Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
Quotes and Terms
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To: I hate you
From: I hate you
Sub: Um, Let me see… I hate you!
All right, Kinomoto, I can see that I hate you and that you at least despise me. So, since we got that right, I still need to meet with you. I need a plan, because if I don't get one, I'm going to become nothing! And if you could please come by Li Corp. and translate my French documents while I go out on a date with this girl I met in a club, that would be most appreciated.
Li
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If I had a penny for every crap I gave about you, I would be poor right now. Glad that's not the case. BEEP!
Li, I know you're there. Pick up, or else I won't even think about the stuff you need me to-
Fine I picked up. Are you there Kinomoto?
Of course I am, you idiot. Anyway, good way of bribing me to do your stuff- all that hate really touches a girl.
Really?
I know you're being sarcastic.
So you're not as dumb as I thought you were. But, either way, will you think of a plan while you translate my papers.
You know, I thought about it. I will translate your papers.
You will?
Yeah. But with you there with me.
What? I mean Kinomoto; I know you want me, but honestly! Translating papers is not my idea of a romantic date!
I surprised your nose hasn't grown to where I live right now because I was expecting it to.
Kinomoto-
Don't bother Li. I'll be over tomorrow night, and we'll translate and devise then. All right? All right. Good day.
Kinomoto! Kinomoto? You don't hang up- that's what I do!
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To: Chi, Tomo, Rita, Syaoran
From: Mei
Sub: I found…
This paper on the floor of Syaoran's place! It had the best quote for me ever- I'm going to use it to get Eriol to get the hint that I am so ready for a relationship with him. It's adorable- check it out!
'I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.'
Beautiful isn't it?
I'm just wondering how I'm going to get it to Eriol, so I don't sound too desperate…
Much Love, Mei
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If teardrops were wishes, I would be a happy man. Unfortunately, they're not, so I have to see Kinomoto tonight. BEEP!
Ha. Very funny, Syaoran. It's Tomoyo. Anyway, I think I left my purse at your place. It's very important to me because it has all my, let's say, personal thoughts. Ok, fine, my quotes, poems, and stuff like that. So could you bring it back to me? You know I'm only telling you this because I know you won't look, right?
Right.
Oh dear God, did you just pick up?
…
What's wrong? You're not that upset about seeing Sakura, are you? She's a very nice per-
It's not that. Have you checked your mail, lately?
Not in a couple of days. Why?
I'll bring your purse back.
Ok, thanks, but- Impatient people who hang up all the time. Argh!
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Li.
Kinomoto.
Let's get to work, shall we? That is if you're done gawking at me.
Don't think you're all attractive just because I stared at you. You're wearing red.
And your point is…
Men are like bulls. We're attracted to red.
So why do you like it, Li?
I'm going to pretend you never said that.
Then let's work on the translating.
Fine!
If you had said that earlier, we wouldn't have had to talk about men and bulls.
What's the fun in that?
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: Optimists…
You've got a chance. A small chance, but a chance, nonetheless. As of right now, Li and Kinomoto are in his house, in the same room, together. I assume that could lead to interesting things regarding our boss. So, just to spice it up for the night, I've started Round 55.5 (since it shouldn't be considered a full round), where you can bet on how far they get tonight! Winner gets Li's personal scotch tape and autographed (signed, same thing) complaint letter!
E. Hiragizawa
By the way, only twenty-seven members signed up for ROLD out of exactly 1,592? I am not impressed. You've got four days left!
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Kinomoto, you're in my way!
Well I wouldn't be if you didn't need the translator every five seconds!
It's not my fault we're not all dainty little French puppets like you!
I am offended Li Syaoran!
Yeah? Well don't be!
You know that made no sense at all in this argument.
So what?
Li, I- Never mind. Listen. I'm willing to help you get your company right again if you're willing to at least try and get along with me. Ok?
But- fine.
Good. I'll help you translate this thing then.
Kinomoto?
Yeah?
Your hair smells good.
Are you smelling my hair?
Well, it's kind of hard not to, when you're bent right over me. You should be glad. I tried to refrain from saying something about the part of your body that's very well visible to me right now.
What? Oh dear God!
Wait. Don't get up!
Why? So you can have a full view of my boobs?
No, but your lips smell like peaches, just like your hair, and it's very… intoxicating.
Oh. Um… Mmm.
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To: Meiling
From: Y's Joke Shop
Sub: Something you can't resist!
Meiling, I have made a book of all of my true stories that I've told to you guys and have made five-hundred copies for you and Li Corp! Just for a mere price of three-hundred and fifty dollars! What a deal! What a buy! And if that doesn't amuse you, you can exchange it for a carrot that sprays skunk fumes! Did you know that skunks are very popular in parts of the world? Men would spray it all over themselves before a big outing!
-Y
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Li! You just ran your forehead into my mouth!
