Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own.

Warning: Mild language, although less of itthan when the boys are in the chapter. :shaking head:

AN: A bit short, but I decided to split this part from the next section. Better flow, I think. Thanks so much for all the reviews and support!You guys rock!Hope you keep enjoying the story!

Convincing

Chapter 10 - He's Going to Leave Me

Donna sat on the couch in Jackie and Fez's apartment, staring alternately between the coffee table in front of her and the eerily quiet Jackie next to her. She wasn't sure what to say, or even what to think or feel. She felt numb. Jackie had just told her about her aneurysm and that she had to have surgery on Friday. Three days from now. And Donna didn't know what to do. What do you do in a situation like this? She'd already mumbled a few dozen "oh my gods".

She looked at Jackie again and frowned. In their entire friendship, Donna had never seen her like this. Her face was bare of make up and blotchy from crying, her hair was pulled into a sloppy bun, she wore a pair of rumpled sweat pants, a t-shirt and a long sleeved shirt, one of Hyde's, obviously, since it was so big on her. What was more disturbing was that Jackie didn't appear to care. She sighed closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out what the hell to say.

"Do you think I'll be okay, Donna?"

The quiver in Jackie's voice startled Donna, and she had to force herself to react. "Oh yeah, of course I do," she lied. She looked at Jackie, and Jackie gazed back at her with wide eyes. "I mean, Jackie, doctors are trained to do surgeries like this. They study for, like, ever. They know what they're doing." She paused, hoping that this crap she was pulling off the top of her head was comforting Jackie at least a little bit. "They know how to fix it, and that's what they're going to do."

Jackie smiled weakly and pulled Steven's shirt tighter around her. She recognized the tight, false smile on Donna's face. She always got that sickly look when she was lying. "Okay. Now tell me if you really think all that."

Donna chuckled and reached over to put her hand over Jackie's. "Honestly, I don't know, Jackie." She smiled sadly. "I wish I did." God. This was her best friend. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach began to open up. Eric's bad feeling had been right. Damn him for being right! He was never right! Why did he have to be right this time?

Jackie nodded and leaned her head back against the couch cushions. "Well, at least you could lie and tell me I'll be okay," she said dully. She stared at the ceiling, and tears filled her eyes again. Of course she wasn't done crying. At this point, she'd never be done crying. "Steven couldn't do that."

Couldn't just say a few words, just to make her feel better. Couldn't make the effort. Couldn't just tell one damn little lie just to take care of her.

Donna sighed and squeezed her friend's hand. "Jackie, that's just Hyde." She rolled her eyes. "He's never learned…what do you call it? Relationship courtesy?"

"He just doesn't care!"

Donna looked at her, and knew that this was not just one of Jackie's shallow little hissy fits. The tone of her voice, raw, ragged, desperately scared, was unlike anything Donna had ever heard from Jackie. "What?"

Jackie lifted her head and looked at Donna. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn't give a damn about them, or how she looked. The aching emptiness in her heart was the only thing she could even think of. "I just…I don't think he cares. He…I just wanted him to tell me that I was going to be okay…"

Donna turned sideways on the couch to face her friend, and she took both of Jackie's hands in hers. "Jackie, I know he's not good at…well, talking, but he cares about you." She shook her head. "Hell, he cried when you were in that accident. He CRIED. I think he cares."

Jackie's stomach lit with hope, but it immediately faded. "Then why couldn't he lie to me?"

Donna shrugged. Who the hell knew why Hyde did any of the things he did? Jackie usually had a pretty good read on him, oddly enough, but apparently, she had no clue in this instance. "Maybe…maybe he's just worried or something and doesn't want to…" She raised her hands questioningly. "I don't know, maybe he's just scared."

Jackie stared at Donna. "You think he's scared?" she whispered brokenly.

For a moment, Donna couldn't respond. The look in Jackie's eyes, and the tone of her voice, almost sweetly childlike, stunned her. Hyde wasn't just another boyfriend to Jackie, and Donna wasn't sure if she'd ever realized that before. She'd known that Jackie loved him and even wanted to marry him, but this was different. More intense than she'd ever thought. Jackie was dependent on him, she needed him. And yeah, she loved him, but it was clearly a kind of love she'd never known before. Weird. It reminded her of the way Hyde had watched Jackie skate. And the way he'd sneaked into Jackie's hospital room and stayed all night. The way he'd cried. A small smile crossed her lips. She'd never, ever understand the wherefores or whys of this relationship, but it worked. "Yeah, I do."

Jackie smiled wistfully, then turned to stare at the television set. It was on, but she didn't see anything, and the weak smile that held her lips collapsed. Her body trembled unsteadily, cold with fear that seemed endless. "I'm scared," she mumbled. She felt odd, hollow. Removed from her body. "I don't…I don't want to die."

