Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
Plane Wings and Soaked Hair
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BigGuy: Mei, I have a question.
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Shoot. Wait- Aren't you in your office right now?
BigGuy: Yes…
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Then why don't you just come down to my office since I'm in the same building as you are?
BigGuy: If I wanted to get up to talk to you, I would be in your office right now.
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Ok?
BigGuy: Am I in your office?
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: No…
BigGuy: So that means I don't want to bother getting up.
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Wow. You got all worked up for that.
BigGuy: Shut up.
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Didn't you want to ask me something?
BigGuy: Oh yeah. Where's Kinomoto? She's supposed to be working here today.
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: You didn't hear? She had to go to back to Paris early because she was wanted there or something.
BigGuy: What? So she's at the airport right now?
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Yeah, but Syaoran, it's not a big deal- She'll be back around New Year.
BigGuy: Yes it is a big deal! Which airport?
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: The same one as last time. But why?
BigGuy: No reason. And tell Yamizaki I can't baby-sit for him this week-end okay?
RedBeautyisRealBeauty: Okay, but-
BigGuy has just signed off.
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Eriol-
What's up with Li?
Meiling
P.S. You look absolutely yummy today.
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Mei-
I don't know- I was going to ask you! The front desk secretary just ran up to tell me that he ran out the door like a lunatic.
Eriol
P.S. You look absolutely delectable today, too. But your column yesterday was even yummier! Your quote was absolutely beautiful.
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Eriol-
Why did the front desk lady run up to find YOU? Couldn't she have M-Mailed you? HUH? And I know you think her ass is hot.
Meiling
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Mei-
Li gave her his key to give to me. And I would tell you that her ass isn't hot, but then I would be lying. And I want our relationship to be a completely honest one. So I think her ass is hot. Sorry.
Eriol
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Hiragizawa-
You are so lucky YOU are hot. And thank you for the complement.
Li
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Mei-
You know I said the secretary's ass was hot right?
Eriol
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Hiragizawa-
I meant the complement for my column. But thanks for bringing the hot-ass thing up again!
Li
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Mei-
I am very sorry. So are we still on for tonight?
Eriol
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Magik M.E.M.O.
Hiragizawa-
Four hours of watching you grovel for my forgiveness- I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh, and you better be on time. Or else.
Li
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Get out of my way!
Sir, you just knocked my coffee on me, you bas-
Sorry! I promise I'll buy you a new one, if I ever see you again!
Hi! Welcome to AAA Airport. How can I help you?
Has any flight for Paris left yet?
Actually, one is leaving in five minutes.
Great. Where is it?
It is located on the West Wing of this airport, sir.
But that's on the other side of the airport!
I would hope so, sir, seeing that you are on the East Wing.
…
So, how can I- Where'd he go?
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From: Roy's Food Service
To: Miss. Tomoyo
Sub: Special offer!
Okay, Tomoyo, this isn't really Roy's food service. It's Yamizaki. I didn't think you'd open this M-Mail if you knew that. But anyway, I have a special offer on farting carrots for your restaurant. Or spitting peas. And squatting tomatoes. Call me if you're interested!
Yamizaki
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Sir! I can't let you on board! The plane has just started to take off!
No it hasn't, it's still on the ground!
Sir, that's part of the take up process!
Ugh! Move!
Sir, come back!
Sakura! Sakura! I need to give something to you! I'm cominggggggg!
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Breaking News! We do not have any videos or photos, but we at ABC Network know that Li Syaoran, owner and C.E.O. of Li Corp has jumped on the wing of a plane that is taking off to Paris, yelling Saruka! Saruka! What has gotten into this fine C.E.O.? This has been a special ABC Network breaking news segment with Sally Henderson.
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Bang, bang, bang. Sakura! Open up!
Li! Are you on the plane ?
Yes! Let me in! I'm on the wing in front of you!
I can't! This window's too small!
Are you calling me fat?
I wouldn't worry about your weight right now when you could fall off the plane! Hold on! Lady! Lady! Open the door thingy please! My friend is on the outside on the plane!
Miss, I can't. It would be too- Don't do that!
Li! Come in!
Sakura.
Oh my goodness, thank goodness you're safe!
Don't cry, babe. Don't cry.
Awwwwwwwww.
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Breaking News! Li has made it safely on the plane, thanks to a mysterious Saruka. Oh excuse me! It's Sakura. Kinomoto? Oh my God, she's the vice president of Rendezvous in Luxury! Do you think she'll get me a- Oh sorry, back to the story. Miss. Kinomoto opened the door of the airplane for him to let him in, only to be followed by her falling in his arms and crying. Which was followed by a huge Aww. Of Course. This has been a Breaking News Segment with Sally Henderson.
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So, you almost got run over by a taxi, attacked by an old woman, and jumped on a plane to give me my present on time?
Yes. Wow.
That was so sweet. Thank you! But I feel so bad- you almost died!
Hey, babe, no one named Syaoran Li would get killed from a plane. … You look gorgeous.
Why are you being so sweet to me?
I figured if I was crazy enough to jump on a plane to give you a Christmas present, I might as well tell and show you how I-
Would you like any water?