Well sorry! When you said something, you dropped the paper so I went to pick it up for you!
Wow, did you do something helpful?
I tried to and this is the thanks I get?
Thank you, Li Syaoran.
You're welcome, Kinomoto. What are you laughing at?
Your adorableness. Here, let me wipe some of that lip gloss off your head for you.
…Thanks.
That took you a while to answer.
I was caught up in the moment.
Oh. Again. Holy cow! Are you smiling?
No!
Yes you are! Turn around you big chicken! You look hot.
We all know that dear, now help me finish these papers!
And here are the thanks I get for saying a compliment to you.
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To: Are you ok?
From: I'll be there if you need me
Sub: 'I'll wait for you, but I won't wait forever.'
I know you wrote that, Tomoyo. If you don't want Mei to send it to Eriol, you better do something. Now! She's going to do it really soon!
Chiharu
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To: Person with no life
From: Person that person with no life bothers
Sub: Why me?
-Yamasaki
No, I don't want your book. No I don't want your farting carrot. And no, um- Wow, I guess there's no more.
-Meiling
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To: Brilliant
From: Amazed
Sub: Good idea!
Farting carrots? Sounds good- I think I'll try that!
Thanks, Y.
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It took you two hours to finish that page?
Well how much did you finish, Miss I'm so brilliant?
The rest of them!
…
Anyway, since your lawyer hasn't come up with anything, I decided to arrange a meeting for us and Shay International at a court house tomorrow.
You want them to sue me tomorrow?
No! But we're just going to talk terms. If they'll let you guys off if we do something for them. It's being recorded, so they can't twist our words or anything around. So, there's my plan. Do you need anything else?
Wait, are you officially merged with us right now?
Not officially, because we never signed any papers. But we will if necessary.
Why?
Because, um, because-
You're turning beet red.
…
Tomato red, now, actually.
It's… because your Tomoyo's friend, and I want to help her out! Don't you dare raise your eyebrow at me!
…
You're smiling again.
So I am.
It's really kind of cute.
So I've heard.
You should really look at yourself.
So I've seen.
Hmph. I'm just going to go now. I'll see you at 10 am sharp at the Central Court House.
Wait-
What- mmm.
…
Do you always kiss girls on the corner of their mouth?
No, but-
But what?
Nothing.
Fine. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere. Bye. Hmph. Boys!
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To: Hiragizawa
From: Li
Sub: 'terms'
Hiragizawa
So, you know that Kinomoto and I went to talk 'terms' at the Court House right? Well, Shay International wants us to make them one hundred billion dollars by next June if we don't want to be sued. We've only got six months! The only reason that I agreed was because they could rip and tear and sell our company to anyone. I hate my life.
Li
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To: Li
From: Hiragizawa
Sub: Wow…
Li
Not one word of hate to Kinomoto. What happened?
One hundred billion? We can make it, no sweat. We'll just have to get extra jobs…A lot of extra jobs...
Hiragizawa
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: Good news!
I have recently hacked into Li's security system (ok, he gave me the password) and stole this tape. It has mostly bickering, some intense moments (our Li can be a sweetie sometimes) and a good night kiss on the corner of her mouth! Now, no one guessed that, but we will give the scotch tape to Jun San for guessing it on the cheek and a separate complaint letter (he has many) to Kim Rioko and Sun Lao for guessing it on the lips. Congrats!
Hiragizawa
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To: Li
From: Meiling
Sub: Good News!
Hey, I heard about your billion dollar thing, and decided that instead of being you full time lawyer, I can be your part time lawyer and part time advice columnist because of the quote I sent in. Check out the Magik Newspapers I had sent to you!
Meiling
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Li Meiling, wealthy cousin of Li Syaoran is our brilliant, and deep advice columnist! She will feature her very own quote of the week, gossip of the week, and, of course, weekly advice. If you have any questions, write her to the address below, and we'll feature it in next week's paper!
Meiling's Quote of the Week: 'I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.'
-Kim Rika, head journalist
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To: Li
From: Kinomoto
Sub: I might regret this
Li
I need a ride and an escort to the mall. I don't know where it is, and people here are rough! And you're the only person I trust (besides Tomoyo, but she looks kind of upset right now…) to protect me. Please, I need to get Christmas presents. Thanks if you do, and thanks anyway if you don't.
Kinomoto
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a/n: S&S are finally getting somewhere. Kinda. A little. Anyway, I had lotz of fun writing that part about them. As you can see, i didn't make Syaoran as much of a cold-hearted person, but more of the arguing and love to hate kind of guy (for sakura andyway). Besides, it wouldn't fit with in the humor category if it was, and i can't see this type of writing being Too serious... Ohhh and they might go xmas shopping next. what should i have them get into...lol.
R&R! thx!
xoxo
rendezvousinparis1892