Chapter 6
War Breaks Out
Both Evil Calvin and Socrates shot sharp looks of pure hatred at each other.
Finally, Socrates lost it.
"GAAAHH!" Socrates screamed, and slashed at Evil Calvin, ripping his shirt.
"Thanks to YOU, I don't have anyone to prank anymore!" Socrates bellowed.
The duplicate just laughed.
"Heh heh…that's just YOU, isn't it Socrates? The world's alright so long as you have someone to prank! WELL, LEARN A LESSON!"
Evil Calvin whipped out the PEZ 6,000,000.
Meanwhile, Hobbes was charging around the house, trying to find some means of getting Socrates back to normal size AND get Calvin back to normal.
"I'VE GOT IT!" Hobbes shrieked. He darted into Calvin's room, and rummaged through the closet.
Meanwhile, down in Shrink-O-Vision…
The battle between Socrates and the duplicate was in full force.
Socrates was entirely dependent on his claws, while Evil Calvin preferred to use his inventions.
The pair of them were very agile, and as a result, blows rarely connected. Almost every claw slash from Socrates was evaded by the dupe, and almost every blast from Evil Calvin's Transmogrifier Gun missed from Socrates' extreme agility.
"You're forgetting something, Socrates," the duplicate grinned, as he jumped out of the path of Socrates' arm. The dupe pointed behind him. There, with their weapons poised and ready, was the Territorial Toy Army.
"Alright, men, on my count." Evil Calvin shouted. "Three!"
The Toy Army loaded their rifles.
"Two!"
The Toy Army raised their rifles.
"One!"
The Toy Army aimed their rifles.
Socrates stood in shock.
His life flashed before his eyes.
But he did get a quick action replay of the time he hit Calvin upside the head with a slushball.
"Go on!" Socrates taunted. "Gimme all ya got!"
The duplicate growled in anger. "Goodbye, Socrates! FIR—AAUUGHH!"
Everything went dark. Nobody could see anything.
Suddenly, without any warning, there was an ear piercing, deafening ZZZZAAAAAAPPP noise. Then, almost as quickly as the darkness had come, it was light again.
The duplicate shook his head in disbelief. "What just happ—URGH!"
The duplicate was quickly grabbed and Normal Calvin repeatedly punched him over and over in the stomach.
Socrates looked around in wonder. "We're—back to normal size!" Socrates cried with joy.
"But how—" Socrates looked over at Hobbes, who was leaning by a cardboard box which had the word 'Transmogrifier' messily written on the side of it. Hobbes winked at Socrates.
"Take THIS, you good-for-nothing, low-down, filthy TRAITOR!" Calvin shouted. He was now rolling downstairs with the duplicate, as they both exchanged punches and unfriendly comments.
But Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates had all forgotten the main major threat. Socrates and Hobbes were just about to go help Calvin when there was a familiar sound.
RATTATATTATATTATATTA
Four ammunition clips were depleted in four seconds by the PEZ 6,000,000, which had just emerged from the Transmogrifier Box at full size. It's current setting was 'rapid-fire machine gun'. Socrates and Hobbes bolted downstairs.
Can I just say…if you thought that this story was nearly over…it's barely even begun.
The PEZ 6,000,000 headed downstairs for Calvin.
Calvin and his dupe were now wrestling across the kitchen floor.
The PEZ 6,000,000 was now taking random potshots at Calvin. Every one missed. Suddenly, Hobbes and Socrates darted out the front door.
"Calvin! Lure Dr. Dupe outside! We've got a plan!"
"Gotcha!" Calvin said.
Calvin jumped off the floor and darted for the front lawn. As he did so, he shouted, "I'D BETTER USE MY NEW INVENTION!" This, obviously, lured the dupe outside, seeing as how he loves inventions so much.
The dupe ran outside.
And he NEVER, in a million years, would he have guessed what happened next.
WHAM! CRUNCH! BANG! BINK! BONK! BOOM!
Calvin was now standing in front of the duplicate, but he wasn't alone. He had an army with him. It consisted of five haired, red-and-black stripe clothed kids. Not to forget the two tigers in the front as well.
The dupe had just been pretty roughed up. Every member of the Calvin army had just charged him.
The duplicate simply laughed, in that sickening tone that made Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates want to re-tune his voicebox.