Oh no thanks Miss. Um, Li, I'm going to sleep, okay? Wake me up when we're almost there?
Oh, yeah of course. You can lean on my shoulder.
…Thanks.
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To: Li
From: Eriol
Sub: Where the Hell are you?
Okay, that was a stupid question, since I know you're going to Paris because of that breaking news thing. But are you okay? What's up with you, man?
Eriol
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To: Hiragizawa
From: Li
Sub: -
I was on the News because of this? Anyway, to more important matters. I want her so bad! She's sleeping on my shoulder and all I can think about is making out with her right now. I mean, she's so hot! And smart, seeing that she can actually talk to me and make me feel fired up. Oh my crap. What's wrong with me? Did I just write that?
Li
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To: Li
From: Hiragizawa
Sub: Wow.
Dude, you got it bad. This is a first. Just ask her out!
There's nothing wrong with you. Everyone gets bitten by the love bug once in a while.
Hiragizawa
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To: Hiragizawa
From: Li
Sub: -
I think I will. Actually, I think I have to. God, I am so hard right now. Oh well. I do get hard by just looking at her.
Li
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To: Li
From: Hiragizawa
Sub: Nice to know!
Again, that was nice to know. Ask her out, okay? Save us both the pain. Oh, and I'm loving the blog. Very well improved.
Hiragizawa
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Sakura, wake up. We're almost there.
Oh, okay. Thanks. You're a really good pillow, you know that?
I didn't, but thanks. Um, I need to use the restroom, okay? So, um I'll be gone for a couple of minutes. Because I need to use the restroom.
So, I'll just wait here for a couple of minutes while you're in the restroom.
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Hello?
Tomoyo?
Sakura? Oh my God, is Li okay?
Yeah he's fine, but I need to talk to you!
Ok?
I woke up while I was sleeping and saw the stuff that Li was M-Mailing to Eriol. He really likes me! And wants me, too, apparently.
Wasn't that a tad obvious?
No!
…
What do you expect? I'm a dense person, sometimes. Anyway, he wants to ask me out!
What are you going to say? Yes right? I know you really like him, too.
Of course!
Really?
No!
What? Why? You're going to break what little of a heart he has!
Because Tomoyo, he's just not my type of guy. He's not sensitive or kind! Do you hear his phone messages? And, he's such a player! All he wants is sex! Plus, he's arrogant and stuck up!
He's smart?
Yes, he's very intellectual, but he's not modest about it.
He's really nice to you. He's actually none of those bad things you said about him to you.
Tomo, I want my boyfriend to be good to everyone, not just me. It shows he has no respect for anyone else!
Oh.
Sorry I yelled, it's just, I know I'm giving up someone pretty amazing. I mean he's really smart, and I can have a really good conversation with him, and talk to him, and not to mention he's really hot.
Then give him a chance.
I don't want to waste my time with a player, Tomoyo. Listen I have to go. I'll talk to you later. Bye.
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Bye.
To: Mei
From: Tomo
Sub: So…x2
How was your date? Did he grovel all you want?
Guess what? Syaoran wants to ask Sakura out, but she doesn't want to go out with him. Says he's not her type of guy. Can you believe that?
Tomo
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To: Yamizaki
From: Tomoyo
Sub: Desperate…
Is what you are. No I don't want your pooping carrots and wailing cabbages or talking tomatoes. Got it?
Tomo
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To: Tomo
From: Mei
Sub: (
I don't think I've ever had a worse date! All Eriol wanted to talk about was literature and stuff. And his usual blond moments that are always so adorable couldn't even stop me from falling asleep. And if that wasn't bad enough, I was so bored that when I said I needed to go to the bathroom to get away from him, I ran into the waiter, so he spilled iced tea all over my head. He didn't even grovel at all!
And about Syaoran and Sakura, I've got a plan. M-mail Chiharu to meet me and you at the LogiTech Café (don't ask, they make the greatest coffee) tomorrow at 9:00 am, okay?
Mei
Oh, and is 9:00 at the LogiTech Café okay with you? Sorry, forgot to ask. If you were at my place, you would see a very sheepish grin right now.
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To: Miss. Tomoyo
From: Ron's Food Service
Sub: Special Offer!
Miss. Tomoyo of Soup, Salad, and Breadsticks, we at Ron's Food Service would like to offer you a special discount on all poultry products. You can save up to fifty percent on each slab of meat! This is an offer you can't refuse, so we hope you won't. It will be a pleasure doing business with you, Miss. Tomoyo.
Ron's Food Service
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To: 'Ron's Food Service'
From: Angry
Sub: I can't believe you
Yamizaki-
Don't worry- I didn't even bother to open your M-Mail. How dumb do you think I am, to fall for the same trick twice? You are just so dumb sometimes.
Tomoyo
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So…
So…
This is my apartment.
The Vice-President of one of the most major clothing companies in Paris lives in an apartment. Not that you have to have a problem to live in an apartment. You're perfectly fine, don't worry. Just so you-
Li, stop. It's okay! I just didn't want to live in a million dollar mansion just because I had a decent job. I'm perfectly happy like this.
You're very modest.
Thank you.
