Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
Carrots and Airplanes
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To: My best friend
From: Your best friend
Sub: Our (well your soon to be) best friend
Hey Saku! I missed you so much. I wanted to murder myself when I couldn't go to your 18th birthday. Actually, I really shouldn't be asking you for this huge favor then… but just hear me out, please? One of my new friends (I think you'll really like her) has this cousin that kind of sued the company Shay International, and he has a few… things he wants to ask you. So, since we haven't seen each other in a while, would you like to come back? We can go shopping and I can dress you up just like childhood times (not that you need me to, Miss. Vice President of the best clothing maker in the world!). While I'm just a photographer at a regular studio. Wow. I feel useless.
From I don't deserve to be in your presence
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To: Queen
From: Princess
Sub: Your worthiness
Tomo, I'd love to come back. I haven't seen you or Chicharu or anybody in years! I honestly can't wait! I'll be back on Thursday. Can you pick me up at 3:00 at the AAA Airport? Thanks so much!
Sakura, your loyal court jester
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To: Oh so great cousin of mine
From: Oh so great cousin of yours
Sub: Our oh so great friend of ours
Great news. Tomoyo has asked her friend to come back, and she's arriving at the same airport as you are, just fifteen minutes earlier! Isn't that awesome! So, I guess I'll pick you up so I, as your, lawyer can meet her, too!
Meiling
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To: Mei
From: Li
Sub: What?
She's arriving at the same airport as us? Okay, but why do you have to pick us up? Isn't having to see you later eventually enough? Oh, and I've been thinking about your plan. It's not making sense right now. Why would they back off? They have a tape! A tape!
-L
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To: Exasperator
From: Exasperated
Sub: What makes you think that…
Everything has to make sense all the time? Are you the, um, the… King of making sense or something? Yeah, what makes you think you can be the king of making sense when you, oh never mind.
-M
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To: What?
From: What?
Sub: What?
Syaoran told me about your idea and I don't think it's going to work. It just has no guaranteed way of winning, and remember, everything here's at stake. They just have too much evidence of the stuff Syaoran did. They would just find it a great opportunity to take down Li Corp. and Rendezvous in Luxury if we merged together. What you're saying just has no sense to it. Sorry Mei. By the way, I brought back a lucky carrot for you. Legend is that if you take a bite of it everyday and keep track of how many bites you take, when you finish, that number will be the number of husbands you have. If you like it, I will gladly sell more to you for a mere amount and you get a 15 percent discount. Tell all of Li's employees will you?
The new founder of Y's Joke Shop!
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To: Hmph
From: Hmph
Sub: Hmph
So are you the Prince of making sense? Huh? Huh? HUH? And no, I will not use my new position to make you money!
-M
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To: Temperamental
From: Skeptical
Sub: Confusion
Prince (which all used to be toads in the olden days)?
-Y
You drive a hard bargain. How about a twenty percent discount? I'll even throw in a talking potato?
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To: Person that needs help
From: Person that (unfortunately) can't provide the help
Sub: Did you trick Chi into marrying you?
Syaoran's the king.
Mei
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: Round 55
I have heard from a reliable source that a new woman is going to meet up with Li to discuss business matters. The betting of how long it will take for him to screw her and/or do something sexual to her and where will take place immediately. Please take this seriously, seeing that it might be our last Round because our newly found lawyer's plan has somewhat… decayed. Because of that, the prize this time is his desk (yes, ladies, his desk) that he's done many things on, a special tuxedo (he wore it to his mommy's birthday. Awww….), and his old personal M-Net Communication device that he used last month. Enjoy!
Special Acknowledgements to Lee Kim who said that his frolicking with the secretary would take place on the floor and to Soon Jin who said it would take him twelve days. Congratulations and we will celebrate with a round of drinks tonight. The rest of you are all invited- except you all have to pay yourselves.
E. Hiragizawa
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Passengers on Flight 162 from Paris, France have arrived. We hope you enjoyed your flight.
Where is she, Chi? They're ten minutes late!
Calm down, Tomo, they just got there.
What color hair does she have, again?
I told you already Mei, brown, kind of short hair, jade green eyes, and a smile. She always has to have a smile.
You're right about that!
Sakura!
Oh my God! You're here! Come on- group hug!
Hello?
Oh sorry. Sakura this is Meiling. She's the cousin of the guy that wants to ask you stuff.
Nice to meet you!
Same here.
MEILING!
Oh. Um, that sounds like him. I'll go get- AHHH! Syaoran, don't do that!
Meiling. I was waiting here for the whole day! From 2:45 yesterday!
Wait. Your flight wasn't today?
That's Yamazaki's flight.
You look scary.
Good.
And wet and dirty.
Good.
But don't you want to meet Tomoyo's friend.
Right now, not- YOU AGAIN!
You're the guy that knocked into me!
You know him Sakura?
Yes he ran into-
You ran into me! And hit me with your purse!
What did you expect? You looked like a hobo!
STOP!
What, Chi? I'm busy!
