Disclaimer: If I owned them, life would be much more fun.

Warning: Some language

AN: This was a hard one for me to get out for some reason. Boy, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!I couldn't stop grinning. Hope you enjoy this one...Just remember, I love happy endings! And thanks to everyone...you're all so supportive!

Convincing

Chapter 8 – Lie to Me!

An insistent knocking stirred Jackie out of her sleep, and she groggily lifted her head from the couch. She stared at the door in confusion, and then recognized Steven's voice coming from the other side of the apartment door.

"Jackie!"

She groaned. Her body ached, and she didn't want to get up. She wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep was good. So very, very good.

"Jackie, damn it, I know you're in there!"

She whimpered and reluctantly rolled off the couch. Steven sounded angry, and while the thought of him kicking the door in just to get to her was quite appealing, she knew her quirky landlord (and Fez) probably wouldn't appreciate it. She stumbled to the door and quickly unlocked and opened it. "Hi," she said, gazing sleepily up at her scowling boyfriend.

Hyde stared at her as he breathed fully for the first time in three hours. She looked rumpled, and her eyes were glossy and slightly puffy, obviously from sleep. Better not mention that. He knew from experience that Jackie didn't like having flaws pointed out to her. "You, uh…" He took a deep breath. God. This girl made him so incredibly stupid he'd almost panicked after those hours with no phone call. "You didn't call." He'd waited around the basement, and when she never called, all he could think was that the aneurysm had ruptured and she was lying in her bathtub unconscious or something. Idiot doctors and their scare tactics.

And damn it, they worked.

"I'm sorry," she replied, reaching for his hands and pulling him into the apartment. He pushed the door closed behind him, and she put her hands on his chest. "After my bath I feel asleep on the couch." Her hands slipped around his waist and she pressed herself up against him. "Aww, Puddin' Pop, were you worried?"

He started to protest but changed his mind. Instead of saying anything, he leaned down and kissed her softly, allowing his lips to linger just a few moments longer than he normally would in a non-make out kiss. When it broke, she looked up at him with that satisfied, I've-got-you-just-where-I-want-you look, and he rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched upwards. At least, and in spite of everything, she was still Jackie. God. He'd never actually thought he'd be thankful for that, but he was.

They moved to the couch and sat down together. She scooted close to him; he put his arm around her shoulders and watched her as she traced circles with her index finger on his leg. She looked pale and exhausted, but he didn't see any traces of her crying. And as weird and almost mean as it seemed, that disturbed him. She was a crier. A big time crier. "So…you okay?" he asked uncertainly. His stomach twisted; he shouldn't have asked. Because if she wanted him to comfort her, he didn't know how the hell he was going to do it.

But he asked. He wanted to know. He needed to know.

How had this happened to him?

Jackie tried to force a bright and convincing smile. "I'm fine, Steven," she chirped, her voice sounding fake even to herself. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and her eyes became trapped in his. And for some reason, all of that feeling deep inside of her, the stuff she'd drowned out during her bath with "Puppy Love" and "Dancing Queen", it all burst up to her throat. Something in his eyes that he always tried to hide broke her pride, gave her the permission she'd denied herself for the past few hours. She collapsed into him and burst into tears, tearing sobs that almost immediately became violent.

Hyde slowly put his arms around her and held her. He closed his eyes and tried to swallow away the lump in his throat. This was probably the point where he should say something. Something nice and comforting and reassuring. Something that would stop her from crying this way. Because he hated it when she cried this way. He felt all…edgy when she did. But he couldn't. In fact, his mind had never felt as void of thought as it did right now.

Jackie just wants you there with her, Mrs. Forman had told him. Well, he was there, with her. Maybe it was enough. It had to be, because he had nothing else.

She pulled away, and Hyde's heart sank. Her eyes flooded over and the tears streamed down her cheeks like rivers heading for an ocean home. Her chest heaved with continuing sobs, and a slight gasping sound pierced the tight line of her lips. He'd never seen her face, her pride and joy, twisted this way, ugly with pain and fear.

"It's going to be okay, isn't it, Steven?" Jackie whimpered, her voiced broken and throaty and ugly and raw. Exactly how she felt inside. Shredded and bleeding. She gripped his shoulders. "The surgery…it's gonna fix this and I'll be okay…everything will be fine…right?"

He stared at her. Fine? Okay? Fixed? Not with his luck. No, with his luck, the surgery would end up…his eyes squeezed closed. No. Damn it. Don't even think it.

Ha. Easier said than done.

She'll probably die. The surgery will probably kill her. Those asinine doctors will probably screw up and kill her. That's my luck.

How in the hell could he tell her that it was going to be okay when he didn't know…when he didn't even really BELIEVE that it was going to be okay? Because if he told her, if he did all he could to convince her, he'd want to believe it. He'd want to be convinced. And then when something happened to her, the way deep down he was sure it would, he'd have nothing left except for the memory of how he'd lied to her.

He'd done that before. Couldn't do it again.

Jackie kept her eyes on him, although she could hardly see him through the tears. He wasn't speaking, just looking at her, and that beat at her stomach. "Steven? I'm…I'm gonna be…okay, right?"