So…
So…
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Li's Blog
Mood: Angry
6:00 pm
Holy crap, I am so depressed. I would have put that in my mood space, but angry just sounds more masculine and hot. I know it reminds me of a hot, sweaty guy when I read it. NOT THAT I AM ATTRACTED TO THEM. Just to make that clear.
Anyway, to the, what, one or two people that read this (don't you guys have lives?) the reason that I am 'angry' (I really mean depressed) is because the girl that I want insanely bad, thinks that I am not the guy for her! Beautiful, handsome, hot, and sexy me! What woman in their right mind would refuse me? She probably doesn't even think we're friends because she still calls me by my last name. I try to be nice and sweet to her, and this is what I get. Okay, yes you could call me angry. But not as angry as I was when I found out from sources that she didn't want to go out with me.
And besides, if she went out with me, think of all the street cred she could get! When someone asked her what's going on, she could answer, "Nothing. Except I'm sleeping with my boss." How cool would that be? And yes, of course we'd have sex when we went out. Isn't that a bit obvious?
Eriol, if you're reading this, thanks man. You just saved me three hundred dollars in ten minutes because of this blog. I swear, if I wasn't doing this, her windows would have gone to the graveyard. Not that I hate her, of course. Maybe that's why I feel (I hate that word) so crappy. I just can't make myself hate her like I did when we just met. Is there a lusting curing medicine out there? I need one. Cause I only lust for her. It's not like I love her or anything. Um, yeah.
I actually feel pretty happy, too. I share an apartment with her right now, and from here while she's in the bathroom, I have a pretty good view of her naked ass. So hot. I bet whipped cream would taste good on there. I know I would lick it all off…
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Hello. You've reached the voicemail of Eriol. Give me your name and number, and I'll call you back. That includes you hot girls that call for Syaoran. BEEP!
Hey, dude, nice voicemail. Ha. Anyway, I was wondering if- No, Trina, wait, Daddy will be right there! What was I saying? Oh yes, I was wondering if you knew how to- Wait, Chi, baby, I'm on the phone! No, I'm not asking about the guitar lessons! I was asking if he's seen a fire-breathing dictionary before! They come from Antarctica, you know! Anyway, Eriol, seriously, do you know how to play the guitar? Chi wants to play and earn some money for you guys and- Trina, yes I'm coming. Just hold on as long as you can! She kind of is very horrible sounding. In a sexy way of - Trina, no! Don't pee on my shoes! Oops. Sorry Daddy, I is too late. But, hey, you says to holds on as longs as I cans. So I dids! Hi Uncle Eriol, I just pees on daddys new shoes! BEEP!
Eriol Hiragizawa, you baka! You're taking other girls numbers when we're going out? That's it, we're over! I hate you! BEEP!
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To: Insane
From: Concerned
Sub: What's wrong with you?
Li-
You idiot! What's with all the stuff on your blog? You sounded so helplessly in love when you were m-mailing me and now you just sound like a perverted bimbo on there. You do know that everybody at work knows about it, and so do Mei, Tomo, Chi, Yamizaki, and everyone else! I'm so disappointed!
By the way, do you know why Meiling broke up with me again? I thought we were over when that waiter spilled that iced tea on her head. I guess not.
Hiragizawa
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To: Li Corp. Employees, A-H, I-R, S-Z
From: E. Hiragizawa Li Corp., V.P.
Sub: Well…
I am going to assume that you read Li's online blog when I write you, my friends, my companions this. He definitely wants Kinomoto, but not in the desired way. For me anyway. How did seventy-five percent of you know this was the way he would want her. For sex, and lust. I, for one, am just so disappointed. I wanted my best friend to fall in love. I guess that's not the case.
On the good side, a multitude of you will be winning items for this. So, R.O.L.D. members, get ready to discuss, because we're going for more than justa desk.
Hiragizawa
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To: Hiragizawa
From: Li
Sub: -
Sorry, dude, I was just super pissed. I really do like her. I just know now, since Tomoyo told me, that I'm just not the one for her. Maybe I should just keep on going out with, um, what's her name? I seem to have forgotten… I have to go. She's putting up her Christmas tree and looks so sexy doing it. Hey, blame the hormones.
Li
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To: Tomoyo
From: Yamizaki
Sub: Huh?
I didn't send you that second e-mail! I don't think you're stupid, especially since you caught me and Eriol after we took you bra to fling water balloons the second time. You know, the bra was made originally to fling water balloons, but changed it for girls' breasts because the fit in them better than water balloons.
Yamizaki
I think your ideas are pretty great, though. Farting and Pooping food items. Classic.
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To: Miss. Tomoyo
From: Ron's Food Service
Sub: Hmph!
We will have great pleasure in not doing business with you! How rude your m-mail was, we can't express in words. Have a miserable day. Good Bye.
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a/n wow. i worked my ass of to get this out by today. i think this is my longest chapter. yay me!
a/n: if you got confused reading the voice message from yamizaki to eriol, sorry. the italics is what he's saying to eriol and the regular font is what he's saying to chiharu and his kid, trina.
questions or comments? Review! Plz.
xoxo
rendezvousinparis1892