Here. Mei, take Li's hand and I'll take Sakura's. Bring it closer- There you go. Now, shake!
Oh, do I get to be Syaoran?
Yeah, and I'll be Sakura!
Hi there. I'm Li Syaoran and it's a great pleasure to meet you.
Hello! I'm Kinomoto Sakura and the pleasure's all mine.
You guys are such nitwits.
Tomoyo, stay out of this!
Mei, let go of my hand! You know, the pleasure really is all yours. It's not everyday you get to meet the most eligible bachelor.
I am really honor- Stop it, Chi! If you're the most eligible bachelor, then I must have fulfilled my lifelong dream of having a family!
Oh, Tomo! She's married?
No, Chi. Just don't say anything.
You know what? You guys take Kinomoto, and I'll handle Syaoran, ok?
Yeah. Bye Mei.
Good luck.
Yeah, cause you'll need it with that monster! Baka!
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Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Meiling. If you're Chi, Tomoyo, or anyone else I know, please come and bust us out of jail. My dear and loving cousin has just landed us in jail by kicking the front airplane wheel down the hill, which caused the airplane to stumble and roll down after it. If you're anyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll do my best to call you back! BEEP!
I was just wondering where you were. Um, I have to go and tend to Yamazaki's needs, so I'll get Tomoyo to come by and help you later. Maybe.
Hey Mei, sounds like you guys had fun at the airport. Can you ask Syaoran if- Never mind. I'll just ask him myself.
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Shoot me now. BEEP!
Li, where are you? Meiling was serious about the airplane? And I was just wondering. You know how you're thinking about getting a new desk? Can I have the old one? Thanks man, I owe you one!
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BigGuy has just signed on.
GlassesAreSexy: Hey. So can I have your desk?
BigGuy: What did I do to be on the net with you? Was I that horrible?
GlassesAreSexy: Ha. Oh, how did the jail thing go? I'm not going to ask you how you got in jail because Mei's voicemail told me. It's hilarious!
GlassesAreSexy: And you know you're a horrible person, right?
BigGuy: One of these days in the next century, I'm going to remember exactly why I'm friends with you.
BigGuy: That jail was the worst ever.
GlassesAreSexy: Why? Is it because you missed your beauty sleep?
BigGuy: No. I could have made it another day without that (or a shower), but that girl Kinomoto came down and busted us out. I got help. From her! Oh how I despise her.
GlassesAreSexy: Despise? Not hate?
BigGuy: I would have said hate, but Mei's threatened me to send me to a shrink if I don't stop using some specific words that she picked out.
GlassesAreSexy: Wow. Must be Hell for you.
BigGuy: Damn right it is.
GlassesAreSexy: Is damn on the list?
BigGuy: Damn right it is.
GlassesAreSexy: Ok. Well… can I have your desk?
BigGuy: I changed my mind. I decided to keep it. Just because I know that I can sell it later in case I lose all my money when I get sued. Joy.
GlassesAreSexy: Oh.Um,I got to go. Important M-Mail I have to send.
GlassesAreSexy has just signed off.
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To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: Important Business Matters
To: All Respected Employees of Li. Corp:
I have found out from the big guy himself that he DOES NOT, I repeat, DOES NOT like this new girl. So, I will allow everyone to either change their bets within the next forty-eight hours or bet that he will not screw and/or do something sexual to her as of right now (12-12-2027).
And, he has decided not to get a new desk. But don't groan yet- I have set my desires to having this desk as the grand prize, so I will go through desperate measures to retrieve it. I will be forming ROLD (Recovery of Li's Desk) now and is waiting for members to join. You all should receive the M-Mail pretty soon, if you don't have it already. Thank you for your support.
E. Hiragizawa
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To: All Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: ROLD
Do you want to win the legendary desk of Li Syaoran?
Do you want to write and lay on the desk that Li Syaoran has been all over?
Do you and will you go through desperate measures to retrieve, steal, or take it by force?
If you answered 'yes' to any of those questions, please print and fill out the form and give it directly to me (without Li finding out AT ALL) during work.
Registration for ROLD
The Recovery of Li's Desk begins!
Reply no later than 12/19/2027
Name:
Gender: M F
Age:
Special Skills:
Can you crack a top-notch, high tech security system? Yes No
Will you risk your life (or job) for this desk? Yes No
Can you keep your mouth shut? Yes No
Are you or have you been a military general? Yes No
If yes, can you devise a strategic and sneaky attack plan? Yes No
How heavy are the objects that your capabilities can lift?
Have you ever been in jail? Yes No
Additional Comments:
Please note that we will keep your responses confidential. Unless we get some benefit from it. Then, expect to see it all over Magik-Net and Magik-Newspapers. You have been warned. Thank you for understanding.
Also, please note that if I find out that you have stretched the truth regarding your abilities, I will not hesitate to fire you myself or do anything that my evil side forces me to do. Good day, ladies and gentlemen.
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hope u guys liked it. r&r! thx
rendezvous-in-paris1892