Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
Salads and Presents
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a/n: i checked my stats thing and i got over 600 hits! I heart you guys! lol. Well, think of this as you MLKjr day present, for being so awesome!
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Hi. You've reached Kinomoto Sakura. If you leave your name and number, I'll do my best to call you back. BEEP!
Wow, Kinomoto, your voicemail is so… blah, to be blunt. Honestly, I was expecting a string of French gibberish to enlighten me! Well, before this disappointment, I was going to tell you that I wouldn't mind taking you to the mall, I guess this Saturday at 6:00? I'm busy in the morning.
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Magik M.E.M.O
Hey Li. I heard about your future date with Kinomoto. Were you drunk? Are you okay? Or does little Li have a crush. You have a crush. You have a crush on Kinomoto… This stuff is great blackmail, dude.
Hiragizawa
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Magik M.E.M.O
A crush and an attraction are completely different things you know. I'm just… slightly attracted to her. She's hot.
Li
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Magik M.E.M.O
Dude- You just admitted you LIKE her? From one night? I think I might just have a heart attack! That's when your heart stops moving, right?
Hiragizawa
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Magik M.E.M.O
I don't like her that much. I'm still going out with Whitney. You know that one blond that I met in that club? No, Hiragizawa, you're not the blond.
Li
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Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry!
Not a problem Miss. Li. I will reprogram myself in one minute.
Of course it's a problem! Li's going to know I crashed into you, his favorite Magik M.E.M.O delivery robot- With all his M.E.M.O s about Kinomoto? He thinks she hot and he's attracted to her! Oh my God. Yay! They would look good together…
Okay, Miss Li. I have successfully reprogrammed myself and am ready to go to Mr. Hiragizawa to delivery this message.
Oh no, you're not. Eriol will just ruin this. Give it to me, I'll respond to it.
I am sorry Miss. Li. I had specific orders to delivery this to Mr. Hiragizawa. Excuse me please.
Well, I'm sorry too, because I'm going to have to stick my finger up your nose for a second.
Excuse me- …
I love all the stuff Li programs a reset button into. Even thought it was up his nose. That sounded disgusting. Oh well, let's see what we've got… and what we can do...
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Magik M.E.M.O
Li! I don't think at all, dude that you should go out with that swank. You should like totally, ask Kinomoto to go out with you, dude. She's way more worth it and committed to you.
Hiragizawa
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Magik M.E.M.O
Since when do you say 'dude' and 'like' so much. You're high right now, aren't you. Well, from my accounts, I shouldn't listen to you when you're in this state, so I will go out with Whitney on Friday, and I'm not going to dump her. Since you're high right now, I'll tell you that Whitney makes me feel superior, but Kinomoto makes me feel… strange. Anyway, go get something for yourself. You can't make me money if you can't even think. One more thing. Committed?
Li
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Mei's Corner- Dec. 15, 2027, Vol. 1
Hey everybody. Li Meiling here. This week, I have your questions, gossip, and quote, so here we go!
QUESTIONS
Dear Mei,
What would you do if your boss thought you were high for some reason, and now thinks that you need help constantly and is driving me insane. Ok, fine, it's only been a couple of hours, but I am completely worried. What do I do? What if it lasts for the rest of my life?
From,
Scared for my sanity
Dear Mei,
I have this friend that got a job working for my other friend, but the first friend won't sell stuff to the other friend's company, and I don't know why? My farting carrots are delectable.
From,
My carrots are sad
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Dear Scared for my sanity,
Tell your boss how you feel, and if that doesn't work, um, sorry. Think of what the problem might be- you might have said something strange to him (like I love you), sleepwalked to his house in the middle of the night and went potty on his head, or your friend could have intercepted the Magik M.E.M.O robot you guys used while chatting and wrote something strange to him because he or she thought you would mess it up. Either one of those are perfectly logical reasons.
Mei
Dear Farting carrot cough Yamasaki cough,
I, I mean the friend probably thinks you're idiotic idiot, and that's why the friend won't buy it from you, Yamasaki!
Mei
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GOSSIP OF THE WEEK
(Please note that these could possibly be made up for my own twisted amusement. Or, they could be true. Enjoy!)
Oh No! Hollywood breakups must be in style this season! So go find a decent man, marry him, and then divorce him!
Thad Chichael Surry and Thopia Sush have gone a couple of decent months before breaking it up.
Thenifer Faniston and Rhad Ditt have also broken it up, unfortunately, seeing as they were the couple that everyone thought would last…
Kissica Bimpson and Kick Macay (the kinky blonde and the sex addict) are also gone. Bimpson is suing for her money right now.
So, what you waitin for? Go and get yourself a man!
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Quote of the week: I just met you. And yet, I know all I need to know about you to know you are the one I want.
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Thanks for reading. Same time, same place next time!
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To: Rat
From: Rodent Exterminating Service
Sub: I can smell you… (In the least gross way possible)
Tomoyo, I know that that was your quote. You showed it to me after you met Eriol. What did you do?
Chi
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To: Good Nose
From: Bad hider
Sub: Nice…
Yeah, that was me. Well, you see, I stopped by her loft yesterday, and found her sleeping on her desk with some horrible quotes. So, I just put that one in and submitted it under her name. She just looked so helpless, poor thing.
Tomo
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Where is she, Chi? I thought you said she was home?
I guess she's not.
What are we going to do with the wine?
