why couldn't she breathe? Why did it feel like her chest was being crushed by some huge, runaway, out of control train?

Death. You're going to die. You're never going to get married or have kids or be on television or star in the Ice Capades or meet Donny Osmond or…anything.

She had to find some way to breathe. Or was she already dead? Had the thing in her brain just burst and killed her? Was that why she couldn't get air to her lungs? Was that why she couldn't feel any part of her body?

But then why could she still see? She could see the doctors in front of her, talking and looking at her. Something about surgery, clipping the aneurysm, the risks of having the surgery, the risks of not having it, she needed to decide, they recommended strongly that she have the surgery.

She flipped her head to the right, and there was Steven, his face tense and almost puzzled as he watched the doctors. Her mouth opened. "Steven." She prayed that he heard her, because her voice sounded so tiny and quiet to her ears.

He turned to her. She was pale, ghostly pale, and shaking harder, all over. And she was gasping. "Jackie, take it easy," he said, not quite knowing what else to do. "Breathe." She just looked at him, stricken like she was caught from behind by the grim reaper. Instinctively he leaned forward and kissed her, breathing into her and hoping to God that somehow, it would calm her down. At least a little. It seemed to work, because when he pulled back, he noticed that her chest was rising more slowly, more controlled. "You okay?"

She nodded and stared into his eyes. God, he made her feel safe. Even when she wasn't. Even when he really couldn't protect her. Still. "Yeah," she breathed softly. "Just…" Her left arm curled up to her shoulder and her fingertips brushed his hand. "Just don't let go." She took a shallow breath and managed to pull herself together, sort of. And she turned back to the doctors. "I…I'm sorry."

Dr. Spandley smiled understandingly. "Its okay, Jackie. I know it's a shock. And I want to do whatever I can to make it easier for you."

"Can you…can you tell me all of that again? I mean, about the surgery?"

Hyde watched her as the doctors again explained the surgery, the risks, the risks of not having it at all, and he began to feel angry. These doctors were saying that she had to have her head cut open. Her HEAD cut open! And they were saying it like it was the most natural, understandable thing in the world.

It wasn't. Not to him.

"Wait a second," he said, interrupting the doctor without thinking. He glared at the doctor and sat up straight. "Are you sure this is the only way to treat this? And not just a way for you to pad your pockets?" The doctors looked at him incredulously. "Yeah, see, I know how it works. You tell people they have no other choice but to have surgery, scare 'em into believing it, then charge them thousands of dollars for it. The more serious the surgery, the more money you charge. I bet brain surgery is the most profitable, huh?"

Jackie glared at him. "Steven!"

He glared back. "What? Look, I'm sorry if I don't want to just let them cut your head open without question."

Her heart melted, and for the moment, everything else was forgotten. He wanted to protect her! He didn't want to LET them cut her open! "Oh, Steven, that's so…"

Hyde gave her a warning look. "Shut it, Jackie."

"Look, Steven," interrupted Dr. Maconi.

Hyde winced. He didn't like people calling him Steven. Unless they were Mrs. Forman or Jackie.

"I assume you want Jackie to live."

Hyde glared at him. "Of course I do! Don't try to scare me with that crap." He felt Jackie's eyes on him, but stubbornly refused to look at her. "I just want to make sure that there's no other way. Man, if there is, you need to tell us."

Dr. Maconi nodded, and his expression was grave. His voice lowered and he spoke deliberately. "She. Needs. This. Surgery."

Hyde closed his eyes and swallowed over and over again. He heard Jackie whimpering, but he couldn't look at her. And he couldn't keep touching her. He took his hand off her shoulder, then pulled his arm out from around her.

Damn it. His chick. His pretty little dollface. Now they had to cut her head open and mess around with her brain…all because of what HE had said to her.

His guilt became a machete, ripping him from the inside out. His eyes opened and he stared at his hands resting on his legs. He was almost surprised to see that none of his skin was torn open and bleeding.

