Chapter 6

The Two Tigers and the Territorial Toy Army

"This is a pretty big place," Calvin commented as he made his way to the front of the house.

Well, it wasn't a house, it was a mansion, really.

"Let's go in quick!" said Hobbes. "Socrates should be home. We're going to need his help."

"Ooooohhhh no," said Calvin, with his arms outstretched and taking a step back. "We've already got a deranged killer kid on our butts, we don't need Dr. Prankster to keep us company."

"Who'd you rather trust; one of my friends who pranks people or a six-year-old with a Pez dispenser capable of destroying the planet and not afraid to use it?" Hobbes said, irritatedly.

"OK, OK…sheesh…" Calvin grumbled, as Hobbes rang the doorbell. Luckily for them, Socrates answered it. "Come in, Hobbes, welcome!" said Socrates cheerfully. "Sorry," said Hobbes, "I had to bring Mr. Eggnog Brain with me."

Hobbes walked inside the hallway fine, but as soon as Calvin put his foot on the inside doormat—

SHHHNAP!

"AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!" Calvin had stepped into a rope trap, had been sent flying through the house and an unclockable speed, and landed in the Olympic-sized swimming pool in the back yard.

The two tigers were laughing their heads off as Calvin surfaced from the water. He shouted, "I TOLD YOU WE HAD ENOUGH TROUBLE!"

10 minutes passed…

"…and that's all that's happened so far," Calvin finished. He had just explained to Socrates what had been going on with the duplicate and The PEZ 6,000,000.

"Now THAT'S a device I could use for pranking," Socrates said.

"This is really serious, Socrates," Hobbes said. "Even if the dupe does kill Calvin and me, he's still going to destroy the world."

Socrates looked indifferent.

"In other words," Hobbes added, "He'll kill you too."

"YIKES!" screamed Socrates. "We gotta do something!"

"That's why we've come to you," Calvin said, narrowing his eyes.

"Okay, I've got a plan. Stay here, and leave it to me." said Socrates, getting up.

"What's your plan?" asked Calvin.

"Sorry," said Socrates, winking craftily. "I like to keep my pranks secret."

5 minutes later, Socrates ran in plain view of the duplicate.

"Hey! Get back here, Hobbes!" shouted the dupe, chasing after him.

After 20 seconds of chasing, Evil Calvin fell into Socrates' trap.

The dupe got his foot caught in long length of string, which dragged him to a trampoline, which propelled him into the air, which caught him in a tree, where he walked into a rope trap, was sent flying into town, landed on another trampoline, and was sent bouncing into the river, where the current was washing him further and further away from Calvin and Hobbes. By now he could be in another state.

Socrates returned to his house. "I put the duplicate out of commission for a while. Now we've got some time. "

"I'll see what inventions I have with me," said Calvin, rummaging through his Hypercube and throwing the contents out on the floor. "Uuuhh…MTM, Mini Duplicator, Transmogrifier Gun,…that's about it."

"I think that if we take back the PEZ 6,000,000 first, we'll have an easier chance of taking down your duplicate," said Hobbes, deep in thought. "I suppose the Transmogrifier Gun could make your brainwaves stronger and get back the PEZ 6,000,000," suggested Hobbes.

"No good," replied Calvin. "The changes are only cosmetic, so it wouldn't have any effect. I've really got to fix that."

The trio thought more about their plan, when suddenly Calvin jumped up, grabbed his inventions, shoved them in the Hypercube, and ran for the front door. "C'mon, you two!" he called Socrates and Hobbes. "I've got a plan! Back to my house! We can't waste a second!"

They all bolted out the door and across the road.

"What's the plan?" asked Hobbes.

"Easy!" replied Calvin. "Remember how my duplicate said that his brainwaves are stronger than mine? We need to get to the Cerebral Enhance-O-Tron and increase my brain power! Then we can get back the PEZ 6,000,000! But we have to hurry before he gets back to the house!"