Donna put her hand on Jackie's back and patted her gently. Damn. She couldn't think of anything to say. She couldn't really fathom what Jackie was feeling. Death was just so…it wasn't supposed to be something they were thinking about.

Jackie stood up and walked around the coffee table. She began to pace in front of it, breathing deep, trying to get rid of the beginning of a headache. Her temple was beginning to throb. She wanted Steven. He'd found way to rub her temple with his fingers that usually helped mute the pain.

Steven.

He's going to leave me.

Her heart caught in her chest, and she stopped moving. She looked at Donna. "He's going to leave me, Donna."

Donna frowned. "What? Jackie…"

"He is! And who could blame him?" Jackie began to cry silent tears that streaked down her cheeks as fast as her heart was suddenly beating. "They have to shave my head. I'm going to be bald. BALD, Donna!"

"Jackie…"

"And after the surgery, I have to be in the hospital for at least two weeks…maybe more…and there are all these things that could happen…" She started pacing again, wildly, her emotions spilling over and coloring her words with hysteria. "He doesn't want to deal with all that. I don't want to deal with all that! How can I expect him to?" She shook her head, and her hand covered her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she sobbed.

Donna stood up. "He's not going to leave you," she insisted. "But if he does, which he WON'T, I'll just push him off the water tower again. And this time I'll make it count." She smiled slightly, hoping that maybe she could relax her best friend, if only for the briefest of moments. It worked, because Jackie lifted her head and smiled at her, even if the smile was weak. Donna sighed and walked over to her best friend. "Don't worry about that, okay?"

Donna hugged her, and Jackie closed her eyes. Sure. It was easy for Donna to say. Don't worry about that. He won't leave, Jackie. It wasn't HER boyfriend. It wasn't HER life. It wasn't HER head that was going to be shaved and cut open.

And it wasn't Donna's gut feeling, Donna's intuition that was screaming constantly that there was no way in hell Steven would stick around for this. Especially if she kept acting like she had earlier, with the crying and the neediness and the demands that he comfort her. Steven didn't like to have things demanded of him, and of course, she had.

With the suddenness of an unexpected lightning bolt, Jackie realized that there was a way she could make him stay with her. Or at least not give him a reason to leave her. She pulled away from Donna and wiped away her tears, taking a shaky breath. "You know what? I'm not going to let him leave." She summoned her pride, shook her hair off her shoulders and stalked back to the couch, where she plopped down.

Donna smiled as Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and got that determined, stubborn look on her face. This was the old Jackie. "Oh really? And how are you going to do that? Handcuff him to you?"

Jackie raised an eyebrow. "That's not a bad idea. And Fez has handcuffs, you know." She made a face. "I don't ask why…don't think I want to know." She sighed. "No, what I'm gonna do is this. I'm not going to act scared or upset or worried or anything around Steven. I'm just gonna be my normal, beautiful, wonderful, carefree self. That way, he won't feel like he has to comfort me, and he won't feel pressured and want to leave."

Donna frowned. "So you're going to just pretend nothing is wrong?"

Jackie nodded emphatically, even though inside, she felt herself tearing inside. "Exactly."

"Hyde's not going to buy that," Donna said, moving back to the couch and sitting down next to Jackie.

"Yes, he will," Jackie retorted. "Because he wants to. See, I'll actually be doing him a favor, and he'll love me even more for it!" She tried to keep her resolve up, to start putting her plan into action, to practice being stoic. It didn't work, and she looked down as more tears began to fall. She twisted her hands together. "I just…I have to do this. I have to do whatever it takes…because I can't…" She looked at Donna. "I can't lose him again, Donna. I can't go through that again. I…" She closed her eyes. "I love him too much."

Donna was quiet as Jackie dropped her forehead to her hand. It was so unusual to see Jackie this vulnerable. Sure, Donna had seen her cry. Often. But this was different. Heavier. Much more honest. Usually Jackie did her best to hide what was really going on. "Jackie, why don't you just tell Hyde what you just told me?" she suggested quietly.

Jackie looked at her, horrified. "What? No!" Donna gave her a weird look, and she sighed. Her voice softened. "Look, the last time I put my heart on the line for him, it didn't work out so well. If I tell him…he'll think I'm pushing for a commitment and…" She leaned her head back on the couch, and again stared at the ceiling. "I just can't risk it."

Donna sighed. She'd never be able to talk Jackie out of this. And so, she rested her head on the couch cushions and gazed at Jackie. Her friend's face crumpled into tears, and Donna quickly took her hand. But Jackie didn't look over at her. She just stared at the ceiling, crying softly, straining to keep herself from losing all control of the fear she obviously felt.

And to Donna's surprise, tears filled her eyes. Before she knew it, before she could fight to stop it, she turned her eyes up to the ceiling and started to cry.

Her best friend might die. And there was nothing she could do. Nothing anyone could do. They just had to deal with it.

She just wish she knew how to.