We could have the 'celebrate Meiling's Mei's Corner' without Meiling?
Why do you want to get drunk so bad?
Personal reasons.
…
Ring…Ring…
Should I pick that up, Tomo?
Just let the answering machine get it.
Hey, Mei here. Name and number, and I'll call you back! BEEP!
Hi, Meiling, I read your news week thing, and thought it was pretty great. Especially that quote. It was so beautiful and romantic, and inspiring. It's inspired me to ask you this. Will you go out with me? Oh, um it's Eriol, just in case you didn't know it was me.
Tomo- Where'd she go? Tomoyo!
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Are you okay, Miss?
Yes, just get me a table for one please.
All right. And what would you like?
Just the garden salad and water.
It will be ready shortly.
Ring…Ring
Hello?
Tomoyo?
Yeah?
Where are you? Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine. I just need to be alone right now I guess.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Just call me if you need me, okay?
Yeah, bye.
Bye.
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Your salad, Miss.
Thank you.
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Sir, come back!
Yes, Miss?
Your salad… it's horrible!
Excuse me?
It just doesn't taste right.
You think you could do better than us?
I think I can!
Oh thank goodness! We need a new chef so badly!
Hey!
Sorry Romona!
Are you raising your eyebrows at me? Fine. Let's see what you've got.
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To: Chi
From: Tomo
Sub: You're a real pal
Hey, thanks for just being there, I guess. I know, that line is so overused. But, thanks anyway. So, guess what? I was at this restaurant that served really bad salads, and I told them I could do better, and they let me, so now, I'm their new head chef! I'm going to give the money I make to Li, of course. I'm so glad I found something to do to help.
And then Eriol came in, and we talked. I think I can become really good, plain old friends with him. I know I'm going to try.
Tomo
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Kinomoto.
Li.
Shall we go?
Yes we shall.
What? No argument about bulls today?
Don't smirk at me. I'm just saving my breath for something more important.
What was your life like as a kid?
Where did that come from?
Nowhere. I was just wondering.
It had to come from somewhere then.
Ugh! Never mind. ForgetI asked!
Honestly, I had everything. I'm not bragging or anything. Or, I at least had every material possession I could ever want. My dad, I didn't know because he just left us one day, and my mom just doesn't love me.
I guess you're kind of like me then.
Excuse me?
My dad and mom died when I was really young. I think I'm pretty lucky though. I got to know them the first six years of my life and they loved me so much. We were really poor though. So, on my fifth birthday, when my parents saved enough money, they brought me to the toy store to get a teddy bear, because that was the thing I really wanted. And they got it for me. But then, on my sixth birthday, they took me to this horse pasture to ride, because he loved to ride. But the horses that they were riding on took a slide down the ridge, and they were so injured, they died.
Are you okay?
Yeah. No offense or anything, but I don't know why I told you that.
…
Hey, cheer up! It's only a couple more days until Christmas! You're supposed to be happy! Come on, let's go window shopping!
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa, Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: I am not high!
That and, Li and Kinomoto are out Christmas shopping. We will not have a bet, but this will probably make Round 55 a huge success! Also, regarding ROLD, I am still a tad disappointed. 155 members? You have three days.
Hiragizawa
Once again, any rumors you have heard about me getting high off of the Sharpie maker,I would like to tell you all lovely people that I didn't.
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No, you shopping freak! We will not buy that!
Come on Kinomoto! Just one.
What would you use dancing penguins for? Be reasonable. You need the money for June!
God. Women are so strange.
Good you realize that Li. They first step to solving a problem is to admit you have a problem.
…
…
Hey! Don't laugh at me! I'm gonna get you!
No you wouldn't… AHHH! You evil person that pushes people in the snow
So what are you- AHHH! You did not just pull me down with you!
So is that why you're on top of me?
Wow. That sounds dirty. I like it Kinomoto.
Well, you better forget about it because you know very well I didn't mean it that way.
Kinomoto,I never knew you cared so much. You want me to never forget it becauseI should knowvery well that you meant it every way possible?
Freak.
Wait, don't move- Ouch. See Kinomoto? I'm not the only one that bumps foreheads. You do too. You have a really pretty smile. And blush.
…Thanks.
Come on, I'll help you up.
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To: Sakura
From: Savanna
Sub: Where are you?
Weren't you supposed to be back at work yesterday? Everyone expected you back, and when they couldn't find you, they kept on coming to me! Where are you? They're driving me crazy!
Savanna
By the way, how does Li look? I heard he's FINE!
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Aren't you going to buy anything for yourself? What about that necklace you wanted?
Nope. I only brought enough for my presents.
Oh.
Li?
Yeah?
Can I ask you something?
What?
I was wondering if you'd-
Yes?
Will you show me where the restroom is?
Yes, I'd love to- show you where the restroom is. Just go down that street and make a left. There's a pretty big sign down there, I think.
Thanks!
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Miss?
Yes, sir?
Can I buy the thing in the display window?
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Sir?
Yes, Miss?
Can! buy that thing in the display window?
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a/n: I was going to make the X-mas shopping thing a lot more of a big deal, but since they still basically just met, I couldn't get to intimate. Unfortunately.
Special thanks to insomniaaa, BabyPenguin, KitKat200725, and dbzgtfan2004 who have been the most awesomest reviewers ever!If you could review, that would be great. I really want to know if you like/hate this story and what i can do to make it better for ya.
xoxo
rendezvousinparis1892