They blasted through the door, and stopped dead in their tracks.

Because a kid with yellow combed hair and a candy dispenser were waiting for them. But he didn't just have the candy dispenser.

"You honestly thought I couldn't get back here quick enough?" asked Evil Calvin, standing in the doorway with the Transmogrifier Gun in his hand. "All I had to do was transform into a light particle and zip back here instantaneously. You're not getting through this door without getting through me first!"

Calvin threw a punch at the duplicate, but was transmogrified into a brick. But while the dupe was distracted, Hobbes and Socrates slashed Evil Calvin with their claws, grabbed 'Calvin' (the brick), and took off up the stairs.

Socrates turned behind him and saw to his horror that not only was the PEZ 6,000,000 following them, but a whole load of Calvin's toys that had been transmogrified into evil minions of the duplicate, with the sole purpose of destroying Calvin and Hobbes (and Socrates, if need be).

A toy airplane swooped by Hobbes and tried to bomb him, but Hobbes grabbed it and snapped off the wings.

A toy soldier tried attacking Socrates with a toy bayonet, but Socrates ran the soldier through with his own weapon.

"Where do we go!" panicked Socrates. "These things are everywhere!"

"Into the attic!" shouted Hobbes over the burst of fire from the PEZ 6,000,000, which was now on 'Handgun' mode. They leaped into the attic and sat on the door so that nothing could get in. But that didn't stop the Toy Army trying. They could feel the thump of them gradually breaking in.

"You hold them there a moment," said Hobbes, getting up.

He headed for a box buried in the corner of the room. He opened up the box and revealed a stack of old family photos.

CRACK! The Territorial Toy Army had just cracked a hole in the attic door. "This is no time to reminiscence over old family photos!" Socrates shouted. "They're nearly in!"

Hobbes rummaged through the box of photos and pulled out a microphone, covered with dust, which read the smeared, near illegible words:

Mega-Shrinker 5000

Created by Calvin the Bold, Boy of Destiny

Hobbes plugged the jack of the microphone into a plug and the neck extended.

"Socrates," Hobbes asked, with all seriousness. "Do you trust me to use one of Calvin's inventions?"

"Not really," Socrates replied. "But I suppose it's our only hope."

With a final SMASH, the Toy Army broke through the attic door, where they were promptly shrunk to a quarter of an inch tall.

Hobbes blew the top of the Mega-Shrinker 5000 as though it were smoke from a gun.

That was when Mr. Evil Duplicate came in.

"What is all the—"

ZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEeeeeeeepp!

Evil Calvin had too been shrunk.

But even in his tiny size, the duplicate got out his Transmogrifier Gun and shrunk Socrates to the same height as him.

"YAAHH! SOCRATES!" Hobbes shrieked. "I'll save ya, buddy!"

But he couldn't. The duplicate and Socrates were now the size of dust specks, rendering them invisible to the naked eye. And even though cats have superior eyesight, Hobbes still couldn't find the two. This should give you some idea of how small they are.

That didn't stop Hobbes trying, though. He was crawling on the floor, squinting as hard as he could to find Socrates.

"Well, well, it's just you and me now, kittycat," Evil Calvin smirked, as he pulled out his Transmogrifier Gun.

ZAP!

Socrates dodged the bolt, rebounded off a wall, and kicked the duplicate hard in the chest.

Meanwhile, Hobbes was desperately firing the Mega-Shrinker 5000 in an attempt to return Socrates to normal size.

While Hobbes was searching, Evil Calvin and Socrates were preparing to fight each other. This isn't going to be pretty…

Hobbes mind suddenly snapped back to Calvin. Because Calvin's Hypercube was in his pocket, it got transmogrified into the brick also, so there was no way to get the second Transmogrifier Gun and get Calvin back.

Meaning Socrates would have to fight the dupe until the transmogrification on Calvin wore off. In other words, Socrates would have to fight the dupe until 24 hours have passed.