"Steven?" Jackie repeated, this time in a broken whisper. She needed him to look at her, needed him to respond to her. He'd taken his touch away, he'd taken his eyes away; and she felt a frigid chill of fright all over her body. Was he already starting to leave her? Was it just too much? Was she going to have to somehow find strength she didn't have to get through this? "Steven, what should I do?"

He almost laughed. You should give up on me. All I ever do…all I WILL ever do…is hurt you. Even though I…god, I really love you, however the hell that happened. But now you have to have surgery…because of me.

"Steven?"

"I want you to live, Jackie," he whispered hoarsely, still not looking at her, now staring at the floor. "I just…" He took a deep breath, then lifted his head and looked at her. His chick. His pretty little dollface. "I…I think you should have the surgery. If it's…if it's the only…way."

Jackie sucked in a shallow breath, and the room was spinning once more. So many feelings rushed through her, in all different directions. She felt his hand on top of hers again, saw him trying to smile at her, just a little bit and strained, heard him repeat himself to her again. And despite the fear that was growing into almost a second person inside of herself, she felt strong enough to make the choice she had to. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready to die.

And so she turned to the doctors, clutching Steven's hand tightly. "I…I'll have the…the surgery."

An hour later, the parking lot of the hospital

Jackie and Hyde sat in the El Camino in silence. All the arrangements had been made; Jackie would go into the hospital on Friday morning, three days away, and that afternoon would have the surgery.

And both of them felt about two hundred pounds heavier than they had just that morning.

Finally, Hyde looked over at her. "So, uh…you…" Why did he feel so damn uncomfortable? Oh yeah. That's right. Because Jackie was going to have brain surgery in three days. "You wanna go to the mall or something?"

It was stupid. Trivial. And something he utterly detested. The damn mall. But it was the only thing he could think of. What exactly were you supposed to do after scheduling brain surgery for your girlfriend?

Jackie smiled weakly at him. The fact that he'd just offered to take her to the mall meant so much to her, and someday soon she'd tell him that. But right now, she needed to just be at home. Alone. Just to try to get her bearings, somehow. "No, that's okay," she answered. "I just…actually, can you just take me home? I…I just kind of want to be alone right now." He stared at her, and she hurried to continue. "Just for a little while."

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea, Jackie," he said. And he didn't. It left a sick feeling in his stomach. He supposed that was what worry felt like.

"No, really, Steven. I just…I want to take a long bubble bath, maybe listen to some Donny Osmond or ABBA." She shrugged. "Maybe both. I know you hate them, so…"

His lips curved upwards. "Hey, I could put up with a little ABBA if I got to watch you take a bubble bath."

She giggled, but it lasted only a few seconds. The couple stared at one another for a long moment.

"Just for a little while, Steven."

The quiet, sweet plea in her voice brought that sick feeling in his stomach up to his heart, and he nodded reluctantly, even though he wanted to fight her. "Fine. But I want you to call me in a couple hours, okay?"

She smiled gratefully and reached out to stroke his thigh. "Okay. I will. And…thank you."

Ten minutes later, they stood in front of Jackie's apartment door. Hyde sighed heavily as he looked down at her, and before he could stop himself, he pulled her into a tight hug. Maybe too tight; he heard and felt her gasp. But then again, she was holding onto him just as tightly.

Never too tight. Never too close. Not now. Not anymore.

He closed his eyes and inhaled her sweetness, savored the softness of her body, the determination of the hold she had on him. He turned his head and brushed his lips softly, feather-lightly over her ear. To hell with all his pride and all his Zen. This was his chick. And she need to know, to hear it. "I love you, dollface," he said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

The warmth of his breath and the restrained but palpable passion of his words made Jackie shiver. "Oh Steven," she whispered, her eyes misting with tears while she pressed her body into his. But she drew back and looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Puddin' Pop."

They kissed slowly and sweetly, their lips coupling languidly, their tongues tenderly touching almost chastely.

And neither of them wanted it to ever end.