In one swift movement, the PEZ 6,000,000, that was flying overhead, dropped the Duplicator Box, which landed on the dupe, and the candy dispenser pressed the button with a gun turret, and Evil Calvin was transmogrified by 5, each one of them as twisted as the original.
Then, suddenly, war broke out.
Calvin transmogrified one of the Evil Calvins into a statue, Socrates and Hobbes took care of two with their claws also, while Calvin's army dealt with the remaining two. Calvins, both good and evil, were rolling around on the ground, fighting each other, shooting each other with Transmogrifier Gun lasers; some even passing out. Everyone had cuts and grazes.
Finally, the original Calvin snapped.
"STOP!" Calvin bellowed.
Everyone halted. Calvin continued. "I can't bear watching everyone suffer like this! TROOP! RETREAT!"
"But Calvin, if we retreat, you won't stand a chance on your ow—"
"I SAID, RETREAT! This is between ME and my evil self! NO-ONE else has to get hurt!" Calvin screamed.
Calvin's troop followed their orders, and retreated.
"Oh, I see," sneered the original evil duplicate. "Now who's a namby-pamby goody-goody? Men, attack! And DON'T hold back!"
All at once, all five of the duplicate's men leaped at Calvin.
Calvin and Hobbes leaped into the air.
One Evil Dupe tried to trip Calvin over; but Calvin got the advantage and transmogrified him into an ant, and stomped on him.
Hobbes knocked out three Evil Duplicates by pouncing on them and attacking them with his claws.
The last one was a coward, and ran back to the Original Evil Duplicate.
"What do you think you're doing; running away from battle?" The Original Evil Dupe shouted.
"They're too strong, and I'm hurt!" The duplicate said, clutching his grazed arm.
"Coward!" The Original Evil Dupe said. He punched the duplicate hard in face and kicked him while he was down.
"Owww!" The duplicate screamed. "PLEASE STOP!"
"COWARD!" The Original dupe repeated. He began kicking him harder. Then the original dupe got out the PEZ 6,000,000, set it to 'pistol' mode, and aimed at the duplicate sprawling on the floor.
"NO! PLEASE!" The duplicate begged.
Evil Calvin pulled the trigger.
BLAM!
Calvin looked at Evil Calvin. "You absolutely SICKEN me. You killed one of your own men because he was too hurt to fight. But the part that sickens me MOST…is knowing that in my present state; I can't do ANYTHING about it."
"Thanks for the compliment;" said the duplicate remorselessly. "If I were you; I would surrender yourself now. That way I can make your death quick and painless."
"Oh no," Calvin said. "Surrendering is the one thing I will never do.
Calvin turned around and shouted at Hobbes and Socrates, "RUN! NOW!"
Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all ran over into Socrates house.
Well, not a house. It's a mansion. Which means that it's the perfect place for cover.
The trio ran upstairs.
Hobbes asked Calvin, "Why did you turn down the army we made? We could have beat him!"
"I'm pretty certain you're right, but I didn't want any more people getting hurt than there should be, otherwise, there's no real point in us even trying!" Calvin said, in a more noble tone than he usually uses.
Then he broke the tone and asked, "Hey, Crateso, where's the best place to hide in here?"
"Pretty much the whole house. This place is massive. Let's take my owner's parents' room. That ought to be good cover."
Hobbes nodded, and all three of them ran upstairs. But suddenly they heard a gunshot. The PEZ 6,000,000 had just blown the lock off the front door.
Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates were all assigned to different points of the parents' room.
Calvin was dangling outside the window, and Hobbes and Socrates were hiding in closets facing each other, where the window was between.
"OK, everyone got the plan?" Calvin asked.
"Got it," the two tigers replied in unison.
WHAM! The door had been kicked open.
Calvin jumped out the window.
The duplicate chased after, but he tripped over a wire connecting the opposing closets.
That was when Hobbes and Socrates leaped out of the closets, pounced on the duplicate, and jumped out the window.
Once they were outside, the trio waited. Sure enough, Evil Calvin jumped out, but he immediately wished he hadn't.
Because Socrates had set up a firework outside, straight on course for Mr. Evil Dupe.
KRAK! BOOM!
Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates ran into town, knowing that that would provide great cover.
With the duplicate temporarily indisposed, the trio began to think up plans.
Plans to stop the duplicate.
Plans to stop the PEZ 6,000,000.