He didn't answer, just kept looking at her, and Jackie backed away. Her breaths became shorter and desperate; why couldn't he just tell her that she was going to be okay? Why couldn't he just take her back in his arms, stare down into her eyes and whisper to her that she would be fine? And that he would make sure she was fine? Because he loved her so much, he'd die before letting anything ever happen to her? "Steven…"

"Jackie, I don't know, okay?" Hyde snapped, more roughly than he really wanted to. The stricken look on her face stung him, and he sighed and looked away. His eyes closed, as if that would give him the ability to just say what she wanted to hear. But when he turned back to her and opened his eyes, those words didn't come. He just shook his head and spoke nearly under his breath. "I just…I don't know." Her eyes flashed with hurt, disappointment, and he reached to cup her face with his hands. God…he just couldn't deal with this. Obviously. "Jackie…"

She pushed him away and stood up, her body stiff with fright and anger. She glared at him so hard she could feel it in her bones, in a way she'd only felt a few other times. "Steven, just tell me that I'm going to be okay! I don't…I don't…I don't care that you don't know….JUST TELL ME!" Her voice rose to a strident, almost screeching level.

He shook his head, utterly helpless. He wanted badly to say it, to be able to say it…but he couldn't. Just like I never can. Never can, probably never will. His shoulders slumped. "How can I?" he said in a low and defeated voice. Something hot suddenly stung his eyes, and he looked away, fighting it. "I…I don't know."

She shook her head, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "You don't have to MAKE it okay for me, Steven! I don't expect you to do anything…just…can't you just…just please….LIE TO ME! Just LIE to me and tell me that it's…that I'm not gonna…that I'm gonna…" She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed.

Why couldn't he just tell her it was going to be okay? Why was it so damn hard? Why did he have to MAKE it so damn hard?

He set his jaw stubbornly. "I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie." She thought she wanted to be lied to. Hell, she really did. But why bother? Why fool her – himself – into hoping for the best when chances were only the worst was waiting for them?

She snapped her head up, her heart shredding open. His eyes were on her, but when she met them, for the first time, at least that she could remember, he looked away from her. As if he was ashamed. As if he…as if he knew he should, but just…just didn't want to. Like it was too much of a bother.

Too much of a bother. That's what I am to him.

"You…" Her voice quivered, and her body throbbed with pain. "You don't give

a damn, do you?"

Hyde gaped at her, rendered momentarily speechless. Almost without feeling it, he stood up. "What the hell?"

"You don't care about me at ALL!"

His brow furrowed. How in the hell had she come up with THIS? God! He didn't care about her at all? Shit! How could she think that? How the hell COULD she? Hadn't be BEEN there for her? Hadn't he gone with her to her doctor's appointments? Hadn't he asked those stupid bastards questions she never would have thought of? He'd gone ROLLER SKATING with her! "Jesus, Jackie…"

"NO! If you really cared, if you REALLY CARED, STEVEN, you'd lie and tell me that I'm going to be okay!"

He stepped towards her. "So, I have to lie to you in order for you to feel like I care about you? Is that how this goes?" His voice was tight and angry.

"Yes!"

"Oh my god, Jackie, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

"Well, I guess I'm just stupid, aren't I?" She tried to wipe away tears, but there were more on her cheeks and underneath her lower eyelashes almost instantly. The sobs were so strong she felt like her chest was going to explode, and she clasped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to keep them inside. She shook her head. It wasn't working.

And all she could think about was that he just didn't care.

She lifted her eyes and looked tearfully at Steven. "Stupid enough to think that you…that you actually lov…" Her voice, her soul, her heart broke, and she turned her head away. "Just leave."

Hyde took a deep breath. His hands balled into fists next to his thighs, but he managed to keep the anger off his face. But he wasn't able to ignore it, or the hurt. And he should have been able to. Hell, he'd expected this to happen, to not be enough for her and for her to realize it. Now she did. Now it was probably just a matter of time before they were over. Again. To his disgust, that thought brought him nothing but…fear. He didn't want to lose her…again.

And he was petrified that he would.

"Good idea," Hyde hissed lowly, coldly, using all his energy to banish that stupid, sissy fear.

Her head jerked back towards him and their eyes locked; heated, angry, passionate eyes that guarded two frightened souls.

Jackie's voice trembled. "Maybe you should go to Vegas or something."

He looked at her for a moment longer, his blood running cold. Ice cold with guilt. And anger that was quickly becoming rage. Leave it to Jackie to bring THAT up. Leave it to Jackie to be a petty bitch.

Andleave it to Jackie to drive him to his knees. Or at least try to. Hell, she'd succeedif he stayed here any longer.

She watched him jerkily walk away from her to the door, and when it slammed behind him, she jumped slightly. The reverberation of the door bouncing in its frame seemed to reverberate in her head; a sharp, blinding pain shot through her right temple. She released a soft yelp, reached for her head and slid to the ground. She sat just in front of the couch, and as she began to wail, she lay her head down on it, her hand still holding her agonized temple.

She cried. He'd left her. And he probably wasn't going to come back.

God, why had she brought up Vegas? Why had she made such a big deal out of him saying that she was going to be okay? So he couldn't tell her that! So he didn't want to lie to her! Wasn't that a good thing? Shouldn't she be relieved that he couldn't lie to her?

She almost inhaled the upholstery of the couch as she tried desperately to catch air.

And like so many other times before, Jackie cried her eyes out and wished she could turn back time so she could handle things with Steven differently. So differently. So that he would stay with her. So that he would love her.

So he could just hold her like he had before she'd gotten all teary.

Damn. Why did she always, always, always screw things up?